STM: Will SO stay at the hospital after delivery?

[brennaz]

A few days ago I mentioned to my mom something about needing to make arrangements for DS for while I'm in the hospital. She asked why DH wouldn't be home with him.
It honestly had not occurred to me that DH could go home after the baby is born, and I could stay by myself at the hospital.
So for the STM+ moms, do you plan on your SO staying with you all/most of the time you're in the hospital, or just coming at certain times or such?
I know this may differ for C/S, so feel free to chime in on that. I'm assuming this will be another "run of the mill" vaginal delivery with a 48 hour hospital stay...I have no clue what to expect for a C/S.

[nettje]

We've talked about it a little bit and because I'm going in for a repeat c-section, DH will stay the first night and see how things go the second day. If I'm doing well, he'll probably come home the second night to be with DD. if not, my mom is going to be here looking after her during the day and into the night.

If I was able to have my vbac, we'd probably do the same as above.

[alayne926]

We haven't really talked about it yet, but my guess is DH will go home every night for DS to keep things "normal". Honestly, we'll both sleep better that way. He snores SO loudly and nurses come in so frequently, I would get no sleep with him there.

[Deleted]

I think it depends on what time of day baby is born. If it's late, yes he'll stay. But if it's morning or afternoon, I would imagine he'll go home. Not just becuase of DS but we also have dogs so someone has to take care of them. Andplualso what alayne926 said about the DH snoring. With DS he actually went to the nursery at night both nights so I could take full advantage of two nights to sleep up before diving in head first at home. I want to be able to get that rest again and it isn't likely to happen with DH in the room.

DS will either be with his dad or, if it's our time, he'll stay at my mom's house.

[ladysif]

DH will stay with me and new baby, but only because we are fortunate enough to have my folks on call to come watch DS and he does awesome with them. Maybe I will send him home the second night for a good night of sleep, but I do recall it being nice to have him there the first morning to be able to go with DS to get circumcised while I had some time alone to shower, etc.

[veggiemo]

DH didn't stay with me at the hospital when DS was born, so highly unlikely he will stay this time! My parents will take DS when I go into labor and keep him probably until I'm released. DH will be at the hospital the majority of the time but I imagine he will go home to sleep again.

[tiffbot]

I kind of imagined he'd stay, as we live an hour away and DS will be organized to be staying with my parents. Obviously if it's longer than a couple days after birth we'd have to make other arrangements as I'm sure my mom would have to get back to work, but we'll cross that bridge if we need to.

DS was in the hospital for 2 weeks and I only was for one night post birth and we crashed at my sisters until we could take him home, so first time experience was (hopefully the only time) a little different.

[redlipz]

I'm thinking I'll stay alone. My husband could stay at home with both kids. First time he stayed, second time my daughter stayed at my in laws and husband totally needed rest cus he pushes so hard and labor was all of 8 hours and he was there for 3 and a half of it and his mom felt he needed to rest(Sarcasm). My mom stayed the first night with me but she wasn't much help since she sleeps through everything. Next night I was alone and it was pretty nice.

[billyhorrible]

Not sure yet, we're playing it by ear. My mom is coming down to stay with LBB when I go into labor, so DH can stay with me. But it'll depend on how labor and delivery go. With LBB we were in the hospital for 3 nights (2 during the induction, one after birth) so if there's a repeat he might go home the last night. If it's just a night he'll probably stay.

I have mixed feelings about him staying. The first time he did not sleep at all after the baby was born, he didn't want to miss a minute and stayed up all night watching him. Which made him totally useless when we got home until he got some sleep!

[fuccimama]

Well, I was induced without much noticed. I was in the hospital 3 days before my due date for an NST, and LO was not moving much. My DH stayed at first, but DH left for a few hours at night to attend to my step son, to get my overnight bag, baby's diaper bag, and during that time my baby couldn't stay in the room with me because I had the epidural, I had a c-section, and I was not allowed to get up for 24 hours. Cue drama queen mode, but I went to sleep and when I woke up my DH was holding baby. Cue proud mama/wife moment!

This time, i'm sure I am having an RCS. My kids will be in N.C. for a few weeks, so there will be a bag packed near the door this time for every time I decide to get an NST or have an issue or an appointment. DH will stay the night as well then too. Hope this helps.

[sugarkissed]

He'll be staying with me… my mom will be at our house with DD and HOPEFULLY I get my VBAC and am only in the hospital for one night. DD does great with her grandma and she will be in her own home so I'm not too worried about her.

My first was a c-section and having DH there to bring her to me when she'd need to nurse was a lifesaver.

[Deleted]

My parents are going to come over and watch DS while im in labor. Once the baby is born we are just going to wait and see how we both feel about it. We live 10 min from the hospital so I can imagine he can go home to sleep at night and just come back to stay with us during the day.

[honeybunches101]

DH will stay with me. My mom will come down and stay with DS, she has stayed with him several times and is great with him so I have no worries. The hospital isn't far from us so DH will go home to see him and my mom will bring DS to the hospital. If there's a problem we can always change our minds.

[maddib]

DH will stay with us as long as it's not more then a few days so as not to miss too much work. When I had DS my ex husband went home the nights I was they and I found out he had been sexting two different women. Ugh he was a real winner. I know my DH wouldn't do that but it definitely had tainted my thoughts on this one a little bit. We were both really young. I was sixteen and he was eighteen but damn! He was my husband and could freaking waited until a day where I hadn't just pushed out his son!!! We were way too young to be married..

[wegrowsheep]

We lived an hour and a half from the hospital when DS was born. A friend stayed with DD until my inlaws (coming from 4 hrs away) arrived to watch her, and they brought her later in the day, then stayed in a hotel with her overnight and we all went home the next morning. This time we live quite a bit closer to a hospital, and my inlaws and parents are both quite close. The kids will stay with them overnight.

