N13- Am I an asshole?

[xolastunicornxo]

Ok, here's the story. We live on a street thats a few houses down from a corner. It's a nice, quite family neighborhood, but people are always coming around that particular corner way too fast, especially since we have a lot of kids playing outside on our street. Anyway, today I was outside with my kids while they played with a few other neighborhood kids. Everyone was probably 6 years and under and there were several parents outside while the kids rode bikes, pulled wagon, scooters etc. We've all gotten in the habit of waving at people to slow down when they come around the corner to fast, or calling out "slow down, please!".

A woman came around the corner, and while she wasn't speeding she was going pretty fast (it seemed to me) and she really didn't slow down when she saw all the kids. (when I see kids playing in the street I stop to a crawl to make sure I can see where everyone is). Anyway, as she passed a waved but also called out "please slow down!" She stopped her car in the middle of the road and came up to me and yelled at me that she was going the speed limit and if my damn kids couldn't get out of the road fast enough it wasn't her problem. I was pretty stunned that she was yelling at me and she stormed back to her car and drove off.

Now I'm having all kinds of anxiety because, truthfully, she was right. She wasn't going over the speed limit, but on the other hand she was going fast around a corner with a lot of kids playing. I wasn't trying to be a jerk, we all just try to remind people to slow down (regardless of the speed limit) when the kids are out playing. I don't like confrontation and now I feel awful about the whole thing.

TL;DR am I an asshole for telling her to slow down because i was worried about the kids, even if she wasn't technically speeding? 

[htk1113]

I don't think you were being an asshole. She overreacted. She was an asshole for yelling at you and saying that it wasn't her problem if your kids couldn't get out of the way fast enough. That pissed me off to hear.

Also, your neighborhood has made it a priority to remind everyone to be cautious when the kids are playing. I think your neighbors would support you on this.

Sorry you're having such anxiety.

I would have anxiety about this too. You didn't do anything wrong or rude.

[mamasoup030]

You are not an asshole, but she is. I'm sure that would be a great defense, I'm sorry judge, the kids just didn't get out of the way fast enough.

[xolastunicornxo]

Thanks guys, you're making me feel much better! I just hate situations like that and my stomach has been in knots all night. I wish I'd processed the situation quick enough to explain to her why we were asking her, and everyone, to slow down at that corner regardless of the speed limit.

[xolastunicornxo]

vinolove another neighbor and I are thinking of getting one of those signs. I agree sometime they seem kind of obnoxious, but if they'll make people aware of the kids out I think they are worth it!

[trtlcrzy]

I can't believe that she said that to you. She seriously would hit a kid in the road if they didn't move fast enough? If I ever met that lady I have a few choice words for her. I think it's fine what you did. It's not like you yelled anything rude, heck you even said please.

[housewifehair]

No way! You were not an asshole AT ALL. It's common sense that you slow down whenever kids are present, at least to me.

Also, such nice language for her to use with kids around to hear. No more anxiety over an inconsiderate ding bat.

[mskatiep]

No, you are certainly not the asshole in that situation. She sounds like a horrid person to even allow those words out of her mouth. She is in control of at least 2 tons of vehicle, she a responsibility to make sure she doesn't hurt anyone with it. Slowing down around children is common sense, kids can be so unpredictable!

[xolastunicornxo]

mskatiep exactly! Kids are unpredictable, and these we're all little kids! Not 8,9,10 years... 3,4,5 years! All the parents were moving them to the side but the are slow and get confused/distracted!

[cagoldi]

Not an asshole. She's a jerk for talking to you like that, especially in front of the kids.

[keight38]

I'm with you. I live in a large neighborhood with a lot of kids and a lot of turns. I literally stop my car if there are kids around until I can assess where all of them are. It has always made me ragey when people drive fast in neighborhoods. It's so unnecessary and reckless.

[Deleted]

You are totally NOT an ass hole. We live on a street with tons of kids and I would do the exact same thing. Just because she was driving at or under the speed limit doesn't mean she wasn't going to fast. Certain circumstances, like kids playing, call for slowing down to an even lower speed. She is ridiculous for getting out of the car and yelling at you.

