BFing with a Toddler

[summer]

Please tell me how.

I started using the TV during BFing to keep DS occupied. And it worked, but now it is causing problems. For one, now DS asks for TV at times other than BFing, and if I don't give in, he pitches a huge fit, usually culminating in hitting me or DD. Or, if we are BFing and it is on, but it's not one of the shows he wants or likes, he won't watch and demands Bob the Builder, which, if it's not on, I can't help it (well, okay, it's on On Demand, but I sort of balk at the idea that he can get Bob whenever he wants), and he throws the fit and usually hits DD.

Ideally, I would love for him to go back to independently playing, which he hardly does anymore (and which makes me sad; he was so good at it and he seemed to be really happy when he did it), because the TV causes so many problems. And I'm over being hit with the remote (when I forget to hide it) and him yelling "BEEBEE!" at me over and over.  I try to convince him to bring me a book so I can read to him while I BF but he is having none of it.

How do/did the rest of you with more than one do it?  Is this just a battle I shouldn't pick right now?

(As a funny aside, the other day he really wanted to watch Bob and I was holding DD, so he pushed me over the couch, pushed on me until I sat down, and then tried to shove my nursing pillow on me.  It was kind of hilarious.) 

[sagen]

If you are not wanting the TV on try nursing and playing. If you know you are going to nurse pull out some blocks or whatever, sit criss cross apple sauce, nurse, and play with your free hand. I am sorry you're having TV frustrations, but Bob is kind of awesome

[tulips114]

I used to use TV too. Of course, DD1 was only 18 months when I had DD2, she wasn't throwing too many fits yet. I also used to sit on the floor and play with her while I nursed the baby.

[dannytommysmama]

I read books while nursing - figure it benefits both, and I can do it with DS1 sitting next to me. Now, DS2 is faster at eating, so it's not that much of an issue, but I would have the older one "hop up" and it seemed to make him happy.

On the On Demand thing - I totally feel you, DS1 gets mad at commercials. But DVR and On Demand are the world we live in, so maybe just on demand it and save yourself the stress.

Remember when we used to record shows in video cassettes! I think kids these days wouldn't even know what a VHS was!

[summer]

I'm not opposed to the TV; I just hate that it is creating issues already. I actually rather enjoy Bob; I just don't want to watch it 24/7. ;-)

I'll give playing and nursing a try, too.

[ericalee27]

I personally didn't do this but some of my friends did "special" toys that the oldest only got when mom was BFing the younger. It seemed to work for them

[brachysira]

Oh sister, you and I are in the same boat. Plus, my little one cannot eat unless things are super quiet, which means no reading or similar to my wiggly toddler while he eats. On top of that, he solves his quietness needs by taking many meals at night, so I am really tired. Too much TV seems to be hurting my relationship with DD and she is more tantrumy, needy, and just more badly behaved.

Tips I have to limit TV: play somewhere in the house without a TV when you can and have a toy that has been out of rotation, stuff for a favorite activity, and a few favorite books in this location. Go out--library, classes, playdates. Feed the baby during toddler sleeping times (in the AM, she reads in her crib while I get DS ready for the day and feed him, and he takes a long drink during her nap). Feed the baby during a short TV show that is followed by a transition, such as lunch, in order to avoid the temptation to watch for hours. My child will throw a tantrum if I turn off the TV, but will go to lunch willingly and then can be lead to do other things. if you can find things your child can do without help--paint with water, coloring, playdough--set those out for a treat during nursing. My toddler is always like, help, help, with those things, so that isn't a good choice for us, but a lot of kids just like to do these things on their own.

[rosebean]

Honestly, I would start nursing in another room. Move it to his bedroom with some toys that he can play with. Keep them all stuffies so if he gets incited and wacks you or your LO with them, they won't hurt.

If he has his melt down, have a little "calm down" spot and as much as its a PITA, unlatch your LO and get him to a space where he is expected and learns to calm himself. It really works for our little guy. Once he's calm, he can leave the spot on his own steam and continue playing.

[cinnasugar]

This was probably my biggest stressor during DS's first six months of life. DD was about 2 1/2 and it was tough tough tough to figure out how to feed him and pay attention to her at the same time. Without fail, she'd potty or poop in her pants every time I nursed. Honestly I blocked a lot out so I don't have tons of tips. Except I did feed DS while we were out a lot (park, playtime at the gym, playdates, etc). It was almost easier to nurse in public since DD tended to be distracted by other things and not focused on the fact that I was feeding him. At home she tended to act out when I was feeding him. Sometimes I could read to her while feeding him. Also let her 'nurse' her baby doll when I was feeding him, but this only entertained her for about a day or two. I did use the tv some as well. Nursed him while I gave her snacks (that took awhile to eat, like fruit snacks). Ugh. I just get anxious remembering this. I will say that after six months, DS was on a much more predictable eating schedule so it was much easier to feed him then (like I'd put DD down for a nap and then feed him, etc).