Adult Friendly BabyShowers

[holliberry28]

I don't know if this has been discussed in great detail yet, but you guise will let me know.

My sister is throwing my baby shower in the end of April, and I had told her that I want it to be adult friendly, but she doesn't really get what I mean, and because of pregnancy brain, I'm having trouble explaining it to her.

Obviously, there will be lots of alcohol.  I want there to be fun games/activities, but nothing too babyish or cutesy.  I saw one cute idea where everyone was given plain white onesies, and then each drew a personalized pictures on it for the LO.  There's also chugging white russians from baby bottles, because well, alcohol.  But other than that, I can't think of anything that would be less annoying to adults (especially single friends who may not get a huge kick out of it).

I also posted in FFFC about not wanting to open presents in front of everyone, due to feeling awkward and the time kill and mcp6286 inspired me to seriously look into not doing it.  What do you guys think?? TIA!

[tatersalad]

Mar 13, 2015 11:36:50 GMT -5 holliberry28 said:

I don't know if this has been discussed in great detail yet, but you guise will let me know.

My sister is throwing my baby shower in the end of April, and I had told her that I want it to be adult friendly, but she doesn't really get what I mean, and because of pregnancy brain, I'm having trouble explaining it to her.

Obviously, there will be lots of alcohol.  I want there to be fun games/activities, but nothing too babyish or cutesy.  I saw one cute idea where everyone was given plain white onesies, and then each drew a personalized pictures on it for the LO.  There's also chugging white russians from baby bottles, because well, alcohol.  But other than that, I can't think of anything that would be less annoying to adults (especially single friends who may not get a huge kick out of it).

I also posted in FFFC about not wanting to open presents in front of everyone, due to feeling awkward and the time kill and mcp6286 inspired me to seriously look into not doing it.  What do you guys think?? TIA!

I like the idea of a boozy, adult friendly baby shower. Especially if you have a lot of single friends. Personally I hate baby showers, and felt uncomfortable opening gifts in front of everyone. Not to mention it was hot as hell for mine, and my friend had me positioned on a lakeside chaise in direct sunlight to open them all. Thank god there was plenty of wine to make it bearable for my guests.

[carolyngrace]

I think your shower sounds great already! The main thing that would make it adult friendly is booze (which sounds like it's covered) and not being OVERLY programmed. So put on some music, mingle, talk, and DONE. Personally I like the idea of a silly game or two as well, but most adults could take or leave the games.

As far as presents go, you could always start opening close to the end and make some kind of announcement that people can watch, or choose to continue to mingle and enjoy the party. Some may leave and that's ok too. I think it just gets annoying when someone "organizes" everyone to watch the present opening (which will probably definitely happen at my shower anyway!)

[Deleted]

We had a coed shower for DS1 and it was a blast. It was no different than any other party we would do with friends, except there were stations set up for baby related activities that people could do on their own time, if they wanted to. And we did do present opening but most of the guys just sat on the back patio and drank during that part.

[mcp6286]

At my shower (which, yes, happened ridiculously early) my sisters came up with GREAT alternatives to traditional games.

1) They had a big three-fold board (think 5th grade science fair) where they posted the baby pictures of everyone important on one side (both sets of parents, siblings, and each of mine/DHs two best friends) and then adult pictures on the other side. Guests had to match baby pictures with adults and whoever got the most right won.
2) They got facts about me/DH from our moms (think embarrassing like: this kid filled their shoes with dirt every day (my DH) and this kid once bit their brother b/c he wouldn't help clean out the car (me lol)...the funnier the better!). Then guests had to guess who each one was and the most right won.
3) They made up questions about our parenting styles (i.e. If Hayley never figures out that Santa isn't real, at what age do you tell her? or If the tooth fairy always leave $5 but then one time Hayley leaves a note on her pillow asking for $20, what do you do?) and got DH to answer them ahead of time. At the shower, they asked me each question and everyone guessed how we'd both answer, then I answered and my sis revealed DH's answer. Most correct won.

