Trip in June

[jnnfrrose6]

I need help coming to terms with not bringing DD on a trip across the country in June, less than 2 weeks before her birthday. In my head I know it's the right decision, but I can't quite get there in my heart and I need some help/opinions/kick in the ass. 

I just booked a flight to San Francisco for our nephew's high school graduation. We'll be flying home on a red eye. I've already decided not to being our son (he'll be 3 in August and staying with my parents). I wasn't going to bring DD either, but I've started thinking about it and now I'm not sure.

The biggest reason is because we're still nursing. If I don't bring her, that will be the end of it because I don't have enough in my freezer and won't for the trip (unless I go on some crazy pumping bender to try and stock up; not likely). I don't want to bring my pump to keep up my supply either because of the hassle (been there, done that) and it seems so close to when she'd probably be fully weaning anyway to not be worth it. I've also already started supplementing the bottle she gets because I'm not pumping enough, so for all I know she'll already be done with me by then anyways. I've also already been given the ok to give WCM then if I don't take her because it's close enough to her birthday. 

What I'm struggling with is that it feels selfish of me to cut her off of the boob because of a trip I'm taking if she isn't ready for it yet. Major mommy guilt. So, all the pros seem to go in favor of not taking her. Less stress on both of us and all, but the con of choosing to cut her off for a trip I could take her on is weighing on me. 

What at do you think?

[isolemnlyswear]

We are taking our anniversary trip the end of May. Like you I knew I wasn't going to have enough milk stashed nor was I going to save it up. I started the weaning process and it's been great for both of us. I still nurse her in the morning and before bed and plan on doing that until next month. I felt bad too but figured if I wean really slowly it would be better for both of us and we've had no issues. Don't feel bad. You've done great feeding her this long and formula or if you switch right to cows milk is not going to traumatize her

[soon2bmrsn]

I'm a wuss. I'd take her with me. I know that's probably not what you want to hear, so feel free to ignore me.

[Liv]

I think guilt is always a bad thing to live with. It's not selfish at all to go on a trip without your littlest. It does seem likely that nursing might be winding down for her and this just coincides with that natural cycle.

You might even find that she's weaning herself weeks before your trip-- heck, June decided in the course of a few days that she was DONE with me. So by the time this June trip rolls around, your LO might be more than ready to move on from nursing.

I think it's totally ok what you're planning and I'm sure it will be nice to be away with your DH for just a little while!

Eta: realized the trip is in June, not May! Even more time for LO to decide for herself that she's done!

[jnnfrrose6]

soon2bmrsn, I'm totally ok with those opinions too. We did this trip with DS when he was 9 months and he's about 100x easier than DD, so I have some idea what to expect. It's the red eye that's going to suck (didn't do that last time) when it boils down to taking her just to keep up with nursing, which may be ending soon after if not prior as it is.

[stellabunny]

I'm the other way - I quit breastfeeding at 6 months for a myriad of reasons, some because of some medications I was taking, but also because I hated pumping. I liked the actual breastfeeding itself, but I hated how demanding it was between having my body not really be my own and all the pumping at work. And when I did get a night away with DH, I still had to wake up at 3am to pump or else have painful, exploding boobs. However, I still get sort of nostalgic sometimes and wish that I could sporadically breastfeed, or at least just breastfeed her at night before bed without all the rest of the stress that breastfeeding brings.

Anyway, I guess if I were you I'd think about whether or not five years from now I'd regret not having taken DD on the trip and extended the breastfeeding. Despite getting kind of sad now about not breastfeeding, choosing to end when I did isn't something I see myself regretting long-term. But that's just me.

[soon2bmrsn]

Mar 24, 2015 15:58:21 GMT -5 jnnfrrose6 said:

soon2bmrsn, I'm totally ok with those opinions too. We did this trip with DS when he was 9 months and he's about 100x easier than DD, so I have some idea what to expect. It's the red eye that's going to suck (didn't do that last time) when it boils down to taking her just to keep up with nursing, which may be ending soon after if not prior as it is.

The only time I've ever flown with a kid was when ODS was about 15 months old. He was still nursing but I didn't nurse on the plane for a variety of reasons (didn't "have" to/he didn't ask, I wasn't at all comfortable NIP then, etc). We did take a red-eye back which kind of sucked. He screamed for about ten minutes about halfway through then (thankfully) passed out again.

I'd give yourself a few more weeks to decide. Let it marinate a bit.

[hurricanerek]

Honestly if I were in your situation, I would take her but for a totally different reason. My DD hasn't been away from me for more than 3 hours and I'd be worried that she wouldn't be comfortable with my parents who she only sees about once a month.

If your DD is comfortable with your parents and you're comfortable leaving her with them, I'd say you've got the green light. The nursing will probably be winding down by that point anyway.

However you've got plenty of time to let it marinate. Just giving you my two cents.

[liziz]

We're headed back east from the west coast at the beginning of May, and we're taking LO for a few reasons:
-She'll only be 10 months, so I'm not ready to give up on breastfeeding yet at that point
-We purposely booked our flights for a long-ish weekend so that we could enjoy the city we're going to, and that would make it too long to be away from LO
-We have family and friends in the area we will be visiting on top of the wedding we're going for, and they want to see her (and watch her while we go to the wedding)
-We've never been apart overnight, and I don't want to start with a cross country trip for several days!

[bullybutt]

Yes, if you already have an established "overnight" relationship with your parents for your kids, then I wouldn't feel so bad. The weaning part isn't that big of a deal since she is almost a year old and you have already cut out nursing sessions.

I am the other end of the spectrum though. I have my own issues with being attached to my kids. I couldn't do it. I nurse on demand and they sleep with me. DD doesn't do overnights with anyone. The first time my son spent the night with my sister he was 14 months old and I had a hard time with him being gone and it was for only one night. Thankfully you don't have to decide today

[dawnfire]

I won't be of much help. We're taking a cruise in late May and decided to take LO with us. But our situation will be different...no plane flight since we're leaving from our local port and grandma and grandpa are going along, too.

Like you, my freezer stash is next to nothing so if I weren't taking LO, there'd be no stash at all for him. We've been transitioning to formula, but he still nurses mornings and evenings from me. He LOVES is purees so that's becoming a big part of his days, too.

Our babies will be SO much older in June, I think she'll be okay! I'm amazed how much has changed in such a short time. If LO was sub-6 months, I'd totally feel your mommy guilt. But I think at 11...almost 12!...months your LO will be just fine. You'll have several months to wean and it'll all be good.

Think happy thoughts!