I "plan" on having a natural birth this time around. Tried it with my first and asked for epidural when I was at 8 and had her half hour later and I could still feel them on one side. (16hours from start to finish). With my son I was set on having it as soon as I got to the hospital just because I just wanted to relax that time around and it was fine but still felt contractions though not as bad. It just sucked not being able to walk around and such then. (8hours from start to finish). I ripped with my son and needed 1 or 2 stitches and she numbed the area before stitching. I've seen where doctors deliver and just go straight for the scissors and cut without numbing the area first. That doctor I feel didn't give the moms enough time to push and just wanted to hurry it up, he also used the vacuum once.
My doctor said I should plan for a shorter labor this time so I want to try to go natural but I'm scared to get a doctor like the one I mentioned and just cut me.
It makes you sad that some moms aren't into detailed birth plans?
More like the impression I got while reading the thread (which, again, could be me misreading tone via internet) was that some moms are approaching their labor and delivery with an attitude of "whatever happens in L&D is a-okay with me" and not researching the options/possibilities of what their choices are (or having those conversations with their care providers).
I have researched the options and possibilities as well as talked with my OB. She said that I as much as she would like to think she has any control over what happens, it all really depends on what baby is doing.
I just know that there are many possibilities/scenarios but I will be going in informed and will make decisions as they arise. I am not the type of person that needs to write out a detailed plan in order to make decisions once I am in the moment.
Post by tinavonsparkle on Mar 2, 2015 16:14:49 GMT -5
I agree - I have a "plan" and I know what I would like and what I absolutely don't want, ie, certain drugs) but I've been told by midwives/consultants/friends who have had kids & my antenatal yoga teacher alike that plans rarely ever go accordingly and I don't want to get hung up on specifics when it will be out of my control (like an emergency C section).
Ideally I would love to stay at home as long as possible, arrive at hospital at 5-6cms, jump into a pool. Gas & air, good pushing - no tearing - SO cut cord, sisters take pictures then we go home 4 hours later. (That was literally how my sister did it!) That's the dream but I am however open to an epidural if it gets too much.
It makes you sad that some moms aren't into detailed birth plans?
More like the impression I got while reading the thread (which, again, could be me misreading tone via internet) was that some moms are approaching their labor and delivery with an attitude of "whatever happens in L&D is a-okay with me" and not researching the options/possibilities of what their choices are (or having those conversations with their care providers).
I think this is probably what's happening (see bold). I know in my case, and probably for many others, we realize that having a very detailed birth plan could lead to serious disappointments if things don't go exactly according to plan.
I myself am a major control freak. I put a ton of thought and effort into the most ridiculous things (haircuts included), because that's just how I am. And also because those are things I have 100% control over. When it comes to childbirth, we all have our *ideal* situation (see the Beyonce comments back on page 1) but at the end of the day, we are not always 100% in control. I know I would be devastated if I spend all this time coming up with the perfect plan, only to be told at the last minute that the baby flipped or is in distress and I need a c-section.
So even though I've done my research and I'm taking a childbirth prep class, and I know what I *want*, this is something I really want to go into with an open mind. I think at the end of the day, we all have the same goal in mind - which is a safe delivery for baby and mom.
Post by laurenlou83 on Mar 2, 2015 16:36:13 GMT -5
I second what all the other ladies said in regards to "whatever happens in L&D Is OK with me". I have researched a lot... reasons for the OB breaking my water, need for Pitocin, situations that may cause for a CS. I've watched videos on how the epidural is given.
I am a control freak, but I know a lot of those situations are going to be completely out of my hands. I have wants and my OB is aware of them, she also knows I want to be informed of any decisions that are made/need to be made during my L&D. I don't have a written birth plan, but DH is aware of all my wants and I have no problem voicing them as needed to the Dr. and nurses. I just am going into it with an open mind and knowing that not everything may go as planned. At the end of the day, having a healthy baby boy is my only true "plan".
I can't speak for anyone else planning to go med-free, but I can promise you my decision is not due to a hero complex of any kind. And also I'm pretty sure all of us would comply with a c-section should that be necessary. And that all of want healthy babies, and that is our top priority in making our decisions.
