Say it here - Vent thread

[grommom]

I thought we needed a place to get it all out, what can you say here that you can't say to someone's face?

Here's a little background on mine (ps it includes tmi info).  I have been really sick since I gave birth almost 4 weeks ago, I've had a postpartum hemorrhage, UTI, clogged duct, terrible hemorrhoids so I can't just sit around and chat and now have had diarrhea for days.  DH asked his step mom to watch our toddler so that I could get some rest and he could get some of the things done like laundry and paying bills.   She then informed him that I must have postpartum depression and no, she could not help.

Dear DH step mom,
Thanks a lot.  Apparently you are now a Doctor and now that you've determined I'm "no fun" because I don't want to go shopping or wasn't able to sit and chat since you and FIL conveniently took over the entire couch, you're not willing to help.  Classic.  I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt when DH was venting that you only like your grandkids when you're throwing a party and want to show them off, but I'm beginning to realize he was right.


I'm glad that since you're so smart that you've diagnosed me with a serious issue that I coincidentally don't have, that you decided not to help at all.  Nice lady, nice.   If I actually had that serious issue you probably would have plunged me into the depths of despair.  Luckily that's the only postpartum symptom that I don't seem to have and I really feel for those people who do have it.

[wishuponastar]

Sorry you are not feeling well! Hope you feel better soon!

In-laws are a tricky situation. I usually don't have issues with mine- because they rarely talk to us. But I sent out adoption announcements to DH's family. The only response we got was from his aunt- who sent a note (not even a card) which said 'Dear ___ and ____, The pictures are lovely. "DH" when you hold the baby, support his head"
Love Aunt "Judgmental"

Am I crazy or is that insane?

[Deleted]

My grandmother brought out her antidepressant pills and handed them to me, saying "here, to help take the edge off..." and kept asking if I was sure I didn't want them when I refused them. Um. yeah.

[maebb]

DH dropped off / picked up the boys today (the one day per week that he does it instead of me), and he called me at 6:20 furious because I wasn't home yet. I think he thought I had gone shopping or something. No, it's Friday, and traffic was awful. Not my fault.

But also I think it did him some good to be home with both boys for a while. It might help him to appreciate how much work it is.

[grommom]

Feb 27, 2015 15:26:24 GMT -5 wishuponastar said:

Sorry you are not feeling well! Hope you feel better soon!

In-laws are a tricky situation. I usually don't have issues with mine- because they rarely talk to us. But I sent out adoption announcements to DH's family. The only response we got was from his aunt- who sent a note (not even a card) which said 'Dear ___ and ____, The pictures are lovely. "DH" when you hold the baby, support his head"
Love Aunt "Judgmental"

Am I crazy or is that insane?

Omg my aunt is just like this but she's never had kids so is extra judgmental and vocal about what the best way to raise children is. I think that people who've had kids in general know to back off on commenting on your parenting style.

[Deleted]

I really don't like how in this app I try to push this navigation arrow and the advertisement drops down quickly and I get sent to Amazon to look at crap I already looked at but decided not to buy. Sneaky sneaky.

[stephchris0321]

My In-Laws drive me crazy sometimes. Ahhhh!

My mom has been super helpful the past 3 weeks since Carter was born. She stays with us Monday-Friday which is amazing and I appreciate her. I've been trying to figure out how to pay her but she didn't want to talk about it. Well, she had a meltdown with me, DS1 and DS2, at Trader Joe's yesterday. She basically made a scene saying that I'm ungrateful and she's tired and stressed out. She freaked out at me for 10 minutes in the store and she didn't want to accept my apology. Finally, I paid for her groceries and gave her $100 cash and she felt better. I realize that my mom is doing a lot for us but she hasn't wanted to accept payment until that moment. Hopefully we can get a $$ arrangement figured out soon so she feels better about the situation.

[LaBellaVida]

Ugh, wtf kinda shit is that? I'm sorry you've got a mil like that!

[LaBellaVida]

Here's my vent.
Quick background. I was induced with Liam, so contractions legit are no joke! I've had 2 spontaneous labors, and 2 inductions... It feels different. Contractions are more intense having Pitocin. Anyway, I wanted to try and go med free. I went 9 hours without pain medication before I wanted the epidural.

