The struggle with the chicken nugget

[xanthepants]

news.nationalpost.com/the-kids-menu/

Interesting article on changing the expectation/approach to kids eating. I personally go back and forth with this. We sometimes just offer her meals that I know she will eat and sometimes I make her a plate of what we are having with a side she will like. Out at restarants we are never adventurous and I regret it sometimes. I want her to enjoy and have a healthy happy relationship with food, lord knows I don't. So I struggle. I thought the article was interesting. What about you?  I  know a lot of us struggle with this especially now that they have a voice.  How were you raised?

[summergirl1211]

I was raised to eat what we were given (which is what my parents ate) or nothing at all. I forced down the veggies I didn't like and looked forward to the meals I did like. But I knew I didn't have a choice and I didn't want to go hungry.

Ugh, this article makes me cringe because that's exactly what we've been doing with Riley. We always give her a veggie (usually corn or peas because she won't eat anything else) and fruit, but we then rotate nuggets, cheese quesadillas, eggs, and a few other things. But it's always from our freezer and unless family is visiting, it's always before my H and I eat. We offer other foods often but I'm terrified of her going hungry and then not sleeping well. And well, sleep is important.

Sigh... I think we need to be making some changes around our house, including eating more meals together and not giving her so many "kid" options. I knew this transition was coming but was dreading it. I wanted to make sure she understood that if she didn't eat what was given she wouldn't get another option. I'm not sure if she's there yet, but it's worth a shot. No time like the present, right?

[jodielyn10]

I struggle with Ingrid being a picky eater SO MUCH. I am about as adventurous as you can get when it comes to food and I've always been that way, so for her to be picky kills me. When I start to feel like a failure when my kid eats chicken nuggests and veggie pouches I stop myself and think of my brother. We were raised identically. We sat down to eat as a family every night. We rarely went out to eat, and my mother NEVER made a separate meal for us. I will happily eat just about anything you serve me, but my brother is the pickiest person I have ever met. He would sit at the table for HOURS after dinner was over because he refused to eat what was served. Even when he choked it down, he hated it and never "acquired" a taste for new food.

Still, at 35, he doesn't eat a single condiment. No flavored anything. Plain chips. Nothing "exotic". And you know what? He's tall, thin, athletic and healthy as a horse. He no longer has the metabolism he once did, so he cuts back on sodas and forces himself to eat salads and lean food to be healthy, but he still doesn't enjoy anything out of the ordinary. So I just try to think of my brother and give myself some grace when I feel guilty for giving my daughter food I know she will eat.

[laurski81]

Feb 23, 2015 14:10:40 GMT -5 xanthepants said:

news.nationalpost.com/the-kids-menu/

Interesting article on changing the expectation/approach to kids eating. I personally go back and forth with this. We sometimes just offer her meals that I know she will eat and sometimes I make her a plate of what we are having with a side she will like. Out at restaurants we are never adventurous and I regret it sometimes. I want her to enjoy and have a healthy happy relationship with food, lord knows I don't. So I struggle. I thought the article was interesting. What about you?  I  know a lot of us struggle with this especially now that they have a voice.  How were you raised?

My work won't let me open the link but...the bolded is us 100% and I agree with wanting him to have a healthy/happy relationship with food. He is very strong willed and honestly for the most part a pretty good eater. But in my mind there is a time and a place for a struggle and when we are out or at someone else's home for dinner I am not going to purposely initiate a fight by getting adventurous. Most of the time if we are going to a place that we have not been before I will try and check out the kids menu to see what the options will be and I usually will pack something with me just in case.  I always try to get him to at least try what we are eating first and if he flat out refuses I always have a side I know he will eat and if he is really hungry and won't eat then I usually break down and make him something he will. I know that may not be instilling the best habits but I usually keep some easily "Henry friendly" meals available to be made fast just in case. 

I don't remember my Mom making us "special" meals if we wouldn't eat what she prepared but then again I don't really remember much from when I was a toddler/elementary school aged (I'm talking more middle school) so honestly she may have and I just don't remember. 

