Post by mapetitefamille on Mar 10, 2015 13:35:23 GMT -5
Talk to me about how you do it. I feel so disorganized and impatient. Trying to wrangle a newborn and a toddler is so freaking hard! DD1 is 2.5 years old and while she's a totally sweet kid, she's really been testing her limits lately. I brought both girls to Target this morning and got so sick of hearing myself say "stay with me, put that back, get off the floor," etc. When we're home, I struggle to engage DD1 in non-screen time activities because I need to step away frequently to take care of LO. She's getting a little better at playing by herself, but I still feel like a pretty crappy parent much of the time. How is everyone else faring?
DS1 is 28 months, and we're doing about the same as you. In stores I make him either ride in the shopping cart, hold my hand or the cart, or I threaten his "special bracelet," which is like a bracelet with a leash on it. If he runs away, he gets to wear that.
He has started acting out to get attention more lately, and we've started disciplining him (time out or taking away a toy/privilege) for saying "no," yelling, or any kind of physical violence. Luckily he hasn't tried to hit or kick his brother yet.
I try to set out their clothes and pack lunches in the evenings, restock diapers, etc. Otherwise I just take it one step at a time and tell myself that it will get easier.
ETA: I also try to do one special activity with DS1 per day (coloring, painting, playing with a toy or game) so that he gets attention too. Also we try to go on a family walk or play outside in the evening so he can get some energy out. Those don't always happen since I'm back at work, but we try.
I don't feel like I am doing a very good job at all! My older one is 5.5 which in some ways is easier but she also had 5 years of being the only kid and the center of attention. We try to make sure to take her on special dates with one of us and if we are both home we each take a kid but in the evenings when I am alone with both of them it easily descend into complete chaos. A lot of it is our fault, she was our baby for so long that she wants us to still help her do everything and she refuses if I ask her to do it alone, then I get frustrated and we end up arguing which I hate. She also is the loudest kid in the world so when I ask her to be quieter she gets louder. Some nights go really well others I want to cry. It is going to SUCK going back to work.
I feel like a terrible parent. The only reason I can even survive the day is that dh is home and takes ds 1 to speech and physical therapy. I feel terrible because I am still barely even able to function and each session the speech therapy people tell dh that ds needs to be read to and not watch TV. I'd love to be able to do that but I can't read to him, make dinner, clean dishes, nurse the baby and do things like shower and rest so I can heal at the same time... So I pick one or two things to slide like showering so I could do tax stuff, or I microwave spaghettios so I can hold the baby. But it's like I get a twice weekly report on how crappy I'm doing.
Post by nachomomma on Mar 10, 2015 17:34:06 GMT -5
It's rough. My older son (2 on 3/30) is pretty good, but naptime and bedtime are terrible. I still haven't figured out what to do with the baby. He ends up crying way more than I'm comfortable with, but I can't find anything that keeps him happy while I put his brother down. The rest of the day I wear DS2, which had worked well do far...hopefully it continues to. The other thing that Surprises me as how physical it is. I'm constantly exhausted I've hurt my back and I think it's only going to get harder as DS2 gets bigger. And like the others have said, I feel like a bad parent most days.
Post by shannjohnston on Mar 10, 2015 20:27:55 GMT -5
Add me to the just-trying-to -keep-them-fed-and-clothed group. Poor DS has been totally off schedule and getting way too much screen time for the last two months. I found the past month especially difficult with it being so cold and not really being able to get outside. As I tell DH, a lot of the time I'm just determining which fire needs putting out - who has the dirty diaper, who needs food, is there enough clean laundry, is the dog barking her face off outside at the neighbour, has dinner been started, did I remember to eat lunch or shower... We enrolled DS in preschool earlier than we originally planned (we were going to wait until he was 3, we started last month - three months early). It gives him some structure, it gives me two days a week with just DD (a little more sleep, a little more mommy/daughter connection time). On days he is home I do work towards trying to do a craft or play with toys or anything non-screen related. But it doesn't always go that way
I have it pretty easy this time- my big kids are 13, 9 and 7 and super independent. Even so, I still mess up and miss school deadlines or practices or whatever. I wanted to give you all a little hope, though. When my big kids were smaller, it was always a struggle. I was totally in the barely keeping it together camp, too. I worked full time and was in school with tiny babies wreaking havoc in my home and on my body. I thought things would never calm down and I would never be able to manage three kids at once. The good news is that it IS possible. You develop a routine, the kids get used to each other and then you look up and they are all in school! They all got so big we had another one. It's still a challenge now, but I promise things will settle down. Embrace the chaos, be kind to yourself and remind yourselves that you are the very best parents you can be.
I don't feel like I am doing a very good job at all! My older one is 5.5 which in some ways is easier but she also had 5 years of being the only kid and the center of attention. We try to make sure to take her on special dates with one of us and if we are both home we each take a kid but in the evenings when I am alone with both of them it easily descend into complete chaos. A lot of it is our fault, she was our baby for so long that she wants us to still help her do everything and she refuses if I ask her to do it alone, then I get frustrated and we end up arguing which I hate. She also is the loudest kid in the world so when I ask her to be quieter she gets louder. Some nights go really well others I want to cry. It is going to SUCK going back to work.
I could have written this post. And although i am not going back to work i can foresee more chaotic days ahead of us. DD#1 is acting up most of the time and sings on top of her voice THE WHOLE DAY. I try to have one special activity and pocket activities with her throughout the day. When the baby is asleep we play games and cuddle before we sleep. It is not all roses bec sometimes i lose my patience. When that happens i take deep breaths and return to the situation thinking this will improve soon. Good luck to us
Post by mapetitefamille on Mar 11, 2015 7:33:04 GMT -5
Thanks for all the responses. It's reassuring to know that I'm not the only one. I like all the advice about preparing for the day in advance and offering activities. I only recently started staying home, so I think part of my distress is realizing that I can't just wing it anymore when it comes to entertaining DD1. Yesterday I set up the snack and a painting activity while she was napping and when she woke up we spent a good two hours doing those things. Then of course my husband called and said he would be late coming home, so everything fell apart, but it was good for those two hours! I'm trying to be a little bit more gentle to myself while also working on expressing my frustrations in front of the kids. It's definitely a work in progress.
I have it pretty easy this time- my big kids are 13, 9 and 7 and super independent. Even so, I still mess up and miss school deadlines or practices or whatever. I wanted to give you all a little hope, though. When my big kids were smaller, it was always a struggle. I was totally in the barely keeping it together camp, too. I worked full time and was in school with tiny babies wreaking havoc in my home and on my body. I thought things would never calm down and I would never be able to manage three kids at once. The good news is that it IS possible. You develop a routine, the kids get used to each other and then you look up and they are all in school! They all got so big we had another one. It's still a challenge now, but I promise things will settle down. Embrace the chaos, be kind to yourself and remind yourselves that you are the very best parents you can be.
I agree. Most days I feel like I am screwing it up even with the boys (3.5) going to preschool during the week. I feel like I have no patience at all with them anymore.
Also I'm trying to still do my administrative work from home with no childcare for the baby and it's a mess. It's rough having 3!
Then Comes Family, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising
program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.