Reality TV - World's Worst Mom

[Stringy]

So the Discovery Life channel (never heard of it) - is premiering this new show. Synopsis below.  I found it via a NYT article that is pretty much promoting it, but follows up with research citing how so many college kids have trouble transitioning to actually being responsible on their own when they  move away from home (aka problem solving, laundry, social relations, etc).

My thoughts: The title is horrible. Why do we need to shame anyone like that? I realize its the host who was dubbed that in the past - but still - it implies (to me at least) that the families she will be helping are also being dubbed the worst. In reality my guess is the moms/parents probably have anxiety problems and or some traumatic event in their own lives that sparked this behavior (like in hoarders, its never about hoarding when it comes down to it).

So: Are you more free range or more tight roped? What do you think you'll be if you only have babies/tots right now?
How do you hope to get your kids that free play time that seems to be disappearing? What do you think of reality tv shows featuring parenting like this?

AFM: We love being outside and we both grew up with tons of unstructured outdoor play. Aka wandering the neighborhood and coming home when my mom blew a whistle.  My worry is that my kids won't have any other kids to do that with. We have a neighborhood playground and there are lots of the under 5 set there - but I rarely see elem aged kids wandering the streets on bikes or with friends. Which makes me so sad.  And sadder, if I do, my first thought is "omg where's their parent?" In my town, I think most are in after school programs cuz most families have two working parents.

