Post by mustloveerica on Mar 20, 2015 10:15:43 GMT -5
So I'm standing in the bathroom at work trying not to cry. My job stresses me out immensely. My employers are basically forcing us to work 60 hour weeks. We are salary so we only get paid for 40 a week. They never show any sort of gratitude for the time and effort we put in. And our work is never good enough.
DH says I can quit. But our original agreement is I will quit when we have a baby. Something about being a stay at home wife would make me feel like I wasn't contributing enough to the family and I think I would be bored. Kudos to any SAHW here though (I'm secretly jealous).
So since I'm feeling sorry for myself, I'd like to hear from those that love their jobs.
If you love your job, why? What makes you passionate about your career?
If you like your job but don't love it, what makes you stay?
Post by youdontsay on Mar 20, 2015 10:17:35 GMT -5
Unfortunately I don't love my job and I know what you're going through so I'm sending you HUGE creepy Internet hugs. Seriously it's like I wrote your post.
Post by peaseblossom55 on Mar 20, 2015 10:20:01 GMT -5
I'm so sorry you are unhappy with your job right now. I've been there and it sucks.
If you love your job, why? What makes you passionate about your career? I love it. It's a new project in the firm I work for. So it's pretty high profile too. I love that it is new and challenging and I've been a part of the creating process too. I think it helps a lot that I love the team I work with.
If you like your job but don't love it, what makes you stay? n/a
If you don't like your job, what is your dream? I still wish I could be a professional actress
I love my job, I work in childcare. Of course there are days where I don't even like it. But overall, I do love it. I feel like I am watching these children grow and develop & I love knowing I'm helping them. We plan on me staying home and maybe watching a few children when we have a baby & I like that idea. Right now I stay because I would miss these children & I like contributing to the bills and building the savings account.
I used to love my job. Now im burnt out. My caseload went from 25 to 40 with no increase in pay. I continue to stay because you become attached to clients. I also have a pretty flexible schedule that I don't want to give up. My dream job is to be a librarian. I need to retake the GREs to boost my undergrad transcripts.
I'm so sorry you're going through this, mustloveerica. I don't love my job but I am fine with it and I did have a job a few years back that made me cry before work and cry after work and I promised myself I would never do that again. A job that makes you cry is not a job you should have, in my opinion.
As for what I like about my job/what makes me stay? It's in my field, it pays well enough, and I love my coworkers. I'm salaried like you and I definitely work more than the regular 40 hours. There is not much growth opportunity, and my salary is a little lower than a lot of people are paid in this field. But I stay because the good outweighs the bad.
I have a little trick that has worked for me in determining whether I should stay at a job or leave: if you are dreading coming back to work on Sunday night, then this is not a job that I should keep. Simple as that. Because when your weekend is ruined because of thoughts of your job, life becomes shit. I've been where you are and I was actually fired from that terrible soul sucking job and I felt AMAZING when it was over. Especially since you were planning on leaving soonish anyways, I would seriously consider resigning to be happier.
Post by ghostmonkey on Mar 20, 2015 10:26:12 GMT -5
If you can make ends meet without your pay, don't stay at a job that makes you cry. Trust on this one. I had a job like that and as soon as we could make it without my income, I gave my notice. Flipping burgers would have been better than the place I was at.
If you love your job, why? What makes you passionate about your career? I enjoy my work, and that it's an ever changing job. Projects lasting more than 2 years are unusual, so there's always something new to break up the boring day to day shit. Stuff needs to be built. Someone needs to track the cost. I've been in the industry for 16 years (Christ I'm old) now, and I've kicked around other job options, but I like where I am. My company helps with that a ton. We have a lot of give back from our employer, we have a good team in place, I have a boss that pretty much leaves me the fuck alone unless he's confused about something, they are flexible with time (to an extent of course).
Post by rablissful on Mar 20, 2015 10:27:16 GMT -5
If you love your job, why? What makes you passionate about your career? I love my career, I currently not happy with where I'm working though. I'm a teacher and LOVE working with kids and I also LOVE biology... and bringing that wonder to the classroom is my favorite.
