Post by tinavonsparkle on Feb 22, 2015 5:02:29 GMT -5
I know I'm going to end up shitting myself - and it will probs be a floater in the birthing pool. I have never even peed in front of my SO - we are both quite personal and introvert when it comes to bodily functions. I'm going to get flamed but we have never even farted in front of each other! I'm worried he is going to see/hear/smell things and be mentally scarred and never find me sexy again.
I'm afraid this baby will be a giant baby. I'm afraid of the cord being wrapped around the neck. I'm afraid of having him circumcised. I'm afraid BFing won't go well, even though I had no big issues with the first 2.
Non baby related, bugs and spiders, ick.
I'm scared of a giant baby too. My family keep saying it and how my belly looks bigger and ahead. Plus halfway US LO was measuring a week ahead. Now I get worried about a giant baby and having to do c section.
@pcrunk I have a huge fear of baby girl coming super early too! There's nothing going on to indicate that but I think about it constantly. I'm supposed to go to a bachelorette party for my future SIL in Vegas over Easter weekend (29 weeks) and I told DH last night I don't want to go anymore b/c I have this weird feeling that if I do, the baby will come while I'm there.
The funny thing is that the only thing about giving birth that I'm NOT terrified of is having a c-section. I think it's because I'm planning it in advance; I know what will happen and I can set up the aftermath. The scariest part about it to me is the epidural, which would happen either way since I've got the world's lowest pain tolerance! Oh and I'm not looking forward to the catheter either.
I'm afraid of the uncertainty of when labor will start. I was induced at 41w with DS, and while those last 10 days or so of pregnancy were miserable... I had a day. (I had no BH, and one single contraction on my own prior to all the drugs of induction)
And now that I have DS1, and family is 250 or more mi away, what do I do if I go into labor at 1am?? (the family's answer is to send DS1 to stay with them until DS2 is born, and I don't want to lose time with DS1 as a solo baby)
I'm also afraid of what labor is going to do to my generally under control back issues.
Post by wifedeangel on Feb 22, 2015 10:10:09 GMT -5
My main fear is having the baby somewhere other than the hospital. My first labor was pretty fast, and everyone tells me the second time goes faster. I don't want to be a news story about how the husband delivers the baby on the side of the road with the 911 operator.
Apart from something happening to the baby, my only big fear is a long difficult labour that ends in an emergency c section. I know I need to stay open minded but I want to do everything possible to avoid a c section.
Post by effthisnoise on Feb 22, 2015 12:29:42 GMT -5
I had a very vivid, horrible dream last night that the baby died in utero, despite having an appointment on Friday where the doctor told me that everything was normal, she was measuring just fine, etc. So now I'm afraid of that.
My main fear is having the baby somewhere other than the hospital. My first labor was pretty fast, and everyone tells me the second time goes faster. I don't want to be a news story about how the husband delivers the baby on the side of the road with the 911 operator.
My first was early and fast. My water actually started leaking 12 hours before I felt any contractions which was the only reason I went in, because it was 'not time'. Even then they were light until 2 hours before delivery. I live an hour from the (any) hospital, so while I don't have a paralyzing fear of it, I do think about it:
My biggest pregnancy fear has always been that the cord will wrap around the baby's neck and I don't know anything is wrong.
Otherwise, I try not to think too much about things. It's been easier this time to do that with keeping busy with a toddler, lol.
My biggest fear is having to go to the hospital alone when I'm in labor. DH and I only have one car, and we live in a rural area (aka cabs and public trans are practically non-existent). We are thousands of miles away from family, and I don't feel comfortable enough asking a friend or a coworker here to go with me. Here's hoping I go into labor on a day when DH drops me at work, or when we are at home doing our own thing.
I'm a survivor of sexual assault, so I've had a LOT of trouble with the whole being pregnant thing (even though we planned for this and want our baby so badly) - especially with regard to all the RE exams and midwife exams. I have good relationships with these providers now, so I can usually handle the appointments without pre-emptive anxiety meds, but labor and the hospital are a whole different animal. I get pretty awful panic attacks and have trouble standing up for myself when I'm feeling vulnerable, so I'm worried I won't be a good enough advocate for myself if I'm in there solo. My birth plan is literally three things: Absolutely no students. Female providers required unless there is absolutely no way to have one. Minimum staff necessary in the room. I have nightmares about being spread eagle on a table with a swarm of providers and students just gawking at me, so I need to be sure that doesn't happen. Privacy, modesty, and control are incredibly important. I'm working on it...but also thinking DH needs a plan for how to meet me at the hospital if we can't go together.
