Prayers and Wwyd (warning sad)

[bantyrooster]

H's cousin found out Tuesday she has a stage 4 glioblastoma. This is a death sentence. Clinically adults with a medium range tumor live 14.6 months. 30% live 2 years and 10% live 5 years. That is with treatment. Without treatment survival is about 4 months. Her tumor is the size of a softball.

Treatment is surgery, which she had but they couldn't take much out at all. These tumors vine out and you can't just cut chunks of brain out. Chemo and radiation.

She is opting for treatment, but it got me thinking about what I would do. Since I have the kids I would 100% have treatment. BUT I honesty don't know if I would if I was single. Chemo and radiation suck and to keep the tumor to a manageable size you would have to do it the whole time and you would still die. I think I would travel, quit my job and spend time with loved ones.

So any good vibes and prayers to ease her pain and increase the quality of life she has left are appreciated. Also wwyd in the situation? Would it be different if you didn't have kids?

[starfishy]

What an awful diagnosis. Prayers to your family and H's family.
I've thought about this before. It's such a hard decision. I don't want my children to see me suffer, but I don't want them to see me give up either.
So to me it would be based on what Quality of life I had left. As with you I would definitely be making memories for my children and family.

[britbratjf]

That's terrible

It's a hard call. On one hand I would want to feel well enough to enjoy the rest of my time with my kids but on the other hand I would want more time. Chemo is terrible and to have to undergo all that & know it won't save your life? Ugh that is a tough call. I feel like I would want to take my kids on a kickass vacation and make memories rather than spend the last few months of my life in a hospital bed.

[britbratjf]

Oh. And I think if I didn't have kids I would still want to travel instead of a hospital bed. It'd be one thing if they gave some kind of hope but if not I dot think the extra months would be worth it. Does the cousin have children?

[bantyrooster]

Mar 19, 2015 16:57:59 GMT -5 britbratjf said:

Oh. And I think if I didn't have kids I would still want to travel instead of a hospital bed. It'd be one thing if they gave some kind of hope but if not I dot think the extra months would be worth it. Does the cousin have children?

No kids and never married.

[mrsrek10]

I have seen how rough chemo and radiation can be on a person but I would also have to compare it to how they say my 4 months would be with the tumor growing. If both would cause me to be bedridden... it would be a harder choice. If the chemo would just make me feel bad for a few days but bounce back between treatments, I would def want more time.

Truly, I hope and pray I never have to make this decision! It is really hard for me to even pretend to think about.

I am so sorry for her diagnosis! How old is she? Does she have kids?

[bantyrooster]

mrsrek10 no kids and in her 30"s

[sarahandeddie]

Prayers for your family. What an awful situation.

I would 100% do treatment and fight as much as I could. I'd want the extra time with my girls. I recently had a friend who died from pancreatic cancer and she left behind a 2yr old daughter. She fought like everything for her little girl. She is a personal inspiration to me.

I'd probably do the same even if I was single. I wouldn't want to give up when a life saving treatment could be discovered tomorrow.

[xanthepants]

I'm so sorry for her diagnosis. I'd go for treatment. I watched my aunt go thru years fighting for her life with cancer riddling so many parts of her body including her brain. She's my hero. My dad died before he was ever given the chance of treatment. I know that even on her worst days my aunt found life worth living, and I believe that to be true.

[bantyrooster]

I think it hits even harder being in the field I am. The last glio patient I had was 7 and they life flighted him in and even after relieving his brain pressure I watched him die. It was one of the main reasons I left peds. I still can see his mom, that was 7 years ago. Glio's are pretty much a bunch of different cancer cells so one treatment will kill some cells but not others and vs versa. So its hard to stay ahead of. It is pushing on her frontal lobe so she doesn't eat, sleeps a lot, ect. She is being strong but it is just so scary. I don't think family has really excepted or fully realized the prognosis. I also hate being the one that when the dust settles they ask questions to.

[xanthepants]

bantyrooster, I'm sorry, that would be a really difficult position to be in. Hugs to you. It's all so darn depressing and there is no sense to any of it.

[snickers4everyone]

I'm so sorry to hear about this. Definitely sending prayers.