If you like your job but don't love it, what makes you stay? I'm only a permanent sub so I'm done in June
If you don't like your job, what is your dream? My dream is to be in a much more supportive school system, like I was last semester and for my student teaching. I loved my department in both of those schools and I legit cried when I left both places. That's how much I love those people. I want that in my full time job.
So I'm standing in the bathroom at work trying not to cry. My job stresses me out immensely. My employers are basically forcing us to work 60 hour weeks. We are salary so we only get paid for 40 a week. They never show any sort of gratitude for the time and effort we put in. And our work is never good enough.
DH says I can quit. But our original agreement is I will quit when we have a baby. Something about being a stay at home wife would make me feel like I wasn't contributing enough to the family and I think I would be bored. Kudos to any SAHW here though (I'm secretly jealous).
So since I'm feeling sorry for myself, I'd like to hear from those that love their jobs.
If you love your job, why? What makes you passionate about your career?
If you like your job but don't love it, what makes you stay?
If you don't like your job, what is your dream?
I used to work in a corporate setting. Due to some crazy life events and taking some risks that didn't turn out well I ended up begging my friend's father to let me work in his small business. The pay was low, the benefits were non existent and the job stress is high. Despite all that I LOVE MY JOB! Since it is a small business and we have no "corporate" policies, I was able to change the way the entire business was run and saved them from the edge of bankruptcy. It was extremely satisfying to be able to work your ass off and see results. Even though my pay still sucks, and just today I was finally given 2 weeks vacation and an offer for a meager salary, I stay because like the people I work with, the environment I work in, the control I have over operations, and the fact that everyone is treated like family.
I learned that satisfaction in your job is way more important than money. If you can afford it, I would at least start looking for a new job maybe only part time. You shouldn't be crying at work because of work. Period.
I love my job - it's what I've wanted to do since I was in HS and I was super thrilled that I made it to my goal at a pretty young age for the field. It is awesome and I feel like I am contributing every day to making the world a better, safer place, especially for kids. It has a lot of aspects that are extremely difficult to deal with, but it's worth it. I plan to work here until I retire bc there is truly nothing I would rather do.
But I definitely understand your feelings - my job prior to this I hated with the fire of a thousand suns. I was also salaried, but was expected to be available literally 24/7 (I once got bitched out because I didn't quickly respond to a 3 am email - thought not responding because it was Saturday night and I was out at a club and trashed was a good idea, but I was wrong). It took me months after I left to not wake up in a cold sweat realizing that I hadn't checked my blackberry in hours, only to remember that I no longer had the blackberry. The weird eye twitch I developed toward the end (after one particularly bad week where I only left the office for a total of 10 hours in 7 days, most of which time was just to run home, shower, and change) went away after only a few weeks. The pay was great and it was a very prestigious job, but hated every minute of it for 3.5 years. Wish I could get paid as much to do this job I love, but it was worth the massive paycut.
I hope you can figure out a solution to make you less miserable!
Post by akraus2015 on Mar 20, 2015 10:31:31 GMT -5
@mustloverrica, I'm so sorry that you're feeling unhappy in your job. Especially because it is a place where you spend so much time, you really should love it.
I just started my new job about 8 months ago. I do marketing, student recruitment, and fund development for a non-profit organization that opens and manages high performing charter schools in urban cities across the country. I am also a salary employee, and work an average of 60-75 hours per week. One reason I love it so much and put in the hours I do is because I passionately believe that all children deserve access to a great education. I would probably do my job for free, but of course I'm not telling anyone that!
The other reason I love my job so much is because part of our organizational mission is that we do everything with a loving emphasis. That really plays out in everyone's daily interactions, and it makes our team really great to work with.
I'm a firm believer that you have to love the work that you do in order to give it your all. I hope you are able to find that thing and that place you feel passionate about!!