[origamimommy]

Kevin and I were always doing this for Tyler. He had a strict 7pm bedtime, and we didn't get home until 6. We would heat something up for him and let him eat in front of the tv while we unpacked the car, prepped dinner, etc. He went to bed at 7 and we cooked our dinner, ate around 8, etc etc. Honestly it was too much. We were both angry and starving by the time we got to eat dinner, and I hard horrible guilt because I was doing exactly what I said I wouldn't do.

So I changed things. I told daycare to give him a snack at 5 (I send in healthy snacks)and then when we get home, I make him help me (if he's in a good mood) cook dinner, or get the markers / play doh / etc out so he can play while I cook. I cook meals H and I want, and stuff I know Tyler will like. Then we sit at the table and eat dinner together. Honestly, there are time Tyler won't eat anything, but he drinks his milk and that's it. The only thing I will offer is a pouch. Fore example, last night we had fish tacos, southwestern rice (I cut up red peppers and onions and seasoned it), and mashed beans. He ate all of it, even the fish tacos (he even told me it was fucking delicious). The night before I made baked potato soup and he didn't like it, so he didn't eat. I will not force him to eat food he doesn't like, but I do make him try a bite before he gets more of what he does like. When we had the soup, he ate the bread, and I gave him a new piece of pita bread for every bite of soup he took.

Honestly, it's a lot less work than the other way. He is eating way healthier, and we have device free dinners, so we sit and talk and it's good family time. He eats way more and is much more likely to try something new when he sees H and I eating too. Just a suggestion, if you don't like it change it. It just worked really well for us and I have so much less guilt about his food!

[origamimommy]

In response to restaurant, yes he eats off of the kids meal. At home is where we talk about healthy eating and trying new things. Like laurski said, it's not the place to initiate an argument with a kid. Whatever, pizza once in a while will not him.

[aimeefarrahfowler]

Thanks, that was a good read.

Honestly, our evenings are so rushed that I don't eat dinner until after the kids go to bed so usually end up making LO whatever he wants to eat for dinner or whatever is easy to make which ends up being a lot of chicken nuggets or PB&J. If we are having a family meal, A will just eat whatever we are having with no options for something else.

Restaurants are hard because an adult portion is too much food for him, but he eats so much that he really needs his own food, so we're usually stuck with whatever is on the kiddie menu, but he's not crazy into it. One time I got him chicken and fries and he ended up eating all the broccoli off my plate.

I have been blessed with a very non-picky kid. Partly probably because MIL feeds him Korean food during the day so he is used to eating a wide vareity of things. Two of his favorite foods are water kimchi and seaweed soup. He loves all kinds of fish and crab and lobster.

My biggest struggle is teaching him limits. I don't want to say any food is "good" or "bad" but also that just because one cookie tastes good doesn't mean you should eat six. that's probably my biggest issue too...

[bliz1712]

Our rule is always that you have to try what I make and then if you don't like it then you can have a PB sandwich. V is old enough now that she makes her own. I'm not making extravagant items, but the kids eat what we eat for the most part. When I was dieting it was easier to make them nuggets or hot dogs and then I ate my diet food, but we don't usually do that. And they are not afraid of the seasoning, but again I don't cook with too much crazy stuff.

For Hanna specifically, I make sure she always has a fruit or 2 and a string cheese. Then she has what I make for us or I'll make her another meat. Our downfall is that she refuses to eat veggies. I try to get them in when I can, but I've basically given up that fight. Meal times are sometimes a struggle to just get her to eat anything these days.

We eat our meals together at the table, except for H, he usually doesn't eat dinner so it's just us girls. When V was little we ate every meal in the living room with the tv and after awhile I realized that wasn't setting a good example and causing her to not focus and eat so we changed it. It gives us a chance to talk about her day at school or sports activities.

ETA: It's hard for me to be too critical because both H and I are picky eaters.  I am very mindful and don't make a lot of outrageous meals for V's sake and we tend to eat the same meals rotated for week after week.  Also, Hanna is really starting to be good about trying stuff.  Just Friday she tried a breaded shrimp.  I was shocked.  V on the other hand is a struggle to try stuff.

