I mentioned last week that the inlaws didn't call DS1 on his birthday. Wellllllll my bsc mil called DH on Thursday to tell him they weren't coming to his birthday party. She is mad because we had BIL and his family over on DS's actual birthday. They don't get along so we have to 2 celebrations for everything. Last year she was mad because we invited her over for dinner on DS's birthday and asked them to sit out the birthday party. It was a bounce house party and we thought BIL's kids would enjoy more than the inlaws. She sent us a crazy letter saying that she was "pee-owed" at us. Lol I'm done with them. She cannot come in and out of the kids lifes at will. I'm so sad because my parent are toxic and crazy too. So my poor babies don't have any normal grandparents. I'm about to start trolling retirement communities to find sane grandparents for them.
Sorry your MIL is BSC. We have a lot of family drama here too, my brother started stuff on DS's birthday party last month, so I can relate. Sometimes it is a lot better to be without certain family members and their toxic relationships, than it is to deal with it.
Post by isolemnlyswear on Feb 23, 2015 12:54:24 GMT -5
DH and I had such a good night on Saturday. Yummy dinner, wine, movie, no arguments... it was great! Fast forward to 12:30am and Cece wakes up. It's the weekend so I nudge DH to help as I get up with her all week. 5 minutes go by and my baby is still crying and I have no clue what and where DH is. So I get up. DH comes in sees me with her and goes back to bed?! WTF? I spend the next two hours up with her. Then she wakes up at 5 to eat and gets up at 7:30 for the day. I was exhausted. I asked DH to watch her and he says? Well I need to take a shower first. WTF?? Because I get to take a shower all the time? Yesterday was a very quiet day around the house....
anotherdreamer, he goes through phases of spending more time with his xbox than me, usually when he has a new game but pointing that out starts an argument that spirals, normally ending with him making me the bad guy and suggesting I go back to therapy for my depression that he always assumes is the cause of my outburst. Usually I put up with him only interacting positively with me during dinner when he gets like this but I'm hormonal and stressed out from stopping nursing so I'm not taking it as well as usual.
I feel like I should point out that when he isn't in one of these phases, he's actually really sweet and affectionate so it's only sometimes he's an unreasonable ass.
lucanjo14, It's totally ok to be pissed that nothing is clean at your house, if your H would have the expectation that you took care of the kids and house if he was at work. Double standards are shitty, but my experience has been that families with SAHMs have a really nicely kept house, and families with SAHDs are a disaster.
My husband works too but my shifts usually end at 11 so if it's a weekday shift he gets them from daycare around 6 or if it's a weekend he has them all day. My issue isn't even about getting things done (like laundry or something) it's more that he doesn't pick up after himself. There's at least a few hrs after the kids are asleep I just wish he would wash a few bottles or pick his clothes up off the floor. I spend a lot of time playing catch up with housework because I'm constantly picking up after him.
I hate having to work the baby's nap schedule around DS1's school pick up/drop off. He won't take a 3rd catnap so if he wakes too early from his PM nap he's cranky by 4 and wanting to go to bed at 5.
I got a bitch email from a client about getting stuff to them on time, when they make 100 last minute changes to everything that pushes everything back.
I started looking up formula feeding in case DS keeps up the strike. I don't really know the rules or what I'm doing. WTF is up with every website beginning their article with, "The AAP recommends breastfeeding for the first year". Women don't need to be judged by formula articles, just give me the f'ing info!
lucanjo14, It's totally ok to be pissed that nothing is clean at your house, if your H would have the expectation that you took care of the kids and house if he was at work. Double standards are shitty, but my experience has been that families with SAHMs have a really nicely kept house, and families with SAHDs are a disaster.
My husband works too but my shifts usually end at 11 so if it's a weekday shift he gets them from daycare around 6 or if it's a weekend he has them all day. My issue isn't even about getting things done (like laundry or something) it's more that he doesn't pick up after himself. There's at least a few hrs after the kids are asleep I just wish he would wash a few bottles or pick his clothes up off the floor. I spend a lot of time playing catch up with housework because I'm constantly picking up after him.
I ended up having a conversation with DH about how it would be a huge help for me if he did specific tasks. Like in the morning I would ask if he could wash bottles, or put laundry in the washer, or pick up the toys. He needs a little direction, and then he will do what I suggest. Hes never upset about it, I just think he sort of overlooks the mess.
My husband works too but my shifts usually end at 11 so if it's a weekday shift he gets them from daycare around 6 or if it's a weekend he has them all day. My issue isn't even about getting things done (like laundry or something) it's more that he doesn't pick up after himself. There's at least a few hrs after the kids are asleep I just wish he would wash a few bottles or pick his clothes up off the floor. I spend a lot of time playing catch up with housework because I'm constantly picking up after him.