They were WAY more fun than regular baby shower games! The entire room was cracking up the whole time. Most of the guests know us both well so they got a real kick out of it.

Not opening presents was a total hit with the guests, as was having a bar We also had a professional photographer come, which was awesome because we got some lovely family photos and dont have to rely on randoms snapped on iPhones that are blurry to remember our special day. I could totally relax knowing my photographer would just handle it (pictures are super important to me).

[Widget123]

At my baby shower for DD there was no drinking and no games, just present unwrapping (because people wanted to oogle the baby gifts, many of which were home-made) and casual conversation, and quite frankly I was happy it was that way vs. what you described. A lot of older family members were present which is part of the reason it was what it was. However, if that is what you want, then go for it.

[Deleted]

My friend threw us a co-ed baby shower and it was a blast. The guys actually enjoyed puffy painting the white onesies more than the girls. If you do decide to do the onesie painting provide black, navy and orange markers too so it's not so babyish for the guys that are into drawing. There was a a tv on w sports playing. We also provided a wide range of drinks ( champagne, beer, wine etc) the other game we did was a suggestion box of joke names for the baby and after the shower DH and I died laughing over all the suggestions. We also chose not to open all the gifts in front of everyone just so we could enjoy ourselves more and feel more relaxed to focus on spending time w friends. The gift opening is my least fave part of any shower. I just can't ooh and ahh over another pair of baby socks.

[headisbest]

My shower is going to be held two weeks after DH and myself move into our new house so as things will still be a tad chaotic - it will be a house warming/bbq/baby gathering. My best friend and SIL are cohosting the event. It will be coed and be close friends and family. Although I am sure they want to have some games - they also know I would like the event as casual as possible. Some beers, bbq and baby clothes really is what the involvement will be.

[pickles]

You could have a display shower - everything wrapped in clear cellophane or not wrapped as someone suggested. I recently went to a shower where they did a speed opening where each guest grabs a gift (not the one they bought) and then opens it, then you go around the room and explain how you know the mom to be and then show off the gift to all the other guests.

[Bluedaisy]

Mar 14, 2015 20:51:52 GMT -5 budders said:

I totally get where you are coming from; I've been to a plethora of baby showers, and they fall along the spectrum of "enjoyable". Booze is definitely helpful for those who can indulge. My mom is a recovered alcoholic, so there won't be any at mine, but I did ask for only one or two non-invasive games. I think my mom is compiling a basket filled with necessities for the baby and having people estimate the cost; winner gets a prize. Definitely nothing that requires people to look ridiculous, get too involved, or requires too much time. People just want to hang out, eat and chat.

As much as I hate the gift opening, there is not much of a way around this one. People LOVE checking out the baby stuff, and want to see you open their gifts. You can have people bring them unwrapped, but unless that's something that's commonly done in your area, people might balk at that (I, for one, really enjoy wrapping gifts and putting together the whole presentation). There will be several kids at my shower, and I plan on having them help me to defray some of the awkwardness by helping to open and unwrap.

I love ooohing over all of the sweet baby stuff so I'd feel short changed if the opening was skipped.  I also definitely would not bring an unwrapped gift or one wrapped in celophane.....it's not done here and I'd find it really weird.

Getting kids to help unwrap is a great idea, that's what I did at my bridal shower and it was so much fun! Plus the kids loved it and it kept the occupied. My sister is planning my shower and she is doing a co-ed BBQ I think.  I kind of am sad I won't be having the traditional ladies only thing....I'm super girly and traditional so the BBQ would not be my preference at all.

[mrsh2010]

No advice about the adult friendly part. PPs have some good ideas.

I just wanted to add that at a shower I recently went too, the mom-to-be opened about 1/3 or 1/2 of the gifts then the host asked if anyone else would like their gift opened at the shower. I thought it was a nice way of not hurting anyone's feelings, letting everyone see a few gifts, and not making it drag on forever.

