Am I being to sensitive

[Ana0927]

I might need you guys to bring me down a couple of notches. So on Saturday I saw on FB that my good friend threw her husband a birthday party with a bunch of our other friends too (kids included).  We were clearly not invited. My friends didn't post any pics but another girl at the party did, tagged them and I saw it.

Now I have some pretty thick skin and can take pretty much anything thrown my way but not being invited really, really hurt my feelings.  We have been friends for over 6 years, our kids have grown up together, we have been on vacation together, we have celebrated many birthdays together so this really got to me.  

She texted me today to see how I was feeling and how my weekend us.  I asked her how the Mrs. bday celebration went and that it looked like fun.  Her response was "yeah, wish it was warmer so I could of had more people over" And that just pissed me off.  I have been to her house plenty of times for all sorts of parties so I know space was not the issue.  The response was just insulting to me.  Part of me thinks I am being way too sensitive and should just let it go but I cant seem to shake it off.

What do you guys think? Sorry for the long post!  

[wormgerm]

Hm. I would be bummed too. Doesn't sound like you guys are such close friends.

[Widget123]

I don't know you well enough if any of the following could be true but would the party thrower be afraid you or your family might upstage them or otherwise cause a scene or drama? Is there a reason why her husband wouldn't have wanted your family to be invited? Were there other guests at the party that your family doesn't get along with? If you are close friends that these are the only reasons I can think of that your family wouldn't be invited.

ETA: I also agree @bubbs119 's answer might be a possibility which would explain why your friends weren't posting pics.

[trixi282]

Mar 30, 2015 12:51:34 GMT -5 @bubbs119 said:

Are you actually good friends with her husband? Was it more friends of his than hers? Perhaps the invites were more centered on husband's friends than hers?

I was wondering the same thing... maybe it's more of who HE wanted invited rather than who she invited or wanted to invite?

Id' still be a little upset, but I don't think I'd necessarily hold it over her head or get too butt hurt over it.

[apollo11235]

Mar 30, 2015 12:51:34 GMT -5 @bubbs119 said:

Are you actually good friends with her husband? Was it more friends of his than hers? Perhaps the invites were more centered on husband's friends than hers?

This was my read on it. From your post, it sounds like you're friends with her more than him?

[mrskblack11]

I threw my husband a small surprise party once and only invited his friends. Granted there were no kids invited and all of his friends were single at the time so I was the only female in attendance.

Either she only invited friends of her husbands or you friendship is not as strong as you thought it was. Maybe it was a last minute get together and they wanted to keep it small.

I understand feeling left out. She did text you so it sounds like she didn't seem it to be a big deal.

[carolyngrace]

I'd probably ask her, but I'm not one to keep things inside if they make me feel some type of way.

But I agree, maybe he picked the guest list and doesn't feel as close to your DH as you and her are. I have a lot of close girlfriends (and their kids) where my DH wouldn't be the first one on their husband's guest lists...

[txngrl31]

I agree with others in that maybe just HIS friends were invited. I had the same thing happen to me a couple of months ago with a friend and her boyfriend's birthday party. We weren't invited, but it was clear that all the attendees were his friends. I would wait and calm down before I asked her anything.

[erbear]

I'd feel left out, too. Something similar happened to us recently - a good friend of ours turned 40 and her husband had an elaborate party for her and we weren't invited. We were invited to their kids' joint party in September, so idgi. It sucks to feel left out!.

[leenziepops]

I would've just texted, "Yo! You had a party! Where was my invite? " - Add the smiley face to keep it chilled level. But now that you've already communicated it would't work as well.

[billyhorrible]

This kind of thing really gets to me, so I get where you're coming from.

I kind of hate that about social media, it's completely ruined so much etiquette. Growing up I was always taught that you never discuss parties in front of someone who isn't/wasn't invited. Because it's hurtful and makes them uncomfortable. Now, with facebook and instagram, we can all feel hurt and upset because everyone loves to post about things that obviously their entire newsfeed wasn't included in.

[carolyngrace]

What ended up happening, Ana0927,?

[Bluedaisy]

Did the host post anything about the party on FB or was it just guests? If it was just guests she can't really control that. I hate FB for that reason.

Also I'd take her answer that the house was too small at face value....depending on what activities they had it might have changed their guest list dramatically. We often do a Halloween party with pumpkin carving, even though our house is really large for that particular activity we have to limit guests to less than half of what we could hold for a cocktail party. I also think the other girls are correct that it might have been mostly the husbands friends.

I think it's ok for you to feel left out, but I don't think you have a right to be mad at her. If it's something you can't get past I'd explain how you feel, and that you felt brushed off otherwise I would just let it go.

[Ana0927]

Thanks guys. We are good friends with the husband too. All of our husbands have hung out, gone to games, and even help each other out with any major house work. So it was really a surprise and hurtful to be left out.

The host didn't post anything it was another girl at the party that posted something. The host, my good friend, is a obsessive poster and she did not post one thing that night. If her other guest had not tagged her I would have never know about the party.

For right now I think I am going to take a break from her since it still bugs me. I will eventually get over it but for now I think that is best. We have some plans for brunch and some dinners scheduled in the next few weeks so hopefully things wont be too awkward.

[Ana0927]

Mar 30, 2015 17:05:26 GMT -5 carolyngrace said:

I'd probably ask her, but I'm not one to keep things inside if they make me feel some type of way.

But I agree, maybe he picked the guest list and doesn't feel as close to your DH as you and her are. I have a lot of close girlfriends (and their kids) where my DH wouldn't be the first one on their husband's guest lists...

I thought about that but our husbands are close too. Who knows maybe it was him that didn't want us there.  The more I think about it the more hurt I get.  I should just let it go. I have bigger things to worry about right now like having a baby in 10 weeks! 

[Ana0927]

Mar 30, 2015 17:13:37 GMT -5 txngrl31 said:

I agree with others in that maybe just HIS friends were invited. I had the same thing happen to me a couple of months ago with a friend and her boyfriend's birthday party. We weren't invited, but it was clear that all the attendees were his friends. I would wait and calm down before I asked her anything.

It wasn't only his friends though it was friends from our moms group too. I will probably end up asking her if its still bugging me a few weeks from now. But like I said I am just going to take a little break from her until I see her again in a few weeks. 

[Widget123]

Ana0927 your plan to take a break from her/them sounds like a good idea.