Posting and running to a meeting...

~~~~~~~~~
World's Worst Mom

Premieres Thursday, January 22 at 9 and 9:30/8 and 8:30c


WORLD'S WORST MOM is dedicated to diffusing parental paranoia by helping high-strung, fearful parents to relax and give their kids the freedom they deserve. This 13-part series follows "worst mom" Lenore Skenazy-a mother of two, author and seasoned parenting expert-who in 2008 suffered intense public criticism after allowing her 9-year-old son to ride the NYC subway on his own. Following a media frenzy, Lenore went on an intrepid mission to rescue overprotective parents and their bubble wrapped kids from a childhood lost. In each episode, Skenazy performs interventions with families where the kids are being held back by "helicopter parents" and takes each family through a series of challenges designed to push their boundaries, give their children more freedom, and helps unravel their fears by deLakerMama66g myths around perceived societal dangers.

[meesh]

The title is severely lacking.

We grew up being outside, just running through the neighborhood too. We would leave in the morning and come home at dark. I loved it so much. Our entire block was family friends that we spent overnights with all the time

I hope to be like that. Mh definitely displays the helicopter parenting way more than me. Thus his accusations of me that M only gets hurt when I'm with him. (Hmph!!)

I don't get TV so won't watch that show. But, most reality TV is a life-sucking experience no matter what the message

[clldll]

Wow, heavy topic! I like it though.

Are you more free range or more tight roped? I was pretty tight roped with D early on. Now I've relaxed a lot with the exception of trusting other adults with my kid. I still have a really hard time letting him go to a birthday party I cannot be at. I do major research on the parents, and tend to pick him up early. I'm also a stickler about not letting him walk places alone. I just don't trust that someone won't kidnap him off the street. He's only 9 though

What do you think you'll be if you only have babies/tots right now? I'm way more relaxed with G. I let him get dirty where I didn't so much with D. I let him fall down and pick himself back up more than I did with D. I let him "fail" with things and struggle to figure it out more than I did with D. I'll probably still have trouble trusting other adults with him when he gets older though.

How do you hope to get your kids that free play time that seems to be disappearing? The biggest thing for us is limiting screen time. I find my boys gravitate towards free play if you take away the TV/electronic toys/iPod/etc.
What do you think of reality tv shows featuring parenting like this?If it's used as a learning tool, I'm ok with them. I don't like the whole staged for entertainment stuff though.

[rugger]

What a terrible name for a show. I agree, I'm sure most of these parents with anxiety issues have some underlying root cause that will be revealed throughout the show.

For me, I hope to find a nice balance of safety and freedom. I rode my bike to elementary school and frequently went around the block to play with friends. Hubs was similar - he was always out and about with friends. We're in the 'burbs and occasionally see school-aged kids around the neighborhood, but not as much as we used to growing up.

We'll probably be in another state by the time the girls are in school, so finding a neighborhood where I'd feel safe letting them wander a bit is really important. And if they go off "on their own" I want them to take the dog with them. No joke. I think a kid with a (well behaved) dog is so much safer than one without. (ETA: and I want them to be able to go out and explore like we did). But I also kind of want to be the house where all the kids want to come over so that I can keep an eye on who my kids are hanging out with. Is that helicopter-ish?

Parenting is hard, yo!

[sarenu]

Nope. And I hate the title.

I really don't watch reality tv.

[chickypoo2468]

Maybe it's called that bc the target audience is women who are afraid of being the worst moms? So they will see it and check it out?

[rrrrrachel]

I'm not totally free range but I'm more towards that end of the spectrum. My three and a half year old is currently on the front porch and I can't see her. That show will be awful.

[flumma]

We'll probably be on the stricter side, especially when their older. Right now I try to keep everything more age and developmentally appropriate, which comes down to what some of our arguments have been about before. ..since I think DH will go a bit too far for discipline considering V is still not even 2 yet.

We have already had discussions about when they're older. We are not sure how to find a balance between all these activities, and just sending them outside to play. That seems to be the problem around here at least. Some of the students we teach right now are nearly impossible to schedule because they are so effin busy. We want the boys to get involved in activities, but still just have that unstructured playtime too.I do see a lot kids out in our neighborhood, on bikes, playing together, and whatnot. Plus, they'll always have each other, right?

[meesh]

Jan 20, 2015 13:36:17 GMT -5 chickypoo2468 said:

Maybe it's called that bc the target audience is women who are afraid of being the worst moms? So they will see it and check it out?

So maybe it should be "NOT world's worst mom"

Lol

[flumma]

I think I partially misunderstood the question. I do let V do his own thing, let him fall, let him get frustrated, leery him run around the playground and I messy try top stand off top three side a bit. DH worries more than me I think tho.

[pipsqueak]

Not sure what kind of parent I'd be called....I consider myself an odd mix of helicopter and let em run loose. My older two learned to keep their play tame when I was watching and knew they were allowed to be a bit wilder when I wasn't watching (courtesy of a phobia type fear of seeing someone fall or something like that). I knew they needed the freedom to climb the playground equipment and swing to their hearts content.....so I just sat on benches close by so I was handy when needed and didn't watch the kids play.....and they learned to never say "Look Mom, no hands."

Teaching them to drive.....um....no.....I can allow my kids to drive as long as I am not in the car now that they have their licenses but I couldn't teach them....for that matter, I had to be heading to the ER (with my appendix or in labor) or heading back home on dr orders to not drive to let dh drive me further than 1 mile.

I don't have a tv so I won't be watching it....but even if I did, I'm still not sure I would watch it. Parenting doesn't really belong on tv in that way, IMO.

[flumma]

Jan 20, 2015 13:30:51 GMT -5 clldll said:

Wow, heavy topic! I like it though.

Are you more free range or more tight roped? I was pretty tight roped with D early on. Now I've relaxed a lot with the exception of trusting other adults with my kid. I still have a really hard time letting him go to a birthday party I cannot be at. I do major research on the parents, and tend to pick him up early. I'm also a stickler about not letting him walk places alone. I just don't trust that someone won't kidnap him off the street. He's only 9 though