[effthisnoise]

I went to a coed shower recently and the gift opening portion lasted FOREVER. I'd be disappointed to attend a shower and not see any gift opening, but some people won't be into it or will lose interest after a while. I suggest having some other activity going on simultaneously and someone could make an announcement, " holliberry28 is going to open gifts now! You can keep doing X or come watch!"

My friend had a dance party baby shower and requested no wrapped gifts. I personally think that's kind of rude, but whatever. The intention was that there'd be no gift-opening or even much attention given to the gifts, but at some point someone turned on the lights (it was a glow sticks in the dark kind of party) and we went through the gifts anyway. People don't want to spend a lot of time on gift-opening, but I think most people like seeing cute baby things.

[ombradellarosa]

Basically, a shower is a gift-giving occasion. When people go to the trouble of buying/making and wrapping your gifts, they usually want to see you open them. I think a display shower is tacky. And I really think that having your guests open your presents is awful. I saw a post about that before and the general consensus was the same. I think PPs suggestion of opening presents last so people can leave if they want or having other things going on at the same time so people can choose is a good idea. Basically letting people decide whether they want to watch or not is a better option than forcing the unwilling. But I don't think you should just not open them at all. If it's too awkward for you to open presents in front of people, don't have a shower.

I also agree with PPs who said that you don't need games. If you really want to be adult friendly, plan to just hang out and if you have any activities, such as onesie decorating, make them optional and kind of a side thing. I don't drink so maybe I don't understand, but I think that chugging from a baby bottle sounds more irritating than fun and I'd rather not have to work for the drink. A good rule of thumb might be, if you would do this activity at a non-baby-shower event, go for it.

[carolyngrace]

I'm going to hijack this thread for another baby shower concern now if that's ok!

I just found out my mom is jumping into the shower planning process (My sister and BFF offered to throw it initially, and are still doing most of it). My BFF forwarded me one of my mom's "ideas" she shared... Something about a mother/daughter interview, or sharing encouraging bible verses, or talking about how to lean on community for support.... None of these are terrible ideas in themselves, but I know my mom and can see her making it into this huge activity. I'm worried about it sucking up a lot of time AND feeling embarrassing. But I know that me getting involved would make her feel bad. And I know that even though my mom can be a little wacky, she loves me more than anyone. So I think I'm going to sit back and let whatever happens, happen. Also hoping my sister will be able to reign in whatever she comes up with. (My other concern is there were already a couple of game/activity suggestions for the shower and I don't want it to be an over-programmed mess. I just want to enjoy hanging out with people for a lot of the time).

Anyway, that was more of a rant than anything.

Any concerns or things anyone else wants to rant about for their shower?

[Bluedaisy]

Mar 18, 2015 0:55:01 GMT -5 ombradellarosa said:

Basically, a shower is a gift-giving occasion. When people go to the trouble of buying/making and wrapping your gifts, they usually want to see you open them. I think a display shower is tacky. And I really think that having your guests open your presents is awful. I saw a post about that before and the general consensus was the same. I think PPs suggestion of opening presents last so people can leave if they want or having other things going on at the same time so people can choose is a good idea. Basically letting people decide whether they want to watch or not is a better option than forcing the unwilling. But I don't think you should just not open them at all. If it's too awkward for you to open presents in front of people, don't have a shower.

I also agree with PPs who said that you don't need games. If you really want to be adult friendly, plan to just hang out and if you have any activities, such as onesie decorating, make them optional and kind of a side thing. I don't drink so maybe I don't understand, but I think that chugging from a baby bottle sounds more irritating than fun and I'd rather not have to work for the drink. A good rule of thumb might be, if you would do this activity at a non-baby-shower event, go for it.

