PM me with any BFing questions you have. I'm working on my IBCLC so I'll be happy to help. I also won't judge you if you say, "Shut up, whore, I want to formula feed from day one!" I'm cool like that.
and I know you don't know me....but I went through hell trying to bf and learned a TON in the process...I'm here if you have questions too.
Post by fuzzylogic on Mar 19, 2015 16:18:11 GMT -5
Take my opinion for whatever it's worth to you:
I have never been offended by people's siggies, and you all know I had a loss. Other people's lives aren't about mine, and I was able to be happy for them even when I wasn't happy in my own situation. If we all had to stifle our joy it would be a very quiet world.
Can I ask why a pregnancy ticker is a problem? Is it because pregnancy is what we're trying to achieve here so seeing that others are pregnant might be hard?
But, other siggies have kids in them. Isn't that what we're ultimately trying to do here? Other siggies with kids and losses are NOT censored. I don't see why we need to censor pregnancy tickers.
EDITed because my fingers are slower than my brain.
Can I ask why a pregnancy ticker is a problem? Is it because pregnancy is what we're trying to achieve here so seeing that others are pregnant might be hard?
But, other siggies have kids in them. Isn't that what we're ultimately trying to do here? Other siggies with kids and losses are NOT censored. I don't see why we need to censor pregnancy tickers.
EDITed because my fingers are slower than my brain.
i sometimes wonder how much of DS I am allowed to share...like is he a "censored" topic? Ya know? I don't like the feeling of oppression that comes with that line of thinking. Yes, many of us have IF diagnosis and are struggling to conceive. But, if the struggle is that bad and just real life of encountering people who are pregnant or have kids is that hard, that person probably needs to be on 3tif and possibly considering seeking counseling. As much as we want to be courteous of others and sensitive to their struggles, we can't hide our joys and pains either. We can't help one another if we aren't open and honest.
I'm just here to give love-tits and then to say...
THIS DOESN'T GO HERE!!! WTO! TWW! NEWBIE PLAYDATE! NO DRIVEBY BFPS!!!!!!!!eleventy!!!!11!1!!!
jk. I don't care. I just try to be funny sometimes.
I mean, I do care, but in general nothing over here on TCF has truly offended or bothered me, I love you all, I love the drinking threads (obvi), and it's deader than a doornail around here lately, especially on the weekends, so let's most definitely liven things up with some more threads and letting the pregglies come play or something. Sheeeesh.
Can I ask why a pregnancy ticker is a problem? Is it because pregnancy is what we're trying to achieve here so seeing that others are pregnant might be hard?
But, other siggies have kids in them. Isn't that what we're ultimately trying to do here? Other siggies with kids and losses are NOT censored. I don't see why we need to censor pregnancy tickers.
EDITed because my fingers are slower than my brain.
I think this is something we should make clear in this discussion. I don't claim to speak for the group, especially because I already have 2 kids. I think joy and I are a good team at representing the different ends of the spectrum. I, personally, am comfortable with siggies that include pregnancy tickers. But it would be good to hear from the group to see how the majority feels. It seems like most of us are okay with the pregglies continuing to post though.
I'm struggling to think of who got BFPs recently, but people like fuzzylogic, hobbesgal, frankenboom, and everyone else should be able to stick around. They are valuable members that know their shit and contributed to the group.
I'm behind, but +1. I got worried for a minute that everyone would leave! They should still be able to hang out and offer their wit and humor and expertise.
Can I ask why a pregnancy ticker is a problem? Is it because pregnancy is what we're trying to achieve here so seeing that others are pregnant might be hard?
But, other siggies have kids in them. Isn't that what we're ultimately trying to do here? Other siggies with kids and losses are NOT censored. I don't see why we need to censor pregnancy tickers.
EDITed because my fingers are slower than my brain.
