Summer plans, redux.

[mirandah]

What a hassle setting up summer camps/school release care. But, it beats staring out the window into the frozen tundra.

Background: DS is in first grade, ASD/ADHD/GAD. Mainstreamed with shared aide. Two years ago we sent him to a YMCA day camp for the first time and he loved it. Lots of outdoorsy stuff, horses, pool, canoes, etc. Low staff ratio (1:10). Last year the ratio shot up because of his age group and now he was in 1:15 and his counselor didn't seem to be as organized and DS complained about camp for the first time. They play a lot of dodgeball and archery, both of which he dislikes. The remainder of his summer was spent at his school's summer program, which he loves because it's all free time and field trips.

This year I'm thinking harder about where to send him. As he gets older his interests are becoming more limited, e.g. he has expressed that he does not want to go to YMCA camp or a new X'nex camp I found for him. He's caught on that if he just goes to the school care, he'll get to command his own schedule. SO- I'm going to push him. I signed him up for YMCA day camp but with the "horses" specialty, which he said he'd enjoy. I signed him up for a 4-day K'nex day camp over spring break. I'm nervous about that one, but there are only 20 kids in the class so I'm hoping it won't be too bad. I emailed staff about my concerns and am waiting to hear back. Then I bit the bullet financially speaking and signed him up for two different week long ASD day camps. They aren't social skills specific, but basically regular day camp activities with higher ratios (1:3). The remainder will be spent at his school program.

Thoughts? None of the registrations are firm, we won't know until March. His summer is only 8 weeks since they start pre-labor day. I tend to worry that I'm not exposing him to enough stuff so I'm trying to do this in the summer. He has expressed that he doesn't want to do swimming lessons again and he doesn't even want to try karate. When he was younger he was much more eager to try anything. I'm wondering if there came a time when you realized the "typical" camps aren't cutting it and you had to branch out? I thought we'd be reverse, that it would get easier as he got older, but instead, as the maturity gap widens, I'm more worried about where I send him.

[princesslily]

Thoughts?

I think you have a great plan in place, and youre willing to encourage him and give him opportunities to grow during the summer. I thknk your doing a great job.

I'm wondering if there came a time when you realized the "typical" camps aren't cutting it and you had to branch out?

That's what we're facing this year, for a while we tried mainstream camps where the ratio when he was younger allowed for DS to grow and be nurtured in the summer. However as he is entering first in the fall, he needs more help/guidance than the typical camps can afford. I'm not sure if for us, its the maturity gap or the expectations on higher ratio camp groups now.

DS (5yo, K) has ADHD, an undefined neurodevelopmental disorder and a speech sound disorder

[mrsbuttinski]

Dodgeball? A you f*cking' kidding me? I thought that was outlawed under the Geneva Convention or something.

It can be hard to navigate camps for a kid with one foot in special education and one in mainstream. Age matters, too. How old is he now?

There are a bunch of factors that play into this-

Some sports and activity based camps for those past age 8 or so attract kids who are already fairly proficient at something and looking to improve skills rather than serve as an "Intro" to the activity. For a kid coming in without the requisite skills, participation can be frustrating.

On one hand you want to give the chance to be a happy camper, but it has to be balanced against allowing him to make choices that interfere with social and emotional growth. A mix of allowing him to chill and pushing a little out of his comfort zone sounds a lot like what we did.

At some point you might want to consider a sleepaway camp. These are some good ones-

Summit Camp
www.summitcamp.com/

Camp Kodiak
www.campkodiak.com/

Talisman Camps
talismancamps.com/




DS did a sanctioned K'Nex Camp here years ago. They're manufactured near here.

It was moderately successful- DS didn't like it being full day, nor a couple of the more "intense" kids who were probably also on spectrum, but he loved accessing kits that weren't available outside of camp. The lead counselor was a science teacher and very good with the kids, but she was also a Mel Gibson fan. They were filming "Signs" on campus and she'd take the kids for a walk through the gardens after lunch. DS came home with fantastic tales each day. LOL, they filmed the pizzeria scene across the street from DS's psych. We saw a lot of "Signs".

[mirandah]

Thanks for the comments. He's almost 7 now. Doesn't have any NT friends, at least those that come calling or who respond to offers for playdates. I'm inviting the whole class to his bday party; he's only been invited to one bday party all year and it was a kid who invited the whole class. I'm definitely feeling the feet in both worlds this summer. mrsbuttinski, I know you've said in the past that you've just sent your kid off assuming that things would go well, and for the most part, that's what I've been able to do up to now. But as princesslily, points out, it's easier when they are younger and the ratios are lower. He is starting to actively resist anything he is not good at. For example, he loves K'nex, but he hates the kits. They are too hard. He likes to watch me put them together (the same way he'd rather watch someone else play video games). I'm hoping a camp (with good staff) will help him gain some confidence doing things on his own.

Dodgeball is all the rage around here. At Y camp they call it "gaga pits"- think dodgeball in a small wooden walled pit- and it's supposed to be where legends (or was it nightmares?) are made.

I've given thought to the ASD overnight camps. There are several in MN. There's a camp called Buckskin that mandates a month stay! I think DS would flip the fluck out (no electronics for a month- ohmygod) but I can see how beneficial that would be when he gets older. They take kids as young as 6! That seems a bit harsh. No parent visits are allowed.

