50 Shades of Grey...Thoughts On the Book/Movie

[dmoney]

So I haven't seen the movie yet, but I wanted to hear everyone's thoughts on the book.




A friend posted something on her facebook wall about it and people went up in arms about how he was controlling and Abusive and a horrible person and so on.  (keep in mind these women never read the book just what they have read from other forums). Now I have read the books and granted it was 3 years ago but I do not remember there ever being straight up abuse and rape in them. Sure there were situations where he was controlling, but if she ever used the safe word he would stop, and if he ever hurt her (physically) he would make sure that she was physically okay with it afterwards.  


Just wanted to get everyone's thoughts, and thought it would be a good topic to discuss

[alayne926]

I saw the movie and have read the books.

I agree with you on how people that have not read the books don't understand that there was CONSENT granted to him in the books before anything was done. While I don't feel like this type of lifestyle is for me, there are people who do enjoy that lifestyle, so as long as they are consenting adults, let them be.

Now, there was a news story out of Chicago where a guy was trying to "reenact" the movie and did not have verbal consent, so now he is facing rape and assault charges.

[dmoney]

Lifestyle is 100% not for me either, but I agree with what you said alayne926. If they are two consulting adults then whatever the F they want to do behind closed doors is their own business. I haven't heard about the guy from Chicago, I want to find that article and read it!


BTW how was the movie? I was supposed to see it this weekend and mother nature ruined my plans (yay for the east coast and snow!)

[alayne926]

www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/ct-50-shades-of-grey-uic-sex-charge-20150223-story.html

I honestly wouldn't waste the money to see it in the theaters. It was OK, but the books were so much better.

[dmoney]

wow

[hbanana18]

I don't think the sexual acts are what are causing some people to view his behavior as abusive. I think it is the stalker type behavior, controlling etc. The things I have seen don't even really mention the physical relationship as abusive. More on emotional abuse. I believe that people who have been stalked or controlled are triggered by it being romanticized in the series.

I don't know much about the BDSM world, but I saw many articles on how they are saying this isn't a healthy or accurate representation of BDSM. His control extends beyond the 'scenes' and into her everyday day life.

I thought the books were terribly written personally. The language was repetitive.

This is just my interpretation of the reactions I have read.

[noeliav]

I read Jenny Trout's recaps of the first book and, yes, I think it portrays an unbalanced and abusive relationship. I will not read the books nor see the movie. I think it's appalling that the dominant conversation in the media is all "tee hee hee, sex!" when there is an opportunity to have a much deeper conversation about abuse.

[flbabychin]

I thought the books were kind of a fun, naughty read but would agree that the literary appeal was not there. They used a lot of repetitive language and phrases, but I mostly read them to see what they were all about - not to judge them based on how they were written.

I've seen quite a few of the same kinds of posts that PPs mention - the ones that say that the BDSM lifestyle is not accurately portrayed in the books and movie and borders on abuse. I personally didn't get the abuse vibe from reading them, but again, I don't know that much about the BDSM culture. I am curious to see the movie, but am trying to decide if I want to see it in theaters or just wait for it to come out on DVD.

[belle0720]

I read the first book and barely got through it because I thought it was so horribly written; there was so much repetition!

I also thought the main character was annoying and Christian Grey was way too controlling and stalker-ish.

BDSM stuff isn't for me either, so I really don't understand the hype around the books (or movie).

[billyhorrible]

I read the first book and won't see the movie.

There are two things I think you need to think about:
1) Consent - what is it and who can give it? Let's not forget that "two consenting adults" refers to two persons who are on equal footing in terms of power and responsibility. This is why children can't consent. And why even with "consent" actions can be illegal. (I mean, just look at the Pfizer Trovan trial in Nigeria, or an AIDS clinical study in South Africa where 88% of the women involved felt their hospital care would suffer if they didn't agree to participate). Are Christian and Anastasia on any sort of equal footing?

2) As hbanana18 pointed out, abuse doesn't only equate with physical violence. It can be emotional. And rape is a "sex crime" but is more about power than anything else. Like most forms of abuse. Once again, who holds the power in this relationship? Despite Anastasia's "inner goddess" does she have ANY power?

[erbear]

The books were horribly written and I apparently forgot a lot of them. The movie was one of the worst I've ever seen.

I'm with billyhorrible on this one. I thought the movie tried to mostly downplay the power imbalance, but it ultimately failed.

[cnumbers]

I read the books as an 18 year old. Now as a 20 year old in my first serious relationship with the man I am likely to marry I don't see the same appeal to be honest. I wanted to see the movie as I had taken the time to read the books but it was a let down.. I just.. I was bored. I spent the whole movie texting SO about how silly it was. My mom wanted to see it and no one would go with her so I said I'd go again but I warned her it wasn't great.. She liked it.. Maybe because she's over 50.. I do not know and as someone who has suffered sexual abuse as a child and domestic abuse as an adult which I witnessed I was shocked she liked it!.. It's just not a healthy way to showcase the life style. Speaking of the life style SO parents run various events relating to BDSM.. I don't know much about their business nor do I want too. I would like to try soft BDSM with SO maybe some handcuffs and blindfolds as I'm curious.. I always have been, this isn't in anyway influenced by the books/movies. Honestly I can't believe I made a thread for it.. It wasn't worth my time or money. All in all my curiosity was satisfied and the movie was ok but I felt it was much more controlling onscreen than on page.. I'm not sure how I feel about it all completely yet. Oh well you live and learn

[lalamomma]

I've read the books, I didn't enjoy the writing. Every preview I've seen for the movie makes me want to skip it.
Everyone has a different opinion on the abusive/stalker/BDSM side of it and while I find Christian to be creepy and I certainly wouldn't want to date someone with his behavior (even outside the bedroom) I suppose some people might not mind it in a novel. I guess the problem is when people think his behavior is acceptable or normal.

Some people seem to love the movie but then again some people loved Magic Mike and I thought that looked awful and had no interest in that either. To each his own