OPEN LETTER TUESDAY!!

[origamimommy]

We haven't done this in a while.  Board is slow, so let's do it!

Dear boss,

I love working for you, I really do.  Not everything is about you.  The way you are going on and on about your cold (A COLD) makes me think you are actually a man.  Only they expect that much pity for a freaking cold.

Could you get it together and either stay home or stop whining?

Kthanks.

Dear weather,

Fuck off.  It is cold, we all know that.  You have made your point.  -10 degree temps is fucking outrageous.  I know it's winter, I am used to the cold, but this.... This is unacceptable.

,
Origami

[cookiesandwine]

Dear Friday,
Get here!!!!!!!!!!!!


Dear money,
Multiply yourself in my bank account.


Dear job,
You're sure I can't go PT but still get paid and benefits for FT? Really? Please?


Dear H,
I love you, but if you set your alarm for the crack of dawn, then decide not to go into work early after all and sleep peacefully for another hour while I'm tossing and turning, I will hurt you.


Dear Sadie, 
Do you hate me? Why is everything a battle with me but you're good as gold for H? He's even the mean one!  I carried you, birthed you, and nourished you for 15 months!!!  Please stop kicking me.

[summergirl1211]

Dear Bailey,

Sweet dog, I'm so sorry that you're feeling so awful. You haven't eaten in two days and you have wicked diarrhea. You must be miserable. But at the same time, I can only feel so bad for you. After all, you really shouldn't have eaten that chocolate Saturday night when we all went out to dinner. I know Snickers bites are delish, but they are for people and not dogs. You luckily only poisoned yourself enough to feel like you're dying. I hope tomorrow is better for you!

Lots of love and snuggles,
Mommy

ETA: 2 injections, fluids, and $125 later, I hope you've learned your lesson. Snickers are for mommy and dog food is for you. NO. MORE. CANDY!!!!!

[junkytrunk]

Dear work,

You made me start early, wake my sweet sleeping child up before the sun to get him to DC in order to start working early because you implemented 2 hours mandatory OT and now we might not have to work it? You better let me stay those 2 hours because I want the money and I had to change my whole schedule for this.

Sincerely,
Your PO'd worker

[aimeefarrahfowler]

Dear H, I really appreciate you trying to help me with the dishes, but when it takes me twice as long to reorganize everything you put away, that's really not helping that much.

[xanthepants]

Dear Sis
I love you. I do. But I think you are insane for buying your 23 year old child a house that is more expensive than mine. And that he has never worked a day in his life. I get that you want to do everything for him, but this is beyond spoiling him. Seriously. And I am more than a wee bit jealous. I will work for years. YEARS. And maybe just maybe I will be able to convince my H that we should move by saving every extra penny we have. You should have just bought me a house. I'd appreciate it more.
Just saying
loving sis who would give you a kidney

[roo1582]

Dear worldly aura,

Could you please let me win the lottery? I don't want to have to go back to work next week. I would love to be able to stay at home full time. Winning the lottery (or at least a good chunk of change) would allow me to do that. This leave has gone by way too fast thanks to the holidays, hospital stay, weekly doctor's appts, weddings, etc. Just now I'm finally being able to really enjoy my time with my kids. Please, please don't make me go back!!!

Thanks!
Keeping my fingers crossed

[sarasansh]

Dear voice,

Please come back. I'm tired of my kids telling me that I sound weird.

Dear week,

Why is it only Tuesday? I'm already dying for a weekend. Why can't we work 2 days a week and have the other five off?

Sincerely,

Lazy and hoarse

[mrsplaydoh]

Dear Grandma,
Please get stronger every day. My heart hurt so much seeing you in ICU hooked up to an uncountable number of tubes on Sunday. We need you and are not ready to let you go.
Love,
Your praying Granddaughter

Dear Nanny search,
Pick up the pace. Last time was not this hard. How can every person I message on care.com not reply back to me, who doesn't check their emails now a days?!
Sincerely, Impatient nanny searching Momma

Dear M&M's,
I want you and I don't have you dammit.
Love, wanting chocolate lady

[bantyrooster]

Dear shots,
So far you have been not so bad for my baby girl. Please continue to be nice to her and not turn her into a miserable baby.

Thanks,
Already overly tired mom

[paddyb]

Dear body,

Please, please do not get sick. I don't have time to be any more exhausted than I already am.

love,

Your busy occupant.

[snickers4everyone]

mrsplaydoh I'm sorry your grandmother is so ill. Praying for you and yours.

[trixi282]

Dear Nugget,

You really did it this time. Why can't you make that mass cooperate and listen? All I want is for this thing to get smaller or stay the same size and just let you grow strong and healthy. I am not one to wish away the months, but I just want you here so we can fix this and make it better.

Love,
Your Mama


Dear Mortgage Gods,

I really hope all goes well with this pre-approval process and we can get rolling on looking for a house. I really would love to buy a house so we can settle in and just have a place to truly call home!

- The anxious lady over here


Dear housing market,

Just stay put and allow us to find the place that's just right for us. I really want to find something that we can afford and that we love... or at least really like! Your rates better stay low, and your housing selection better be good!

