To those with small children while pregnant

[alayne926]

I only have one, so nowhere near the chaos that you probably get. The only thing that works (50% of the time) is giving him warnings that we're going to leave soon. If we're playing, I tell him, 3 more times down the slide, 5 more pushes on the swing, etc. He will fight sometimes, but usually he comes while pouting.

The other night we went to Chick-fil-a, and he wanted to play in the play area SO bad, but there were too many big kids there. I thought for sure we were going to have a meltdown that would end in DH carrying him out screaming. However, explaining that there were too many big kids and we would come back another time simmered him down to just whining a little.

[trixi282]

I have to do what alayne926 said and "prep" my 2.5yo for when we're almost done. She knows what it means when I say "ok we have to leave in 5 minutes" and then again at 2 minutes, and then say "ok, last time, then we have to go"

She certainly tries to say "one more" after her last time but I just have to be firm with her. If I have to grab her arm and pull her to get her coat on or whatever, then I do. She does still throw a fit sometimes, but it's more tears while complying than physically fighting me, which she has done before.

It's really hard sometimes, and must be more so with 2 that are retaliating.

Do you have consequences set in place if they don't listen? Like that they can't do something when they get home or play with a certain toy?

[wegrowsheep]

Mine are almost 4, and 5 1/2, but SIL has 4 under 6 and one on the way. Stick to your word, and drag them away if necessary. A stroller or wagon may help. I have wrestled DD into the carseat at that age... After a couple outburts that didn't end their way, they improved.
Remember that tantrums happen at this age, and they are a reflection of age, and not your parenting. Resist the urge to scream, because they usually don't hear it. I try to be firm and upbeat, ie "All done with this, now it's time for fill-in-the-blank!" Also, try doing some outings when you have help to back you up (DH, mom, MIL, etc).
And just think of what age they'll be when LO is going thru this, it gets better!

[lalamomma]

I have a 3 year old and I also prep her that we will be leaving soon. If she is still not happy about it I try to remind her if something fun about our next stop. Something like "don't forget when we get home you can play with candy land " or something like that. It gives her something to be happy about and look forward to. It's so hard to reason with them, and I'm sure more difficult with two who probably feed off each other.

[ladysif]

It is a rough stage, I get it. If anyone has a miracle child that doesn't do this at this age, they could make millions with a tutorial. I only have one 2yo but he definitely has his days. I have become firmer with him in that I have (though rarely) turned around and left before the end of whatever it is that we're doing. Sucks when you pay money for the class/whatever, but the lesson does have an impact. Depriving him once of the hand stamp at the end of classes worked wonders, too, and he remembers that and it is useful as a reminder "no hand stamp if you throw things" etc. I do the 5 minute warning thing too but there are just days where nothing works.

Are you in a cold climate, that they're getting stir crazy not being able to go outside? I've been dealing with that, it is just an excess of energy that goes downhill fast if I don't remedy it. So I've been sucking it up and paying for the open gyms to just get him out and run around. It does make for a better day for us both.

Don't give up on taking them out. I'm of the camp that if you do, it will only be worse, longer, because they aren't having opportunities to learn. People expect it of this age so even though it is frustrating as hell and embarrassing for you, everyone else has been there too. Just do what you need to do to get a break when you get home and remember that you're only like 3-4 months away from a tall glass of wine!

[PurpleIris]

One thing I found that helped around that age was to set a timer on my phone (I'd pick a silly ringtone for it too). I'd tell him "there are 5 minutes on the timer, when the alarm goes off it's time to go". He didn't argue nearly as much, it was like the "rule" that once the timer went off we left and he couldn't argue with an inanimate object.

[ladysif]

Mar 6, 2015 12:22:27 GMT -5 @jemomma said:

ladysif - yes we are in a cold climate, usually in the 20's or teens this time of year. There are so many indoor gyms and activities offered in our county, its great!

They are usually so well behaved while are there - sharing with others, being polite, etc. Its just when we leave that's the issue. Its hard to give immediate punishment also since we are just going to the car and we generally just go home after we leave. But by the time we get home they are usually OK and have forgotten that they've done any wrong. I know its just a phase, but if I can do anything to make it better I will.

Definitely looking forward to a big glass of one at the end of my days!

I love the timer idea, too, PurpleIris. I'll have to try that. DS doesn't fight me as much either when I say "the gym is closing, we have to leave" or "Miss-So-and-So-Who-Works-at-the-Gym need us to leave, she said it is time to go home" - similar to using the inanimate object but probably not as good because I'm essentially blaming someone else. Ha. Works when he asks to drive to wherever we're going, I just say "the police officers won't let you drive yet, sorry!" (going to be a loooong 14 years until he gets his driver's license at this rate...) 

[Widget123]

DD seems like she is getting worse by the day, and she isn't even 2 yet. I Practically have to drag her out of daycare kicking and screaming. The problem with her is she isn't old enough to be bribed or reasoned with yet. So no suggestions, just my sympathies.

[tatersalad]

I feel your pain. I only have one, and he's 2 1/2, but now that I'm too big to toss him over my shoulder and carry him very far I dread any type of public meltdown. We have been doing lots of public time outs in restaurants and I'm not afraid to bribe him with candy or balloons for behaving. I might have to try the timer instead of bribes.

[tulips114]

I feel your pain too. We were just at the grocery store and the girls were terrors. They get a reward for good behavior at the store, which is a sticker and allowed to play one of the games at the entrance. They haven't earned their reward in weeks.

As far as transitions go, I agree with the timer suggestion. We use a timer for almost every transition (playing outside to coming in, playing after dinner to time clean up, doing whatever to nap time). It helps for sure! They ask for it now. If I say, 'it's time to clean up'. They say, 'set the timer'. So I give them 2 min on the timer and then they usually comply

They're toddlers. It's what they do. I try to remember that the best thing to do is reward good behavior and ignore the unwanted behavior as much as possible. This too shall pass!

[honeybunches101]

I have definitely been bribing a lot lately! Usually it is something small - when we get to the car, you can play with the truck you left there or new book or whatever is in the car or what we are planning to do when we get home. But I am pretty lax with screen time and treats, so I use those too. I am usually trying to keep him awake in the car when we are leaving a morning activity, so a cookie or the iPad really kills two birds with one stone. I have tried leaving early, but DS seems to have no recollection of that kind of thing and it doesn't impact his behavior next time.

Oh, and I have definitely had to drag him kicking and screaming, I can't imagine doing it with two, hope it gets easier!