Poll: Proposed Length of Participation Before BFPs?

[URMySunshine77]

Do you believe there should be a TTC > 35 participation time frame (six months, for example) before a member posts a BFP? I would add this language to our welcome message if everyone agrees.

This poll closes on March 25.

[wannabmama]

I can't see a poll? My two cents though...I think it's tricky, some people participate so much right off the bat, after a few months, I'd like to hear about their BFPs. I get that it's obnoxious for someone to come, post a couple times and then BFP, but 6 mo is kind of long? I think maybe three months is a good guideline?

[vh2014]

I agree with wannabmama, it depends on how active you are not how long. I'd say maybe we can utilize the post counter? If you haven't made a minimum number of posts it's probably a bad idea.

[luvmyponies]

I like vh2014's idea... instead of a time frame, how about a minimum number of posts. I just don't want to hear about someone's BFP if I feel like I don't really "know" them.

[aswedishbee]

I voted SS because I agree with the above comments, where the quality rather than length of participation counts more. TTC>35 isn't as sensitive a place as CAL and I came here expecting/hoping that people would graduate quickly. Maybe I expect a lot but I would also think that those posting BFPs wouldn't do so unless completely comfortable doing so (which to me equates to friendships and participation).

[teenybenoit]

I think as long as a member participates and gives support there shouldn't be a time limit to announce BFP.

[manderslvt]

This will probably be a UO, but I'm not sure we should be dictating who can post what and when. I understand that no one (including me) likes drive-by BFP's, but as a newbie, I'd be turned off from getting involved at all if the community was telling me what I'm allowed to post. Could we say something like "Fertility can be a sensitive subject, so please join in and get to know us before sharing your BFP."

[vh2014]

@clgsquared, good point. I do feel like if you participate on the other boards it's the same there so you'd know.. but maybe not.

manderslvt, I think people sometimes question what "getting to know us" is and we are just trying to give guidelines. If the guideline was 50 and someone posted at 49 I wouldn't jump all over them or anything. But it would be helpful to know what defines that somewhat

[boobacat]

This is an interesting thought. I like reading the opinions here because I'm not sure. Usually I just ignore drive-bys but since this is a relatively new forum I don't know as many SNs yet. I'll wait to vote. (Which I can't see a poll on my phone)

[b0710]

I am not trying to be a negative one here, but I feel like the people who post the random drive-by BFPs are the people that are not going to read our guidelines anyways.

I do not personally have a problem with a time and/or post limit, but I'm just not sure the people we would want to pay attention to that will actually pay attention. It reminds me of Runner76 (I think) who would constantly ask google-style questions, but never respond to other people's posts. It didn't matter what other people said, she could not seem to get on board with the participating as a community idea. I think board etiquette is something some people just don't get. I think having the guidelines might be a good idea for some, but I'm not sure exactly what that should look like.

[agpjt413]

Lol b0710!! You read my mind re: runner76!!!

[sunni1]

Just my two cents. I was a member of TB and participated regularly on this board and two others. I just found this site after noticing a lot of the folks I came to know had disappeared. I missed the debacle that had happened in January. I still do not see some of the screen names that I know. A lot of people have changed there name. So what are you basing participation on? I think if you are gonna put a number, you use both boards to determine participation.




~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SIGGY WARNING ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[rnmommy]

I just found you ladies a month ago and it makes me sad to think my bfp wouldn't be welcome if this is my month. I'm trying to be an active participant in our community and am genuinely excited for every bfp I see and pray everyone gets one sooner rather than later. I've been entertained the thought of checking on everyone here regularly if I'm lucky enough to get pregnant again because I'm comfortable here. I find the support I'm looking for without the snark that often borders on cruel on other forums. I think it would be nice for people to consider their audience before posting and would hope people would have enough sense to not make their first post here a bfp post, but most people are idiots, so I understand the reason for this poll.

[URMySunshine77]

I have to agree with b0710 that most people who would post drive-bys probably wouldn't read the newbie link anyway.