Post by notthedroids on Mar 20, 2015 10:33:45 GMT -5
I'm so sorry you're going through this. I've been at a job where I hated it too and it just makes life in general suck. *hugs*
I absolutely love my job I'm in now. My boss(es) leave me alone and let me get my shit done. I'm appreciated and valued in my role. I can honestly say that most days I'm happy to come to work.
I'm currently a SAHM and love my job. That said, I've been there. I worked for a company that treated their employees like crap and, naturally, had a high turn-over rate. My direct boss was fine, but the Office Manager and owner were awful. I remember getting in trouble for rustling papers too loudly. Seriously. And hanging up my phone too hard (not slamming). It was ridiculous. I was so fed up, I left my cushy accounting job and went back to doing what I really loved and missed, working with kids.
I love my company, and most of the time I love my job as well. The corporate culture is great, and I feel valued every day.
That being said, I am not passionate about my career. My degree is in HR, and that is what I am currently doing. I worked in employment services before falling into this job. That is a job that fed my soul by serving others. But the work environment sucked ass.
My dream job is highly unlikely, but I would really like to volunteer and be a servant to others.
Post by requiressnacks on Mar 20, 2015 10:36:40 GMT -5
I hate my job! I work a zillion hours per week. The only upside is my paycheck. I guess I've gotten to the point where I try to focus on what I have going on outisde of work to keep me sane. And I take every last vacation day I have. I work for vacation/weekends.
I'm sorry you're feeling so awful! I don't have any advice to give except that where I'm at in MN the job market is amazing and there aren't enough candidates so if you're in a similar situation then I'd start searching and take another position until you feel comfortable completely to become a SAH anything.
I used to love my job. I love my coworkers and the location, the flexibility, and such. But money is getting harder to make and being in commissions (which I wanted, knowing this comes with the territory) is rough. This year has been tough overall.
I'm hoping you feel better soon. Feeling sad and stuck is the worst. GL
Post by mainewifey on Mar 20, 2015 10:37:33 GMT -5
I don't really love my job. I stay because I've been with the company for 13 years, its comfortable, and its a family run (not my family) small business. They have all become like family to me.
I don't love my job because it's not challenging enough to me, and I deal with a lot of BS because everyone treats everyone like family. That includes asking them to do things that normal co-workers would never ask of each other. Like "I'm running out for a few minutes, can you watch my dog?"
My dream job would be something in the sciences, but I'm not really sure what. I'm still mad that my school councellors talked me out of persuing anything having to do with science.
I do love my job. As far as what I actually do all day, it's ok. I love the flexibility and benefits most of all.
What I love most about it is their flexibility and respect of your personal life. There is no side looks if I have to come in late or call off because my LO is sick. I can leave for awhile midday if there is a parent event at daycare/school. Sometimes employees don't have other options and they end up just bringing their kid into work and they sit on their floor and play around on their iPads or do their homework. I don't have a stressful job, and when I leave I leave and don't bring work home mentally or physically. I Don't have a very high position, but feel I get paid very well for what I do. I don't have to work downtown, so I get free parking. No rush hour traffic, and only a 25mi drive. Benefits are fantastic.
I considered SAH for a couple years, but I can't give up what I have. This opportunity might not present it's self again, and as a working mom it is awesome to work somewhere that I can leave if daycare calls to pick my LO up and somewhere I won't miss a Mother's Day show at school, or know I will always be able to leave at 5 to make dinner if my husband is late at the office.
Plus, my LO loves daycare! She has so much fun and does so many activities and learns things I'm not sure I would have been able to do if I SAH.
I'm sorry to hear you are so unhappy in your current work environment. I would say start looking around and see what is available. If you aren't happy stay at home for awhile after you have your LO before deciding if you want to SAH or Work. I always thought I'd want to SAH, but love being a WM, so you don't know how you'll feel. Good luck and ((HUGS))
I love my company, and most of the time I love my job as well. The corporate culture is great, and I feel valued every day.
