Intro & U/S question

[rachaeleigh]

Hi ladies,
I'm Rachael. I've been a part of TTCAL/CAL for the last 3 years and also 3T/IF for a little over a year. I got a BFP at 6dpt5dt after our first IVF in Feb/March. I'm currently 4w3d, I think.
First betas were 202 & 503, at 14dpt & 16dpt respectively.
I think most of my history is in my siggy, but I'm an open book so if you want to know anything about me, please ask.

Because of my loss history, I really only planned on intro'ing on CAR, but I'm realizing I'll need lots of support, as I'm an emotional mess. Also, I feel awkward not being part of an IF board anymore, if that makes sense.

My first ultrasound is scheduled for the 24th at 5w6d. I think the purpose is to only check for uterine placement, but I'm obsessing about that being so close to 6 weeks and have heard of women seeing a heartbeat then. Ultrasounds have never really gone well for me. Would you ladies mind sharing stories of your ultrasound if you had one then?

So, can I stay for awhile? After I get through these emotional break downs, I promise I'm a lot of fun

[ProfessorChaos]

Welcome and congratulations! I was more of an IF board girl than TTCAL, but I check in on both PgAL (now CAR) and PAIF. I find them both really helpful, unlike the BMB, so this works for me.

As for your ultrasound, there's a possibility that you'll see a heartbeat at that stage, but it would just be barely flickering on, so you probably shouldn't expect it. You're much more likely to be told that there's a sac and some fetal structures, like maybe the fetal pole and yolk sac. If you get that you can celebrate. It depends on a lot of factors, as you probably know, including the quality of the machine, skill of the tech, and structural things like whether you have a tilted uterus.

These days are so difficult, especially for those who have experienced losses and bad ultrasounds. I hope time passes quickly for you and that your first scan goes great! ((hugs))

[lilyharper]

Hi there. I'm a RPLer too so I completely get where you are at.

******prior losses mentioned******

I've either had cp's or mmc so u/s's have always been my personal version of hell. It's hard. Getting to the point of having an abdominal u/s (at 8 weeks 3 days!!!!) was nothing short of miraculous for me.

******end mention****


To be honest, this is why I pushed my first u/s with my RE to be later, so it would be definitive no matter what. At 5 weeks 6 days you coooooould see a hb, but it's still early. Basically that's the day or within a day of when that starts. So if you implanted later (and I did an FET and my EDD was 2 days later than expected because it didn't implant exactly when it was expected to, because, you know, me) it may not show up, or it may not show up because it's too early for cardiac activity to start.

So this time I requested my first u/s to be at 6 weeks 5 days, which drove me crazy to the lead up, but then I had spotting (my cervix is a pita) so they moved it up a day.

I'd love to tell you the crazy goes away, but it doesn't. I have felt better with each subsequent u/s but it's hard after going down this road multiple times to believe everything is ok, even when everything really is. I have hope that getting out of first tri will help, or maybe when (I hope) I feel movement.

Also, if it all possible, I would highly recommend not going to u/s alone. The first one I willingly went to alone was at 10 weeks and that was really because my mom had the flu and my DH was at work. So willingly may not be the right word.

Oh, and I have also taken to requesting that they not show me the u/s until they find 1. A baby, 2. A hb.

Hth. Plenty of crazy to share here. Being RPL and PAIF is really hard (not saying that other things aren't!) especially this early on. All the hugs and glad you've joined us! Sorry for my novel...

[IFinTN]

Those first few weeks are riddled with anxiety! I felt like it was a series of TWWs. I wish I had the secret to being zen or being positive during this time but I don't. My mom even tried to bitch me out for being so negative in those early days...not helpful. But the milestone appointments will keep coming and you'll get through it!

FX for your ultrasound. We saw a hb at 6w2d but it had just really started.

[dharmachick]

Welcome and congratulations!! Don't worry, there's plenty of crazy anxiety around here. If you find any secrets to alleviating it, please share! GL at your u/s! I can't share much advice, as my first one is this week, at 6w6d.