[pinkluna]

The article makes some interesting points, but we struggle with it too. When we're eating out I tend to avoid the kids menu, mostly because it's cheaper to order from the regular menu and have the kids split it. Or we share from our plates. Growing up my mom always made kid-friendly lunches and then for dinner she'd make some variation of what they were having if we didn't like it. My little sister grew up with a much pickier palate. Like mostly eating pizza and hot dogs. Then she ended with GI issues and decided to change the way she ate. Now she's sort of a foodie and sticks to a Paleo diet.

I see a difference with my two as well. L is the pickier one in general, although E is the one who doesn't like PB&J sandwiches. I try to be flexible based on their individual likes/dislikes and try not to force anything upon them.

[bantyrooster]

We look for an overall healthy eating day vs individual meals. He eats way better if people are eating with him. He likes most all things. If we have something new we do the "take a bite to get a bite " usually he realizes he likes it and eats it. If he really doesn't like it after trying then that is okay. There are foods h and i like that aren't kid friendly (spicy) so I make a variation for him.

Lunch is where I struggle because I just throw together whatever for us and don't make a full meal. I feel like we eat the same 10 things for lunch.

[jodielyn10]

Feb 23, 2015 14:25:19 GMT -5 summergirl1211 said:

I was raised to eat what we were given (which is what my parents ate) or nothing at all. I forced down the veggies I didn't like and looked forward to the meals I did like. But I knew I didn't have a choice and I didn't want to go hungry.

Ugh, this article makes me cringe because that's exactly what we've been doing with Riley. We always give her a veggie (usually corn or peas because she won't eat anything else) and fruit, but we then rotate nuggets, cheese quesadillas, eggs, and a few other things. But it's always from our freezer and unless family is visiting, it's always before my H and I eat. We offer other foods often but I'm terrified of her going hungry and then not sleeping well. And well, sleep is important.

Sigh... I think we need to be making some changes around our house, including eating more meals together and not giving her so many "kid" options. I knew this transition was coming but was dreading it. I wanted to make sure she understood that if she didn't eat what was given she wouldn't get another option. I'm not sure if she's there yet, but it's worth a shot. No time like the present, right?

I am with you here.  I want to start eating together, but until now it's just not really possible with our commute.  We were getting home after 6 most nights, and the kids go to bed at 7:30, so we basically had to feed them as soon as we walked in the door so they wouldn't be eating and getting straight into bed.  Now that we will be getting home around 5:30/5:45 every night, I'm hoping to have a few mintues after getting home do actually get all of our food ready before sitting down together to eat.  We do give Ingrid a separate meal from what we're eating, but I imagine that will be the case for a while since my H and I eat primarily salad for dinner.

Even though we give her food we know she will eat, I do hold the line with her asking for something else.  If I give her ravioli (which she begs for most nights) and she says she doesn't like it and she wants something else, tough.  I tell her she eats what we gave her or nothing.  There have absolutely been nights where she went to bed after eating maybe two bites of food and drinking milk.  She's always slept just fine when that's happened, so I don't stress about it.

[origamimommy]

jodielyn10, Crock pot meals are a huge help with this! I make a lot of different stuff if I know night time will be crunched so that we can try and eat together. I don't know if you are a fan of or interested in crock pot meals, but they can help.

UO maybe? I will only cook 3 or 4 meals in the crock pot. I have a really nice one and I just think it makes the meat taste funky, like soggy but dry. So I will only cook stews or soups.

[xanthepants]

We grew up with 4 kids and there was no way my Mom was cooking 5 meals for all of us so we mainly had what was served as I remember it. However my sister and I were mainly picky about veggies and would only eat like 2 of them so that was the thing that was swapped out.There just weren't the sort of ethnic options and varieties of foods growing up in Nebraska in the 70s as there are now TBH. We always sat down for family meals each night and we continue that tradition now with Cosette.