My husband was talking to his mom about my labors (woman in general laboring) and saying how I *or woman in society who get epidurals* can't complain to a man about how tough labor really is. How we can't say they wouldn't be able to tolerate it if they had to go through it, because we woman (me) couldn't go through with it until the end without pain management. Seriously, it's fucking easy for him to say, since unfortunately he'll never be able to experience the pain of contractions! This is coming from the man, who bumped his knee (hard I might add) while I was laboring, and he needed Tylenol to help ease the pain!
I asked what his mom said in response to his ignorance, and he said she agreed with him!
I feel as if he doesn't think I'm a 'real woman' because I wanted the epidural.
I mean, it shouldn't matter, and in my mind doesn't matter how a woman gives birth. In the end, it's all the same, you've got yourself a baby! So why the fuck does it even really matter?

[LaBellaVida]

I've got another one. Yesterday I was telling my H I was going to my friends house on Saturday for wine club. I told him I had a sitter for Owen, so if he wanted to go he could, since he complains about never being able to go. It's a bunch of chick's sitting around chatting taste testing different wines. I only get out to really socialize once a month, unless I go to MOMS on Wednesdays. Anyway, he was complaining that he doesn't have a social life ect. Yet, he has more social life then I do. He has friends at work, they go to lunch all the time, dinner sometimes after work ect. (I understand that yes, he doesn't go out and get away from work stuff) but neither do I! I get to wipe asses all day. Clean up toddler messes. Have conversations with a toddler, or kids in general. He rightfully has more of a 'social' life than I do.
When I told him that he said "I'd love to just sit at home all day and not have to go to work. "
I SIT AT HOME ALL DAY LADIES! What the actual fuck!?
Yet, he's complaining about 'not having a social life'.

His comments lately have been making me ragey! Like who the fuck did I actually marry?

[nachomomma]

LaBellaVida he sounds clueless. First of all, the epidural comment might be the stupidest thing I've heard all week, and I can't believe your MIL agreed with him. Second, does he ever take care of the kids on his own? Sounds like it's time for you to go out with friends and have your cell phone "die."

[LaBellaVida]

Feb 28, 2015 11:47:58 GMT -5 nachomomma said:

LaBellaVida he sounds clueless. First of all, the epidural comment might be the stupidest thing I've heard all week, and I can't believe your MIL agreed with him. Second, does he ever take care of the kids on his own? Sounds like it's time for you to go out with friends and have your cell phone "die."

Yes!  He's had all the kids to himself before and he bitches about how they don't listen,  or they do this or that, or Owen gets into this or that!  Just the other day I was gone for 2 hours getting my hair done.  I came home to chaos,  the house was a mess (I had just cleaned), dinner wasn't started (it was after 6pm) and he had a bitch fit about the kids!  I just said "welcome to what I deal with daily. " He said "it wouldn't bother me if I had to deal with this daily. " 

What the hell?  Why are you bitching? It's only 2 hours!  
I swear he literally thinks I have it made.  And I'm not entitled to bitch and have a break.  In his mind,  I really think he thinks I do nothing.  

[raven]

My vents seem tame compared to what some of you are having to deal with.
This past Monday, DH comes home in the most foul mood, asking why dinner hadn't been made. I explain LO has been up and awake, fussing, and she won't let me put her down. She just wants to be held all day. "Well I've had a bad day at work and I just expected to come home and you have dinner ready for me. What have you been doing all day? What do you do all day, just sit around?"
Ugh, I wish! I'm dealing with a 6 week old baby, dishes, laundry, general cleaning! It's not all rainbows and unicorns like you believe!