Sorry I know this is a touchy subject, but the tone of this just rubbed me the wrong way.
carolyngrace, no need to be sorry! I didn't mean offense by using that particular term, it's just what I've been hearing in my world. "You going to try and be a hero? Go drug free?" and, "No need to be a hero Megs". Seriously, at least 10 times by different family members. Just a phrase in my circle of people I guess.
Also, I know A LOT of moms who - even wanting a healthy baby - were distraught by the need for a c-section. It wasn't a part of what they invisioned the birth of their child to be. Each of us is different and those moms may exist here as well. Personally, I just don't have my heart set on anything specific in terms of how he comes into the world. Zero judgement all around - everyone needs to do what they feel is best for them.
I've heard that from other people, too, about friends being distraught or having "traumatic" births because they ended up getting a c-section. I guess that's what's probably behind most people's attitude of "whatever needs to happen is ok" in this thread. Which I think is what noeliav was picking up on. It's weird.. while I think it's good to be open to everything that can go wrong, I also wonder if there's a line you can cross where you're TOO permissive to whatever the doctor should recommend. Isn't there some degree of determination to have your desires met that is important?
Not saying people need to have a birth plan, I don't know... I guess it's different if you're a STM+ as well, because you know how you'll be once you're in active labor. I feel more comfortable having some strong preferences in place ahead of time because who knows if I'll even be putting sentences together once things get going!
Oh, and some of that was in reply to you, Meg, but some was sort of tangental. Thanks for your kind response!
Well, I don't know about the rest of you bitches, but I'm going to give birth in a mountain top meadow filled with lavender and wild flowers, at sunrise, by a gently babbling stream, with the birds signing, and surrounded by a chorus of monks, chanting softly and levitating just off the ground in a circle around me, and we will have a grizzly bear chew the cord in hopes that it will be come a powerful spirit guide for DS in his life.
Post by leenziepops on Mar 2, 2015 19:47:30 GMT -5
Vaginal at hospital. Hopefully DH is around to drive me. My mum is on standby to come over if I need to labour at home. Hoping to do this med free. My inspiration is my grandma and mum who between the two delivered 13 babies between them vaginally without meds. I would like to have minimal intervention but we'll see what happens. I too would like to look like Beyonce post labour. And then I want to look like Blake Lively 8 weeks post partum.
I'd like a vaginal delivery with an epidural at the hospital, but I am not sure If it will go that way. I have to discuss my hypoglycemia (they may do a c-section so I don't crash) with my doctor more yet.
I'm open for whatever needs to happen to keep myself and my child safe, though.
Hospital birth and will do acupuncture to try induce labor if it's not happening. I've done a lot of research into the outcomes and possibilities but I won't do an actual plan. To be honest I don't know anyone in real life who has done one. I have a great relationship with my doctor and know that she'll only do what's the best for my baby and me, would I love everything to go perfect and to have an easy delivery? Absolutely! But in the end I want whatever I need in order to have the healthiest delivery for me and baby.
But seriously, hospital birth as med free as possible. The only kind of induction I'll accept this time is membrane sweeping and I will adamantly refuse pitocin unless doing so means moving to c-section. No IVs, intermittent monitoring. But mostly I want baby to be born and be healthy so I plan to be flexible where needed.
Whatever gets LO here safely. Hopefully that entails a vaginal delivery without an epi--as I'm unsure medically if I can have one again. Possibly even an elective induction at 39 weeks.
Barring any change in my or the baby's health: Med-free, low intervention vaginal birth. Possibly water birth if at birth center. If not at the birth center, then the hospital. Birth plan from L&D with DD will be updated to add circumcision preferences, but otherwise all will remain the same.
To be honest, this thread makes me a little sad. I feel like some moms have stronger opinions/preferences for their haircuts than L&D. Maybe it's just a breezy tone by the nature of internet communication, and I'm reading too much into it.
It makes you sad that some moms aren't into detailed birth plans?