That being said, I am not passionate about my career. My degree is in HR, and that is what I am currently doing. I worked in employment services before falling into this job. That is a job that fed my soul by serving others. But the work environment sucked ass.
My dream job is highly unlikely, but I would really like to volunteer and be a servant to others.
ETA: Even though I don't feel passion for my current job, I feel fulfilled enough that I am glad I jumped at the opportunity to be here. At this point I don't see myself actively looking elsewhere.
Post by BurritosAtEveryMeal on Mar 20, 2015 10:39:54 GMT -5
I'm sorry that you don't like/love your current situation. It sounds like it's not worth it. Are you able to find a part-time job in another field that may be of interest? Or could you volunteer to try out other jobs while TTC? Maybe quit and take some classes and time for yourself for a few months?
I love my job. I love that it's different every day and it's challenging. My boss is very understanding and I have great benefits. Even bad days aren't so bad when you have great support from coworkers.
Post by motleycrew90 on Mar 20, 2015 10:43:34 GMT -5
I love what I do and I love working for a children's hospital. What I don't love is working for my managers. A few of them have no people skills and can make your life miserable if they don't like you. It took almost a year before I felt like I wasn't going to be fired every time I walked into the hospital. Now, I don't care. Our managers will also run us ragged. Our hospital has been running at max capacity for 3 months now. Our department does not have the staff to take care of all the kids. The management rides on us to pick up extra shifts to cover their butts. It gets tiring and old very quickly. Once may/June hits we will go back to normal and will not need a ton of staff, but it can't come soon enough!
Post by icaughtfire on Mar 20, 2015 10:47:15 GMT -5
I hate my job. HATE. It makes me absolutely miserable. I've looked for something else for the past 4 years with no luck, unless I want to take a massive pay cut. We can't afford that.
So I keep trucking along & hating my life 55+ hours per week.
Number One: Born 06.16.2009 BFP: 01.17.2014 / MC 02.05.2014 BFP: 03.08.2014 / MMC: 05.07.2014 Dx: Partial Molar/GTD. Benched until 01.2015 Number Two: Born 07.22.2016
Post by samanthasays on Mar 20, 2015 10:48:29 GMT -5
I am so sorry mustloveerica. I get where you are coming from, I feel like I am only doing my job until I get pregnant, I want to be a SAHM sooo badly. The thought of being a SAHW makes me sad because I want a LO to care for too.
I do like my job. They let me work remotely when I moved cross country for H's work, which is great. But my job is one of those weird niche things that not many people understand, so I feel a little lonely sometimes. And my boss is starting to take some bigger risks, so I might quit if I feel like there is any chance of me getting caught up in any of the potential backlash (i.e. lawsuits).
July 2013 started TTC 7/20/2014=BFP; CP confirmed 8/1/2014 Dec 2014: Diagnosis = Unexplained IF 12/24/2014 Medicated TI (clomid)=BFN 1/22/2015: IUI #1 cancelled due to cyst 02/17/2015: IUI #2 cancelled due to another cyst 3/31/2015: IUI with Femera, 1 good follie, great sperm count = CP, my December Rainbow became an Angel
I used to love my job. Now im burnt out. My caseload went from 25 to 40 with no increase in pay. I continue to stay because you become attached to clients. I also have a pretty flexible schedule that I don't want to give up. My dream job is to be a librarian. I need to retake the GREs to boost my undergrad transcripts.
If you had at least a 3.0 for your undergrad I would say check out SJSU. They just got their ALA reaccreditation, are a pretty forward thinking program, and it will be good for the next seven years.
mustloveerica I am sorry you are going through this. In my previous job towards the end I was always mad because they pushed so much work off onto me and I got no raise for it. I was doing billing department work as well as scheduler work when I was a phone operator. And I had some mean patients or jerks from other doctor's offices, or doctors themselves that could make you cry from chewing you out for something that you had zero control over so I get hating your job.