The other stuff doesn't scare me so much. Our hospital has a super tiny episiotomy rate (less than 2%), and I could probably handle a c-section if I had to, though that's obviously not my first choice. Early complications and worries put a lot in perspective for me. If they have to pull him out my toes, I don't care - as long as he is safe and healthy.
There are way too many things to worry about...just reading/thinking about all this requires chocolate!!
Hmmm was interesting reading all of your fears. I would say my greatest fear is the same sorts of things happen with this LO as they did with DD, but with a less favorable outcome. The events immediately before and after DD's birth were an unexpected chain of events in which one thing lead to another to another, etc. starting with my OB having trouble hearing DD's heartbeat and doing an impromptu ultrasound. DH and I really felt lucky like DD had a guardian angel watching out for her. I know each pregnancy is different but I can't help but think about the same sorts of things.
Post by andreap525 on Feb 23, 2015 15:42:03 GMT -5
I totally have the same fears as a lot of you have posted - cord wrapped around baby's neck, stillbirth or miscarriage, any other life-threatening complication. I don't want an episiotomy (yep, I'll be doing those vagina stretches, you betcha). I don't want a C-section. I don't want drugs. But I also know that things happen beyond my control so I'm trying to accept that my plan may not be feasible.
I fear that I'll go into labor while my husband is at work. He's a regional truck driver, so while he's home every day, he drives to and from Cleveland, OH every night. We live in southern mid-Michigan. If he's in Cleveland, I don't think he'd be able to just get back in the truck and drive home right away.
I fear raising a child. I swear to God I'm just a kid. I am so ready to have this baby, we planned and we prayed for her, but when I think about how young 27 still feels, it scares me. I'm not a partyer, I don't do drugs (maybe weed once a year lol), and I seldom drink, but I'm just terrified that I won't know what to do. And I'm SUPER anxious about other moms telling me how I should raise my baby. I have a very weak backbone, and I don't want people to push me around or make me feel like an inferior parent.
I fear heights, bridges over water, super enclosed spaces/large groups, and spiders.
Post by upandbelow on Feb 23, 2015 16:13:36 GMT -5
I've got 3 pregnancy related fears and they transition from fairly rational to ridiculous! 1) I'm scared of loss 2) I'm scared of weight gain - I've always had body image issues and prior to getting pregnant had started to lose weight and get into shape. I haven't been handling the changes in my body very well and know it's going to continue to change. This is all in my head, but it's hard either way. 3) I'm scared of pooping on the table! How ridiculous is that!
Post by islandgirl14 on Feb 23, 2015 17:22:27 GMT -5
I have many of the same fears as others have mentioned... loss, something going wrong/happening to the baby, etc...
Outside of that, I'm petrified of labor, as my labor with DS was totally out of control and I almost didn't my epidural in time. My water broke at home, so I'm worried of it breaking somewhere other than home or the hospital. I'm also really worried that this baby will come even faster, and I either won't make it to the hospital in time (and be one of those "I delivered in my car!!" moms), or won't get my epidural in time!
I am not that fearful of labor and that scares me! I feel like I have a naive confidence about it that is going to be kicked the fuck out the moment it starts. I fear that I don't know enough about being a mother/motherly instincts despite being fairly book smart, reading a lot about labor and the first few months, and being good with other people's children. I fear being almost an hour away from our hospital. There are a few small hospitals nearby that are not great. Working as a counselor I have heard many horror stories of people giving birth at these hospitals or having other procedures done, hence the reason I drive 45 mins for all of my appts. I also had a really bad experience with them early on in pregnancy telling me basically to go home and prepare to lose my baby when that was not what was going on.
Post by whoopsadaisy on Feb 24, 2015 9:19:35 GMT -5
Oh, I couldn't agree with all of these more. My daydreams have become really terrifying these days. I think the biggest, most irrational and recurrent one has been about falling while holding the baby or the baby falling. We live in townhouse with narrow stairs and I'm convinced I'll fall while carrying LO downstairs. A friend of mine was also talking about babywearing while on her elliptical (sounds like a cool idea in general), BUT now I also have a fear of the baby slipping out of the baby carrier and into the path of the gliding stepper things. I could go on about the various ways I'm convinced the baby will get hurt, it all makes me so anxious.
I have had two really great c-sections. No complications, little pain, and quick recovery. I fear my third section will be a complete nightmare with tons of complications and an awful recovery.
Post by schnurette on Feb 24, 2015 19:11:12 GMT -5
Oh god your post just reminded me - what if my water breaks in bed? We have only had our mattresses for a little over a year I couldn't handle it if we had to chuck them because my water broke in bed
Oh god your post just reminded me - what if my water breaks in bed? We have only had our mattresses for a little over a year I couldn't handle it if we had to chuck them because my water broke in bed
We just got a new bed too. I'm legit putting dog pee pads under the fitted sheets where I lay.