I ended up having a conversation with DH about how it would be a huge help for me if he did specific tasks. Like in the morning I would ask if he could wash bottles, or put laundry in the washer, or pick up the toys. He needs a little direction, and then he will do what I suggest. Hes never upset about it, I just think he sort of overlooks the mess.
This is what works for us as well, but honestly, the other way around. He's always the one bitching about stuff "not getting done" because our priorities on what needs to get taken care of and when are not the same. I'm trying to do better about seeing what might frustrate him if I let it sit because it's not bothering me, and he's trying to do better about specifically asking for help on things that he needs help with.
My only MBF so far is the spreadsheet I'm working on is broken and not updating like it's supposed to. So far this thread has made me grateful that the hubs has never been into video games. We don't have a gaming system of any type in our home.
I posted a few weeks back about my boss's cancer coming back. Well I found out today that her insurance denied the chemo. What the eff is that about? What's the point of insurance? Argggh.
I posted a few weeks back about my boss's cancer coming back. Well I found out today that her insurance denied the chemo. What the eff is that about? What's the point of insurance? Argggh.
I am so sorry to hear that. That is seriously messed up. Is there any way she can appeal?
She's appealing. I just think its ludicrous. We have insurance exactly for this reason!
I mentioned last week that the inlaws didn't call DS1 on his birthday. Wellllllll my bsc mil called DH on Thursday to tell him they weren't coming to his birthday party. She is mad because we had BIL and his family over on DS's actual birthday. They don't get along so we have to 2 celebrations for everything. Last year she was mad because we invited her over for dinner on DS's birthday and asked them to sit out the birthday party. It was a bounce house party and we thought BIL's kids would enjoy more than the inlaws. She sent us a crazy letter saying that she was "pee-owed" at us. Lol I'm done with them. She cannot come in and out of the kids lifes at will. I'm so sad because my parent are toxic and crazy too. So my poor babies don't have any normal grandparents. I'm about to start trolling retirement communities to find sane grandparents for them.
I am so sorry your family has put you in a shitty situation.
I have really nice next door neighbors you can have
DH. Asked if we could have some "alone time" last night. TBH I wasn't even remotely in the mood and haven't been for months but figured it might get him to pay some attention to me for once. Well, we wanted to wait til everyone else was asleep (fair enough) so I put netflix on while he played his game. Fastforward a couple of hours to me nodding off and he decided to start pawing at me then was surprised when I wasn't interested. Then he got in a mood and ranted at me for apparently only being interested in sex and getting mad when it doesn't happen. Riiiiight. I have felt the polar opposite of sexy for months and am perfectly happy just having a cuddle and going to sleep but that never happens either because he can't play xbox and cuddle (guess which one he chooses EVERY SINGLE TIME?). Last time we had sex (I say "we", I mean him) I was pretty much asleep because it was 3am and didn't have the energy to argue. I wasn't against it but wasn't exactly up for it, either and slept through almost the whole thing. He also selectively forgot the last few times where he got his and I put up with it then cried after but hey-ho. AT LEAST I DON'T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH IT FOR LONG. There, I said it.
Edit - TL;DR DH not showing affection but still wanting sex, getting mad at me for wanting affection.
I am so sorry your husband is being an ass. I don't think anyone can understand what it is like to have sex after children. For me it still hurts every time he initially crosses the door so to speak. I think I would have given my husband a shiner for trying to keep me up to have sex. Why are men so selfish? Did he ever acknowledge you crying?
DH and I had such a good night on Saturday. Yummy dinner, wine, movie, no arguments... it was great! Fast forward to 12:30am and Cece wakes up. It's the weekend so I nudge DH to help as I get up with her all week. 5 minutes go by and my baby is still crying and I have no clue what and where DH is. So I get up. DH comes in sees me with her and goes back to bed?! WTF? I spend the next two hours up with her. Then she wakes up at 5 to eat and gets up at 7:30 for the day. I was exhausted. I asked DH to watch her and he says? Well I need to take a shower first. WTF?? Because I get to take a shower all the time? Yesterday was a very quiet day around the house....