Why don't I add a sentence that encourages people to be respectful about not posting a BFP if a member has only been here a short time? I think that most people have a good feeling for when it's appropriate (when they have been around and supported others--even if it's a month). I have a feeling that the membership will grow once Then Comes Family is more publicized, and we'll get more drive-bys.

I'm still irritated by the recent "I'm posting this drive-by BFP to give you hope" on TB.

[wirt2cute]

Mar 19, 2015 17:08:23 GMT -5 URMySunshine77 said:

I have to agree with b0710 that most people who would post drive-bys probably wouldn't read the newbie link anyway.

Why don't I add a sentence that encourages people to be respectful about not posting a BFP if a member has only been here a short time? I think that most people have a good feeling for when it's appropriate (when they have been around and supported others--even if it's a month). I have a feeling that the membership will grow once Then Comes Family is more publicized, and we'll get more drive-bys.

I'm still irritated by the recent "I'm posting this drive-by BFP to give you hope" on TB.

I love this idea URMySunshine77. 

[meredithcarole]

Mar 19, 2015 17:08:23 GMT -5 URMySunshine77 said:

I have to agree with b0710 that most people who would post drive-bys probably wouldn't read the newbie link anyway.

Why don't I add a sentence that encourages people to be respectful about not posting a BFP if a member has only been here a short time? I think that most people have a good feeling for when it's appropriate (when they have been around and supported others--even if it's a month). I have a feeling that the membership will grow once Then Comes Family is more publicized, and we'll get more drive-bys.

I'm still irritated by the recent "I'm posting this drive-by BFP to give you hope" on TB.

I agree with this. If someone is bound and determined to shout it from the rooftops I don't think "caution" verbage will stop them, but I do think there is merit to making others stop and think. One should ask "am I an active member of this community and are these friends who would celebrate with me?" If one can honestly answer to the affirmative, then I don't think an announcement is a bad thing.

[lickwed]

URMySunshine77, I like your idea about a short time rather than post count. The only time it would irritate me is if a person introed during the TWW and then posted a BFP. I would probably still say congrats, but maybe not gif it up. I am coming off a 2nd loss though, and I'm in a different place than most of us so feel free to take this with a grain of salt.

winogirl I just have not had a chance to gif you up yet, but I will.

rnmommy I think if you are here at the start of a cycle and get a BFP, you are probably good to go, and I expect a BFP post from you when it happens.

URMySunshine77,wannabmama,vh2014,luvmyponies,aswedishbee,teenybenoit,manderslvt,boobacat,b0710,agpjt413, wirt2cute,meredithcarole, I would expect BFP posts from you gals as well.

[vh2014]

URMySunshine77, I think that's a great idea. Sounds wonderful.

lickwed, BFP is a little ways off for me. I'll just be happy to post in the TWW when I finally O. LOL. But if I ever get it, there will be some self giffing and ridiculous AWing. haha. I am asking you all for your forgiveness in advance. Heck... there may be some giffing if I ever get AF. LOL

[tez]

What if we created a board for BFPs? If I am the type of person who would want to hear about your BFP, I would go looking for it. I would notice that I haven't seen you posting and I would look you up.

[boobacat]

Mar 19, 2015 17:08:23 GMT -5 URMySunshine77 said:

I have to agree with b0710 that most people who would post drive-bys probably wouldn't read the newbie link anyway.

Why don't I add a sentence that encourages people to be respectful about not posting a BFP if a member has only been here a short time? I think that most people have a good feeling for when it's appropriate (when they have been around and supported others--even if it's a month). I have a feeling that the membership will grow once Then Comes Family is more publicized, and we'll get more drive-bys.

I'm still irritated by the recent "I'm posting this drive-by BFP to give you hope" on TB.

Still irritated as well- there were 2 almost back to back :/

[b0710]

Mar 20, 2015 10:14:08 GMT -5 boobacat said:

Mar 19, 2015 17:08:23 GMT -5 URMySunshine77 said:

I have to agree with b0710 that most people who would post drive-bys probably wouldn't read the newbie link anyway.

