Changing tables in men's rooms...or not

[tjr42px]

m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6838778?utm_source=parents.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=pubexchange_facebook

Finally someone with some clout is shouting along with me. Then again the bill he supported and was passed with bipartisan approval that would require changing tables to be accessible to men and women was vetoed.

Literally the truth...last night I take our 3 month old to be changed at a PF Chang's. My first instinct is to pray there is enough counter space at the sink to change him. It's so rare to have a legit table. I open the door and literally said "Shit we are screwed buddy." It was a 6 foot long trough sink with no counter space at all. The guy in one of the stalls shifted his feet making just enough noise to let me know I wasn't alone. I prayed the noise was coming from the a non-handicap accessible stall (which usually there is only one stall and no table) so I had a 50/50 chance the stall that might hold the holy grail was available, but just because it's a bigger stall doesn't mean you have a table. I opened the door to the stall (they were both the same size so I was ready to admit defeat) and I did a fist pump, high fived my stinky guy who had no clue the fortune we just found...a changing table! And not just any changing table, the first one in 3.5 years (since Ds1) to actually have a functioning strap! I wanted to take a picture and would have if DS1 wasn't playing with my phone at our table. I've mastered the standing toddler diaper change, but have struggled a bit with the one hand hold, infant change...I have had to go back to my wife, admit failure and ask her to change him on occasion. Though more often than not I say F-it. I'll change the guy in the booth.

And if your restaurant has a problem with that, maybe you should have saved a few hundred on your fancy vessel sinks and get a changing table for the men's room!

[tjr42px]

My apologies to the person in the stall...I was using the changing table the other day. It wasn't your standard table. It was smaller than normal. My 4 month old's toes hung over the edge. There wasn't a trash can next to the table and the sink was on the other side of the room, so I had no counter space to set the dirty diaper. I could have put it on the floor, but when I spied the trash on the other side near the sink I had to (yes had to, lol!) try to toss it in. I assumed I was alone, but when my shot hit the rim, fell to the floor, and rolled a bit into the stall, I heard some feet shuffle and a guy clear his throat. I finished changing my guy thinking I would apologize then grab the diaper on my way out. But the guy never came out and I wasn't going to reach under the stall to grab the diaper. My bio weapon assault was enough. He didn't need me reaching near him too. Lol. So, yeah, I left...sorry dude.

[tjr42px]

You have to be shitting me? Without a changing table; where to even begin? Is a little counter space too much to ask? What is the deal with trough and vessel sink trends? Apparently I need to start bringing my own table.

[tjr42px]

Do you ladies have the same issue? Or is there typically a changing table in your restroom? My wife seems to say there is a table like 99% of the time. Maybe I'll have to start asking management to use the women's bathroom to change my kid when they side eye me for using the booth.

[draeray]

Apr 13, 2015 3:00:01 GMT -5 tjr42px said:

Do you ladies have the same issue? Or is there typically a changing table in your restroom? My wife seems to say there is a table like 99% of the time. Maybe I'll have to start asking management to use the women's bathroom to change my kid when they side eye me for using the booth.

Just lurking but my husband has this issue with our DS and we have DD coming in July. He is happy to change our children when we are out, but I would say only 40% of the time there is a changing table in the men's bathroom. What I find to be a holy grail is the family bathroom where all of us can go in if needed! They need more of those type of bathrooms because getting peed on in a public bathroom while your son is on the changing table next to the sink where people are washing their hands is so much fun.

Personally, I only have it happen about 25% of the time where I go in to change my son and there isn't a table. 

[tjr42px]

Family bathrooms are awesome. There is an amazing one at the mall near us. It even has a nursing area and two washrooms inside. Each room has two toilets, a regular sized one and one just for the little ones. The down side is that it's dingy like all mall bathrooms are.

Thanks for playing over here, btw! I see all the "views" of our posts, but rarely do lurkers play. I guess that's the definition of a lurker though...we do appreciate all of you ladies out there!

[alwaysnc4me]

Apr 13, 2015 3:00:01 GMT -5 tjr42px said:

Do you ladies have the same issue? Or is there typically a changing table in your restroom? My wife seems to say there is a table like 99% of the time. Maybe I'll have to start asking management to use the women's bathroom to change my kid when they side eye me for using the booth.

There is probably a changing table 90% of the time. Hubs would gladly do diaper duty when we're out but as you've noticed....if there isn't a family restroom he has to pass diaper duty to me half the time!

[tjr42px]

Did any of you ladies question SO the first time he brought LO back unchanged. My wife was like "what are you talking about? You're kidding right? It's in the handicap stall." I wanted to take pictures of ever angle of the bathroom as proof, but that's not creepy at all.

[alwaysnc4me]

Apr 21, 2015 9:57:43 GMT -5 tjr42px said:

Did any of you ladies question SO the first time he brought LO back unchanged. My wife was like "what are you talking about? You're kidding right? It's in the handicap stall." I wanted to take pictures of ever angle of the bathroom as proof, but that's not creepy at all.