Post by clairencub on Feb 24, 2015 19:56:08 GMT -5
I concur with most everyone's fears. I fear labor especially since it's a fear of the unknown. I also fear that I won't be prepared for baby. I feel like I have been procrastinating on everything regarding fundamental purchases (i.e. bassinet, crib, general furniture) and getting a registry together. I read some peoples posts stating that "they're ready" and I start getting nauseous at the thought of how unprepared I feel like I am.
For those of you afraid of your water breaking in bed I have a suggestion. When we bought our new mattress 2 years ago the whole bed bug thing was a big deal in the news. We got a free waterproof/bed bug proof mattress protector that fully encases the mattress. It has kept dog barf and cat pee off the mattress so I'm confident it will keep amniotic fluid and various baby spills from ruining the day. I thought it would be sweaty and crinkly but thankfully it's comfy, especially with a regular cushy mattress pad over top.
Oh god your post just reminded me - what if my water breaks in bed? We have only had our mattresses for a little over a year I couldn't handle it if we had to chuck them because my water broke in bed
We just got a new bed too. I'm legit putting dog pee pads under the fitted sheets where I lay.
I'm going to have to get one of those plastic mattress covers...how embarrassing lol
I'm terrified of walking into the hospital nursery and not being able to tell which baby is mine. I dream about rows of babies all looking the same and I can't tell which one belongs to me.
Lately I am terrified that something is going to happen to me during childbirth. I cried to my husband last night because I don't want to die and leave him to raise our baby all by himself. I also don't want my baby to grow up with out a mom.
Lately I am terrified that something is going to happen to me during childbirth. I cried to my husband last night because I don't want to die and leave him to raise our baby all by himself. I also don't want my baby to grow up with out a mom.
Yep this is mine too. And with my other two their fathers being dead beats and one not knowing how to care for my medically fragile child this is huge!! The worst one in my opinion. So scary girl!
Post by flbabychin on Feb 25, 2015 15:20:28 GMT -5
I'm scared too of labor and not knowing what to expect. I'm nervous about potential tearing or an episiotomy. I'm also anxious about potentially having to have a C-section. If it means I can have a healthy baby, then of course it'd be okay, but I am wanting so badly to have a natural birth. I get scared like PPs that I won't be able to handle the pain. I know a woman from work who went through like 45 hours of labor, and then had to end up having a C-section which feels like a nightmare to me.
Lately I am terrified that something is going to happen to me during childbirth. I cried to my husband last night because I don't want to die and leave him to raise our baby all by himself. I also don't want my baby to grow up with out a mom.
I've always had a fear of death during childbirth! I always imagine being in a scenario where the doctor can either save me or the baby, but not both of us.
Lately I am terrified that something is going to happen to me during childbirth. I cried to my husband last night because I don't want to die and leave him to raise our baby all by himself. I also don't want my baby to grow up with out a mom.
I've always had a fear of death during childbirth! I always imagine being in a scenario where the doctor can either save me or the baby, but not both of us.
That's exactly what I'm afraid of! I already told DH he would have to save our baby before me, but then I get hysterical just thinking about it. DH says he can't make that kind of decision and reminds me that women give birth (and survive) every single day. I think it's because I'm about to become a mother that I'm not really worried about myself anymore, but about the family that I would be leaving behind.
I've always had a fear of death during childbirth! I always imagine being in a scenario where the doctor can either save me or the baby, but not both of us.
That's exactly what I'm afraid of! I already told DH he would have to save our baby before me, but then I get hysterical just thinking about it. DH says he can't make that kind of decision and reminds me that women give birth (and survive) every single day. I think it's because I'm about to become a mother that I'm not really worried about myself anymore, but about the family that I would be leaving behind.
I used to think that before DD arrived. Going into this labor and delivery, I'm telling DH to save me. Do whatever they can to save me first. I hate thinking that way.
That's exactly what I'm afraid of! I already told DH he would have to save our baby before me, but then I get hysterical just thinking about it. DH says he can't make that kind of decision and reminds me that women give birth (and survive) every single day. I think it's because I'm about to become a mother that I'm not really worried about myself anymore, but about the family that I would be leaving behind.
I used to think that before DD arrived. Going into this labor and delivery, I'm telling DH to save me. Do whatever they can to save me first. I hate thinking that way.
That's what my DH says he will do. His reasoning we can always try for another baby but he can't try for another me. Horrible to think about but there you have it..
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