[raven]

Another one.
DH agreed to take the MOTN feeding, his first one ever. He asks me last night what time she usually gets up. I say "Usually between 4-5 am. It's really early morning, she barely opens her eyes, and will go right back to sleep afterwards." At 5:30 am, I wake up to her wanting food. I try and poke him, he doesn't get up. Fine. I'll feed her, I have to pump before my boobs explode anyway.
I hear him stirring, and go in the bedroom and mention he didn't get up to feed her like he said he would. His response? "I got up at 4am and she was still asleep."
"No. You get up when she wakes up and is hungry. 4am was just a general time line of when she could possibly wake up."
"Oh." And he goes back to sleep! Seriously dude? I'm starting to question your intelligence.

[3littleones]

Feb 28, 2015 11:54:21 GMT -5 LaBellaVida said:

Feb 28, 2015 11:47:58 GMT -5 nachomomma said:

LaBellaVida he sounds clueless. First of all, the epidural comment might be the stupidest thing I've heard all week, and I can't believe your MIL agreed with him. Second, does he ever take care of the kids on his own? Sounds like it's time for you to go out with friends and have your cell phone "die."

Yes!  He's had all the kids to himself before and he bitches about how they don't listen,  or they do this or that, or Owen gets into this or that!  Just the other day I was gone for 2 hours getting my hair done.  I came home to chaos,  the house was a mess (I had just cleaned), dinner wasn't started (it was after 6pm) and he had a bitch fit about the kids!  I just said "welcome to what I deal with daily. " He said "it wouldn't bother me if I had to deal with this daily. " 

What the hell?  Why are you bitching? It's only 2 hours!  
I swear he literally thinks I have it made.  And I'm not entitled to bitch and have a break.  In his mind,  I really think he thinks I do nothing.  

Sounds a lot like my husband. I've had one med free and two with an epidural and he still tells me that it can't be that bad yet when I was actually in labor he said he has never heard someone scream like that or puke from pain like I did. The big baby can't even put peroxide or rubbing alcohol on a cut without getting tears in his eyes and whining like a little bitch. I let the house go to chaos Monday when I was sick and he came home and asked what I did all day and said nothing since you claim all I do is sit on my ass and am never busy. He'll get the hint for maybe a week.

[lasawyer91]

Your husband are lucky they aren't married to me, because I would kick some asses if they said these things to me!

[tkr7c9]

I went shopping this week for clothes that cover my belly pouch and that I can easily lift to pump when I go back to work next week and are still nice enough for work. I come home and try them all on to show them off to DH and he just starts complaining that the clothes I bough aren't 'me' and that I look like I am trying to be something I am not and that I am trying to cover up....... DUH, the last part is kind of the point and I can't go to work in clothes like I used to wear because I am not a teenager anymore, I am a supervisor and I need to dress the part! At least he liked my new hair color. (A little background: I am a country girl and I used to be in good shape, we met my freshman year of college.... can't look like a redneck at work!)

[lexishay]

My SO's grandmother has been here this weekend and is driving me insane she is such a sweet woman but she acts like everything we're doing is wrong and asks us multiple times if stuff is normal for a baby. Ex is it normal for him to spit up? Are you sure? Are you sure babies spit up this much. Omg he is spitting up again are you sure he's okay. YES HE IS FINE IM SURE. I know how to parent I know my son. Ugh.

[kcrus]

My H cannot diaper the baby to save his life. I can't even explain all the weird ways he has found to put on diapers incorrectly. I know I should be happy he's helping, but I can't take all the blow outs and extra laundry this is creating. I have to break down her bassinet almost every day. For background- this baby is almost 8 weeks old and is our FOURTH child. Like WTF, dude? This isn't your first rodeo. I feel like he's doing it on purpose so I won't ask for his help. He underestimates my resolve, poor bastard.

[grumpycat88]

Feb 28, 2015 18:01:09 GMT -5 lasawyer91 said:

Your husband are lucky they aren't married to me, because I would kick some asses if they said these things to me!

Exactly this.

[grommom]

Feb 28, 2015 20:18:43 GMT -5 kcrus said:

My H cannot diaper the baby to save his life. I can't even explain all the weird ways he has found to put on diapers incorrectly. I know I should be happy he's helping, but I can't take all the blow outs and extra laundry this is creating. I have to break down her bassinet almost every day. For background- this baby is almost 8 weeks old and is our FOURTH child. Like WTF, dude? This isn't your first rodeo. I feel like he's doing it on purpose so I won't ask for his help. He underestimates my resolve, poor bastard.