It is actually something we had talked about before kiddo was ever born. Still amazes me that in the eyes of a lot of retailers only women can change a diaper/have the option to change a diaper comfortably.

[tjr42px]

Agreed. And since I'm me...I take it as a personal challenge to change that diaper even without a table. Counters, across my knees, toilet seats (if they have a cover though most don't) when he can stand - the standing change. Lol. I guess it's similar to my attempts to bring in all the grocery bags in one trip no matter what.

No table...challenge accepted! Still pissed, but won't let it stop me.

I guess. It's sort of a self-fulfilling cycle. Men can't change diapers. No need for table. No table? men can't change diapers. On the flip side, I think it sends the message only woman (should) change diapers.

I really wonder who makes these calls. I'm pretty sure it's a man who either doesn't have kids or one that doesn't change his kiddo's diapers. And these are the guys running things... :/

[alwaysnc4me]

Ha, hubs is usually the same way unless it is a really tight space and then he admits defeat and comes out for a parent switch. He suggested boycotting places that do not have changing tables in the mens bathrooms.

[tjr42px]

I also suggested this. But that really limits where we can go. I'm not above asking to see a place's bathroom before getting a table though.

[alwaysnc4me]

Apr 21, 2015 11:21:47 GMT -5 tjr42px said:

I also suggested this. But that really limits where we can go. I'm not above asking to see a place's bathroom before getting a table though.

Such a great idea, so simple. Can't believe we haven't thought of that.

[tjr42px]

Seems simple, but once we are there AND hungry we'd be more likely to eat no matter what. But remembering which ones have a table and which don't would inform us for next time. Though I feel like management should know why we wouldn't come back or it wouldn't make a difference. Maybe calling ahead or probably what I'll start doing is after I go in and see there isn't one, ask where they would like me to change him.

"I'm pretty sure there is one in the women's room. Mind if I use that one?"

What do you suggest the best way to approach this? I'm sure they will ask if my wife could change him. I'm inclined to say "she could, but do you feel it necessary for mothers to change every diaper for their children or is it possible that your sexist gender stereotyping bathroom situation needs to be reassessed?"

Is that too over the top?

[alwaysnc4me]

Apr 21, 2015 12:00:44 GMT -5 tjr42px said:

Seems simple, but once we are there AND hungry we'd be more likely to eat no matter what. But remembering which ones have a table and which don't would inform us for next time. Though I feel like management should know why we wouldn't come back or it wouldn't make a difference. Maybe calling ahead or probably what I'll start doing is after I go in and see there isn't one, ask where they would like me to change him.

"I'm pretty sure there is one in the women's room. Mind if I use that one?"

What do you suggest the best way to approach this? I'm sure they will ask if my wife could change him. I'm inclined to say "she could, but do you feel it necessary for mothers to change every diaper for their children or is it possible that your sexist gender stereotyping bathroom situation needs to be reassessed?"

Is that too over the top?

There is absolutely nothing wrong with asking to use the ladies room! My hubs did that at Sagebrush a while back- no table in the guys room so server or hostess, can't remember which, stood at the door while he went in with out daughter and changed her.  Also, what if you're out alone with your kid or with the guys and there is no wife around? Then what? Get a stranger to change the kiddo??

Also, a Starbucks barista suggested we use the comment cards that are sent to district managers! The bathrooms there are unisex (at least in the one we frequent) and no changing table at all. She said they had one at one point but it got taken out. But comment cards really are read and if enough people ask for/or suggest something, then it is more likely to happen.

[seamonster]

I'd say 90% for ladies. It really depends on the clientele. I've changed my share on the floor, counters, and toilet lids. I like family restrooms with tables, especially since LO is terrified of airdryers. One of the malls in town has a room that's got 5 open stalls of changing tables with a sink and nursing chair; I love it.

[tjr42px]

Apr 28, 2015 6:31:15 GMT -5 seamonster said:

I'd say 90% for ladies. It really depends on the clientele. I've changed my share on the floor, counters, and toilet lids. I like family restrooms with tables, especially since LO is terrified of airdryers. One of the malls in town has a room that's got 5 open stalls of changing tables with a sink and nursing chair; I love it.

!!!! 5 tables!?! Damn they should share the wealth. I hear you about air dryers. Our 3 year old pees everywhere when someone else uses them. He covers his ears instinctively, but can't stop going. I feel for the little guy. He's always so embarrassed and apologetic. Then again he has no issue peeling all over the floor/toilet at home just because.

[tjr42px]

Oh, I'll add that over the weekend there was a family room at a diner we went to. It had a "fancy" table. It was all chrome with black detailed edging. It was done up to match the 50's diner theme.