Why don't I add a sentence that encourages people to be respectful about not posting a BFP if a member has only been here a short time? I think that most people have a good feeling for when it's appropriate (when they have been around and supported others--even if it's a month). I have a feeling that the membership will grow once Then Comes Family is more publicized, and we'll get more drive-bys.

I'm still irritated by the recent "I'm posting this drive-by BFP to give you hope" on TB.

Still irritated as well- there were 2 almost back to back :/


Hmm.  I don't check TB anymore....maybe it's a good thing.  That is annoying.

[URMySunshine77]

I just added the following text to the message. Please let me know if any of you have concerns about wording or grammar!


Our community always wants members to conceive. We kindly ask, however, that you be respectful about not posting a BFP announcement if you have only been here a very short time. Thank you for understanding.

We wish you good luck--wherever you are on your journey!

[URMySunshine77]

Mar 20, 2015 7:37:49 GMT -5 vh2014 said:

URMySunshine77, I think that's a great idea. Sounds wonderful.

lickwed, BFP is a little ways off for me. I'll just be happy to post in the TWW when I finally O. LOL. But if I ever get it, there will be some self giffing and ridiculous AWing. haha. I am asking you all for your forgiveness in advance. Heck... there may be some giffing if I ever get AF. LOL

vh2014, I would be so ticked if you didn't post an announcement! I always hate when old timers fade off without a BFP announcement in GKU. 

ETA: And by "old timers" I mean regs. 

[lickwed]

vh2014 I will start actively searching now for the perfect AF finally came gif.

[KirstenAlecia]

Mar 19, 2015 20:50:50 GMT -5 meredithcarole said:

Mar 19, 2015 17:08:23 GMT -5 URMySunshine77 said:

I have to agree with b0710 that most people who would post drive-bys probably wouldn't read the newbie link anyway.

Why don't I add a sentence that encourages people to be respectful about not posting a BFP if a member has only been here a short time? I think that most people have a good feeling for when it's appropriate (when they have been around and supported others--even if it's a month). I have a feeling that the membership will grow once Then Comes Family is more publicized, and we'll get more drive-bys.

I'm still irritated by the recent "I'm posting this drive-by BFP to give you hope" on TB.

I agree with this. If someone is bound and determined to shout it from the rooftops I don't think "caution" verbage will stop them, but I do think there is merit to making others stop and think. One should ask "am I an active member of this community and are these friends who would celebrate with me?" If one can honestly answer to the affirmative, then I don't think an announcement is a bad thing.

THIS

[manderslvt]

Mar 20, 2015 23:30:47 GMT -5 URMySunshine77 said:

I just added the following text to the message. Please let me know if any of you have concerns about wording or grammar!


Our community always wants members to conceive. We kindly ask, however, that you be respectful about not posting a BFP announcement if you have only been here a very short time. Thank you for understanding.

We wish you good luck--wherever you are on your journey!

I like it. It's respectful toward newer members, while asking for respect in return.

[nikolie93]

Mar 20, 2015 23:30:47 GMT -5 URMySunshine77 said:

I just added the following text to the message. Please let me know if any of you have concerns about wording or grammar!


Our community always wants members to conceive. We kindly ask, however, that you be respectful about not posting a BFP announcement if you have only been here a very short time. Thank you for understanding.

We wish you good luck--wherever you are on your journey!

I'm late to the game, sorry! I like this.

[vh2014]

URMySunshine77, Like the wording. NO need to worry about me disappearing without an announcement. If it's a BFP there will be an obnoxiously AW thread where I may break ettiquete and throw my own GIF party. hahahahahaha...

lickwed,can't wait to see what you've found (in more ways than one LOL). FF gave me crosshairs yesterday... but of course temp went down a little today (though not beneath the cover line) so I'm suspicious it may be drunk. Showed the acupuncturist and she thought maybe... so we'll see in about 9 days if it doesn't drop again before then. FF has gotten me on this one before so not buying it until AF or BFP anymore.