[bendherova]

We haven't talked about it and TBH, I'm not sure I have a preference! Someone will have to be at our house with DS even if H decides to sleep at home at night, so it doesn't alleviate that need. We're 10min from the hospital.

I might leave this decision up to DH.

[cincichick]

DH will be going home at night. He didn't stay last time because he broke his back in college so he wouldn't have slept at all in those hospital chair/bed things and would have been no use to me. I had a CS first time and didn't really have any trouble with recovery. I think we will do RCS this time so hopefully my recovery is about the same but I'm sure it will be a little worse. We still don't have plans for DS when I go into the hospital. Guess we should figure that out here soon.

[curlyrunner]

My DH will be home at night for our older two.

[tatersalad]

My mom will come up to stay with DS but I will also send DH home every night. I didn't have him stay in the hospital overnight last time either. He would snore, be uncomfortable, and useless so there is no point in it for me.

[wifedeangel]

The ILs will already be with us, so they can stay with DD while we're at the hospital. Assuming everything goes normally, we'll only be there for 2 nights, max, so DH will stay with me. Even with an easy recovery, I couldn't imagine not having him with me.

[PurpleIris]

Maybe for this first night if she's born later in the day, but I think it would be good for at least one of us to be well rested when we bring her home. As of right now we don't have a plan for who's watching our son, we don't have any family in the area. Also need to figure out what to do with the dog. Blargh.

[littlemissgrump]

FTM here, I didn't even consider DH leaving the hospital, I just want him with me all the time! I guess we'll see how things go.

[brennaz]

Great point about him getting more rest at home! Last time we had annoying family who had basically dropped by for the weekend without notice, and took over our one-bedroom apartment (we lived several hours away from everyone). So going home would not have been any more restful!
This time we are back in our home area with both families within half an hour, so DS is way to get a sitter for.
After hearing all these reasons, I'm actually leaning toward having DH go home, so I will have to revisit this topic with him.

[tulips114]

DH stayed with me, but in hindsight I kinda wish he would have come home and at least put DD1 to bed, just to keep things as normal as possible for her. We were only there one night, so it really wasn't that big of a deal.

We haven't talked about the plan this time, but he'll likely come home, at least until the girls are in bed.

Of course you still need arrangements in place in case you're in labor over night.

[islandgirl14]

Yes DS is planning on staying at the hospital. We are arranging plans for my parents to take DS when I go into labor... he'll stay with them for a few days past delivery actually to give us time to get home, get settled in, etc.

[kimberlyandthor2014]

DH is definitely staying with me at the hospital. My daughter will stay with my mom and sister while we are there. I am super grateful that we have family all around to make this possible, because I would hate to have to have it any other way.

[carolyngrace]

Planning on being home pretty soon after birth (no overnight stay) if I deliver at the Midwife Center...

Imagining that first night is so impossible! I can imagine the labor and birth just fine. But imagining being HOME with our baby is crazy!! I have no idea what we'll do that first night, or night after that. It's going to be a huge learning curve.

[Widget123]

We haven't discussed this amongst ourselves or with family yet but I'm hoping that my hospital stay will only be for 1 night this time and that we can just leave DD with her cousins for the night so DH can stay at the hospital with us.

[Deleted]

Mar 21, 2015 15:44:56 GMT -5 budders said:

I'm going to jump in as a FTM: Did anyone's SO go home the first time around? We went for our birthing class today, and the chair in the room for dads to sleep in looks so incredibly uncomfortable. H and I are both terrible sleepers, and if he is cranky and uncomfortable (and likely snoring), I feel like it's going to disrupt my rest too (as much of it as I can get between feedings). I also feel like I'll need him to be awake and alert during the day to help me through the family visits, circumcision, and spending time with the baby, since I'll be pretty sleep deprived.

Does this sound like a ridiculous to anyone? Will I regret it if H does go home at night? We do live 45 minutes away from the hospital.

At our hospital they had a portable cot they bring in the room for family member to sleep on. Can you call the maternity ward and see if they have those available? Iot if not do they allow you to bring a portable blow up air mattress? I agree if it was just a chair I don't think DH would be in good enough shape to stay over.

[billyhorrible]

Mar 21, 2015 15:44:56 GMT -5 budders said:

I'm going to jump in as a FTM: Did anyone's SO go home the first time around? We went for our birthing class today, and the chair in the room for dads to sleep in looks so incredibly uncomfortable. H and I are both terrible sleepers, and if he is cranky and uncomfortable (and likely snoring), I feel like it's going to disrupt my rest too (as much of it as I can get between feedings). I also feel like I'll need him to be awake and alert during the day to help me through the family visits, circumcision, and spending time with the baby, since I'll be pretty sleep deprived.

Does this sound like a ridiculous to anyone? Will I regret it if H does go home at night? We do live 45 minutes away from the hospital.

Like I said, the majority of our sleeping was during the induction (Friday night, Saturday night I was in labor and/or pushing so neither of us was sleeping - gave birth at 2:42am Sunday morning) and DH wanted to be there for that.  He didn't want to go home and potentially miss the birth.

My actual delivery was really easy/uncomplicated; I was up and walking as soon as we moved out of L&D.  We were only there for 1 night after the baby was born.  That being said, it was really nice having DH there to get the baby for feedings and give him to me so I didn't have to get in and out of bed through the night.  I mentioned before he didn't sleep all night, but that was totally on him and not necessarily how most people react (I had no problem sleeping and was totally rested by the time we went home).  

It does strike me as weird there's just a chair for the husbands.  My room had a couch for visitors/sleeping and they would have brought a cot in for DH (although I think he started out the night in the hospital bed with me)