I'm going to jump in as a FTM: Did anyone's SO go home the first time around? We went for our birthing class today, and the chair in the room for dads to sleep in looks so incredibly uncomfortable. H and I are both terrible sleepers, and if he is cranky and uncomfortable (and likely snoring), I feel like it's going to disrupt my rest too (as much of it as I can get between feedings). I also feel like I'll need him to be awake and alert during the day to help me through the family visits, circumcision, and spending time with the baby, since I'll be pretty sleep deprived.
Does this sound like a ridiculous to anyone? Will I regret it if H does go home at night? We do live 45 minutes away from the hospital.
Yep, I sent mine home as a first time mom. We live about 15 minutes from the hospital and my mom came into town to watch our dog the first time around, this time she will be watching dog and our toddler. DS was born at 12:50am and my hubby went home around 2:30am, came back next morning. I sent the baby to the nursery so they bring him back in to feed every 3 hours and hand him off to me. I actually think I might get more daytime rest while baby is sleeping this time around if DH isn't there all the time. We spent all daytime hours in awe of the baby last time.
Post by sugarbean17 on Mar 21, 2015 18:18:42 GMT -5
The last two times hubby stayed the whole time with me. My first hospital stay was 48 hours after the birth. The second was 24 hours after the birth. The first time sleep options weren't great, they remodeled by the second time and there was a pullout couch which wasn't too bad for DH. This time we will be going to a birth center thy have queen size beds so we will just share the bed (so nice). Kids will be staying with the grand parents. But we also only have to stay for 12-18hrs after the birth so that will be nice also, then they do an in home visit the next day! I really enjoy my time with hubby and I feel like weather it's your first or 5th those first few days are precious and you don't get them back. My hubby doesn't want to miss out on any of it especially since this will be our last.
I'm going to jump in as a FTM: Did anyone's SO go home the first time around? We went for our birthing class today, and the chair in the room for dads to sleep in looks so incredibly uncomfortable. H and I are both terrible sleepers, and if he is cranky and uncomfortable (and likely snoring), I feel like it's going to disrupt my rest too (as much of it as I can get between feedings). I also feel like I'll need him to be awake and alert during the day to help me through the family visits, circumcision, and spending time with the baby, since I'll be pretty sleep deprived.
Does this sound like a ridiculous to anyone? Will I regret it if H does go home at night? We do live 45 minutes away from the hospital.
My DH went home after DS was born to let the dog out shower and nap and then came back for the evening. He went home to sleep and came back in the morning. I took advantage of the nursery and let DS sleep in there so I would be as rested as possible when I went home.
DS was born in the morning and I went into labor the previous afternoon, so not much was going to stop us from sleeping that next night. Overnight labor sucks and I like to dream that this one will be a day labor only. (ha.) I woke up when I had to nurse him and slept otherwise. I don't know, I'm of the feeling that expecting a solid night's sleep right after having a baby is a pipe dream. The nurses were in occasionally to check me and knead my stomach a bit, etc.
Our hospital has pull-out couches in every room so it wasn't super terrible for DH. A chair would suck and I probably would send him home if that were the only option. Unfortunately I doubt you can bring in an air mattress, hospitals tend to be strict about fire code stuff.
We haven't really talked about it yet, but I'm thinking he'll stay the first night depending on the situation with nugget... I think that will be our main deciding factor as it nears. He'll probably go home on consecutive nights though to be with J.
J will likely be at our (new) home with a grandparent, or will be at my IL's house which she is 100% comfortable spending the night at, since we currently live here!
We are most likely having a scheduled csec, although we haven't fully discussed it with my doctors yet. I'm not sure how long I/we will be in the hospital though too, with our unique circumstances.
Depends on when baby arrives. At least this time around he doesn't have to rush home to take care of the kids. Either our DS can get our dd to and from school and do all the stuff (they will be 20 and 10 so not worried) and my mil can help. When we had dd he went home to take care of ds because my mil didn't want to miss work. My DH said it was the last good sleep he has gotten.
DH is going to stay with me during the day and probably the first night but if I am there more than one night he'll go home to DD. My MIL has already offered to take time off work to watch DD for us when we go in (scheduled c-section so we will be able to plan better lol) I had an emergency c-section with DD and we were let out a day earlier than they would have normally have let out even the 'run of the mill' deliveries because I was up and moving that much sooner than they expected. So that might not come into play at all ?
DS was born in the morning and I went into labor the previous afternoon, so not much was going to stop us from sleeping that next night. Overnight labor sucks and I like to dream that this one will be a day labor only. (ha.) I woke up when I had to nurse him and slept otherwise. I don't know, I'm of the feeling that expecting a solid night's sleep right after having a baby is a pipe dream. The nurses were in occasionally to check me and knead my stomach a bit, etc.
Our hospital has pull-out couches in every room so it wasn't super terrible for DH. A chair would suck and I probably would send him home if that were the only option. Unfortunately I doubt you can bring in an air mattress, hospitals tend to be strict about fire code stuff.
I totally agree with this and I'm not expecting either of us to get a solid night's sleep (for the next several years at least). I just anticipate that "sleeping" in a shitty chair for 2-3 nights in a row is way beyond just the interrupted sleep you experience with a newborn, and will be miserable for him and create crankiness and not get us off on the right foot with connecting with one another and the baby as a family. Part of this is knowing my H, and how things work with him and our dynamics. I do hate the idea of H potentially leaving and wish the sleeping situation was different. We'll play it by ear when the time comes.
I wasn't directing that at you specifically, sorry! I definitely agree chair sleeping is above and beyond the norm and I wouldn't be able to do it, that sucks if it is your only option. I tried to do it once ages ago when my brother was in the hospital for an emergency surgery and gave up and went home to sleep. I didn't explain well, sorry. I meant that comment more with regard to us as new moms; I read a lot of "take advantage of the hospital, it is the last good sleep you will get" tips with DS1 and I don't know where that advice comes from, I don't think that's really possible. Sending the baby to the nursery wouldn't have made a difference for me whatsoever. Between nursing him and the nurses checking on us both, it was definitely better after we got home.
SO will for sure stay the first night. My parents live 2 min away from us so Dad will take DD and Mom will come to the hospital. It really depends on when DD2 is born. If she is born early and in the NICU like DD1 then DH will probably go home to be with DD1 at night and come back during the day. If she is born close to term and won't be in the NICU long or at all then he will probably stay the whole time. I'm planning to have a repeat C-section so if DD2 is in the room I'm going to need DH's help getting her and doing things.
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