What do you think you'll be if you only have babies/tots right now? I'm way more relaxed with G. I let him get dirty where I didn't so much with D. I let him fall down and pick himself back up more than I did with D. I let him "fail" with things and struggle to figure it out more than I did with D. I'll probably still have trouble trusting other adults with him when he gets older though.

How do you hope to get your kids that free play time that seems to be disappearing? The biggest thing for us is limiting screen time. I find my boys gravitate towards free play if you take away the TV/electronic toys/iPod/etc.
What do you think of reality tv shows featuring parenting like this?If it's used as a learning tool, I'm ok with them. I don't like the whole staged for entertainment stuff though.

Oh goodness. .. the screen time. I try pretty hard to limit screen time, but I feel like everyone blows me off. V will happily find ways to entertain himself if you don't give him a screen. 

[clldll]

Jan 20, 2015 13:52:19 GMT -5 flumma said:

Jan 20, 2015 13:30:51 GMT -5 clldll said:

Wow, heavy topic! I like it though.

Are you more free range or more tight roped? I was pretty tight roped with D early on. Now I've relaxed a lot with the exception of trusting other adults with my kid. I still have a really hard time letting him go to a birthday party I cannot be at. I do major research on the parents, and tend to pick him up early. I'm also a stickler about not letting him walk places alone. I just don't trust that someone won't kidnap him off the street. He's only 9 though

What do you think you'll be if you only have babies/tots right now? I'm way more relaxed with G. I let him get dirty where I didn't so much with D. I let him fall down and pick himself back up more than I did with D. I let him "fail" with things and struggle to figure it out more than I did with D. I'll probably still have trouble trusting other adults with him when he gets older though.

How do you hope to get your kids that free play time that seems to be disappearing? The biggest thing for us is limiting screen time. I find my boys gravitate towards free play if you take away the TV/electronic toys/iPod/etc.
What do you think of reality tv shows featuring parenting like this?If it's used as a learning tool, I'm ok with them. I don't like the whole staged for entertainment stuff though.

Oh goodness. .. the screen time. I try pretty hard to limit screen time, but I feel like everyone blows me off. V will happily find ways to entertain himself if you don't give him a screen. 

This is probably our biggest fight lately.  It is so easy to plop them in front of a screen.  They're quiet and out of your hair.  The problem comes in with when DH vs. me think is a good time to use it.  DH likes to use it when he first gets home so he can shower, start laundry, and do his thing to unwind from work.  I'd rather use it when I'm trying to make supper and get stuff ready for the next day.  If neither of us budges the boys get a solid two hours of screen time, which is not ok in my book.  Gah. 

[Stringy]

I feel like its the culture that's going to be hard to break. Like if all the other kids are in all structured activities after school, or home playing video games, or just not out running around - then where's the incentives for my kids to do it. You need playmates most of the time (unless you have enough siblings, which mine likely wont).

That said, most parents (like just about everyone in this thread) say they want their kids to be out engaging in free play - maybe we all have mostly younger kids now - so maybe that culture will change - but it doesn't look that way.

[ovenrack]

Stringy, move to my neighborhood. There are gangs of elementary aged kids who terrorize the neighborhood on bikes and scooters.

Okay, not really, but they do roam around in groups and trios, and I love it.

[Stringy]

Jan 20, 2015 14:11:44 GMT -5 ovenrack said:

Stringy, move to my neighborhood. There are gangs of elementary aged kids who terrorize the neighborhood on bikes and scooters.

Okay, not really, but they do roam around in groups and trios, and I love it.

Damn. I mean...good. I did want to discuss your town with you more. I know a few other people with babies/toddlers who live there - and housing is like, affordable-ish. we'll have to do this soon.

[mimsy]

Poor choice for a title, though very tongue-in-cheek.

I like to think we will be a balance of helicopter and free range. Freedom with some limitations. We live in a country where allowing your child to have a bit more free range is taboo.

There is a sizeable playground at the entrance to our neighborhood and not once do I recall seeing a kid riding their bike down there to play this summer.

[grumpycakes]

Terrible title and misleading, too. I have noticed a couple of commercials for it and I tuned out because I thought it was going to be horrible stories of child abuse/neglect. I am probably pretty middle of the road when it comes to helicopter vs. free range. I hope to know what is right for my child based on his maturity. I don't feel like I've established any hard and fast rules for parenting yet.

As far as the neighborhood thing, I played outside with my friends, too. As an only child, I also played outside plenty by myself. DH and I talked a lot about what kind of neighborhood we wanted to live in based on what would be best for DS. In the end, we decided we'd rather have a house that we loved than buy in a busy neighborhood in hopes that DS would find playmates. We truly hope we will be the "fun house" where he and his friends will want to hang out.

[redrock]

Jan 20, 2015 14:03:02 GMT -5 Stringy said:

I feel like its the culture that's going to be hard to break. Like if all the other kids are in all structured activities after school, or home playing video games, or just not out running around - then where's the incentives for my kids to do it. You need playmates most of the time (unless you have enough siblings, which mine likely wont).

That said, most parents (like just about everyone in this thread) say they want their kids to be out engaging in free play - maybe we all have mostly younger kids now - so maybe that culture will change - but it doesn't look that way.

This is how I feel. I think it's dumb that parents feel the need to structure every aspect of their kids lives. They can't even make their own play dates mist of the time. We wanted to find a neighborhood where kids are more free range, but I don't think we succeeded. It just doesn't exist anywhere around here, unless you go to suburbia, which has it's own set of issues. I hope there is a culture shift, but I don't think it'll happen.

We were latchkey kids and I hope we can figure out a way for our kids to have independent, free range play, especially outdoors. We live 1 block (but one busy street) away from an awesome and huge park. I don't know if we'd ever let them go alone though. I want to be safe, but not overprotective. My mom was really overprotective, scared and anxious, I always just lied about going where I wasn't allowed.

[mimsy]

My dad referred to my uncle as a ghost parent. He's always lurking in his kids shadows, making sure everything is okay. They are in their early 20s.