AW I'm just really frustrated right now

[llm100811]

So I am a teacher in a Catholic school which I absolutely LOVE. The kids are awesome, my boss is so supportive of my pregnancy and due date (9-13-15......uh, not the best due date for a teacher......but she was AWESOME about it and said, "I don't care about your due date, I'm just happy that you are having a blessing of a baby! She knew about our struggles), and I have a nice group of friends here. My co-teacher is looking to move back to her home state next year, which would mean I would have a new teaching partner and a maternity leave right at the beginning of the school year. I'm not worried about it at all. I know the due date is not that great, but you know what, there have been greater tragedies in the world.

A different co-worker of mine was asking me today about my co-teacher's plans, and then what my plans were. The group of students before my grade have a teacher on maternity leave right now, and co-worker kept talking about how we better have a plan in place for that group of students because parents are going to be mad about having to deal with 2 maternity leaves. She THEN proceeded to tell me about how when she had her first child, the group of parents she was dealing with were awful to her. They were so bad that our priest tailored a homily around what was happening and read it at our whole school mass in hopes that the parents would stop it. The whole conversation was just frustrating. I know my upcoming parents won't be thrilled about my due date. I don't need a constant reminder of it. I don't need a constant reminder that some students don't handle change well, and 2 years with a sub for a maternity leave may be really hard on some kids. I basically told her that change is inevitable. I tried for a June baby, it clearly didn't work. What should I do, not have my baby for the sake of the school? My boss was very supportive and said, "The school will function without you! If I could give you a whole year off to bond with your baby, I would in a heart beat." If my BOSS is this supportive, why can't my co-worker just keep her mouth shut? I already feel nervous for parents to find out, I don't need other stress added on top of it.

Sorry to vent......but you guys and my co-teacher are the only people that just get it.

[DrHooch]

That sucks. I'm sorry. People who haven't dealt with IF (or pregnancy in general) don't get how uncontrollable the whole process is. I would just avoid this particular CW, especially since your boss and other CWs seem to be much more reasonable.

I am a teacher, too. I teach college, and my EDD is Nov 3, about a month before finals. Super not convenient, but my CWs (several of whom have also struggled with IF) will understand and we will figure out a solution. You can't plan your pregnancy around your job (or, really, anything, it turns out!).

[sewfie2]

Vent away! Some people are just Debbie Downers. Which, fine, but they should learn to keep it to themselves. We have one in our office who said something really terrible to a very upset coworker and was like "I was just being honest."

[ginnyjones82]

Don't let anyone ruin this time for you!! Vent it out here, but know that life will go on. The students will be fine, and your coworker and the parents can go jump! Also, your boss sounds awesome!!

[bluefairy5]

Mar 10, 2015 14:29:18 GMT -5 sewfie2 said:

Some people are just Debbie Downers. ... We have one in our office who said something really terrible to a very upset coworker and was like "I was just being honest."

+1  Some people are just gonna look at the crap side of things. And if that's their mindset and they've gone through something themselves (sounds like her situation really did suck) they're going to be convinced that it's their duty to put everyone else on guard who might be in that same situation.  Not knowing her (obviously) I can only imagine it comes of a place of wanting to forewarn you/bear you up, but I totally get your frustration.   That said, if I'm misreading your post a little and her context was more, "It happened to me, so it had better happen to you too!" then bleh to her!

[dharmachick]

Agreed. I'm sorry you have a negative nellie throwing her stress at you.
Vent away here, and try not to let her negativity get to you. It's excellent that your boss is so supportive about it, so I'm sure that she'll mediate any potential issues. Your leave is your time, and it's about you and your baby, not about anyone else.

[ProfessorChaos]

Sorry you had to deal with that! I agree with PP. Your having a baby is not going to harm your students!

[lilyharper]

You know, when I encounter someone so dumb, I either stand there trying to formulate sentences that are polite, or I say what I want to. In this case that would be, "oh. I realize they may be upset, but are you suggesting I should either try to have the baby early or hold it in for a few extra months?" Slow blink.

In reality I'd probably say that once you meet your new coworker you'll coordinate how it will work and that your principal is informed and seemed thrilled for you having the baby WHENEVER you damn well please (ok....not the last bit).

As a teacher, I think it's ridiculous that because we have the time off during the summer we are expected to reorganize our entire lives for that point, including medically. It's insane, and not expected for any other profession.

[Deleted]

Totally vent worthy. How annoying and rude.

[llm100811]

Thanks ladies, it was just a frustrating day. I think coworker meant well in the long run but her delivery seriously sucked and I was in no mood to hear about it.
@ketchup it's really pathetic when parents pay out tuition money and then act like we are their servants. How dare we have a baby mid year? Because we all know how easy it is to plan for that perfect June baby, amIright? Ugh!
My principal is amazing! She's been so awesome about this baby, very nurturing, I'm so lucky! I wish everyone had a boss that celebrated a pregnancy instead of cringing at the thought of dealing with a maternity leave.
On a side note, I told my students (3rd graders) about the baby. They were so excited and had a zillion name suggestions. One girl looked dead serious as she asked, "do your parents know you are having a baby?" Uh yeah sweetie, they were my first phone call!

[sunnyb]

I'm sorry. I'm a teacher too. It's hard when you work close to someone and they're not supportive. My first FET was actually the second day of school, so I missed the first week. I realized that I didn't care when my due date was. I fought hard for my family and I wasn't going to let anyone make me feel bad about it. Just try to block out the noise. Your boss is supportive and that's really all that matters. I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

[wazzu08]

I'm so sorry you had to deal with that. I went to Catholic school and I remember a few parents that felt the tuition they paid made them entitled to boss around the staff. Don't let it rattle you and enjoy this amazing time you worked SO hard for. If you get any flack, throw some "the Lord works in mysterious ways*" their direction with a big 'ol grin

*PS I know this isn't in the bible