N13 one and done-ers question

[pinkaliphant]

I feel this way every time I hear of someone being KU. I think of how little E used to be and just get nostalgic. It makes me sad that it's over and I"m never having a nb again. Then I think I want another even though I really don't. I think we are genetically programmed to procreate so this is natural. What probably makes it worse is thinking of how much you love your LO and how you can have even more....and why wouldn't we have a natural urge to want more of something wonderful?

So to answer your question, I think it's totally natural to feel that way in your heart but have your head to tell you something different. And you are not alone!

[htk1113]

Hugs.

[kim22]

Just being nosy and feel free to tell me to shut up. I have 3 and I am still jealous of pregnant women. I think I might be that way even if I have 10 though.

[cagoldi]

Feb 26, 2015 16:28:35 GMT -5 shanbp said:

I get pangs of jealousy sometimes, too. But then I remember all of our reasons for being OAD and how lucky I am to have even one perfect baby.

Like you said above - it isn't that I necessarily want another baby - I just don't want this one to grow up!!

I do think that being OAD has really given me a different perspective on things that others may find frustrating or irritating. They really don't bother me because I know it is going to fly by and this is my only chance to experience it.

I do. Not. Miss. The newborn stage. At all.

This. Although, technically, we're still fence-sitters. My sheer terror about how awful the NB phase can be and struggling with PPD again are the main areas of concern. I do get slightly jealous about the pregnancy announcements, but more like I wish I could feel like I was in a place to want another than actual jealousy that they are KU. As for guilt about not giving C a sibling, I wouldn't give that another thought. Siblings can learn a lot of bad things from each other, and there is no guarantee they would ever get along. I have four siblings. One I despise, one I like okay, one I love and care for deeply but have to mother a great deal, and one I absolutely adore.

[ljgs1010]

Feb 26, 2015 17:37:52 GMT -5 @mx2 said:

wedding I think theres a difference between wanting to go through a phase again with the kid/s you already have and the feeling like your family isn't complete. I am insanely jealous of people who are pregnant but I also feel like the choice to continue our family growth was taken away from me.

Different situation, but H and I were also fence sitters and then the choice was taken from us by a BC failure. I also used to have pangs when I would see pregnant women at work, but that didn't at all change how terrified I was when I got pregnant.

I love this baby, but having a second when you weren't sure you wanted one is a mind fuck. H and I both lose lots of sleep at night over what this is going to do to our marriage, our finances, and to E. In many ways I feel like it will be harder to enjoy those moment you talk about with 2.0, because we're already so exhausted and stretched thin.

Long story short.....I think maybe the grass is always greener. I feel your pain, and I'm sorry you're struggling with this.

[htk1113]

I typed and deleted a response many times today. I'm on the fence about #2. When Em was under 1 hearing the news my bestie was pregnant with her second gave me such anxiety. Her first is only 5 months older than Em. Now that Em is over 1 I feel a slight pang of envy and desire for #2 when I see my pregnant bestie.
We definitely can't handle the financial strain of a second right now. Also, I love my kid but I still struggle with guilt because 1) There are so many nights I can't wait for him to go to bed and 2) some weekends are just too long. Serious guilt about that confession. It's just harder than I thought and honestly my kid is so easy going. I'm going to re-evaluate in a year or so.

I think the jealousy is totally normal. I'm really glad so many have posted their experiences, it's been an eye opener for me and definitely food for thought. You guys are really great.

[htk1113]

I totally agree with ljgs1010 the grass is always greener.