I almost paged you yesterday ombradellarosa, a woman was talking about how her shower was a dance party complete with glowsticks but how near the end someone turned on the lights and she went through the presents.  I had a serious "please tell me this is strange for a shower" moment.

[Bluedaisy]

Mar 18, 2015 7:26:59 GMT -5 carolyngrace said:

I'm going to hijack this thread for another baby shower concern now if that's ok!

I just found out my mom is jumping into the shower planning process (My sister and BFF offered to throw it initially, and are still doing most of it). My BFF forwarded me one of my mom's "ideas" she shared... Something about a mother/daughter interview, or sharing encouraging bible verses, or talking about how to lean on community for support.... None of these are terrible ideas in themselves, but I know my mom and can see her making it into this huge activity. I'm worried about it sucking up a lot of time AND feeling embarrassing. But I know that me getting involved would make her feel bad. And I know that even though my mom can be a little wacky, she loves me more than anyone. So I think I'm going to sit back and let whatever happens, happen. Also hoping my sister will be able to reign in whatever she comes up with. (My other concern is there were already a couple of game/activity suggestions for the shower and I don't want it to be an over-programmed mess. I just want to enjoy hanging out with people for a lot of the time).

Anyway, that was more of a rant than anything.

Any concerns or things anyone else wants to rant about for their shower?

I would talk to your sister and see if she can gently steer your mom in the right direction.

[effthisnoise]

Mar 18, 2015 7:59:06 GMT -5 Bluedaisy said:

Mar 18, 2015 0:55:01 GMT -5 ombradellarosa said:

Basically, a shower is a gift-giving occasion. When people go to the trouble of buying/making and wrapping your gifts, they usually want to see you open them. I think a display shower is tacky. And I really think that having your guests open your presents is awful. I saw a post about that before and the general consensus was the same. I think PPs suggestion of opening presents last so people can leave if they want or having other things going on at the same time so people can choose is a good idea. Basically letting people decide whether they want to watch or not is a better option than forcing the unwilling. But I don't think you should just not open them at all. If it's too awkward for you to open presents in front of people, don't have a shower.

I also agree with PPs who said that you don't need games. If you really want to be adult friendly, plan to just hang out and if you have any activities, such as onesie decorating, make them optional and kind of a side thing. I don't drink so maybe I don't understand, but I think that chugging from a baby bottle sounds more irritating than fun and I'd rather not have to work for the drink. A good rule of thumb might be, if you would do this activity at a non-baby-shower event, go for it.

I almost paged you yesterday ombradellarosa, a woman was talking about how her shower was a dance party complete with glowsticks but how near the end someone turned on the lights and she went through the presents.  I had a serious "please tell me this is strange for a shower" moment.

I told that story of my friend's baby shower. Obviously that's strange for a shower. It's not my style, but she wanted something fun and different. One of her co-workers even acted as bartender and our glow stick bracelets were color-coded for who was or wasn't drinking. I only mentioned it as an example of how lots of people still want to see baby gifts no matter how untraditional the shower might be.

[Bluedaisy]

Mar 18, 2015 16:56:54 GMT -5 effthisnoise said:

Mar 18, 2015 7:59:06 GMT -5 Bluedaisy said:

I almost paged you yesterday ombradellarosa, a woman was talking about how her shower was a dance party complete with glowsticks but how near the end someone turned on the lights and she went through the presents.  I had a serious "please tell me this is strange for a shower" moment.

I told that story of my friend's baby shower. Obviously that's strange for a shower. It's not my style, but she wanted something fun and different. One of her co-workers even acted as bartender and our glow stick bracelets were color-coded for who was or wasn't drinking. I only mentioned it as an example of how lots of people still want to see baby gifts no matter how untraditional the shower might be.

Oops I guess I need to remember where I read stuff... pregnancy brain fail.  I guess I just don't understand why people have showers if they don't want a shower....to me it sounds like "ugh showers suck but I still want everyone to buy me stuff"