Story of my life. Also DH is constantly getting in the shower as soon as DD goes down for a nap. I'm like, hello? This is the only time I have to shower what are you doing!? Ugh so annoying. Also he's been sleeping in on the weekends until after DDs first nap! I love spending time with her in the morning because she is so stinking cute but I'm exhausted!! Then he gets all pissy with me because I'm in bed by 9 and he wants to hang out and watch tv or a movie. Grrr
I am having issues with DHs ex wife. He took his oldest son to the tutor today, but afterwards found out that his ex hadn't given the tutor any of his sons school work that he's struggling with. She called the school district to get an IEP for him but hasn't followed up for 2 weeks. " waiting for them to call back" isn't sufficient! We could have gotten him the IEP in our school district by now. And of course my DH is now a mess. He dropped his oldest son off at his exs house and asked her boyfriend ( who lives there) if he could say hello to his younger son. The bf called him and said "G your.......father is here". He hesitated to say father. I feel so bad for DH. I wish we could just have the boys with us.
kam3100, so many positive thoughts and crossed fingers for an appeal to work out, what's the point of insurance if it doesn't cover medial expenses?!
jlhv1909, It took a total meltdown (by me) to get him to help with the baby's night fed when she was still up 4 times a night up until recently. I've had the affection meltdown and he's currently on his best behavior but only because my death-stare nearly burned his face off when he got in from work and asked if I was up for it tonight. You're dead on with the commication issue though, I don't talk to him and better than he talks to me - we need to work on that.
Leapinglizards, DD is #2 so I've been round this before but was LDR and on BCPs after DD1 so I guess I just never had to deal with the pain or the hormones. He doesn't know the full extent of the crying because he's only actually seen it once and was horrified then swiftly forgot all about it. I don't think he can actually wrap his head around how miserable I am, he's a very happy guy and just doesn't "get" anything beyond kind-of sad.
I am having issues with DHs ex wife. He took his oldest son to the tutor today, but afterwards found out that his ex hadn't given the tutor any of his sons school work that he's struggling with. She called the school district to get an IEP for him but hasn't followed up for 2 weeks. " waiting for them to call back" isn't sufficient! We could have gotten him the IEP in our school district by now. And of course my DH is now a mess. He dropped his oldest son off at his exs house and asked her boyfriend ( who lives there) if he could say hello to his younger son. The bf called him and said "G your.......father is here". He hesitated to say father. I feel so bad for DH. I wish we could just have the boys with us.
I am sorry I can't imagine having to split time with our kids. Although it seems like the BF might be overstepping some boundaries if he can't spit out father
Had a snow/sleet day and day care was canceled !!! So hubby and I stayed home with dd. yeah but I have a shit ton of work with some serious deadlines. I wasn't able to work at all from home bc dd didn't nap and was a level 5 clinger. They just announced schools are closed again tomorrow and told husband he has to takes her half a day then I can lock myself in the study. Your work is not more important than mine.
Cdnfroggy, I'm from an emotionally blank family so I think a big part of it is that I was conditioned to hold everything in -good or bad- so no-one can really tell the extent of my feelings until I explode.
Dude. EVERYTHING IS CLOSED. Tomorrow too! Just got an email my dentist office is closed again, schools are closed again. Wednesday they are calling for 1-3 inches of snow. GOD HELP US.
Yikes. I wonder if she had to reschedule again because she was supposed to go tomorrow. We had some rain and thunder and lightening today. Of course we are on storm watch. I'm sure the east coast would laugh their asses off at us.
Cdnfroggy, I'm from an emotionally blank family so I think a big part of it is that I was conditioned to hold everything in -good or bad- so no-one can really tell the extent of my feelings until I explode.
I kind of understand that, my family was kind of like that...not big on sharing feelings etc. Well, we're here for you if you do need to get things out!!
I feel better just for venting. He knew something was up though, he brought me a kitkat, offered to play scrabble then we had cuddles AND he got up with the baby at 3am so I take back some of what I said
Yikes. I wonder if she had to reschedule again because she was supposed to go tomorrow. We had some rain and thunder and lightening today. Of course we are on storm watch. I'm sure the east coast would laugh their asses off at us.
Oh, I got the following picture posted on my FB pic of the "snow" here from one of my Boston friends:
Also, my husband is supposed to fly to Denver tomorrow Morning for work. And the forecast for the next few days is just shit. Wth Texas?!
I'm so glad we didn't get any snow/sleet where I am, because down here the very notion of it makes the government CANCEL EVERYTHING. (And then I have to use a vacation day which pisses me off.) I was afraid the school districts would close or delay which would make the daycares delay...which would then lead to me having to explain to my boss why a 7 month old would be a good asset to have around while we interview applicants today. (Considering the job opening is for a childrens position...I could make a strong argument that a baby would make a good asset in such a case!)
Yikes. I wonder if she had to reschedule again because she was supposed to go tomorrow. We had some rain and thunder and lightening today. Of course we are on storm watch. I'm sure the east coast would laugh their asses off at us.
Oh, I got the following picture posted on my FB pic of the "snow" here from one of my Boston friends:
Also, my husband is supposed to fly to Denver tomorrow Morning for work. And the forecast for the next few days is just shit. Wth Texas?!
Meanwhile, the north is under 27 feet of snow and the general public consider wearing long pants outdoors...
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