Daycare overfeeding issues

[theresat858]

For those of you who have been through this before -- how do you bring it up with daycare when you think they are overfeeding your baby? 

What printouts did you give them, if any? 

What did you say and how did you resolve the problem?

TL;DR version: daycare is defrosting milk without telling me and either seriously overfeeding baby or throwing it out.

It came to my attention yesterday that daycare has defrosted 5, 4 ounce bags of milk in the past 2 weeks. 
I have sent C with 16 ounces each day -- for ~8 hours of care, with the expectation that she will eat 3 of the 4 bottles and my parents and/or husband will give her the last one before I get home from work around 6pm.  I know that 16 ounces in 9-10 hours is still on the high end, but I'm able to pump that amount.
However. It appears that daycare is either significantly overfeeding her or throwing out a lot of my milk.  I was not really aware of this until yesterday.  I left the 5 new bags of frozen milk there after they ran out of the first few I had left (but that was when I was sending less milk overall) 2 weeks ago.  Yesterday they said they were out. 
I had not been informed that they had defrosted any of it.  The sheet that C is sent home with has fairly consistently said that she has consumed 11-14 ounces of milk at DC -- never more than 16. 

I do not know yet if the extra milk is being fed to the baby and not recorded or being tossed out, but when we first toured (in Oct, not that long ago), we were told that unused milk was saved and reoffered at the next feeding, and for a while, her bottle amounts seemed to reflect that. Additionally, any unused milk was sent home at the end of the day -- but it turns out that when a 3 ounce bottle was left, it was from a recently defrosted bag, rather than the remainder of the 16 ounces I sent!



Ugh.

I am incredibly upset about this, but I do not know how to approach it with daycare.  I don't want to be "that mom".
I also don't want to have to find a new daycare.  My toddler goes to this one as well and we are very happy with her classroom.

[saraml13]

Ugh. Did you go through similar issues with DD1?

Does your daycare have a policy about how long they will store frozen milk? My daycare dates the frozen bags with when they were brought in and it's their policy to use them within 2 weeks. They aren't sticklers about 2 weeks down to the day, but they do remind me to rotate it down to the fridge and send more frozen.

That's not an excuse for over-feeding and poor record keeping, but maybe there is a policy that is motivating them to want to use up the frozen milk you bring vs holding it indefinitely.

Can you ask for more detailed record keeping? For instance, number each bottle and ask them to record which bottle was used when and how much was left over from each bottle specifically?

[casey]

Ugh. I was so upset those first weeks when DC was wasting so much of my milk.

I'd just be kind and direct. Ask them if they can sit down with you to go over feeding routines so you can work together to make sure LO gets what she needs with as little waste as possible. See what they are saying about the amounts and timing and go from there.

If you are sending 2oz/hour AND they can reoffer milk from previous feedings, I'd also stop sending any frozen. There's not really a need. If they don't have it, they can't waste it. If that makes you too uncomfortable, you can leave frozen but let them know you want them to call you for authorization before using it. Write that on the bag along with your number.

If I remember, you've not wanted to put your girl on a strict schedule, but I wonder if this might be a way to manage it if you can't figure out the above. Write out windows and amounts that seem reasonable and ask them to stick to that. They might be bad at on-demand ... or maybe they have a new person who doesn't understand BM vs. formula.

[casey]

Oh, and I printed out the kellymom sheet on paced feeding -- and added a hand-written note thanking them for their support in nurturing my LO.

[theresat858]

I might have them put her on a schedule. I don't know. I need to figure out if the milk is going in baby or down the drain first, since I feel like the solution is different either way.
As for the frozen milk, I wasn't told they had to use it in any particular time frame...I want them to have it because our commute is usually 40 minutes, but there have been terrible traffic days where we are stuck 1.5 hours from DC, so in that case, they would need it, and I don't want them giving her formula or her starving.
But, they do seem to give her a bottle too quickly...the other day I fed her at daycare at 9am and the sheet said she got a 4 oz bottle at 9:15...WTF? There is no way she needed that milk. She needed a nap.

[Deleted]

Ugh I'm sorry, that's the absolute worst. I think that you should send just the 16 oz, no frozen, and ask them to only use that 4th bottle as an emergency, such as a traffic delay. Maybe keep one bag of frozen for like a major delay and tell them to please write everything down. Unfortunately, being firm and specific about your preferences is the only way to get anything done.