I think that I put too much on Cosette's plate. I'll put a little of what we are eating then a little safety entree and then a veg and a fruit and a carb. Too much. I think I will go with the same entree as we are eating unless it is downright too spicy from now on. And then perhaps offer an option or 2 for her sides.Or at least I am going to try. She will usually try a bite of things and I know it takes like 8-9 tries to truly incorporate something into your diet or not. She gets a sticker for trying as motivation right now.

[summergirl1211]

Feb 23, 2015 15:18:05 GMT -5 origamimommy said:

jodielyn10, Crock pot meals are a huge help with this! I make a lot of different stuff if I know night time will be crunched so that we can try and eat together. I don't know if you are a fan of or interested in crock pot meals, but they can help.

UO maybe? I will only cook 3 or 4 meals in the crock pot. I have a really nice one and I just think it makes the meat taste funky, like soggy but dry. So I will only cook stews or soups.

jodielyn10, Yeah, Riley and I usually get home by 5:30 but my H doesn't get home until 6:30 some nights, depending on traffic and if he has stops along the way. And Riley's always in bed by 7:15 and I don't want her eating right before bed. Maybe we can try for the weekends and a weeknight here and there to start, depending on schedules.

origamimommy, I make crockpot meals all the time because I don't mind the leftovers and it's so easy to just prep and let cook while we're gone. Riley NEVER eats anything I make in it, but I usually make pretty tangy or spicy things because that's what my H and I enjoy. I guess we'll just keep trying!

[aimeefarrahfowler]

Feb 23, 2015 15:18:05 GMT -5 origamimommy said:

jodielyn10, Crock pot meals are a huge help with this! I make a lot of different stuff if I know night time will be crunched so that we can try and eat together. I don't know if you are a fan of or interested in crock pot meals, but they can help.

UO maybe? I will only cook 3 or 4 meals in the crock pot. I have a really nice one and I just think it makes the meat taste funky, like soggy but dry. So I will only cook stews or soups.

I just got a crock pot for christmas and I know what you mean. The only thing I've liked that I made it in it was chili. I made a chicken dish and pot roast, and it was just like you said - everything was soggy but the meat was dry. Maybe I'm cooking it too long? Weird.

[jodielyn10]

Feb 23, 2015 15:18:05 GMT -5 origamimommy said:

jodielyn10, Crock pot meals are a huge help with this! I make a lot of different stuff if I know night time will be crunched so that we can try and eat together. I don't know if you are a fan of or interested in crock pot meals, but they can help.

UO maybe? I will only cook 3 or 4 meals in the crock pot. I have a really nice one and I just think it makes the meat taste funky, like soggy but dry. So I will only cook stews or soups.

There are some crock pot meals that I will make on occasion, but mostly just soups or meat.  Except for taco night once a week and eating out, we mostly just eat salad and eat almost no carbs at night.  Most nights we make our salads while Ingrid and Eli eat.  I'm hoping with the extra 20+minutes a night we can make our salads before the kids need to eat so that we can at least eat at the same time. 

[sarasansh]

I was only able to skim the article, but it had a lot of interesting points. I think there's more at play than just parents giving into kids, however. And I feel like the person who wrote this article may not have their own children, because it's written from the perspective of someone's who appears to never have gotten into a power struggle with a toddler.

Robin was not picky at first--when he started eating table food he loved broccoli, squash, fish, meatballs, yogurt, oatmeal...all manner of things. He ate what we ate. As he got older he starting refusing more and more things. For him I think it has way more to do with having control over something than not wanting to eat something. MH had tons of weird food rules when he was a kid (like having to clear his plate, and having to take seconds because his parents didn't want leftovers) and it lead to a lot of unhealthy eating choices as an adult. I want Robin to have as healthy a relationship with food as possible. Right now that usually means he eats something different than us for dinner. We still sit down to family dinner every night, and once he picks something I won't make him something else. But he doesn't like noodles, and if we're having spaghetti, I'm not going to sit there and force him to eat noodles.

He does still eat all manner of fruit and lots of veggies, which is another reason I don't worry too much about his eating habits. If he was only eating white foods than I might feel differently. But in general I'm of the mindset to offer lots of healthy options and let him choose. And I am starting to see him become more adventurous--he's starting requesting salad, and now a lot of times he asks to try our food--and then usually changes his mind--but I think the fact he's asking means he's starting to become interested in more things.

