Trying to GET IT ON

[happyktmom]

So I probably have your attention with the title.  I have decided to buckle down and get serious this cycle because DH seems opposed to IUI.  I took the last up dose of Femara 7.5mg, made a plan to start BDing earlier in cycle no matter what, use Preseed, Softcups, temp, OPK's. 

So, CD6 we BD'ed and it went great.  I did all of the above.  CD8 (yesterday) - no so well.  For the first time DH couldn't pull the trigger, so to speak, after our Gingko Biloba routine.  This morning, frustrated, I took 2 OPK's - 1 Wondfo and 1 Clinical Guard - Wondfo had what I would call a medium line and the Clinical Guard was faint. WTF?!  I am not charting a pos OPK on FF just yet. I'll see what it looks like tomorrow and we'll try again to BD tonight.

1) I'm super frustrated with DH.  I know it's not his fault he has problems ejaculating and minor ED. 
2) I've been having a lot of pelvic cramping - more than menstrual cramps.  Am I getting my first cyst?
3) I'm so tired of hearing my friends say - If you just relax and stop stressing, it will happen.  STFU!
4) I'm mostly frustrated because this is a time sensitive month - I go out of town without DH on CD11. 

Thank you for letting me vent.  I'm going to try to get my game face on again tonight

[wannabmama]

Ugh ttc is so tricky! I constantly deal with having a hard time getting good timing. DH has horrible sleeping habits so he often falls asleep on the couch right after dinner and I get up way before him in the morning. If FW isn't over a weekend, it's pretty hard for us to get any kind of good timing and it is so frustrating!

Also...the friends comments. I have a friend childless by choice and right when I decided to start trying, I made a comment to her that I just wished I knew if we were going to have problems or not. She replied that I'd only been married 2 weeks and I should just relax. It hurt me so much. I wasn't even saying I wanted to be KU right now, I was just saying I wish I could know if we had any physical reasons it might take a long time. I know she doesn't understand what this process is like, but I feel so wounded. I have been guilty of that in the past, though, too. Watching a friend go through three years if IF treatments I used to think the same thing, wishing they could just take a couple months off and just have fun having sex. I think if you haven't gone through a challenging process it's almost impossible to understand how LOUD that ticking clock can be!

If YH is having a hard time bc of addition to the routine, is it possible to try once without doing the ginkgo or trying to surprise him by doing it at a different time or something like that? I know you want to try to give every time the best shot so to speak...but maybe a time or two with less pressure will be better in long run? I know that's extra hard in a month where you have timing pressure bc of travel though!

Either way, I hope you guys can Get. It. On. tonight and this is the magic dance

[rnmommy]

I'm sorry. I have no advice for you, but I'm always good for listening to a vent. Fx for perfect baby dance timing this month!

[lickwed]

I'm sorry. Hopefully you can get the job done tonight. I know I get pelvic twinges around now when I O. Also, I have to take multiple OPKs because I have really short surges. FX your surge is coming. If you have Od is timing good otherwise? Can you link your chart? Also, hugs because missing your FW for whatever reason is the worst feeling.

mevermind reread your post.  Ignore the timing question.

[lucylulu]

Ugh sorry ED issues are the worst. I've been there. Try to not be frustrated - the guys have a LOT riding on their performance and it totally messes with their minds. What I ended up doing was keeping most of the cycle / TTC stuff to myself. It was easier on him if it was more a mystery. He ended up saying all sorts of silly (wrong) things about timing, O dates, etc but I just left it along. I figured ignorance is bliss = easier to get the deed done.
Good luck!

[boobacat]

I'm sorry. Fx it will work for you. I am taking Femara and I have cramps like AF is coming even though I'm CD7. This happened to me last cycle as well and my u/s showed no cysts. I think it's just the drug stimulating things?
As to your #3 I absolutely hate being told that as well.

[EmsMama15]

Hey happyktmom, I have a couple thoughts as your story sounds so much like mine.

First, did your doc offer a trigger shot? Especially with time sensitive times, the trigger allows you to better know when you're going to O. In non-monitored cycles I didn't do trigger and I O around CD 19-20. The last five cycles, I triggered on CD 10 and ovulated CD 12. Just a thought.

Second, I get way worse ovulation (and even pre-ovulation) cramping with medicated cycles. I say it's like my ovaries are in overdrive. That was true with oral meds and even more so now with injects. I wouldn't worry too much about cysts. Will you have an ultrasound to see how many follicles you have?

Third, ED, ejaculation issues, performance anxiety - they all suck. And getting upset about it just ruins the whole thing. The last month before we went to IUI, I actually had the thought that I hoped we didn't get pregnant because we were both so mad and frustrated I felt like the baby would have issues. my point being, I get it, I have no advice, and I'm sending thoughts your way because it's awful and frustrating.

Last, I hope no one minds that I randomly bop in over here and then leave. I'm still hanging out at the other place but I check in to keep tabs and give my two cents now and then.

[wirt2cute]

Vent on.... this is the most supportive group of ladies. I know for me and H he is "stronger" in the morning compared to at night. My H is not opposed to IUI but he would much rather do things "his way". I even found this crazy piece of TTC stuff and asked H about it. I even sided myself for looking into it. But I totally understand the frustration that is faced by you and your H. Have fun tonight.

[happyktmom]

Wow ladies! Thank you so much!
EmsMama15,my last convo with RE was directing me to IUI. The IUI protocol involved trigger shots and more drugs including Clomid. I think after this cycle, I'll go back to my RE and see if we can do the trigger injections and Clomid with timed intercourse. Clomid scares my DH because of multiples - I think it would be awesome! HEHE

[lickwed]

Check with your RE, but I think a lot of places won't trigger you if you have too many mature eggs. It might ease DH's mind.

[EmsMama15]

Prior to moving to IUI, we did Femara, trigger, and timed intercourse. Also an option and less chance of multiples. And I agree with  lickwed, most REs wouldn't (SHOULDN'T) trigger you with too many follicles.

[agpjt413]

Just wanted to offer mad ((hugs)) - TTC can be super frustrating! We're here whenever you need us so definitely vent if need be!

[waterbaby]

DH has a hard time performing if it's not all spontaneous and full of foreplay. I swear I'm the guy in the relationship, haha. We were going to do TI this cycle and I let him know like a week in advance, so it wasn't a big surprise. He swore up and down he'd be able to perform but when it came down to it, he clammed up. OK, not totally but it was a struggle. We ended up getting an IUI on Saturday. I know it's not ideal but I said, let's just do the IUI to take the pressure off. I don't have any suggestions to help but I just wanted to commiserate.

[happyktmom]

waterbaby, thanks for understanding EXACTLY what I mean! and good luck on your first IUI!!! How was it? painful? awkward?