I think this is something we should make clear in this discussion. I don't claim to speak for the group, especially because I already have 2 kids. I think joy and I are a good team at representing the different ends of the spectrum. I, personally, am comfortable with siggies that include pregnancy tickers. But it would be good to hear from the group to see how the majority feels. It seems like most of us are okay with the pregglies continuing to post though.
Should we poll this? My clicky skills are rustin' up in here.
As a relative newbie, this post made me sigh in relief. I've been here a few months, but have felt like the only place I could post was the WTO/TWW threads. I'm on the west coast, so by the time I get on here the more popular threads are so far in!
Also, I was really surprised by how strict the boards had gotten. I was slightly active on TTGP when I got pregnant with DD (though I lurked a lot) and when I came back it felt like such a different place (which is natural, but the direction it went was where I was surprised). The board policing was insane and I too felt like everything had to be put in its little box, which made for a more slow board.
I'm looking forward to see more threads with legitimate questions and heck, even more flaming if it deserves it!
Can I ask why a pregnancy ticker is a problem? Is it because pregnancy is what we're trying to achieve here so seeing that others are pregnant might be hard?
But, other siggies have kids in them. Isn't that what we're ultimately trying to do here? Other siggies with kids and losses are NOT censored. I don't see why we need to censor pregnancy tickers.
EDITed because my fingers are slower than my brain.
I think this is something we should make clear in this discussion. I don't claim to speak for the group, especially because I already have 2 kids. I think joy and I are a good team at representing the different ends of the spectrum. I, personally, am comfortable with siggies that include pregnancy tickers. But it would be good to hear from the group to see how the majority feels. It seems like most of us are okay with the pregglies continuing to post though.
As someone at the complete other end of the spectrum (no kids, no idea if it will ever happen), pregnancy tickers don't bother me, either. I have bad days, but I have a refuge in TTTC, where siggies are hidden and things are really careful. I appreciate that.
I don't think GKU should be TTTC-lite. I think it should just be. Let anyone post. Don't hide siggies.
PM me with any BFing questions you have. I'm working on my IBCLC so I'll be happy to help. I also won't judge you if you say, "Shut up, whore, I want to formula feed from day one!" I'm cool like that.
Can I ask why a pregnancy ticker is a problem? Is it because pregnancy is what we're trying to achieve here so seeing that others are pregnant might be hard?
But, other siggies have kids in them. Isn't that what we're ultimately trying to do here? Other siggies with kids and losses are NOT censored. I don't see why we need to censor pregnancy tickers.
EDITed because my fingers are slower than my brain.
I think this is something we should make clear in this discussion. I don't claim to speak for the group, especially because I already have 2 kids. I think joy and I are a good team at representing the different ends of the spectrum. I, personally, am comfortable with siggies that include pregnancy tickers. But it would be good to hear from the group to see how the majority feels. It seems like most of us are okay with the pregglies continuing to post though.
It doesn't really bother me other than when someone I know is already 20 wks along and I'm like "fuckkkk I'm still here". But I don't cry or anything and looking at the calendar could theoretically do the same thing.
I think this is something we should make clear in this discussion. I don't claim to speak for the group, especially because I already have 2 kids. I think joy and I are a good team at representing the different ends of the spectrum. I, personally, am comfortable with siggies that include pregnancy tickers. But it would be good to hear from the group to see how the majority feels. It seems like most of us are okay with the pregglies continuing to post though.
As someone at the complete other end of the spectrum (no kids, no idea if it will ever happen), pregnancy tickers don't bother me, either. I have bad days, but I have a refuge in TTTC, where siggies are hidden and things are really careful. I appreciate that.
I don't think GKU should be TTTC-lite. I think it should just be. Let anyone post. Don't hide siggies.
But, this is my opinion.
This x100. I feel like those (myself included somedays) that are having hard times TTC either hang out mostly on 3T/IF where things are more careful, or they disable siggies for that day/week/whatever.