I think I'm just having a pity party. Folks in my office are all abuzz sharing tips on summer day camps that I can't realistically see DS attending. Also DS has really latched on to this idea that he has autism and therefore above others and he gets to attend special camps. Yesterday he asked me to send him to a new after school program that caters to ASD kids because his current program "isn't conditioned to handle kids with ASD." I asked him why and he replied because they make him eat lousy snacks and they don't have a computer lab. He's not old enough for me to really reason with him, or he just doesn't want to hear what I have to say, so there's no talking him out of his ideas.

[mrsbuttinski]

Feb 25, 2015 16:38:29 GMT -5 mirandah said:

Thanks for the comments. He's almost 7 now. Doesn't have any NT friends, at least those that come calling or who respond to offers for playdates. I'm inviting the whole class to his bday party; he's only been invited to one bday party all year and it was a kid who invited the whole class. 


Ouch. We stopped doing birthday parties after DS left the LD school. They really got into parties there since we parents all knew what it was like to have a kid who didn't get invitations or a decent turnout on their own birthday. He got invited to one or two in 4th and 5th and then another in 12th. Plus a bar mitzvah. Band was great because he got invited to all the band parties.


I'm definitely feeling the feet in both worlds this summer.


BTDT.


I know you've said in the past that you've just sent your kid off assuming that things would go well, and for the most part, that's what I've been able to do up to now. But as princesslily, points out, it's easier when they are younger and the ratios are lower.


We never had the issue with transitioning from smaller groups to larger ones; but we weren't doing full day camps at first. Three hours wading around in a creek at nature camp was OK. He didn't get too resistant about camp until we did the "afternoon enrichment" camp at his LD school's summer program- he was OK the first year doing Legos, bicycle mechanics but hated yoga. The next year they swam and did crafts which he didn't care for. So the last year I just picked him up at noon.

He is starting to actively resist anything he is not good at. For example, he loves K'nex, but he hates the kits. They are too hard. He likes to watch me put them together (the same way he'd rather watch someone else play video games). I'm hoping a camp (with good staff) will help him gain some confidence doing things on his own.

It's hard. Do you think this is anxiety around needing things a certain way and having others do for him to make it work? Mine isn't a perfectionist and was great fine motor and following kit instructions. But man we got push back on pretty much everything else. Scout camp wasn't too bad because he was motivated by rank advancement and could pick merit badges that appealed to him. 

Dodgeball is all the rage around here. At Y camp they call it "gaga pits"- think dodgeball in a small wooden walled pit- and it's supposed to be where legends (or was it nightmares?) are made.

I'm no stranger to games. At scouts the boys always played British Bulldog and Swing the Thing, but they weren't allowed to aim at people, per se, so no Dodgeball.


www.mikeroweworks.com/2010/08/2010-national-jamboree-shining-light-full-broadcast/


Around 3:16:20 to 3:23:00 Mike starts talking about scout games. But the reason I posted this is he also talks about learning to do what is uncomfortable and difficult and how that builds resilience and character. 

I've given thought to the ASD overnight camps. There are several in MN. There's a camp called Buckskin that mandates a month stay! I think DS would flip the fluck out (no electronics for a month- ohmygod) but I can see how beneficial that would be when he gets older. They take kids as young as 6! That seems a bit harsh. No parent visits are allowed.

A month seems a lot for a six; but there are kids who would be OK with that. The lack of parent contact actually makes things easier for the kid and the staff. Parental contact is a trigger for a kid who is pushing to hold it together.. When I camped with young scouts, managing homesickness was Job 1. We restricted phones and usually sent a sympathetic older boy to distract them. 

People look for these camps on a national level. Don't restrict yourself to what's local. Expect to travel to access the best of the class. When DS went to Summit, there were kids who flew in for camp. They do a mini-session, but the kids who do the full 8 weeks get a single parent overnight in the middle. DS did a mini-session going into 4th; his psych really pestered us to send him earlier. In retrospect, he probably would have been fine going into 3rd. 

I think I'm just having a pity party. Folks in my office are all abuzz sharing tips on summer day camps that I can't realistically see DS attending.


LOL, I know. I felt like I was on the outside looking in during DS's junior and senior years while the other parents fussed about SATs, driving, GPAs, prom, campus visits, application essays, and the impending empty nest. I wasn't at that party. I kind of ended up in the same place, minus the fights about the application essays and fees, but at the time it just sucked. 


Also DS has really latched on to this idea that he has autism and therefore above others and he gets to attend special camps. Yesterday he asked me to send him to a new after school program that caters to ASD kids because his current program "isn't conditioned to handle kids with ASD." I asked him why and he replied because they make him eat lousy snacks and they don't have a computer lab. He's not old enough for me to really reason with him, or he just doesn't want to hear what I have to say, so there's no talking him out of his ideas.

Good luck with that. Sound like whatever is being done is protecting his self esteem if nothing else.

DS once told me he "didn't have to be social and outgoing because God made him autistic". I reminded him that "God also made him dyslexic and that it didn't get him out of learning to read- it only made it so we had to find another way to teach him and that he had to work harder at it than other kids." And then I said "Nice try. Sucks to be you". Of course, he was a bit older at the time.