As a STM, my "lack" of birth plan isn't because I care more about my hair color, but it's the experience of having things NOT go the way you want them to go- I wanted spontaneous, vaginal delivery with delayed clamping and immediate skin to skin. However, I was induced, required vacuum assistance (bc of cord wrapped around his neck), baby was born blue and I couldn't get those last two wants bc his health was more important.
The birthing class I took actually had us do an exercise where they told us to plan out our ideal birth scenario, using 9 note cards. Then they had us flip 5 over that we'd be ok if they didn't go our way. Then they had us flip 3 more over for same thing. The only card left face up for us was healthy baby as the outcome.
That exercise really drove home the most important point of childbirth. I feel like if I hadn't gone through the exercise, I would've been really disappointed in DS1's birth.
Right now my only plan is a hospital birth with a vaginal delivery. And I'd prefer not to be induced this time around. Pain medications I play by ear.
This, exactly.
jcprn, I had an episiotomy due to fetal distress and was numbed up before I started to push in anticipation of vacuum/forceps. Heard the snip which was weird, but no pain, recovery was not bad at all. I've also heard they heal faster than natural tears because it is a straight cut... could by an old wives' tale, not sure.
sidneyvicious, I labored in the tub and it did help. I might have been totally naked... I honestly don't remember if I had a bra on or not, and don't think I cared if the nurse saw the whole shebang given everything else she was seeing. It did help to labor in the tub; I wished it could have been hotter water, but obviously the hot tub rule still applies so the nurse limited how hot I could make it. But it helped me a lot. I also was able to wear a wireless fetal monitor that can get wet in the tub so it was no big deal that way.
mrsdee1982, can I ask why you're limiting fetal monitoring? I don't remember that being a thing to consider with DS1 and am curious as to what I'm missing. Reason being, when DS's heart rate did drop, it was sudden, unexpected, and the response from the medical team was immediate and urgent to the extent that if we didn't know until 10-15 minutes later, I don't know that he would have been alive. Not to be all doom and gloom on you or trying to change your mind, that just surprised me and wasn't something I recall being a choice I knew I had at the time.
It makes you sad that some moms aren't into detailed birth plans?
As a STM, my "lack" of birth plan isn't because I care more about my hair color, but it's the experience of having things NOT go the way you want them to go- I wanted spontaneous, vaginal delivery with delayed clamping and immediate skin to skin. However, I was induced, required vacuum assistance (bc of cord wrapped around his neck), baby was born blue and I couldn't get those last two wants bc his health was more important.
The birthing class I took actually had us do an exercise where they told us to plan out our ideal birth scenario, using 9 note cards. Then they had us flip 5 over that we'd be ok if they didn't go our way. Then they had us flip 3 more over for same thing. The only card left face up for us was healthy baby as the outcome.
That exercise really drove home the most important point of childbirth. I feel like if I hadn't gone through the exercise, I would've been really disappointed in DS1's birth.
Yup, exactly what bendherova said. I had a very similar experience in both the birth and the birthing class exercise, which was helpful, particularly as things did NOT go according to plan.
ladysif, Our plan is to do limited fetal monitoring during the early stages of active labor. I want to be able to adjust positions, walk around, bounce on my labor ball, take showers/baths, etc in the early stages of active labor. That's why I don't want to be hooked up at all times. Now, obviously, if anything looks wonky or weird, or looks dangerous, all plans go out the window. I imagine that once (if) I have an epidural or as labor gets real intense, we will be under constant monitoring. I just don't want to be hooked up and left hooked up from the moment we get there, know what I mean?
ladysif, Our plan is to do limited fetal monitoring during the early stages of active labor. I want to be able to adjust positions, walk around, bounce on my labor ball, take showers/baths, etc in the early stages of active labor. That's why I don't want to be hooked up at all times. Now, obviously, if anything looks wonky or weird, or looks dangerous, all plans go out the window. I imagine that once (if) I have an epidural or as labor gets real intense, we will be under constant monitoring. I just don't want to be hooked up and left hooked up from the moment we get there, know what I mean?