As for me I like my job, but I don't love it mainly because it is not focused in the area I want to be in. I work in a medical library in the tech services department. I don't get to do a lot of the cataloging like I had hoped, just the processing and checking that it was done right. My work is either I am swamped with things or I have nothing to do which sucks. Now if we ever get to rebuild a bigger library at our other location they would build a consumer library portion that I would be in charge of, which would rock. My boss is super awesome and I have made a great friend at work. We are a tiny department and I love that we get a paid week vacation at Christmas. However my dream is to go back to the public library with a focus on youth services, specifically tweens and teens or collection development in that area and graphic novels. I am going back for my MLIS so I can get a full-time job in the public library system in the fall.
Last Edit: Mar 20, 2015 10:51:49 GMT -5 by nerdykitten
Me: 30 DH: 29; Married: September, 2010 TTC #1: April 2013 Benched: May 2013 Cancer(DH) Off the Bench: September 2014 July 2015 ER low sperm count and motility(radiation side effect). FET September 1,2015. BFP 9/9/15.- 3 on the way.
I feel like I can answer this from many different view points because I've had lots of different feelings throughout this whole journey. When I got married and started TTC, I was in grad school and completely convinced I would be a powerful and influential research scientist that would change the world. I wanted to stay in academics, have my own lab, my own staff, have my own funding and projects. I even had a lucrative fellowship lined up at the time I got pregnant with my first DD. Nothing was going to change my mind. We moved down to LA for my fellowship and I started there feeling great and was amazed at how advanced and professional everything was. Then I had my daughter and went on maternity leave. While I was gone, my mentors and labmates were all supportive and checked in on me, since I had no one here except MH. I went back to work, and everything began unraveling. The people who were initially so understanding and supportive of me having a baby were now so disrespectful of my time and gave me work that I was not paid to do, and blamed me for mistakes that I could not account for. While this was happening, I was really weighing whether I wanted to stay in academics and research for the rest of my career. By attending more and more progress meetings, review sessions, weekly lab updates, and learning more about how the transition from student to independent scientist works, it did not seem worth it to me any more. I am not sure if every research institution is like this, I doubt it, but I know the protocols and politics are the same and it didn't appeal to me anymore after seeing all the behind the scenes truths.
I had a long talk with MH about what was going on and that I didn't know if I was meant to do this anymore, and if I should look for another fellowship or work in industry or just stay home for a while. At this time we were spending a fortune on the nanny, and she made essentially what I made. We decided it would be best for me to resign and stay home with our DD. DH actually brought this up multiple times but he dropped the subject since I had always been so adamant about working. I have a huge competitive drive to work and be the best, so it was very hard for me to transition to staying at home. However, I would not trade it for anything right now. I thought that by staying at home, I would be taking the easy way out and just being lazy and dicking around with my kid. So far from the truth. I do everything. Cooking, laundry, dishes, chores, errands, making sure DD is safe and taken care of (most important). I'm hardly ever sitting down. I am also very active with my own therapy so that takes up time that I would not have if I was working. This timing is good for us because we can get babymaking out of the way in one sweep (hopefully) and once the kids are all in school, I will return to work.
I am so sorry that you are having a hard time and I know how you feel. Right now MH is in a similar position, but thankfully is in very positive job talks with another agency. I would really encourage you to sit down and talk to YH and write down a list of your options. Maybe they would be: stay at work until you have a baby, stay at work for a max of 6 months then quit and SAH, quit now and SAH, quit now and work part time somewhere else, etc. There are options, and I wish you the best. I hope this helps. (((HUGS)))
I'm sorry your work situation is stressing you out so much. I'm of the opinion, like some PP, that a job that makes you cry at least semi-regularly, or that you dread going back to after every weekend, is not worth the heartache.
I have actually quit a job that made me miserable before, and it was a hard, scary decision. I had only been there for three months after leaving a job I liked to take it, I was a federal employee giving up status candidacy (makes it way easier to get another federal job), and I had nothing lined up once I quit. It took me seven months to find even a part-time new job, and it was almost a year before I was back to being full-time and salaried. I'm still convinced it was the right decision, because the unhappiness of the job had been affecting the rest of my life.