[theresat858]

I sent this email to the director. She has a week to think about/talk to the teachers.(baby won't be in DC next week). Then we will talk.

~~~~

There seems to be some serious miscommunication going on about Celeste's bottles. It appears that 5 bags of frozen milk have been defrosted in the previous 2 weeks, and yet I was not aware of a single bag of extra milk being utilized.

I am sending Celeste to daycare each morning with 16 ounces of milk. The guideline for breastfed babies is 1 oz/hour when away from mom…up to 1.5 ounces/hour for babies who STTN (which C does not). This should be more than enough milk for the 8 hours she is there -- the fourth bottle is "extra", and I anticipate it being used by Lee or my parents in the time that they have her before I get home.

Until yesterday, I was under the impression that this was the right amount of milk, because her sheet generally indicates that she has consumed 10-15 ounces of milk while at daycare - generally in the 11-14 ounce range. When the sheet indicates that she had 13 ounces at daycare and a bottle comes home with 3 ounces in it, I have been assuming that this was just the remainder of the 16 ounces I sent.
Yesterday, it turns out that this was, in fact, 3 ounces left from a defrosted 4 ounce bag.

This matters for a few reasons:
1. If she is consuming 17 ounces in 8 hours at daycare (particularly when she has been fed either immediately before or at drop off), then she is being overfed, and her providers need to learn about paced bottle feeding, appropriate amounts of milk per feeding for a BF baby, and other ways to soothe her when she is not, in fact, hungry, but actually just needs to nap. I know for a fact the last scenario happened at least one day this week - I fed her immediately before I left and said that she was ready for a nap. Instead, she was given a 4 ounce bottle within 10 minutes of when I left. She was not hungry, but needed to sleep.

2. If the bottle being sent home with me is previously frozen milk rather than fresh milk, I need to know so that I can ensure it is used within 24 hours and not just sent the next day.

3. Finally, if she is drinking 17 ounces, I need to pump 17 ounces. If I do not continue to pump as much milk as she is taking in, my supply will gradually suffer and I will not be able to keep up. I can take steps to increase my supply, but I would rather not if it is actually a problem of overfeeding or milk being wasted in some other manner.


How to address the problem occurring changes depending on whether the problem is overfeeding or wasting of breastmilk in another manner, but without accurate accounting of her breastmilk intake, I don't even know what the problem actually is.

In any case, 20 additional ounces of milk in a 2 week period when I am already sending MORE than she should be taking in the time she is at daycare is far too much.

I would love to hear your thoughts on how we can address this issue and resolve this problem.

~~~~

[jesster88]

I wonder if they are using the bags as an ounce or so top off and discarding the rest. Do they give a detailed report of how many oz at each feeding or just total oz per day? I hope you get a helpful response from your letter.

Edit:spelling

[melody330]

Tl;dr - being open and up front helped us get through DC feeding issues



We had some major feeding issues in the beginning too. It helped for me to first talk to his immediate care giver, explain how important it was to iced bottle feed. It didn't stick with her so j went to her supervisor. That helped a lot, and I basically was just very open win them.

I didn't want to be "that mom" either, but bottles and feeding issues were a huge source of anxiety for me. I let them know that too. After about two weeks of tension between the teachers and myself it's totally fine now.

[theresat858]

I got a good response from the director last night. I went to her instead of the teachers bc there are at least 5 teachers in and out of the room in one day, and the main ones aren't there yet when I drop the kids off.
Anyway, she is going to talk to them and they already started accounting better. They do save and reuse bottles, but I think not everything was getting recorded before.
We are also going to discuss other ways to soothe baby without milk.
I'm hopeful that it can be resolved

[horselover]

I have to add that not all babys fit into the guidelines and genuinely need more. My baby eats 24 oz at daycare (I can only pump half of that which sucks but I only send her 3 days and I had a stash from maternity leave so ive made it work but will be weaning soon). I send 3 8 oz bottles over a 9 hr period and she eats twice at home so 5x a day. She was in the 8th percentile so she's not overweight. I'm just sharing my situation incase maybe she genuinely is hungry.

[theresat858]

Feb 21, 2015 15:30:17 GMT -5 horselover said:

I have to add that not all babys fit into the guidelines and genuinely need more. My baby eats 24 oz at daycare (I can only pump half of that which sucks but I only send her 3 days and I had a stash from maternity leave so ive made it work but will be weaning soon). I send 3 8 oz bottles over a 9 hr period and she eats twice at home so 5x a day. She was in the 8th percentile so she's not overweight. I'm just sharing my situation incase maybe she genuinely is hungry.

I don't think that's the case here, because I'm typically engorged on weekends/pump extra when she is nursing on demand.

[bsquaredmsquared]

If by chance any milk is being wasted, perhaps send the same amount spread over more smaller bottles.