PSA: Expecting Better by Emily Oster (and other book reccs)

[blanche]

I cannot recommend this book enough. I feel like a broken record, but it makes me feel much more informed in making decisions about what I do and don't do in my pregnancy. I feel like I've been mentioning it a lot lately, so figured I'd make a new post about it. Of course its up to each of us, individually, to determine our risk tolerance, but I am a woman of data and statistics and like to know the science behind the strict recommendations around pregnancy. As a summary of the book:

1) Generally, the research on caffeine and miscarriage is confounded by morning sickness. Even up to 4-5 cups of coffee a day is pretty safe.

2) Light drinking in the second and third tri (a small glass of wine a day) is fine. Even a bit is fine in first tri (I personally am choosing not to touch it for the first tri since that's when the neural tube develops)

3) Sushi, runny eggs, etc. are no more dangerous than when you aren't pregnant

4) Rare meat is only an issue if you haven't been exposed to (I'm forgetting the term right now, will edit) toxoplasma before. 

5) Ditto to cleaning the litter box. If you've had the cat for a while it won't be an issue. You're more at risk gardening

6) The lunch meat ban is due to listeria. Sliced turkey and queso fresco are still an issue, but most other things are not. Really, listeria can be in anything (cantaloupe was the last big outbreak)

7) Brie and soft cheese is fine as long as its pasteurized

Those are just the ones on food and stuff. She has other info about sleeping positions and bed rest and other stuff for later in pregnancy, too...





(sorry this posted before I finished!)

[mtnmomma13]

I hope it's ok that I add in a book rec as well! I didn't really read many pregnancy books, but I did read several about breastfeeding. I liked "So Thats What They're For?" and thought it was as helpful as anything can be before you actually try!

ETA: blanche know that the neural tube is closed (or not) by about 6 weeks. So if you want a glass of wine but are worried about the neural tube stuff, you're good to go in another couple weeks!

[blanche]

Feb 28, 2015 22:44:42 GMT -5 mtnmomma13 said:

I hope it's ok that I add in a book rec as well! I didn't really read many pregnancy books, but I did read several about breastfeeding. I liked "So Thats What They're For?" and thought it was as helpful as anything can be before you actually try!

Yes, please do, and thanks!

[USCgirl]

blanche, tell us more! Sounds like a great read! I might have to order it.

Another wonderful recommendation is called "The Consious Parent," which has been a great resource on how to me mindful about raising my baby. It has helped me with not being as frustrated with a toddler.

www.amazon.com/The-Conscious-Parent-Transforming-Empowering/dp/1897238452

[lycih]

There's one I liked during my pregnancy with DD; it's not a totally "when your expecting" kind of book, but I thought it was pretty interesting from a science-y/psychology nerd kind of way...
It's called Origins. Again, it's not going to tell you much in terms of 'eat this, skip that' but it's interesting nonetheless.

www.amazon.com/Origins-Months-Before-Birth-Shape/dp/074329663X

[snoris]

I'm loving all these book recs! I'll definitely check some out. I'm a huge fan of getting lots of perspective and taking the best ideas to form my own. After my loss I found comfort in reading "The Healthy Pregnancy Book" by Sears. For a pregnancy book I thought it was very matter of fact and a little crunchy like me. There was some obvious stuff in there that I skipped, but I'll probably read it again. I also really enjoy reading anything from Ina May. It just chills me out.

[dazdareis]

I'm gonna order it, blanche and give it a go. Being a multiple-loss mom, I'm pretty anal about *everything*. But I would enjoy the prospect of being able to 'cool my Jets' about a few things

I'd also like to recommend a book for AFTER baby gets here. It's "Happiest Baby on the Block". It's amazing and saved me for those first few months

[Deleted]

I'm hoping more people learn about these over-blown phobias. I pretty much ignored all those rules.

[mtnmomma13]

dazdareis yes!! That book was amazing!

[harvestmoon]

I'm reviving this thread for some of the newbies! And to make a recommendation.

For those of you considering/aiming for a natural birth experience. I read and enjoyed Ina May's Guide to Childbirth.

With DD I saw midwives for all my care, but delivered in a hospital setting. Actually, my labor was fairly fast (8 hours), and we were only at the hospital for about 20 minutes before she was born. Most of my labor was handled by the OB on call because my midwife was still in the car driving over!

Anyways, even though I delivered in that setting, by choice, and with an OB I had never met, I still feel that reading the book helped me with some labor strategies and with making it through the worst of labor on my own so that I didn't need any medication once we arrive at the hospital. I was also so far along (10 cm and water broken) that there wasn't any time for them to do any monitoring at all - I basically arrived and started pushing.

