Im home. (loss)
Feb 26, 2015 21:36:00 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2015 21:36:00 GMT -5
Hi Ladies,
After a terribly stressful week Im back at square one. Last wednesday I had a dating ultrasound. Two empty sacs measuring 5ish weeks when I was supposed to be 8. I knew I couldnt be 3 weeks off because I got my HPT+ january 20th and with a 3 week dating error that would've put me at an O date of only january 29th. I spent the week getting multiple blood draws to the point of my arms bruising.
Approximate betas
thursday 10400
saturday morning 10600
started spotting saturday afternoon so went to er beta 12400
I started wondering if I had a vanishing twin and one was still growing?
beta monday 12600.
My anxiety was getting the best of me, affecting my job and my ability to be a sane parent to my toddler, i went into emerge yesterday. Another u/s showed no growth. Missed miscarriage. My poor babies had left me at 5.5 weeks and my body has failed to notice. I am feeling overly angered and guilty. How can I be so disconnected from beings I am growing that my body is continuing on its merry little way acting like I'm still pregnant.
My d&c is scheduled for tomorrow.
I'ma hang out here and drink until I can hesitantly tiptoe off this bench.
Miss you guys.
eta: i had the worst experience with a male gynaecologist (asshole) in er. He kept repeating failed pregnancy and had no compassion or fucks to give about my loss. he declined giving me a picture of my ultrasound and instead of thinking it may be to keep as a memory he thought i was being a conspiracy theorist and doubting the techs and accusing a misdiagnosed miscarriage. He was also pressuring me into a D&c then and there and basically saying if i chose to miscarry at home the whole god damn world would die from the bleeding i was going to have. I ended up walking out of there and following up with my own ob today.
After a terribly stressful week Im back at square one. Last wednesday I had a dating ultrasound. Two empty sacs measuring 5ish weeks when I was supposed to be 8. I knew I couldnt be 3 weeks off because I got my HPT+ january 20th and with a 3 week dating error that would've put me at an O date of only january 29th. I spent the week getting multiple blood draws to the point of my arms bruising.
Approximate betas
thursday 10400
saturday morning 10600
started spotting saturday afternoon so went to er beta 12400
I started wondering if I had a vanishing twin and one was still growing?
beta monday 12600.
My anxiety was getting the best of me, affecting my job and my ability to be a sane parent to my toddler, i went into emerge yesterday. Another u/s showed no growth. Missed miscarriage. My poor babies had left me at 5.5 weeks and my body has failed to notice. I am feeling overly angered and guilty. How can I be so disconnected from beings I am growing that my body is continuing on its merry little way acting like I'm still pregnant.
My d&c is scheduled for tomorrow.
I'ma hang out here and drink until I can hesitantly tiptoe off this bench.
Miss you guys.
eta: i had the worst experience with a male gynaecologist (asshole) in er. He kept repeating failed pregnancy and had no compassion or fucks to give about my loss. he declined giving me a picture of my ultrasound and instead of thinking it may be to keep as a memory he thought i was being a conspiracy theorist and doubting the techs and accusing a misdiagnosed miscarriage. He was also pressuring me into a D&c then and there and basically saying if i chose to miscarry at home the whole god damn world would die from the bleeding i was going to have. I ended up walking out of there and following up with my own ob today.