Now, I will say that I think my expectations will change as he gets older. I think parents of 6 and 7 year olds who are making separate meals are doing their kids a huge disservice. By then I expect he'll eat what we eat. But again, I also will make food that he likes. There was a line in the article about an adult being Italian and eating octopus was part of the culture, so his children were expected to eat octopus. I won't do that--make things I already know Robin doesn't like. But I will expect him to eat what we eat, make healthy foods he likes, and to encourage him to try new things as much as possible.

[jodielyn10]

Feb 23, 2015 15:30:44 GMT -5 sarasansh said:

I was only able to skim the article, but it had a lot of interesting points. I think there's more at play than just parents giving into kids, however. And I feel like the person who wrote this article may not have their own children, because it's written from the perspective of someone's who appears to never have gotten into a power struggle with a toddler.


Now, I will say that I think my expectations will change as he gets older. I think parents of 6 and 7 year olds who are making separate meals are doing their kids a huge disservice. By then I expect he'll eat what we eat. But again, I also will make food that he likes. There was a line in the article about an adult being Italian and eating octopus was part of the culture, so his children were expected to eat octopus. I won't do that--make things I already know Robin doesn't like. But I will expect him to eat what we eat, make healthy foods he likes, and to encourage him to try new things as much as possible.

LOL at the bolded...I had the same thought as I was reading the article and remembering when Ingrid agreeing to eat a CHICKEN NUGGET felt like a huge win. That's how picky this child is.  And I'm sorry, I can put vegtables on her plate every day.  She will not eat them.  And she won't eat the other food on her plate until she's removed the offending item.  You can only throw perfectly good food away so many times until you give up and find a new battle to fight.

I agree with the last paragraph too, I will have better expectations of her eating in the future, but I will also respect her enough to not force things on her she will hate.

[bliz1712]

sarasansh I completely agree with your first paragraph. I would be willing to bet the writer is not a parent or at least not of an older child and had this struggle yet. If I know V doesn't like a meal, I don't put it in the rotation as often as other meals. However, I'm not going to not make it ever just because she doesn't like it. There are other people in the house and I for one might like the meal, lol. On those days, I just make sure she eats the scoop that I require and then she makes her PB sandwich. Just because I like something doesn't mean that she is forced to eat it. Plus, there are meals that she likes or will eat she just doesn't want them some days.

[origamimommy]

sarasansh, I think that is dead on! Since we've started sitting down to dinner as a family, Tyler has gotten so much more adventurous, and I always offer at least something I know he will like. I think you made a good point about not forcing something they don't like. I was forced to "finish my plate" and now I will eat things I don't like just because. It's not the smartest or best way to manage eating habits, and it's something I am trying to break now. I will make him take at least one bite. And to clarify on the soup, he said he did like it, but he wanted only bread. That's why I made him take a bite for a new piece of pita. At least get some protein and nutrition from all the veggies in it instead of just pita for dinner.

It is really hard to feed a toddler. Just recently Tyler has started using phrases like I don't like this, whereas before, I always thought it was just a power struggle. Now if I know he doesn't like something, I will still put it on his plate when we make it, but I don't force him to eat it. His pedi said exposure is the number one thing right now. She said that most parents do get frustrated with the power struggle and give up, but try to give at least a tiny bit on their plate so they see it, and most kids will come out of their picky phase and start being adventurous. It's definitely easier said than done, but it does help me with T a lot.

[roo1582]

Our rule is that she only gets what we are having for dinner. Honestly, there are nights she doesn't eat dinner, not because she doesn't like the food, but because she's a 2 year old who feels the need to put up a fight...There are the few times where I do make something just for her (chicken nuggets or other leftovers) if I feel I'm making something she definitely won't eat (something spicy like chili). Rght now she is at the point where she rarely eat meat, so she will eat the veggies and rice/potato/pasta side. Our pedi told us its not uncommon for kids to not want to eat dinner at this point. Breakfast is best, lunch ok, dinner hit or miss. I'm hoping eventually she'll grow out of it.

