TTM about biting

[sagen]

Aww I am so sorry, that is sad for you both Tell the daycare people to watch out for the kid so they can try to prevent it.

[Deleted]

DS went through both sides of this - being bitten and being the biter. We always got incident reports and a discussion from the teacher every time it happened. I would definitely bring it up with her teacher, because at the very least, they should star watching the biter for triggers, like fights over toys, and intervene.

I'm sorry! While the bites are scary, I tend to treat it as NBD, maybe because my kid has hurt other kids. He means to get physical in the moment, but it's always because he's frustrated or annoyed and lashes out physically because he lacks the words or the other child lacks the ability to comprehend and respond to what DS wants.

[tulips114]

We've been on both sides of this too, with both girls, but it was worse with DD1 both for being the biter and bitten. We usually got an incident report, but on several occasions I would find bite marks on her without having been told. I'd bring it to their attention the next day and they'd say they had no idea it happened. DD1 has a high pain tolerance and she wouldn't cry or tell them it happened. It drove me crazy.

We started telling her when someone bites you tell them 'no no, no biting!' In hopes that would get the teachers attention. Did it work, meh no not really, but she grew out of it as did the kids around her.

I'm sorry though. It's very hard to go through that.

[photomama1990]

Ugh I am going through this right now. Except my child is the aggressor and he scratches. I have other kids in my house a few days a week. There is one little boy who is the same age as E and is always the one getting scratched. I feel badly. I try to curb it every time. It is always either fighting over a toy or that my DS says something and the other kid doesn't understand (e is speaking sentences. The other kid doesn't talk much and I'm sure he doesn't necessarily understand what E is saying. So even though E is saying "excuse me" the other kid doesn't move and he gets mad and scratches.) But sometimes I have to pee. I used to bring one of them with me so it wasn't too big of a deal, but they can both unlock and open doors now.

I don't know how to stop E from scratching. I keep his nails short and obviously we don't scratch him at home. None of the other kids scratch him. It's driving me nuts. I really try, but feel like I'm failing this one.

[Deleted]

If your kid is the aggressor, there are a series of books that could help. We bought Teeth Are Not For Biting and read it with DS. And I know that daycare also has Hands Are Not For Hitting, among others.

[ericalee27]

I'm with brux -- DS1 was both a biter and a bitee (sp?!) - it seemed to just kind of sweep through his classroom at daycare at one point but didn't last too long. If you didn't get an incident report, I would make sure daycare knew about it so that they are keeping a closer eye out for the biting incidents. My daycare "shadows" any known biters more closely to prevent any other occurrences if they can. (Hugs)

[hangryhedgehog]

I would let them know so they can keep a closer eye on that kid. DS is going through a major hitting phase right now. While it's totally normal we are still correcting him with short time outs. I might need to go get that book. @bruxannie

[Deleted]

Behavior like this is so hard when you have an only child. DS isn't hitting or biting us, so we have very little opportunity to correct him at home. It's 99% his behavior at daycare. So we can talk about it, and he's getting better at understanding his actions and our feelings on him not doing something.

Just yesterday, his teacher made him come home to tell me that he was throwing toys. So he told me and we just say "no, that's not nice, it's not something we do to our friends and our things." and hope it sinks in.

[pinkie]

I would definitely tell them so they can watch for it. We have been lucky, our son has only been bit maybe twice and it hasn't happened in a year. I would rather it not happen but I understand it's just child development.

[rosebean]

We went through this before too. I did report it to our DCP and she was a lot more careful about it. In the end, that child did get kicked out of her facility because she wouldn't stop biting and pulling hair nonstop. Consequences weren't working, and I watched her one day. She would wait until she thought no one was looking, then look for her victim. It was kind a relief when she moved.

[cinnasugar]

Been there, with DD1. She was bitten and then she became the biter. It is frustrating to be on either side of this. You did the right thing by bringing it up with the DCP and hopefully they'll keep a closer eye out.