- The soon-to-be-Househunter

[laurski81]

Dear barely pregnant lady at BBRU today,

The "expectant mother" parking is wonderful and I think that being able to take advantage of those spaces when you are pregnant is huge deal, especially when the parking lot is packed and it's getting hard for you to get around. Now I will be the first to say that I have no idea what sort of medical conditions you may be faced with, and you may need to park in a close spot, and I and all my varicose veins sympathize. But, darling mother-to-be, the two "expectant mother" spots at our BBRU were completely covered in a good two to even four inches of snow and ice, while all of the other hundreds of spaces...I'm sorry...hundreds of EMPTY spaces, were completely clear. I am just having a hard time understanding your decision to park in the "expectant mother" space and carefully climb out of your car onto dangerous/slippery conditions, instead of just parking in the spot RIGHT NEXT TO THAT SPOT, that was clear and dry. I know that sometimes pregnancy will make you do crazy things but come on...think a little bit smarter next time.

 not always thinking straight but still wouldn't do that,
Laurski

[trixi282]

haha laurski81, I totally thought that was going somewhere else when I started to read it (like as in she was barely pregnant and the lot was pretty full and you could have used that space much more).

But your letter is even better than I expected... seriously LOL'd over here. The rationale of some people is astonishing.

[laurski81]

haha trixi282. I have honestly never used one...even if the parking lot was packed. I'm more of the mind that even with my issues a little exercise is good for me. I just had to laugh because I was sitting in my car, having just finished my shopping, and witnessed this woman carefully park and then gingerly try to get out of her car for like a minute. If she just parked in the very next spot over she would have already been in the store and out of the cold. It was ridiculous.

[pegleg715]

Dead Evie,
Stop waking up in the middle of the night to pee. Either hold it or utilize the damn diaper and leave us alone!
Love, your ambien deprived mother.

Dear Caz,
Could you just potty train yourself in the next 4 months please? I know you want the m&ms. Just do it.
Forever yours,
Mom who doesn't want to go back to buying 2 diaper sizes.

Dear iggy,

Knock it off! Enough of the enormous baby that creates insane heartburn and food aversions. I want my damn cheez it's.


And lastly.....

Dear IRL friends with new babies,

Your child is not special. You do not bring your child to adult only activities because they don't like their FATHER. You do not bring your baby to girls night out. You created the monster who wants no one but you. Either fix it. Or stay home. I don't want to take a night off from MY KIDS (who I love) to go to dinner with you and your annoying 7 month old.

Annoyed friend

[mightybee]

Dear weather,

Please, please, pretty please be kind. I have this mini reunion meet up with my very best girl friends from college this weekend that I *need* to attend. There us dinner/drinks, a spinning class, and brunch on the books and I don't remember the last time I had such a fun "me" weekend to look forward to. Schools are already closed tomorrow and I hear you're dumping more snow Thursday/Friday. If I can't make it to my train on Friday, I will have to drown my sorrows in wine and cookies.

Crossing all my appendages

[trixi282]

Dear J,

I came really close to giving you away tonight or just walking out and leaving you with your grandparents. What is your deal? Seriously? I can't take the crying and whining anymore. Thank goodness daddy came home eventually and saved me from your incessant crying.

Your already stressed, but loving mother.

[somethingcleverer]

Dear person in the aisle,

It's Boost not rocket science just pick another flavor if your favorite is out of stock.

Signed
The person listening to you

[laurski81]

Ok, so it's Wednesday and this really isn't an open letter because it is an email that I just had to send to all of the females that work in my office but anyway...oh and we just have a normal dispenser. Not one of those crazy complex ones that need a key or something like that.

Good Morning!

Professional etiquette and restroom etiquette standards in general, would suggest that when one uses the remaining toilet paper in the restroom it should be replaced by that individual. While this seems like common sense, I unfortunately cannot make the leap to assume that everyone is on the same train of thought when it comes to toilet paper replacement and what is common courtesy. This is due to the fact that over the course of two days alone I have run into this situation on three separate occasions.  That being said if you use the remainder of the toilet paper while using the facilities, please replace it. The toilet paper is conveniently kept in the cabinet right below the sink so you do not need to go on a major expedition to find it! There are dozens of rolls in there!  Wow! Talk about a quick and easy task! I don't know about you but there is nothing worse then rushing to the restroom and realizing the toilet paper dispenser is empty, much too late.

Thanks so much.

(my signature)

For real though...WTF people. I would hate to see some of these people's homes.

[cookiesandwine]

Feb 25, 2015 9:48:01 GMT -5 laurski81 said:

Ok, so it's Wednesday and this really isn't an open letter because it is an email that I just had to send to all of the females that work in my office but anyway...oh and we just have a normal dispenser. Not one of those crazy complex ones that need a key or something like that.

Good Morning!

Professional etiquette and restroom etiquette standards in general, would suggest that when one uses the remaining toilet paper in the restroom it should be replaced by that individual. While this seems like common sense, I unfortunately cannot make the leap to assume that everyone is on the same train of thought when it comes to toilet paper replacement and what is common courtesy. This is due to the fact that over the course of two days alone I have run into this situation on three separate occasions.  That being said if you use the remainder of the toilet paper while using the facilities, please replace it. The toilet paper is conveniently kept in the cabinet right below the sink so you do not need to go on a major expedition to find it! There are dozens of rolls in there!  Wow! Talk about a quick and easy task! I don't know about you but there is nothing worse then rushing to the restroom and realizing the toilet paper dispenser is empty, much too late.

Thanks so much.

(my signature)

For real though...WTF people. I would hate to see some of these people's homes.

HAHAHAHAHAH  Please come here and be our HR manager.