Anyone using a nanny?

[Deleted]

We have a nanny who works Monday-Friday 8am-530pm watching DS in our home. Once we have the baby she' ll be able to stay on and watch both of them.

I put the word out to friends that we were looking for a nanny when I was in the third tri, but I didn't actually start interviewing until DS was 2 months old. She was recommended through a friend of a friend.

About 2 weeks before I returned to work we did a few test run 1/2 days of me being out of the house w her watching him to see how he liked her and also to make sure it wasn't a complete shock for me to be away from him for 8 hours straight. The first week I returned to work was so hard being away from him! But it did make it easier knowing how well they got along.

Let me know if you have any other questions!

[leenziepops]

I heard this woman was pretty good: Hehehe

[mcp6286]

I'm using a nanny. I'm starting to set up interviews now. Finding my candidates on care.com since I always found great families there when I was a nanny. I'm looking for someone who has experience with infants and sleep training, supports our philosophy on discipline, and has references attesting that she engages and plays with the kids all day. We'd also prefer someone older (35+) if possible. We'll see how it goes!

[Deleted]

We considered getting a nanny, but between my parents and my MIL we have childcare taken care of. When we WERE trying to figure it out, we asked around for recommendations. I would not go through craigslist. For every good nanny on CL, there are probably 200 crazies. I know someone who went through Care.com and found a good nanny.

[baytosa2013]

We are not using a nanny but my SIL is a nanny and she went through care.com and ended up with a great little family.

[mrskblack11]

Not yet. I work from home so I can take care of baby while I work. Next year during our peak times I will have to have a nanny at least some of the time. So I am not looking into it at the moment.

[suzysurparis]

We'll be using a nanny because the only daycare for my town is completely full and doesnt take children as young as ours will be when their year begins. I've started asking the French offices that manage tax-deductible nannies for a list of the local ones and their phone numbers. I might try some local websites too.

[jcprn]

I think we'll be covered for childcare with my mom and maybe occasionally my MIL. But a coworker of mine found someone that they LOVE on care.com. Definitely worth checking out as PP have said.

[belle0720]

I'm not sure whether we'll be using a nanny or daycare, but I've been looking at Care.com. We're going to need someone at least twice a week for about 8 months until my mom retires and is able to watch LO for us on those days.

[beersandweirs]

I am glad to hear so many of you recommending care.com, I will definitely look into them!

[mrskblack11]

Mar 5, 2015 11:09:40 GMT -5 @demanda88 said:

Mar 5, 2015 9:16:29 GMT -5 mrskblack11 said:

Not yet. I work from home so I can take care of baby while I work. Next year during our peak times I will have to have a nanny at least some of the time. So I am not looking into it at the moment.

So I'm going to be working from home too (I already do this somewhat frequently) and everyone is assuring me that I absolutely will not be able to deal with a 3.5 month old and get work done at the same time. I'm not sure whether this depends on the baby or not, but I would like to give it a try for the first few weeks at least and then hire a nanny when I would actually need one.

I work on political accounts so my odd years are very easy and there are plenty of days that I won't have any deadlines. Even years are a whole other story and I will be glued to my desk 9-10 hours a day during the election cycle. I purposefully tried to get pregnant so that the baby would be born during an odd year so I knew I could take it easy and be able to take care of him. But next year, I will definitely need some help. 

[Deleted]

I'm planning to use care.com as well as friend referrals. Everyone I've talked to says you really can't start looking until you are ready to hire since people are most likely looking for a job that starts immediately.

Our plan is to start looking in late July, and hopefully have someone start in mid-August a few days a week to get used to everything, and then full time in September. I plan to work from home 2 days a week but will still have the nanny full time on those days, just a few hours less. Ideally I'd love to find someone who will also do grocery shopping, is infant CPR certified and has their own safe car, but I'm not sure this unicorn nanny will exist.

[mcp6286]

Mar 5, 2015 11:13:30 GMT -5 @demanda88 said:

Mar 5, 2015 8:28:14 GMT -5 mcp6286 said:

I'm using a nanny. I'm starting to set up interviews now. Finding my candidates on care.com since I always found great families there when I was a nanny. I'm looking for someone who has experience with infants and sleep training, supports our philosophy on discipline, and has references attesting that she engages and plays with the kids all day. We'd also prefer someone older (35+) if possible. We'll see how it goes!

I'm glad so many people have recommended care.com. The nanny agency I was looking into looks extremely pricey because of all the commissions & fees they charge. Are you able to hire a nanny within the next couple of months & have them start in September or October? It would be so nice to line one up in advance but I'm worried they'll find something else in the meantime & I'll have to start over again.

Yes absolutely! I always signed a contract with my families so that both I and they were committed. I also went over for weekend babysitting or just to hang out in the interim so that we didn't lose touch. If you want to see my standard contract, I'm happy to email it to you. Just PM me if you want it. I compiled it using the contracts from the first two families I worked with. My nanny won't start till late Aug but I'm asking that she be willing to come over and spend time with us at least three times btw delivery and her start date.

