Where should I sleep?

[dacora]

Ugh, I'm torn. Do I keep sleeping in my own bedroom with DH and DD and worry about DH getting woken up by all of DD's noises and when I get up with her in the middle of the night, or do I sleep with her in her room which is a lot less stressful and I know that DH will sleep better when he goes to work? I know that this will just be temporary, but I hate the thought of barely sleeping in the same bed with my husband for what could be a couple months. We can always snuggle up for a while at other times...



What would you do ladies? The logical option that means better sleep for everyone, or stick it out so you can sleep in the same room with your husband?

[kcrosem]

I sleep in the baby room and DH and I find time to cuddle when we can. Good for one of us to be rested for ds1.

[jaztastic]

Speaking as someone whose husband works at night... I never pass up the chance to sleep next to him, no matter how uncomfortable. It's one of those little things I don't take for granted cause it happens so rare.

[junebugjam]

If LO is having a bad night, my H will sleep in the guest room so he's rested for work. If it's just the typical nightly wake ups, we sleep in the same room but I'm the only one who gets up with him. I know my H wakes up but it's worth it to us to sleep together. Like you said, it's only temporary and someday we'll sleep again!

[wendy46001]

My first thought is, what does your DH think? I know mine gets woken up whenever she's up but she only cries for a few minutes and he's back to snoring before DD is even half way through her feeding. He honestly doesn't mind (think I helps him gage how my night is going and how I am)

If your DH think he needs more rest then maybe try it a night or two. If its just you stressing that he's getting woken up then I'd stay put and just realize its only for a little while

[sccurrier]

My FI is such a heavy sleeper that he only wakes up when the baby is full blown crying. And even then he's back to snoring just a few minutes after waking up. Sometimes I'll actually wake him up for help but he doesn't mind and wants to be helpful. I'd ask your H and see what he thinks.

[dacora]

junebugjam This might be how we end up doing it, a mixture of both depending on how DD is doing that night.

@holachica On a normal night when he's able to get her to sleep before 1 am (I go to bed between 9 and 10 and then get up with her when she wakes in the middle of the night) he doesn't typically wake up when I get up with her. Honestly I think it's more in my head.

wendy46001 We're both sort of torn on the whole thing, which is why I figured I'd ask you ladies. I think the whole thing bothers me more than it bothers him.

Thanks for the feedback so far, I think we might just take it one day at a time and do whatever is best for that particular night.

[maryxc1]

DH has been sleeping on the sofa for months. I didn't ask him to, but late in pregnancy when I started having real trouble sleeping, he moved there. He knows that if I wake up, I can't go back to sleep with his snoring. When you wake up many times a night, that is a problem. He says he will "move back in" after DD isn't feeding three times a night.

[lilyelayne]

Mar 12, 2015 11:26:41 GMT -5 dacora said:

Thanks for the feedback so far, I think we might just take it one day at a time and do whatever is best for that particular night.

PP have given you good advice, and I think this is a good mindset. As long as you and your husband keep communicating, y'all will figure it out. Sometimes sleep may be more important, and sometimes being together may be more important.

[mishka29]

DH has been on the couch for about 2 months now. A couple weeks while i was pregnant bc i was too noisey. Then bc LO and I bed share. I think we'll try her in the basinette tonight and see if she can keep that first good stretch going.

To me I find everything is a transition at this stage. Try something, if it doesn't work then try something else. GL!

[mommadozer]

DH and I have not slept in the same bed for 5+ months. Between the pregnant tossing and turning and LO's constant noises, I have slept in different rooms so he can get better sleep.

We cuddle in the evenings when LO is napping.

[Mom2Ms]

DH has been sleeping in the guest bedroom since early pregnancy. DS co-sleeps with me in the master bed. I don't anticipate that DH will move into the master until DS goes into the nursery. DH works some crazy hours, so it just works for us.

[dacora]

Ended up in DD's room again last night because she's been stubborn about going to sleep at a reasonable hour. BUT she basically slept from 1:30 until 7, which was awesome. One of these days maybe she'll let us sleep in the same room again.

[aggiebug]

I am a strong proponent of sleeping in your own bed with your SO. I felt stressed about DD waking up H for a while but realized she wasn't doing that and he was happier with us in the room than he ever would be if we weren't.

[toadandbuggie]

I have this same dilemma every night when LO is being a fuss bucket. We sleep together but when LO starts really crying then I take him out of the room to calm him down in his room and bring him back when he's calm again. H is generally a deep sleeper so I'm not sure how much LO's noises disturb him. He said last night he likes having LO and I close to him and I prefer us all together too. I find that I get less sleep when I am separated from him, so it's worth it for me.

[osumegs]

Another option would be to go to bed together but not actually sleep in same room. If sleep is an issue, you guys could get some cuddle time/you time in before moving into a separate room.

[dacora]

osumegs We were actually talking about something like that, making sure we spend some time together if sleeping in the same bed just isn't happening that night.

So it isn't actually the middle of the night wake ups that are a problem, it's getting her to sleep in the first place. Last night, for example, the only way I was able to get her to fall asleep was in her RNP (she wouldn't sleep with me holding her) and I didn't want to risk waking her up by either picking her up, or moving the RNP across the house to my bedroom.

It might be worth saying that for the first three years of our marriage that DH traveled for work. We would regularly be apart about 10 days (two work weeks) out of the month apart. Because of that we got used to some separation and I can sleep fine without him there. DH is also COMPLETELY useless when he doesn't get enough sleep. He basically acts like he has the dreaded manflu.

[RedGiant]

DH gets up when our 2 year old wakes up at night, and I handle DD's feeding/diaper changes. If one kid or the other is having a bad night, DH tends to sleep in the guest room so we all get as much sleep as possible. we try to go to bed together, but definitely have some us time in the evening once DS goes to sleep.

[mommadozer]

Mar 13, 2015 7:39:10 GMT -5 toadandbuggie said:

I have this same dilemma every night when LO is being a fuss bucket. We sleep together but when LO starts really crying then I take him out of the room to calm him down in his room and bring him back when he's calm again. H is generally a deep sleeper so I'm not sure how much LO's noises disturb him. He said last night he likes having LO and I close to him and I prefer us all together too. I find that I get less sleep when I am separated from him, so it's worth it for me.

I call my LO a fuss bucket too!

[kartish]

I take all the chances to sleep with my husband that I can. Generally though, he is asleep long before we get to bed. But the simple act of climbing into bed with him and snuggling close helps me get to sleep.