Of course everyone's labor and experience is different, but I recommend the book

I also recommend, for the 'naturally' / attachment / positive discipline parenting inclined, to take what you read with a grain of salt. This is what we strive for in our family, but H and I both work, and I have the more demanding job, and I had to learn quickly to not take the tone of some books in this vein to heart, because the solution for issues with breastfeeding, for example, is often suggested as "try to spend more time at home with baby," and other stuff that doesn't come off as very working-mom-friendly.

You can still do, or try to do, this stuff if you want, without taking it ALL to heart. (I BFed DD for 2.5 years, and went back to work full time at 12 weeks.)

Sorry that this got so long!

[frankenboom]

harvestmoon, thanks SO much for bringing this back up. OMG I'm having my first emotional pregnancy moment over book recommendations.

[ladygray]

Love this thread! I'm excited to check out that book, blanche. Another labor book to rec, my favorite is: Homebirth in the Hospital. It helped open my eyes to all my options when in a hospital setting.

[Deleted]

i read a ton of books with my first pregnancy & have read none since!
some were good & some were bad...

For FTM, happiest baby on the block is great- or just get DVD so you DH will watch too.

I really enjoyed reading birth stories, so the Ina May book was great.

I liked happiest baby on the block too.

[tarheelmom]

These are great points blanche -- I hate how many food "myths" perpetuate with regard to pregnancy. Your server shouldn't side-eye you for ordering a coffee, poached egg, rare steak or even a glass of wine! Even some doctor's offices still give out "do not eat" sheets that include items that aren't really off limits with no explanation for why.

There are some additional factors to consider when ordering sushi (high-mercury levels: go with shellfish over tuna) and deli meats (nitrates: eat high-quality/boar's head or local sourced meat & bacon, etc. to minimize nitrate content), but blanket exclusions are ridiculous!

It would be great to have some of these threads pinned so they don't get lost -- do we have a moderator on this board yet?

[jemnj]

blanche sounds like a good book! I didn't follow any of those rules. It only makes you crazier and stressed out. I try to be smart and make good choices. Everything in moderation!

Happiest Baby on the Block and Healthy Sleep, Happy Child are good and helpful reads!

[risscaboobs]

I ordered it. Thanks blanche!

[risscaboobs]

On another note, if any of you have previous children, do you know a good recommendation for parenting from birth on? My husband is asking me for one. He was the baby and has no experience with babies. He's scared. He'll feel better if he can read something about babies and then further on to how to start disciplining, etc.

[ladygray]

What to Expect Your First Year is a thorough, but basic and helpful first year book.

[ladygray]

Discipline books are much more varied and dependent on style. 1-2-3 Magic was my go-to in the toddler years and still use the basic principles today (with my 5, near 4 and 2 year olds.)

[risscaboobs]

Thank you ladygray

[risscaboobs]

Thanks Kem!!

[harvestmoon]

Agree that parenting books will be VERY dependent on your style. Everyone has to do what works for them and their family.

For us, I really like Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline. And Conscious Discipline and the materials on their website.

[squeakyduck]

sassypantzz

[winogirl]

thanks blanche, - ordered!

[lycih]

another not really pregnancy related, but one I found helpful is "one year to an organized life with baby"
I liked the way they organized tasks weekly so they didn't feel insurmountable, and they mixed in baby prep stuff (looking for day care, pediatrician, etc) in with house prep (cleaning out closets, etc) to make room for baby stuff so you didn't feel like everything was just 'clean this, clean that' all the time either.

[marshmallow]

I found The Sleep Lady's Good Night, Sleep Tight really helpful for sleep problems (and it has suggestions on how to teach your little one good sleep habits from the beginning. I know there are very different opinions on sleep, but this one worked well for us. www.amazon.com/Sleep-Lady%C2%AE%C2%92s-Good-Night-Tight/dp/1593155581
I'm going to read it again during this pregnancy as last time I got my son dependent on being rocked to sleep which ended up driving me crazy later.

[kensie5226]

blanche I love Expecting Better. She's great and as a researcher I love having the science behind things. I have had a few sips of MH's beer here and there. Last night I had maybe 3 sips of his beer, and now I feel super guilty and freaked. I'll probably hold off until Ireland (12 weeks.)
I really love having real advice and science based (rather than fear based) reccomendations.

[vancitygirl]

I have The Mother Of All Pregnancy Books (that's the real title) and I got the digital version which is three books in one which is the mother of all pregnancy, baby and toddler in a value pack. The book is written for Canadian moms which is a nice change to read our relevant medical info and standards. I'm not all the way through it but it's pretty awesome. I'm also reading The Happiest Baby on the Block and the stereotype What To Expect When You're Expecting. I will be purchasing Expecting Better upon your recommendations.