D&C pathology report came back

[vballbaby]

We found out today that we lost a little boy, and it was trisomy 15 which is incompatible with life. We expected a chromosome abnormality but to find out that the gender was a boy when we wanted a boy makes for a sad night. 

I guess this is yet just another hurdle when it comes to the grieving process.

[spring78]

Finding out that the baby we lost was a girl somehow made it more "real" for me. It was like a second blow. I am so sorry for your loss and sorry if finding out it was a boy has made it more difficult for you. I hope knowing the cause of your loss at least helps you find closure. I know it did for me. Take care of yourself! ((hugs))

[germaphobe]

I am so sorry.... (hugs)

[starfishy]

I'm so sorry.

[babyzebra]

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I don't know that I would be strong enough to find out. ((Hugs))

[rablissful]

If I had testing done I wouldn't want to know the gender, would make it so much harder. I'm so sorry. Big ((hugs))

[followthesun]

I'm so sorry you are sad. I found out my loss was trisomy 22, also incompatible with life. I didn't want to know the gender, because I know it would make it harder for me as well. Big ((hugs)) tonight.

[mrssqueegy]

Sending big hugs!

[vballbaby]

Thanks everyone for the kind words. We had always called him Joey my mom gave me a stuffed kangaroo at thanksgiving when we started this journey with a baby kangaroo in its pouch, and baby kangaroos are called joey's.

[ronniesgirl]

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet boy. This sucks. Be extra kind to yourself. He matters and is so worthy of grief. I'll be thinking about you.

[crazycatlady6]

I'm glad you know what caused the loss of your son and I hope that it brings you some peace. I knew at the FET that I was having the little girl I always dreamt of with PGS testing and unfortunately know the pain you are feeling right now. I also named her and for me that has helped with dealing with her loss. (((Hugs)))

[nikolie93]

I'm so sorry, sweetie *hugs*

[craftcrazymama]

I am so sorry for the loss of your wee son.

I can fully imagine how finding out gender brings a new wave of grief, for the son/daughter that could have been. I don't think I would personally be strong enough to find out gender. It just makes it all that much more real.

[vballbaby]

vballbaby,spring78,germaphobe,starfishy,babyzebra,rablissful,followthesun,mrssqueegy,ronniesgirl,crazycatlady6,nikolie93,craftcrazymama,

Thank you all for your sweet messages. It sucks that we've all had to experience this grief. I hope that I can be a more compassionate person because of my experience. That's about the only silver lining that I can come up with.

[vivela]

Mar 28, 2015 19:19:44 GMT -5 vballbaby said:

Thank you all for your sweet messages. It sucks that we've all had to experience this grief. I hope that I can be a more compassionate person because of my experience. That's about the only silver lining that I can come up with.

I'm so sorry about your son. This is one of those things that does not seem to have any silver linings, but you are right that it can make us more compassionate people. 

[cabgirl]

I'm so sorry. We had the testing done too and it was Turner's syndrome, so our baby was a girl. It was hard knowing that, but in a way it made me feel closer to her to know, if that makes sense.

[hollyberry]

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet son and the new wave of grief you feel, knowing what the baby was and imagining all over again what could have been. That is hard. I don't know what my losses were but feel like it would make it more real, and sometimes I wish I could have found out, to have a name to give them, I feel it could help with the closure, and make the loss more real. I feel like it is sometimes easy to forget, I don't like that. I want them remembered. Sending you so many hugs

[doves654]

I'm so sorry, vballbaby

[Ann612]

Learning the gender was very very difficult for me. It was also the gender we both wanted (but of course we wouldn't be picky!). I can't bring myself to tell anyone what it was. We had never intended to learn it actually because I knew it would be tough.

So many hugs for you; that is such a difficult thing to hear.

[hydrangea1019]

I am so sorry. Sending you lots of hugs. I can only imagine learning the gender would make it feel even more difficult.

[dukegirlsc]

I am so sorry, when we got our pathology results back it was such a blow. I know how you feel. Prayers for peace for you and for your sweet boy.

[monabea28]

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you are going through this.

[vballbaby]

Mar 29, 2015 15:35:36 GMT -5 doves654 said:

I'm so sorry, vballbaby

Doves! Thank you.  I've missed you!

[vballbaby]

Mar 29, 2015 23:16:34 GMT -5 monabea28 said:

I'm so sorry for your loss and that you are going through this.

Thank you, awww your pup looks so cute and friendly

[monabea28]

vballbaby, thanks! Yes, he is a big pile of wiggly puppy kisses and craziness. Definitely a nice distraction from everything else!

[doves654]

Awww, I've missed you too vballbaby. We're on break for awhile - our doctor cleared us to break for a year or two, though I think we'll make a decision well before then.