Okay, gotcha. I thought I was missing something major, thanks! My hospital had wireless, waterproof monitors so I guess it wasn't something I had to consider. I definitely wouldn't have wanted to be stuck to the bed the entire time if that hadn't been an option. Thanks for explaining!
I don't believe my hospital has wireless monitor. It wasn't mentioned in the tour, and when I had to go into L&D for monitoring a few weeks ago, I was hooked up to the monitor the whole time. But, if they do have wireless monitors, then I would not be opposed to being monitoring the whole time, as long as I could move around.
This for me too. I didn't want an epidural my first time around, but knew all bets were off when I had to be induced almost 2 weeks late. Ended up getting one, and I'm glad I did. Those pitocin contractions are no joke!
This is EXACTLY why I went epidural the first time. As soon as I heard "pitocin" I asked the doctor for an epidural. He actually laughed and said I should try to hold off, because it could slow things down (since I was 0% dilated and 0% effaced and the kid was up around my neck in terms of descent). However, they ended up starting me on an epidural earlier than "needed" because the pitocin contractions were coming so fast (even though I couldn't feel them) the baby wasn't getting time to recover between contractions.
Uh! Ya! I was induced and supposed to get an epidural but my white blood cell counts were too high.. They said I was probably catching a little cold or something but they refused to give me one. I will be making sure I am healthy before hand as much as I can because ya those pitocin contractions were a freaking nightmare!! Worst pain ever! I dilated from a four to a ten in less then an hour. I don't want to be induced this time around.
As a FTM my dream delivery would be a vaginal birth at the hospital. An epidural sounds lovely if possible. I'd prefer not to be induced, would like to avoid pictocin and am terrified of a c-section.
But when it comes down to it, whatever gets him to us healthy and safe.
If everything goes right I will be doing a scheduled c-section at the same hospital and with the same doctor as I delivered DD.
Part of me is terrified at the idea of going into surgery like that by choice, but the rest of me is concerned about what would happen if we tried vaginal delivery again.
DD was face up instead of face down and they couldn't get her to stay turned with the result that she kept getting stuck in my pelvis. The doctor (whose arm was in my whooha up to her elbow several times trying to rearrange DD) had been adamant that I could deliver vaginally with the next one and kept telling me I was a great pusher but DD ended up with marks all over her face and head from getting stuck and I was exhausted and felt broken down so just...no thanks.
Vaginal delivery at the hospital. Gimmie the drugs! As far as a birth plan goes, the only thing I am really passionate about is that I really really really do not want a cesarean. That being said, whatever happens happens, and as long as I have a healthy baby at the end of it, I'm OK.
If everything goes right I will be doing a scheduled c-section at the same hospital and with the same doctor as I delivered DD.
Part of me is terrified at the idea of going into surgery like that by choice, but the rest of me is concerned about what would happen if we tried vaginal delivery again.
DD was face up instead of face down and they couldn't get her to stay turned with the result that she kept getting stuck in my pelvis. The doctor (whose arm was in my whooha up to her elbow several times trying to rearrange DD) had been adamant that I could deliver vaginally with the next one and kept telling me I was a great pusher but DD ended up with marks all over her face and head from getting stuck and I was exhausted and felt broken down so just...no thanks.
Post by effthisnoise on Mar 4, 2015 12:30:29 GMT -5
I want a vaginal birth at the hospital, with an epidural. No induction or episiotomy unless medically necessary, not just for convenience. Immediate skin-to-skin and breastfeeding. If I have to have a C-section, I'd rather it be scheduled because the baby is breech or something. I've heard that recovery time after a C-section is worse if you labored for a long time beforehand. Almost like you have to recover from the surgery and the vaginal birth that you didn't have.
My wants are to have a vaginal, med-free birth in a hospital. Of course, I am open to other possibilities should the need arise, but I am hoping that my body will naturally go into labor and progress without many interventions. I would also like delayed cord clamping, would like cord cut by DH, and skin-to-skin afterwards so baby can BF on his terms. When the time comes, I just want a healthy baby and baby may have different plans than me, so I am working on reigning in my Type A personality and being flexible.
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