In regards to restaurants, we are not adventurous at all with her meals. We usually order her grilled cheese, mac & cheese, or a hot dog since we know she'll usually eat those. Sometimes chicken nuggets but those are more hit or miss at this point. I don't want to fight her in a restaurant about what to eat, so I reserve those for home

[britbratjf]

I agree with a lot of what sarasansh said. I'd say ever since Dagby turned 2 she's started refusing food that she would happily eat before. And it changes week to week as well. I don't know how much of it is being picky or how much is just a control thing. But regardless I follow the same rule my mom had, if you don't like it you can have cereal. That way I'm not making another meal but she still eats. Honestly I was picky as a kid and now will eat pretty much anything. I grew out of it & I live with the assumption Dagny will too. She does eat fruit, yogurt, some raw veggies & beans so I feel like she eats enough good stuff that Nuggets or a hot dog & fries every once in a while is fine.

[nursedesi]

We were having major power struggles at supper time, then I read "give peas a chance". It has definitely helped. It says keep offering even if they dont try it. And always offer a "safe" food that you know they will like.

We've been doing better. Bfast is always cereal or french toast. Lunch is something I know he will like (ham sandwich, popcorn shrimp, chicken fries or left overs from the night before and Henryalways with a fruit and crackers/ sunflkwer seeds). Then supper r he gets what we eat. We expect he at least try it. We know he absolutely doent like spaghetti so I make him butter noodles with broccoli instead. Thats the only meal that I make him something "special". Otherwise he eats what we eat.

When I was a kid my mom gave up on doing fruits and veggies because we made a big production of spitting out the food. So we at the main meat and that was the end of that.

We dint expect Henry to eat his plate till its gone, but he needs to try it if its new. He can have more fruit or veggie if he wants it if he doesnt want to eat the main dish. But we ended the giving him a pb sandwich or cereal because he didnt want to eat what we were.

We also always sit down to eat together. This week MH works till 730 so it will just be us at the table. It acutally is better if H is t there because he was the one stressing the eating and Henry would get upset and not eat at all.

[trixi282]

I read the beginning of the article and skimmed the rest. We're going through the power struggle thing now, and I think some of it has gotten worse since living with IL's because MIL will make dinner and then say "J what are you having (or what do you want) for dinner?" She also does a lot of casseroles and soups right now which J doesn't really eat much of. Whereas our go-to for dinner was chicken breast, veggies and sometimes with a rice or potato. J always had a little of the chicken and scarfed veggies depending on what it was (she still doesn't like cauliflower).

Lately even with a casserole, I notice MIL doesn't make a veggie, even though we have about 20 of the steam bags in the freezer. Maybe I just need to start doing that so J has SOMETHING to eat besides her go-to's.

With this recent thing J has been getting a lot of random dinners, and I don't love it. But I always put a little bit of what we're having on her plate and ask her to try it. Especially if she's asking for more of something. Then it always turns into "You can have more X when you taste Y." Sometimes she likes it, sometimes she spits it out, which is fine. I just want her to taste it, because when she does like it she'll often forget about things like yogurt or waffles, and eat what we have.

My go-to's for her dinner if we do have something I know she won't eat are Greek Yogurt, Turkey deli meat, string cheese, fruit, peanut butter sandwhich, or cereal. I need to resort back to doing the veggies which is what I always made her in VA... and she eats most of the veggies I offer her.

When we go out to eat I do usually order from kids menus (mac & cheese or chicken nuggets)- or I get side orders of things. We went to a local place a few weeks ago where H, MIL, & FIL got a pizza, and I got nachos (surprise). We got J a side order of steamed veggies. She had one small corner of pizza and ate the entire bowl of veggies they brought (minus the cooked red pepper). The waitress was even impressed that she ate all the veggies. And I was glad she got that instead of a bunch of junk. She refuses to eat French fries now though (not mad at that) so I always ask to sub veggies or fruit for fries.