[Widget123]

Some unsolicited thoughts for anyone who wants to read it. From my personal experience relying on family for childcare is worse than relying on a complete stranger. I thought having my SIL watch DD was a great idea as she has a DD who is 1.5 years older and her other kids were already in school full time. Yeah, not so much. It was getting to a point that we were starting to resent eachother and it was affecting our relationship. Ever since we started DD in daycare full time DD and us have been so much happier. MIL is retiring in June, she didn't offer and we didn't ask, but if she did I would never consider sending DS or DD to be watched by her for more than an hour or a two at a time... at least not until they are at least 4. She is so delusional when it comes to small children... what to feed them, how to change a diaper, etc. Plus she loves to drink wine all day.

Next thought, I am one of those people who think people who plan to take care of their newborn while they work full time are naïve. DH's friend's wife just had a baby in February and DH's friend thinks he will be able to work full time and take care of the baby when his wife goes back to work as a teacher at a school. DH's friend does some kind of accounting software translation service for small companies, but even with a job like that I think he has no idea what he would be getting into and I don't think him doing "double duty" will ever last. Especially given this guy's personality.

[mcp6286]

I can tell you that having been a nanny, it is much easier to go hourly. That way, if either you or the nanny cancels a day of care, you can easily recalculate the amount owed. My rule was that if I canceled care due to sickness or took a day off, obv the family didn't have to pay me but if they canceled a regularly scheduled day, I still charged for it. I have a spot on my contract where the nanny and family can agree in advance on unpaid times off (for example, my first mom was a teacher so she filled in all her days off plus their planned vacation during the contract dates). So basically I worked at an hourly rate but with a minimum number of hours per week. I'm planning to pay my nanny $12/hr and then raise the amount as I have more kids and they get older.

I had a horrible family the first time around who quoted me 45 hours per week at an hourly rate but canceled all the time so many weeks I only worked like 15 hours. I couldn't pay my bills! When I told them I thought it was unfair, they said I should have put it in the contract. So as I look for my nanny, I'm trying to be sure that I let her know that if she is great and things go well, I'll treat her really fairly and give her some perks when I can. Things my current family has done for me that I really appreciate: they gave me 5 paid sick days even though I didn't ask for them, they'll regularly cut my hours a little and pay me for the whole day anyway, they gave me a week's pay as a bonus at Christmas, they give me money every week so the kids and I can go out to lunch/get ice cream/Build-A-Bear/etc once or twice.

[Deleted]

Thank you for sharing mcp6286 !That is all really helpful!

[sayastar]

This is a useful thread. I join those who are reassured that care.com is a valid resource, since I also had no other ideas on where to start. (All my friends with kids are stay-at-home moms, and have offered no suggestions and lots of horror stories... not super helpful.) We need a full-time nanny for probably 9-10 hours a day, 4-5 days a week. Leaving our baby with a stranger for that long is overwhelming and terrifying, but I feel more comfortable with a nanny in our home than a daycare center. Have not started looking for one, since we don't need her until September and that seems early. Probably once baby arrives, I'll start looking.

We're planning to go with an hourly rate, since we don't know how many hours we'll need each week. A set minimum, of course, then possible overage as necessary. My main hope is that I find someone who is flexible and can stay late if DH and I both get stuck at work. I know we'll have to pay for that benefit and we're willing to do so.

Any suggestions from those of you who have used or been nannies in the past--any good way to discuss overtime up front? It's not something we want to do often, since I know the nanny will have her own family/personal obligations in the evenings, but we both work about an hour away from home and might get stuck either with non-negotiable deadlines, traffic disasters, etc. I don't know if bringing that up is an immediate turn-off for most nannies, or if they might like the chance for some overtime pay?

[mcp6286]

sayastar I always appreciated when families told me things like that up front, because I tutor two evenings per week and cant stay late those nights. I left it up to them to decide if that was a deal breaker or not (my last family's grandparents live 10 mins away so for them it was fine). My boss told me up front that they paid time and a half for any OT worked and that they round up to the nearest full hour. For me, that made it worth it even though I don't prefer to work late. Knowing I'd be fairly compensated and that they respected my time stopped it from being a dealbreaker. So I'd tell candidates up front. The right one will be ok with it.

[mcp6286]

Mar 5, 2015 15:45:02 GMT -5 @demanda88 said:

This has been really helpful. I'm definitely bookmarking this thread to use when I start my search.

Now to decide whether or not a nanny share is going to work or if I'm better off just having my own....