I've found a diaper put on backwards and the other day dh tried to put the baby's diaper on our toddler who wears a size 5 diaper, while complaining that he's grown too fast. Lol

[3littleones]

Feb 28, 2015 18:01:09 GMT -5 lasawyer91 said:

Your husband are lucky they aren't married to me, because I would kick some asses if they said these things to me!

Truth be told, I tell him off all the time. And I always threaten him. The one that got his attention the most was me giving him a paper cut to the tip of his penis while I was found a MOTN feeding while he blissfully slept. I have my dad putting me down because my husbands perfect and I should wait on him hand and foot because he has stress and I don't. I told my dad to sleep with my husband if he likes him that much and to leave my marriage to me otherwise.

[grommom]

Feb 28, 2015 11:14:12 GMT -5 LaBellaVida said:

Here's my vent.
Quick background. I was induced with Liam, so contractions legit are no joke! I've had 2 spontaneous labors, and 2 inductions... It feels different. Contractions are more intense having Pitocin. Anyway, I wanted to try and go med free. I went 9 hours without pain medication before I wanted the epidural.

My husband was talking to his mom about my labors (woman in general laboring) and saying how I *or woman in society who get epidurals* can't complain to a man about how tough labor really is. How we can't say they wouldn't be able to tolerate it if they had to go through it, because we woman (me) couldn't go through with it until the end without pain management. Seriously, it's fucking easy for him to say, since unfortunately he'll never be able to experience the pain of contractions! This is coming from the man, who bumped his knee (hard I might add) while I was laboring, and he needed Tylenol to help ease the pain!
I asked what his mom said in response to his ignorance, and he said she agreed with him!
I feel as if he doesn't think I'm a 'real woman' because I wanted the epidural.
I mean, it shouldn't matter, and in my mind doesn't matter how a woman gives birth. In the end, it's all the same, you've got yourself a baby! So why the fuck does it even really matter?

You should ask him how he'd like to push a football out of his mouth with no pain medication.

[nachomomma]

Feb 28, 2015 20:18:43 GMT -5 kcrus said:

I feel like he's doing it on purpose so I won't ask for his help. He underestimates my resolve, poor bastard.

Made me laugh, because this is exactly how I would feel. Although I'd probably break down and do a super bitchy remedial diapering tutorial.

[3littleones]

Mar 1, 2015 10:45:15 GMT -5 @bkmama said:

Feb 28, 2015 22:37:52 GMT -5 3littleones said:

And I always threaten him. The one that got his attention the most was me giving him a paper cut to the tip of his penis while I was found a MOTN feeding while he blissfully slept.

... You cut the tip of his penis?? Is that a typo? D:

The threat of giving him a paper cut to the tip of his penis. I would never do it, but he doesn't know that

[nachomomma]

Mar 1, 2015 11:21:35 GMT -5 3littleones said:

Mar 1, 2015 10:45:15 GMT -5 @bkmama said:

... You cut the tip of his penis?? Is that a typo? D:

The threat of giving him a paper cut to the tip of his penis. I would never do it, but he doesn't know that

How would that work? Like logistically? It's making me laugh picturing it.

[Jellypepper]

Dear DS,

No, you may not eat my lunch. I have been offering you food ALL DAY. You have politely and at times, not so politely declined. Then you saw me holding leftover pizza and decided "I want that!" Well, fuck that shit. You may not have it. You may have your leftover breakfast and maybe, just maybe, consider being grateful for it.

Love,

Your hangry mama

[3littleones]

Mar 1, 2015 11:29:19 GMT -5 nachomomma said:

Mar 1, 2015 11:21:35 GMT -5 3littleones said:

The threat of giving him a paper cut to the tip of his penis. I would never do it, but he doesn't know that

How would that work? Like logistically? It's making me laugh picturing it.

Never thought too in depth about this but now that you have me thinking I'd have to hope I get it right the first time and probably during his morning wood time so that way he is least suspecting. Now I'm laughing just thinking about it.