I think this is something we should make clear in this discussion. I don't claim to speak for the group, especially because I already have 2 kids. I think joy and I are a good team at representing the different ends of the spectrum. I, personally, am comfortable with siggies that include pregnancy tickers. But it would be good to hear from the group to see how the majority feels. It seems like most of us are okay with the pregglies continuing to post though.
As someone at the complete other end of the spectrum (no kids, no idea if it will ever happen), pregnancy tickers don't bother me, either. I have bad days, but I have a refuge in TTTC, where siggies are hidden and things are really careful. I appreciate that.
I don't think GKU should be TTTC-lite. I think it should just be. Let anyone post. Don't hide siggies.
But, this is my opinion.
Can I just say that I wish you made it easier to stalk your ute. Not that I secretly sit around and wish for incredibly cute and genius joy babies. Psh. That would be weird... ::cough cough::
Post by easilyunamused on Mar 19, 2015 16:37:16 GMT -5
I'm glad that this is being discussed. I do think all of the "rules" about where to post have stopped lurkers from posting and have slowed the board down. Since we do not have the hits like TD did right now, I'm also on board with the ladies who are pregnant to be able to stay here.
Since it was just the norm in TD for them to leave for their bmb I never gave it too much thought. All are welcome! Siggys do not bother me, but I could see how they might effect some posters here on a bad TTC day.
Wait, is it effect or affect in that sentence. My brain is not working.
It doesn't really bother me other than when someone I know is already 20 wks along and I'm like "fuckkkk I'm still here". But I don't cry or anything and looking at the calendar could theoretically do the same thing.
TL;DR: I'm fine with it.
Oh, I agree that this is absolutely frustrating. Sometimes the grad thread is a little bit like "Holy fuck, you're how far along? I'm still here, yup."
But, I think it's made worse by not seeing these people all the time. They kind of drift away and then it's BAM! Grad thread becomes this overwhelming waterfall of favorite names and heavy tickers. It would be easier if we saw them all the time.
Can I ask why a pregnancy ticker is a problem? Is it because pregnancy is what we're trying to achieve here so seeing that others are pregnant might be hard?
But, other siggies have kids in them. Isn't that what we're ultimately trying to do here? Other siggies with kids and losses are NOT censored. I don't see why we need to censor pregnancy tickers.
EDITed because my fingers are slower than my brain.
i sometimes wonder how much of DS I am allowed to share...like is he a "censored" topic? Ya know? I don't like the feeling of oppression that comes with that line of thinking. Yes, many of us have IF diagnosis and are struggling to conceive. But, if the struggle is that bad and just real life of encountering people who are pregnant or have kids is that hard, that person probably needs to be on 3tif and possibly considering seeking counseling. As much as we want to be courteous of others and sensitive to their struggles, we can't hide our joys and pains either. We can't help one another if we aren't open and honest.
I wonder that too. But if I try to refrain from mentioning Smudge too much, I'll have nothing to talk about. My life is very dull.
Can I just say that I wish you made it easier to stalk your ute. Not that I secretly sit around and wish for incredibly cute and genius joy babies. Psh. That would be weird... ::cough cough::
Hahahaha!
I like processing my own issues before displaying them to the board. Other people seeing that I'm 10 DPO and asking if I had tested yet would stress me the fuck out.
But, hey! I keep you updated on how many failed cycles I've had. I even added colorful words this time.
Speaking of, when do we vote on the next Book Club book? I don't even know how far behind I am. I read The Red Tent but probably missed the discussion.
Post by anonymouseliza on Mar 19, 2015 16:44:36 GMT -5
You're not alone in your opinion, joy. While I absolutely understand how it can sting/feel bad/suck if you are still here or returning after a loss, I don't think this is CAL or 3T/IF. Moreover, we have a handy option that allows sigs to be turned off on the reader's end, which makes me think it should be an individual's decision.
I mean this with due respect for people dealing with the shit-tastic side of ttc. If the majority felt otherwise, I would abide by that.
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