Crazy Conversation Today
Mar 9, 2015 0:33:47 GMT -5
Post by Captain Serious on Mar 9, 2015 0:33:47 GMT -5
Most of you know my story, at least in part. My husband and I adopted our oldest son, M, from Peru at age 7 in 2010. While we were there, we met my younger son, J, who was 5 years old. We adopted him two years later (the third anniversary of his adoption is Monday!), when he was 5. We are planning to make a major lifestyle change this summer when my husband quits his job and we move from NJ to VT, and I go back to work. We are very excited, but also very nervous about everything coming together. While the boys have adjusted wonderfully, we have had our share of crazy, bumpy times, and we are looking forward to our new start.
Now, some of you who have known me a long time may also remember that I have had yet another Peruvian sweetheart on my mind for a long time. She has very severe special needs, though, and while my husband and I would like to somehow sponsor her, we don't feel capable to committing to parent her at this time.
Fast forward to a the last few weeks. J has been asking a lot of questions about whether or not we'll have another child in Vermont. He has mentioned a few times that he thinks he wants a younger sibling, by birth or adoption.
At this point, my husband and I are pretty much of the mind that we don't feel the need to try for biological children, but we've never ruled out the distant possibility of more children or foster children in the future.
I've been saving all the boys' outgrown clothes to ship to the orphanage in Peru, but to my great dismay, I found out that shipping used clothes to Peru is illegal. We mentioned it to the boys, and told them we'd find someplace more local to donate the clothing. M was surprised to find out that there might be anyone in the US who might need the clothes. I explained that there are definitely people in need in the US, and while he is somewhat sheltered from it here, that doesn't mean the need doesn't exist. I explained the difference between foster care and orphanages. What happened next really shocked me, but it probably shouldn't have.
M asked if we could foster some kids when we lived in Vermont. He was really seriously thinking about it. He asked what it would be like, how they would interact with the family, how it would be different from adoption, if the kids would go to school with him and his brother, and if they could go on vacation with us. He asked how long they would stay with us. We told him it would be something we could think about, after we are settled and have jobs, school, and everything else worked out, but explained that it could be very difficult and complicated. We explained that the kids would be just as scared and have as many difficulties adjusting as he and his brother did, and that we wouldn't be able to make all the decisions ourselves, because the government would actually be in control of the kids even thought they'd be living with us. I don't know how much of that he understood, but my husband, J, and I all left the conversation knowing that this was something M really wants us to consider.
Hoppy smokes! I don't know why it surprised me, he's always been the one to look out after everyone and make sure they are all taken care of and okay. It's who he is.
Those of you who know my story well know I believe we were led to the boys through signs. I always wondered if fostering was in our future...now I'm starting to accept that it may very well be a big part of our life going forward.
Now, some of you who have known me a long time may also remember that I have had yet another Peruvian sweetheart on my mind for a long time. She has very severe special needs, though, and while my husband and I would like to somehow sponsor her, we don't feel capable to committing to parent her at this time.
Fast forward to a the last few weeks. J has been asking a lot of questions about whether or not we'll have another child in Vermont. He has mentioned a few times that he thinks he wants a younger sibling, by birth or adoption.
At this point, my husband and I are pretty much of the mind that we don't feel the need to try for biological children, but we've never ruled out the distant possibility of more children or foster children in the future.
I've been saving all the boys' outgrown clothes to ship to the orphanage in Peru, but to my great dismay, I found out that shipping used clothes to Peru is illegal. We mentioned it to the boys, and told them we'd find someplace more local to donate the clothing. M was surprised to find out that there might be anyone in the US who might need the clothes. I explained that there are definitely people in need in the US, and while he is somewhat sheltered from it here, that doesn't mean the need doesn't exist. I explained the difference between foster care and orphanages. What happened next really shocked me, but it probably shouldn't have.
M asked if we could foster some kids when we lived in Vermont. He was really seriously thinking about it. He asked what it would be like, how they would interact with the family, how it would be different from adoption, if the kids would go to school with him and his brother, and if they could go on vacation with us. He asked how long they would stay with us. We told him it would be something we could think about, after we are settled and have jobs, school, and everything else worked out, but explained that it could be very difficult and complicated. We explained that the kids would be just as scared and have as many difficulties adjusting as he and his brother did, and that we wouldn't be able to make all the decisions ourselves, because the government would actually be in control of the kids even thought they'd be living with us. I don't know how much of that he understood, but my husband, J, and I all left the conversation knowing that this was something M really wants us to consider.
Hoppy smokes! I don't know why it surprised me, he's always been the one to look out after everyone and make sure they are all taken care of and okay. It's who he is.
Those of you who know my story well know I believe we were led to the boys through signs. I always wondered if fostering was in our future...now I'm starting to accept that it may very well be a big part of our life going forward.