I don't love my current job, either. I would say that I like the work but strongly dislike my supervisor. I stay because I'm getting valuable experience in my field and building good professional connections. I'm also actively looking for other opportunities, but no one at work knows that because it would have to be a pretty perfect situation before I would leave. Have you been thinking about looking for a different job that you might like more? If you would be fine financially if you were to quit, it sounds like you could afford to consider something that might pay less but make you happier... just a thought.
((hugs)) girl, I know you have been struggling with this for a while. It is so hard to have a job that you hate. I really think that if you can swing it, which it sounds like you can, you should just quit. I don't think anything is worth your crying everyday at work at this point. There is zero reason to put yourself through that every day! I just put in my notice at one of my client's because I was feeling the same way and I already feel like such a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If you love your job, why? What makes you passionate about your career? I go between liking and loving most days I think, but for the purposes of this survey I think I am going to say I don't love my job.
If you like your job but don't love it, what makes you stay? I have a great job right now; it's flexible, I get to be autonomous, and I love who I work for. I don't love the job though, and I definitely know it is not what I want to be doing long term. I stay for all the reason's listed in my first sentence and because it just makes sense for me and my family right now.
If you don't like your job, what is your dream? I love the geriatric population. I always have, always will. I used to work in a nursing home but left because of a few different reasons. I miss it and my residents every day. I would like to get back into that environment and work my way up to management. I'd also like to get my masters at some point in business admin/healthcare/gerontology but that is probably a far off thing at this point.
I don't really love my job. I stay because I've been with the company for 13 years, its comfortable, and its a family run (not my family) small business. They have all become like family to me.
I don't love my job because it's not challenging enough to me, and I deal with a lot of BS because everyone treats everyone like family. That includes asking them to do things that normal co-workers would never ask of each other. Like "I'm running out for a few minutes, can you watch my dog?"
My dream job would be something in the sciences, but I'm not really sure what. I'm still mad that my school councellors talked me out of persuing anything having to do with science.
My school counselors tried to talk me out of it as well, and both my mom and I yelled at them. At the time I wanted to do PT so they basically made me apply to 12 schools (I got into all but like 3 I think- 2 denies, 1 wait list) since it's so competitive. Them trying to talk me out of it gave me wayyy more motivation to persue it.
If you still want to do something in science DO IT! It's an ever growing field.
Post by britterrss on Mar 20, 2015 11:03:17 GMT -5
I love and hate my job. I'm a dietitian at a dialysis center.
From the actual job stand point, it's kind of boring and tedious. I don't feel super challenged. Some of my patients are really hateful and completely non-compliant with their diet and medications. It's frustrating because I don't feel like I'm making a difference. The clinic I work in is new and should be really clean/nice, but some of the staff are really dirty. The breakroom is so disgusting that I bought my own minifridge to put in my office. Sometimes the staff bathroom is so nasty that I want to vom. I'm an ultra clean freak, so this makes it hard for me.
On the other hand, we can't afford for me not to work (because of how expensive Austin is) and this job pays well. It's also super flexible in that it allows me to browse the interwebs in my downtime. I can also come and go as I need to. If you work at least 4 hours, that counts as a full day. I usually end up working 8 hours, but I don't have to count my lunch break. My supervisor is super chill and let's me do my job - I was micromanaged at my last job and that's the worst.
*** If I were you I would Q-U-I-T if y'all can afford it. You could always volunteer in the meantime if you want to have something to do. Volunteers are ALWAYS needed at food banks, hospitals, and women's shelters. My last job I was miserable for 2 years, and looking back I should've got any number of temporary jobs until I found a better one instead of suffering through it. Good luck to you!
Post by summerdonna on Mar 20, 2015 11:10:21 GMT -5
I'm sorry you are feeling down about your job. I'm with others in that if you can afford it, you should quit. Some days I like my job and others not so much. I love the people I work with and that makes a huge difference. But at my job there are never praises for a job well done and you really only hear if you are messing up.
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