Just be careful with whom you nanny-share. My favorite family hired me for their kids, then the husband's sister asked if she could also bring her kid as a nanny share situation. I was fine with it and increased my rate just a little, but it turned out to be really stressful for both me and the original family. Kati, the lady who hired me, got home at 4:00 and her SIL was supposed to pick her son up by 4:15 when I left. The SIL would randomly text me to tell Kati she wasn't coming till 5:00, or tell me that she had no food so her son could just eat whatever Kati's kids ate, or she'd bring him over sick and infect us all. She was nice, just unreliable and not very thoughtful. Then she almost dropped out of our agreement halfway thru the year cuz she got mad at Kati over smthng, she'd forget to pay me...the list goes on and on. Not fun for Kati (with whom I am still very close friends) or for me.

That being said, I may nanny-share with my BFF this year. It can be great, as long as you trust the other family and know they won't drive your nanny to quit. If I didn't like Kati and her kids so much, I would have.

[sayastar]

Mar 5, 2015 15:50:09 GMT -5 mcp6286 said:

sayastar I always appreciated when families told me things like that up front, because I tutor two evenings per week and cant stay late those nights. I left it up to them to decide if that was a deal breaker or not (my last family's grandparents live 10 mins away so for them it was fine). My boss told me up front that they paid time and a half for any OT worked and that they round up to the nearest full hour. For me, that made it worth it even though I don't prefer to work late. Knowing I'd be fairly compensated and that they respected my time stopped it from being a dealbreaker. So I'd tell candidates up front. The right one will be ok with it.

That makes sense. mcp6286, thank you so much for your advice! We'll probably make a similar offer regarding overtime.

[carolyngrace]

Widget123, My sister worked FT and cared for her first son (mixture of home and office work) until he was 6 months. But he was a "good" baby and would nurse constantly if she needed him to be quiet. He's still introverted and calm. She tried with her 2nd baby and even at 2 months it was too hard! I agree that working with a baby almost never works. I bet it's even harder for dads (who can't BF on demand if needed)

@demanda88, You probably COULD find a nanny now for the fall, but IMO the best time to look would be mid/end of April. At that point people are thinking about the fall more and know their availability. I feel like it can be hard to plan too far ahead with childcare because families (and nannies) are constantly re-evaluating their needs. That's from my experience nannying anyway.

[carolyngrace]

If I work PT I'm hoping to find another mom who works PT and exchange days of childcare.. If I end up working FT I will be looking to nanny share with someone. Having nannied for years before becoming a mom, it's definitely my preference! DH and I can probably arrange our schedules either way so we only need 5/6 hours/day of care, so I think we can swing it financially....

[Deleted]

Mar 5, 2015 12:10:28 GMT -5 @ktpatter said:

I'm planning to use care.com as well as friend referrals. Everyone I've talked to says you really can't start looking until you are ready to hire since people are most likely looking for a job that starts immediately.

Our plan is to start looking in late July, and hopefully have someone start in mid-August a few days a week to get used to everything, and then full time in September. I plan to work from home 2 days a week but will still have the nanny full time on those days, just a few hours less. Ideally I'd love to find someone who will also do grocery shopping, is infant CPR certified and has their own safe car, but I'm not sure this unicorn nanny will exist.

A proof of Infant CPR certificate and having a safe car and infant seat was a prerequisite in our interview process. I would definitely not back down on those two things!

[Deleted]

Mar 6, 2015 0:48:08 GMT -5 @demanda88 said:

Mar 6, 2015 0:14:59 GMT -5 @poppyc8 said:

A proof of Infant CPR certificate and having a safe car and infant seat was a prerequisite in our interview process. I would definitely not back down on those two things!

Infant CPR, first aid training, and proof of an update to date Tdap and current flu shot will be my requirements. I want them to have their own transportation but I'm not okay with a nanny driving my baby around, so I don't particularly care about the infant car seat. I plan on having them stay at the house, in the backyard, or walking to the local park.

Agree! The only reason our nanny drives DS is because we live in the least walkable mountain community and our house is built on a hillside w the steepest back yard ever. So she drives him to our local park and grocery store.

[mcp6286]

@demanda88, for me personally, I always told families that I was ok with them withholding taxes BUT I would charge a couple dollars more per hour in order to compensate for the loss. The problem for the nanny is that, until you are an independent contractor in the same business for more than 2 years, you can't use the income for anything anyway. So for me, since I wasn't planning to nanny long-term, it wouldn't do me any good to be able to prove my income, because I couldn't use that to get a car or mortgage or credit cards anyway. You may want to look for someone who is a career nanny...I have a feeling they'd be more open to having taxes withheld.

[tatersalad]

Good call @demanda! I'm looking for someone to do part time this fall and hoping to get a college student from the private university we live a few blocks from. Will think about putting up a post now...

[carolyngrace]

Thanks for the reminder! Another mommy-friend and I are going to try and get a nanny together. She has a 2 & 3 yo, and mine will be 3 months, so it's a BIG job. But together we can pay super well and hope to find someone good!