5 or 10 years ago, I would have said I would do treatment, no question. Now I hope I would be strong enough to opt for treatment and fight for the extra time with my family. But as someone else already mentioned, it would probably depend on my quality of life. I've lived with various conditions that cause severe chronic pain for a while now though, and there are days when I'm embarrassed to say that I break down and cry from the overwhelming thought that this is my new normal. That THIS is what I can expect to feel for the rest of my life. It's those dark moments that make me question whether I would have the strength of will to battle something terminal...when I'm so weak of spirit in the face of non-life-threatening pain. I hope it's never a choice I have to make. I hope I'd choose to fight for more time.

[nursedesi]

Ugh. So sorry to hear about this. I'll keep her and your family in my t&p.

I would hope that I could fight, but at the same time I wouldn't want my children watch me suffer. You know how hard chemo and radiation is on your body. Especially for the inevitable. Maybe if I didnt fight they wouldn't have to see sick and sad me. Just remember happy fun me. Probably a lot would have to deal with their age and how much they would remember of the time I had left.

I really hope I never have to make this decision.

[roo1582]

Keeping your family in my T&P's.

That is an extremely tough situation. I think I would totally fight because I would want that extra time with my family. Also, I think I would always have that "What if" thought in my head if I didn't. I would worry about my quality of life, but at the same time, I would want my kids seeing me fighting for them, not just giving up if there is even the most minuscule chance. I can honestly see both sides of the story here and I hope I never have to make that decision.

[jennmm]

Mar 19, 2015 16:15:39 GMT -5 bantyrooster said:

H's cousin found out Tuesday she has a stage 4 glioblastoma. This is a death sentence. Clinically adults with a medium range tumor live 14.6 months. 30% live 2 years and 10% live 5 years. That is with treatment. Without treatment survival is about 4 months. Her tumor is the size of a softball.

Treatment is surgery, which she had but they couldn't take much out at all. These tumors vine out and you can't just cut chunks of brain out. Chemo and radiation.

She is opting for treatment, but it got me thinking about what I would do. Since I have the kids I would 100% have treatment. BUT I honesty don't know if I would if I was single. Chemo and radiation suck and to keep the tumor to a manageable size you would have to do it the whole time and you would still die. I think I would travel, quit my job and spend time with loved ones.

So any good vibes and prayers to ease her pain and increase the quality of life she has left are appreciated. Also wwyd in the situation? Would it be different if you didn't have kids?

Praying for your entire family! So sorry for this news.

[trixi282]

I'm so sorry your family is dealing with this, what a horrible prognosis for your aunt.  It must be extremely difficult being the person they all run to for answers to their questions too.  I'll be praying for her and your entire family.

Given the same situation, I would really have to gauge where I was in my life.  If I were single, no kids, I would live my life out and go places I had always wanted to see, spend as much time with all of my friends and family as I could, and just enjoy the time I had left.  I think if it were while my children were small I would 100% do the treatment and fight my ass off all the while trying my hardest to create memories with them (tearing up, damn it)... if they were older, I would think about the options and the time we had. I would want to create as many memories as we could and make sure they understood how much they meant to me and let them know why I made the decisions I did (whether for/against treatment).

[irish1213]

Terrible news. Very sorry and sending many prayers for a strong and successful fight.

[USCgirl]

bantyrooster, late to the game. I am very sorry to hear such a young person has to make such difficult decisions. You are all in our T&Ps. No one should have to suffer.

I was in a similar situation right before I had LO. My sister, who was only 20, was diagnosed with clear cell sarcoma. That would only have given her 5 years. Long story short, she had her tumor removed at UCLA and thankfully (by the grace of God) it turned out to be mostly benign. I still remember the shock and denial, so I totally know what her family must be going through.

I pray that she has more good days than bad and that she is able to enjoy the time she has left.

On a side note, snickers4everyone, I did not know you suffer with a chronic condition. I am sorry to hear that.

[snickers4everyone]

USCgirl, thank you. It's not something I particularly like to talk about. So many have much worse conditions and life issues. Complaining about hurting when someone else is having a much harder time just seems wrong, you know?