DH Job Change

[theatrepal]

My DH is most likely getting a new job. Any suggestions on when/how he should tell the new employer about our adoption plan?

[pinkie]

I'd probably suggest he tell them very soon after he starts. This probably sounds gender biased but I assume he isn't planning to take a super long leave? Are you guys working with a local or national agency (I.e. Do you anticipate travel?).

Don't forget that a new job could impact the home study so once he starts you prob need to tell your agency too.

[theatrepal]

He was actually hoping to take 12 weeks. That will probably fall apart if he hasn't been there a year. We are using a local agency. We could have a 6 or more hour drive that would require an overnight stay.

We saw our social worker last week and let her know what's up. Sounds like as long as it's a similar job making a similar amount we won't have to do much.

[grannypantiesrock]

That could be little hairy. They're not required to give parental leave until he's there a year. I wouldn't tell them until you guys go live-- assuming you're not already. I'm in the same situation. Getting taken over by a new company, but doing the exact same job in the exact same place. I'm waiting until after I'm hired and once we're officially listed. I don't expect they will be pleased.

[Captain Serious]

I'd tell them right after he starts. I don't think when he tells them will matter much in their decision on how much leave to give him. They likely have a policy or a way of approaching these kinds of decisions that won't change much. It's more likely to be affected by how long he's working there before he goes on leave and how effectively he can arrange for his work to be handled by others while he's gone.

[drloretta]

I agree, it's probably a good idea for him to tell them ASAP and try to work with them on a leave plan.

[pinkie]

Please don't take this negatively - I am just being honest from my perspective. Is it typical in your DHs work to be able to take a 12 week paternity leave? Because from what I'm used to seeing, that's in line with the leave the primary caregiver would take in a two working family situation. I would encourage him to share that you are trying to adopt right away but I would also encourage him to ask around about what is an acceptable leave. Maybe that length of a leave is ok but to use an example, my husband took 2 weeks each time. 1 week was the paternity leave our company allows and 1 week was vacation.

I may totally not understand his work situation so take this with a grain of salt but 12 weeks would be very long for a male where we work unless he was going to be the primary care giver.

[theatrepal]

He would be the primary caregiver for the weeks he is off. If he hasn't been there a year, we fully believe he won't be able to take 12 weeks that was just the plan at the current job. Now, he will get what he gets. Thanks for the advice on telling them as soon as he starts!

[pinkie]

Ah that makes sense. I didn't mean to sound critical I just think if you got a quick match he may not be able to take that long. But a chat with the new employer would help clear it up

[milehighmama]

I was in a similar situation. I actually told HR when they gave me the verbal offer. I let them know that we weren't sure when it would happen, it could be tomorrow or it could be months from now. As it turned out we got the call 5 days after I accepted the offer. The sooner you tell them the better.