[eddiegotsole]

I found a changing table in the Mens room of a supermarket. Didn't have DS with me but it was nice to see, even though it was completely tagged up and may not have been functional.

[Deleted]

Apr 28, 2015 8:30:30 GMT -5 tjr42px said:

Apr 28, 2015 6:31:15 GMT -5 seamonster said:

I'd say 90% for ladies. It really depends on the clientele. I've changed my share on the floor, counters, and toilet lids. I like family restrooms with tables, especially since LO is terrified of airdryers. One of the malls in town has a room that's got 5 open stalls of changing tables with a sink and nursing chair; I love it.

!!!! 5 tables!?! Damn they should share the wealth. I hear you about air dryers. Our 3 year old pees everywhere when someone else uses them. He covers his ears instinctively, but can't stop going. I feel for the little guy. He's always so embarrassed and apologetic. Then again he has no issue peeling all over the floor/toilet at home just because.

A few of our local malls have co-ed family zones that are co-ed with multiple changing mats, a wipe warmer with free wipes, and trash bins at every changing station.  Also a play area with infant toys and three curtained "milking parlors" for the breastfeeding mamas.
It's really nice.

[tjr42px]

May 26, 2015 19:26:04 GMT -5 @kellys said:

Apr 28, 2015 8:30:30 GMT -5 tjr42px said:

!!!! 5 tables!?! Damn they should share the wealth. I hear you about air dryers. Our 3 year old pees everywhere when someone else uses them. He covers his ears instinctively, but can't stop going. I feel for the little guy. He's always so embarrassed and apologetic. Then again he has no issue peeling all over the floor/toilet at home just because.

A few of our local malls have co-ed family zones that are co-ed with multiple changing mats, a wipe warmer with free wipes, and trash bins at every changing station.  Also a play area with infant toys and three curtained "milking parlors" for the breastfeeding mamas.
It's really nice.

Is this place heaven? Wipe warms and free wipes?!? Toys and curtained areas for breastfeeding? Got to be heaven...or Iowa.

[Deleted]

SIlicon Valley, California.
I was at the mall yesterday, but noticed someone the plug adapter thing for the wipe warmer was gone.
I guess it someone stole it. The wipes container was empty too. I was tempted to leave a pack in the container, but I didn't want them to get stolen too.

I guess even heaven has thieves.

[tjr42px]

May 29, 2015 0:13:21 GMT -5 @kellys said:

SIlicon Valley, California.
I was at the mall yesterday, but noticed someone the plug adapter thing for the wipe warmer was gone.
I guess it someone stole it. The wipes container was empty too. I was tempted to leave a pack in the container, but I didn't want them to get stolen too.

I guess even heaven has thieves.

That's pretty shitty to steal from a room like that. If you need some wipes ok, fine, whatever, but the adapter for the warmer? I'll give the wipes the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you need them or maybe they ran out and didn't restock it, but what is that person doing with the adapter?

[Deleted]

I *just* got the Field of Dreams reference lol

[tjr42px]

May 29, 2015 9:46:32 GMT -5 @kellys said:

I *just* got the Field of Dreams reference lol

Lol! You have no idea how much that just made my day. . I feel like my language is random movie and TV quotes. It is rare anyone gets them. My wife just looks at me and says "is that a movie reference I don't get?"

[ak0725]

Yesterday my family, including two sister in law who are visiting, went down to the beach, which was nasty due to the recent storms. But they have something called "Pleasure Pier" which has restaurants, and some amusement park rides and stuff like that. Anyways, long story short, we ate at the Bubba Gumps there. I went in to use the restroom at one point and saw that not only was there a functioning and clean changing table, but it was set off to the side so as to provide a little privacy, it had a counter next to it so I could set down my "Daddy Diaper Backpack" and a trash can there for us too. I was so happy to see it that I went back out to the table and said, "My turn to change him before we leave." My wife looked at my like umm ok? what's all the excitement about haha

Women will never understand that kind of excitement

[tjr42px]

It's crazy how exciting the little things are. Then again getting to be and put into practice daddy skillz is no little thing.

We were recently at a Friendly's that was not friendly at all. Not only was there no place to change my little guy in the men's room, the staff was not friendly at all. :/

[ak0725]

that's a shame, and unfortunately it seems to be much more common that direction than the other.

as you and others have previously mentioned, my wife and I make it a point to note which establishments have changing tables in the men's room and which of those are actually kept up well. It makes a world of difference, and certainly plays a part in our dinner- out choices.

[amiee]

I think it is ridiculous that men's rooms do not typically have changing tables. It isn't expensive to buy one so it can't be money.

So it must be because of stereotypes... which IMO means they are way behind times. Many father's help with children, are single fathers, or share custody/ have visitation. They deserve to be able to change a diaper on a changing table.

Public restroom floor are gross... I would assume men's rooms are as well.

I say find a place with one and frequent it often .