[ljgs1010]

Not an asshole. It's fine that she was going the speed limit, but if there were kids playing I'd want someone to give me some advance warning so that I don't risk hitting them!! I would have been thanking you for the heads up.

[wineallthetime]

Wow, what a bitch! Not an asshole at all. However, maybe letting kids play in the street isn't the best idea with careless drivers going around the corner?
With that being said, kids are unpredictable and may run into the street at times, so those people need to be more careful! I go sooooo slow when kids are around.

[Cherhorowitz]

Do you remember my neighbor? She tried to kill me because of a similar situation. You're not the asshole here.

Assholes are the ones who drive like a bag of dicks.

[mishkaroni]

Mar 4, 2015 22:38:30 GMT -5 mamasoup030 said:

You are not an asshole, but she is. I'm sure that would be a great defense, I'm sorry judge, the kids just didn't get out of the way fast enough.

These we were my first thoughts as well. My gut reaction would've been to gut punch her. How nice of her to go the speed limit but I'm pretty sure you're still supposed to slow your ass down when turning a corner, not to mention when kids are around. Bitch.

[untaggablekatie]

Not an asshole.

You simply asked her to be more cautious by watching her speed when children were/are present.

[Guster]

Not at all. What you asked for was completely reasonable. Her reaction is bizarre to me.

[xolastunicornxo]

Thanks guys! I was really upset about this last night, but I feel much better now! I hate that I had a confrontation like that with a neighbor, but the bottom line is there were kids and she needed to be aware!

[trtlcrzy]

Mar 5, 2015 19:42:59 GMT -5 Sunny41 said:

Mar 5, 2015 19:11:54 GMT -5 shanbp said:

The speed limit is the MAX you are allowed to drive under ideal conditions. You're supposed to monitor the conditions and your surroundings and slow down accordingly.

Actually in Arizona the posted speed is not the max. One of the things I miss about that state! Can I get an amen AZ sisters? (Paging cgmb‌ since I haven't seen her in a while)
But in a neighborhood reasonable and prudent would be to go slower

Then what is the speed limit that's posted? Isn't that what it means? The limit you can go?

[rztrumpet]

Answering the original question, I think you were fine. She's the jerk!

My neighborhood recently had a huge email chain about "speedy" drivers. I do think that some people get too worked up about it (the speed limit is 25, people were saying that it should be 15 - I even got a stern look from someone because I was going 17 in a non-kid-populated part of the street - I slow down near the play ground and open spaces). But in general, I think it is always better to err on the side of safety!

[xolastunicornxo]

Sunny41 I have never heard about that!!! how weird. So what's with the speed cameras then? Couldn't i just argue I was going a reasonable speed?

rztrumpet In general, I think I may have overreacted a bit, she wasn't going 50 or anything. But the speed limit in our neighborhood switches between 35 and 25 and regardless if she was only going 25, she was coming around a blind corner. The thing that really irritated me was that it was obvious there were small children in the street trying to get off and she really didn't slow down and evaluate the situation. Like others said, kids are unpredictable. I agree I think 15 as a general speed limit would be overkill, but I would be on board with a 15 speed limit if kids are out playing…. I don't know something along the lines of stopping when they are in a crosswalk. I probably overreacted a bit, but she reacted badly.

And somebody mentioned not letting the kids play in the street (I can't remember who, sorry!) I get that. It's taken me until the last month or so to start letting my kids play out front and go off the sidewalks. But in AZ we have desert landscaping in our front yard, so it's not like they have a lawn to play on and a lot of the ones between 3-7 are learning how to ride bikes and scooters and that's hard to do keeping them contained to the sidewalks. We set boundaries for them and make sure they don't get too close to the corner. We also always have one parent that stands right in the middle of the road to keep an eye on everything and make sure drivers are seeing the kids.

[rztrumpet]

Oh, don't worry - I agree with you! I didn't think you overreacted she was definitely the crazy one

[LizInFL]

I'm late to this party, but I would have done the same thing! Sounds like the lady knew she was in the wrong and just got defensive.

I am really careful about my speed when driving in residential areas...I cannot count the number of times I've slowed when seeing kids playing in yards, etc., and then watched as a child came into the road to retrieve a ball or something without even looking for traffic.