[sunnyb]

Welcome! Congratulations!
We did not see their heartbeats at our 5w4d scan. We saw them at the 6w4d scan! What a beautiful sight!
Try not to worry too much if you don't see he heartbeat (easier said than done) because they could have implanted later and it's not supposed to be visible until 6w!

[Aimothy]

Welcome and Congrats!

As everyone else has said, it's really just taking it one day at a time. And sometimes, it's 5 minutes at a time. I was completely anxious until the 20 week anatomy scan, at which point, I was able to relax for longer periods of time. But I'm definitely not breezy about it, even making it to third trimester. It helped me to talk about it with my inner circle of friends, who knew of my past loss/IF history, be able to get out the "bad" thoughts and have my husband reassure me I was likely being irrational (in the most loving way he could, of course!) and to just focus on the making it to the next week.

[ruthie]

Welcome to the board! Being pregnant after a loss is a very scary road to walk, but we are glad to have you here. It's been a long time since my loss, but I still dread each and every ultrasound. It's just really hard.

As far as the ultrasound, my first with the boys was at 6w2d. My RE measured the gestational sac, yolk sac, and fetal pole. He was able to see a flickering heart, but didn't attempt a measurement until 8w. Honestly, I couldn't even see the flicker of one of the twins. With this pregnancy, my OB wanted a dating scan at what I believed to be 5w5d. She only measured the gestational sac- couldn't even get a measurement on the fetal pole, but saw a very clear yolk sac. She could see the flicker around where the fetal pole was, but DH couldn't make it out. She couldn't get a measurement on the heartbeat, as it was so faint. It was within range at the next ultrasound (8w5d). I really tried to go into the appointment with a "we probably won't see the HB, but if we do, that will be nice" attitude. I don't know that I was successful, considering my knees were shaking so bad, the doctor had to put a hand on my leg to steady me.

Hoping for a great appointment for you!

[bluefairy5]

Hey there! So glad you decided to intro here

I had a slew of early u/s due to OHSS, and though they weren't looking at pg specifically, mine at 5w4d (by ER date) showed just the gestational sac and yolk sac, definitely no hint of a h/b. So even though it'll probably be a tall order, if you don't see the h/b yet, as PP have already said, try your best to do yourself a favor and not read into that.

Good description, IFinTN, it's a series of 2WW of varying actual length.

[rachaeleigh]

Wow, thanks so much for the thoughtful responses. I got my ass off of the couch, ran some errands, and called a few people to talk about my crazy.
Tonight I'm going to a meditation/yoga/acupuncture workshop, which was preplanned with a co worker.
I definitely think that keeping busy is helpful!

[julie216]

Congratulations & welcome. IF brain is the worst. Your betas look great....I found the 2ww between last beta an u/s the worse then the 2ww after transfer! Good luck...keeping busy really does help!

[megrae12]

Hey sweetie. Glad to see you here.

[purpledaisy923]

Welcome and congrats! I had my 1st ultrasound at 4 weeks, 3 days. The main purpose of that ultrasound was to determine the number of babies. We saw 2 separate sacs and they both had fetal poles. There were no heartbeats yet because it was so early. I don't think I heard the heartbeats until around 6 or 7 weeks.

[Smootiepie]

Welcome over here, too. Glad everyone else had good stories for you - I'm no help since my first u/s got pushed to 6w6d.

[kmc84]

Congratulations! You've already gotten lots of great advice, so I don't much to add. Our first pg was lost very early, so I understand the anxiety-it's terrible. Our second pg we saw a hb at 6w2d, but we were warned before hand that it might still be too early.

I hope you are here for the long haul! Everything crossed for you!

[cml112]

Welcome!!!

[ginnyjones82]

Congrats and Welcome!! Good luck at you first u/s!

[4paws]

Congrats and welcome! I think we are on the same schedule. My first u/s is the day after yours. Good Luck with it and I really think you will find the support you want here. : )

[jessimi06]

welcome!