Step-mother-in-law and baby shower question

[Stormy61]

If no one on thy IL side has mentioned a shower yet, go ahead and invite them to the one you are having already and if they decide to throw their own they can decline the invite.

[andreap525]

Obviously take this with a grain of salt because I'm sure you'll figure out the best solution for your personal situation. That said, I would absolutely invite your SIL to the hometown shower. If she's interested, maybe you could even consider carpooling together or something!

As for sMIL, you could just broach the subject to her ahead of time. Let her know you'd love for her to be there but understand it's a bit of a hike and she's under no obligation to travel, etc. That's probably what I would do, and have done in somewhat similar situations in the past. Funny story - my DH is actually from a Chicago suburb and moved out here to south mid-MI to be with me back when we were dating.

Anyway... since it's a bit of a drive, you could just talk to them ahead of time so you can gauge how they feel about traveling, or attending two showers.

Good luck! What an unexpectedly tricky situation.

[laurenlou83]

Jan 19, 2015 14:27:58 GMT -5 andreap525 said:

Obviously take this with a grain of salt because I'm sure you'll figure out the best solution for your personal situation. That said, I would absolutely invite your SIL to the hometown shower. If she's interested, maybe you could even consider carpooling together or something!

As for sMIL, you could just broach the subject to her ahead of time. Let her know you'd love for her to be there but understand it's a bit of a hike and she's under no obligation to travel, etc. That's probably what I would do, and have done in somewhat similar situations in the past. Funny story - my DH is actually from a Chicago suburb and moved out here to south mid-MI to be with me back when we were dating.

Anyway... since it's a bit of a drive, you could just talk to them ahead of time so you can gauge how they feel about traveling, or attending two showers.

Good luck! What an unexpectedly tricky situation.

I'm from suburbs of Chicago and moved downtown to the city. My DH moved there from Detroit area and we met. We are now in Grand Rapids area in MI, half way between both of our families

Where in MI are you??

[andreap525]

Jan 19, 2015 14:39:15 GMT -5 laurenlou83 said:

Jan 19, 2015 14:27:58 GMT -5 andreap525 said:

Obviously take this with a grain of salt because I'm sure you'll figure out the best solution for your personal situation. That said, I would absolutely invite your SIL to the hometown shower. If she's interested, maybe you could even consider carpooling together or something!

As for sMIL, you could just broach the subject to her ahead of time. Let her know you'd love for her to be there but understand it's a bit of a hike and she's under no obligation to travel, etc. That's probably what I would do, and have done in somewhat similar situations in the past. Funny story - my DH is actually from a Chicago suburb and moved out here to south mid-MI to be with me back when we were dating.

Anyway... since it's a bit of a drive, you could just talk to them ahead of time so you can gauge how they feel about traveling, or attending two showers.

Good luck! What an unexpectedly tricky situation.

I'm from suburbs of Chicago and moved downtown to the city. My DH moved there from Detroit area and we met. We are now in Grand Rapids area in MI, half way between both of our families

Where in MI are you??

What a great place to be halfway! We live in Jackson and I work in AA. So basically I live in Michigan's butthole. It's lovely! lol

[billyhorrible]

I would assume that you are having one shower. I know it happens, but I don't think it's terribly common for inlaws to throw a shower. If you have a good relationship with your MIL, I would contact her and let her know about the shower, tell her she's invited, and ask if there's anyone she thinks you should include. And you should include anyone from DH's side for this shower. If someone else plans on throwing you another one, they'll let you know, but operate under the assumption that this is it and include anyone who would be hurt not to be part of it.

[laurenlou83]

Jan 19, 2015 14:58:31 GMT -5 billyhorrible said:

I would assume that you are having one shower. I know it happens, but I don't think it's terribly common for in-laws to throw a shower. If you have a good relationship with your MIL, I would contact her and let her know about the shower, tell her she's invited, and ask if there's anyone she thinks you should include. And you should include anyone from DH's side for this shower. If someone else plans on throwing you another one, they'll let you know, but operate under the assumption that this is it and include anyone who would be hurt not to be part of it.

I agree that it isn't common for in-laws or husband's families to throw a shower. I guess this is where I get confused on etiquette and everything. We got married last year and had 2 separate showers. I think mainly this is because DH's family and my family live 6 hours away from each other, and also because his sister and cousins wanted/offered to throw us one. I don't want to "assume" they will do the same for the baby. I just don't want to hurt any feelings, step on any toes and I'd like to keep the situation with sMIL continuing in the right direction!

I will reach out to sMIL, we have a pretty good relationship, and let her know about the IL one and go from there!

[nchauhan]

I second the PP and invite your sMIL and SIL to the one you know you're having for sure. If they don't make the trip, at least they know that you were thinking of them. If, down the road, someone else offers to throw you one, you can make a judgement call and invite them to both or just the one closer to them. Sorry if that makes no sense...I'm typing in between patients at work.