Poll - Positive Thinking

[anonymouseliza]

Prefacing this with a little disclaimer - I am not at all leaning towards the idea that you can will yourself to be pregnant by positive thinking or anything like that.  Just generally ruminating on the nature of fate and the universe or whatever.

[GoBigOrGoGnome]

I am optimistic for others but more pragmatic when it comes to my own life. I never want to get my hopes up just to have them dashed, so I try to prepare myself for the worst.

[ghostmonkey]

[thechickencoop]

I don't think being optimistic and being realistic are mutually exclusive so while I am definitely a 'glass half full' type of person, I don't have blind expectations. And, I mean, this is for pretty much anything, not necessarily TTC.

[anonymouseliza]

I am pretty much the opposite of a positive thinker. I've been thinking about this a lot in relation to work. Things were so bad a few months ago that I dreaded going in, was afraid of the phone ringing, and cried nearly every day. The depths of misery to which I plunged were not good - keeping that from dragging down every single aspect my life was a Herculean task and I was pretty miserable to be around, apparently. I couldn't really be positive about things. Someone asked me if the constant bitching was doing anything to help, and I honestly thought it was, but I reigned it in for awhile. And while it didn't change the shitshow that was my job, my attitude did improve some, and some things got easier to bear.

So maybe there is something in it. But I don't believe that me shutting up instead of bitching led to a resignation which led to an opening for the perfect transition place for me. So I don't think I believe in positive thinking as a cure all, but I think there may be enough to push me to make a better, real effort to look for silver linings and the good without dismissing something out of hand.

[anonymouseliza]

I once told someone that not only is my glass half-empty, I'm pretty sure if I look closely, I'll find microscopic cracks, and do they even know what the breakage rate is on glasses of that shape and size? And have we discussed what is in the glass, because it seems like an important component, possibly more so than whether or not semantics make me feel better about half my drink being gone.

So.

[nuggetrn]

Mar 19, 2015 22:19:43 GMT -5 @bloodyjack87 said:

I think positive thinking definitely has its place and can make you feel better about your situation, but I don't think it really changes anything except your outlook.

I agree with this... But to take it a step further, changing your outlook can change the situation. If you are angry about a situation and instead choose to think positively about it and then therefore productively work through it you will likely have a better outcome.

Not touching on this in relation to pregnancy though.

[ghostmonkey]

Mar 19, 2015 22:25:13 GMT -5 anonymouseliza said:

I once told someone that not only is my glass half-empty, I'm pretty sure if I look closely, I'll find microscopic cracks, and do they even know what the breakage rate is on glasses of that shape and size? And have we discussed what is in the glass, because it seems like an important component, possibly more so than whether or not semantics make me feel better about half my drink being gone.

So.

[ghostmonkey]

Mar 19, 2015 22:36:45 GMT -5 @wineandcupcakes said:

I'm negative. It's not a small water stain - it's a $10,000 water issue. It's not a headache - it's a brain tumor and so on.

I used think my negative thinking prepared me for the worst case scenario, but instead, I'm usually spending incredible amounts of time worrying about things that never happen.

I'm trying to work on it.

I don't have an issue with the muscle in my back that causes my shoulder to hurt, I've been having a slow heart attack for the last 15 months.

[♪♫choppinbroccoli♫♪]

I tend to think more negatively. It's easier for me to be sarcastic that way. I agree with GoBigOrGoGnome about being optimistic for others, though.

[helloerrbody]

I do not think positive thinking can change "fate" or "make things happen," but I do completely believe that positive thinking and a positive outlook can greatly affect your life, how you feel, etc. That doesn't mean I'm all sunshines and rainbows when stuff is genuinely shitty, but I think complaining about petty stuff can be detrimental (<--probably too strong of a word) to yourself and those around you.

My 91-year-old grandma is the most positive person I have ever met and she still works (swears she loves her job, she definitely doesn't need the income), is very active, travels, volunteers at the elementary school, etc. I can't help but believe her positivity has contributed to her amazing mental and physical health.

[FrancesHouseman]

I think that staying positive frees up your energy to look for a solution to your problem - clearly not every problem, but a positive outlook affects how you assess your options.

And even if you don't believe that, staying positive is a much more pleasant way to live - no matter what the situation.

I like the idea of a gratitude journal where you write down something positive everyday - I've never followed through with it and actually done it, but I can see the benefit of helping to refocus your energy.

[singingsea]

I'm a realist. I don't believe in positive thinking attracting positive outcomes a la the secret. HATE that book.

[shemarie82]

I am an optimist, and I try to look at the positive things in life always. It is better for my personal well being. It is a cycle, I get sick when I am stressed, I get stressed when I am sick. It is miserable for everyone around me.

That being said, shitty things happen to good people, shitty things happen to shitty people. I will not pretend that being positive will in any way protect me from shitty things. I just try to keep those things in perspective as much as possible.

[cabgirl]

I do think positive thinking can influence a positive outcome, but not in the straightforward way you'd think. Positive thinking has a positive influence on mood, and when your mood is more positive, you're more likely to work harder towards your goal (whatever it is) and less likely to get discouraged and give up, or to half-ass it. Obviously that increased effort and enthusiasm equals greater odds of your work paying off.

And yes, I do think this could possibly relate to TTC, though to a very limited extent. If I'm happy and thinking positively, I'm more likely to have lots of sex with my husband (and for him to want to have lots of sex with me). If I'm thinking negatively, I'm depressed and in a bad mood, and at best I'm having less frequent, more forced, baby-making sex with my husband. More sex = higher odds for pregnancy. Positive thinking obviously isn't going to take you far as far as the desired outcome is concerned, though, since it's still possible to have all the sex in the world for months on end and not get pregnant, regardless of your attitude.