[trixi282]

Oh I'll also add that (I think I mentioned it before) FIL doesn't help matters when he gets up after finishing his dinner and we're all sitting there still (usually waiting for J). Then he'll go in the kitchen and get a "treat" of some sort and start talking about it... 

The other night he said something stupid like "J will share this cookie with me right?" Well of course she HAD been eating great, then all she wanted was a fucking cookie. After he went upstairs and we had the huge power struggle over "you finish your food first, if you don't eat, you don't get treats." MIL said "well this is all grandpa's fault."

Daddy came home a few minutes later with a shake and handed it to her without knowing what had happend, and then of course I was a bad guy for taking it away immediately and walking right back into tear-filled tantrum land. FML. I told him and he stood by me 100%, but it sure makes life harder. She still didn't finish the food she had asked for. So she went to bed after 1/2 yogurt (with granola) and milk.

Living with them has gotten her really accustomed to "treats" and I don't like that either, because we don't typically have that stuff at home... she has had more "treats" in the last 2 months than she had in her first 2.5 years of life.

[bliz1712]

trixi282 I can't imagine living with my parents' or the ILs. My parents tend to give in even when I've specifically said no and I hate it. And MIL is just a caterer to what they want. V doesn't like carrots so she'll give her chicken noodle soup and make sure she doesn't get a single carrot in it. I hope you are able to find a balance while you are living there.

[trixi282]

Thanks bliz1712. It's not too bad, and they are both for the most part good about letting me (or H) discipline and do our thing without getting in the way. When she goes on time out, they (typically) stay out of the way and let her cry and let me deal with it. But there have been one or two times where she's crying and one or the other hasn't been in the room to know what's going on and they just say "oh no, what's wrong". So then I have to be the bad guy and say, "No, you're on time out" and explain to them to leave her alone.

Whereas with H and me, if he wasn't around he'd walk in and be like "so why is she crying" before coddling her or whatever. It's just different.

So far we're making it work okay, but they're definitely grandparents! I'm getting ready for our house hunt though and I can tell H is ready to get out and have our own place!

[lainikins]

I did find this article to be quite one sided. We tried only offering mostly healthy food, he was only offered the one (toddler friendly) choice at day care, and at home we would give him what we were eating. This was from when he started eating only solids until 2. My son was starving himself. He gained less than an ounce from 18 months to his two year appointment. The doctor told us that we had to stop and just get him to eat whatever he would eat. The struggle is real for us, but I am thankful for chicken nuggets. They are one of the few foods he will eat, and even some days he will not even eat them. I would love to give him the food that we eat, but I will not starve my child to do so.

[sarasansh]

Feb 24, 2015 8:36:22 GMT -5 lainikins said:

I did find this article to be quite one sided. We tried only offering mostly healthy food, he was only offered the one (toddler friendly) choice at day care, and at home we would give him what we were eating. This was from when he started eating only solids until 2. My son was starving himself. He gained less than an ounce from 18 months to his two year appointment. The doctor told us that we had to stop and just get him to eat whatever he would eat. The struggle is real for us, but I am thankful for chicken nuggets. They are one of the few foods he will eat, and even some days he will not even eat them. I would love to give him the food that we eat, but I will not starve my child to do so.

Isn't it funny how the people who seem to have the strongest opinions about what kids should be doing usually don't have kids of their own?

[nesenotes]

I was also raised to eat what your are given and to at least take a bite of new things. If i hated it I didn't have to eat it all but no one was making me a separate plate either. I sort of do the same thing with emery but I can't be too strict yet. Or at least I feel like I cant. After 4 I'll start to enforce it. For now I ask what she wants and have learned if I deviate she will not eat it. Although I always offer her a bite of what I'm eating. I've found she loves shrimp!!! Random. She will not eat most meats but will eat a whole plate of shrimp. She also eats fish soup and lentil soup, but not fish if you give it on a plate. Kids are weird. For now I just let it be what it is.

ETA: she pretty much eats only the same handful of foods every day no matter what I try. But i let her try what I'm eating just out of curiosity.