[Ray]

I am a logical person so when bad things happen I use logic to convince myself how *really* xyz is not the en of the world, this is how I could fix it, these are the consequences. Outwardly I am optimistic and positive because that helps my students and coworker get out of funks /relieves stress/whatever.

ETA this does not however work for me with TTC. Every month I get afraid that something is wrong with me even though I KNOW it can take a healthy couple blah blah.... I know. That part of my rain is irrational.

[risscaboobs]

I do think that my optimism has gotten me certain things in life, but only because it allows me to keep my chin up and not give up when I otherwise may have.

[zombiesquad]

Overall, I consider myself to be an optimistic person. But, I'm also realistic. I try to see something positive in most situations, but if I know a positive outcome isn't going to happen, positive thinking isn't going to change anything. But my optimism does help me cope when bad things hapoen.

[icequeen]

All my life, I have been very negative, pessimistic, had a bad attitude, and been critical of myself and sometimes others. It's been a big road block in my life that's prevented me from feeling joy, contentment, and love. I agree with being realistic and not expecting that just because you think a certain way you will magically get what you want. I know it is not that simple, and if I'm presented with a situation I usually look at it from all sides. My husband is the perfect combination of realist, pessimist, and optimist, and the one that I confide in, so he will tell me when I am being irrational, negative, and hopeless. More often than not, I am. It is definitely something that I am consistently working on in therapy. There is one quote that absolutely changed my life and hasn't failed me since I started believing in it. I live by it now. Henry Ford said, "Whether you think you can, or you think you cannot, either way you are right." It is SO true for me. If I think I can do something and put my whole heart into it and all of my determination and willpower, I always succeed. Always. If I have even one doubt or hesitation and am not in 100%, then it won't happen.

[squeakyduck]

I think that positive thinking can help a person not feel as bad about a sucky situation. I have a coworker who is so negative about everything that she makes work harder and unpleasant for herself. When someone is out and we're busy, she bitches about it all day long, and resents whoever is out sick. I prefer to just think about how awesome I am and how I'm rocking it. It makes life much more pleasant. It obviously doesn't happen every time, and I get grumpy and resentful sometimes, but being positive helps a lot.

[samanthasays]

I always tell my husband "You might not be able to control the situation, but you can control how you feel about it" IF sucks, so so hard. I don't think that staying positive will get me pregnant any faster, but it will make the journey a little less shitty, so for me personally it is worth it to do everything in my power to stay positive.

I do strongly believe in the power of energy, not in The Secret kind of way, I am not sold on the idea that it can affect external circumstances, but your perception of the circumstances is so powerful. We have all seen miserable rich people and happy, content people that are financially struggling. I want to be the person that makes the best of where I am at, but it takes daily effort for me (and help from "weird" things like aura cleansing, sage smudging, crystals, meditation, and so on). I do think there are some things that can be "cured" with energy and intentionality. Like mild headaches, mild anxiety (not clinical), mild muscle aches and pains. I can actually lower my pulse "on command" thanks to a decade+ of yoga and meditation. I am pretty sure it is accurate that some people can learn to "beat" a lie detector test. I think we have more control over our bodies than many of us believe.

[Sparkly]

I feel like I need more than one vote. I do kind of believe in the power of attraction - but not in a, oh if I am happy all the time only good things will happen. I actually tend to be more of a pessimist or realist by nature, but consciously work to be more positive and optimistic, and when I do, I see positive change in my life. Do I think I can positively think myself into getting things (like, oh I dunno, pregnant)? Nope. It doesn't really work that way for me. Do I think having a positive attitude can make the journey easier to getting something I want or allow me to see good things happening that I otherwise might have missed if I were being too negative along the way? Yes. Does this make sense? I don't know if I'm making sense, but I guess what I'm saying is there is some power in positivity, but it's not going to make you win the lottery or never make a mistake or get everything you want right now right this minute, if you know what I mean.

[anonymouseliza]

This is really interesting to read through. Thanks, y'all.

Less flippantly than above, I'm not wired to positivity, I'm wired to worry and negativity. I never learned an off-switch for those. And I'm practical/a realist, so I've never warmed to the idea of willing positivity or calling a pile of shit an opportunity for fertilizer or something. It doesn't compute.

But I am slowly learning how to reduce the negativity and immediate negative reactions and I think I'm seeing positive benefits from that. I think learning to indulge in less negativity is going to be a good thing for me - but it is separate from anxiety and depression (though still linked).

[setsuna17]

I have anxiety, so my mind tends to go to the worst things, but I'm trying to work at being more positive. I'm in the camp that it doesn't necessarily makes things better, but helps you deal with the bad things in a better way. All I know is that I can bitch about something forever, and though it makes me feel a bit better for a tiny bit, shit stays the same. I don't want to get in that cycle. I want to work towards making things better. Do I think that me thinking positively will get me KU? Nah. But neither will thinking that I will never will.

[Sparkly]

Mar 20, 2015 12:17:43 GMT -5 anonymouseliza said:

This is really interesting to read through. Thanks, y'all.

Less flippantly than above, I'm not wired to positivity, I'm wired to worry and negativity. I never learned an off-switch for those. And I'm practical/a realist, so I've never warmed to the idea of willing positivity or calling a pile of shit an opportunity for fertilizer or something. It doesn't compute.

But I am slowly learning how to reduce the negativity and immediate negative reactions and I think I'm seeing positive benefits from that. I think learning to indulge in less negativity is going to be a good thing for me - but it is separate from anxiety and depression (though still linked).

This is totally me (and I too suffer from depression and anxiety) and it really does make such a difference for me.