Post by akraus2015 on Mar 31, 2015 14:53:09 GMT -5
I've been semi-absent lately, but am hoping to jump back into some daily threads and back into WTO and TWW in April. I feel a little weird about asking for support when I haven't been super active lately, but I'm feeling like I'm at a loss and not sure what to do, so I'm going for it.
I've come to realize that the constant state of worry and anxiety that I'm in during all my waking and sleeping hours, while it has become a normal state for me, isn't normal. I have seen a therapist before, but paying the huge co-pay each week and trying to schedule appointments around work makes me even more anxious, so I stopped going.
Yoga isn't my thing, and neither is meditation. I can't slow my mind down enough to make it worth my while.
I'm considering contacting a physician for a prescription anxiety medicine, but I'm worried about TTC and/or being pregnant while on meds. I'm usually very anti-medication, but I am SO tired of being tired from my mind constantly running. My heart beats fast, I get jittery, and it's physically and mentally exhausting every single day.
I guess my question is...does anyone have any advice?? Is it worth the risk to get some peace of mind? (I don't even know what the risks are of taking anxiety meds while TTC or pregnant.). Do I have other options that I haven't thought of? I'm just so tired of being wound so tightly all the time. I need to do something, I just don't know what.
You might suck at meditation, but the more you do it the easier it will get. Even if you get on meds now (which is probably a good thing to do) what are you going to do if/when you get pregnant? Most anti anxiety meds aren't recommended during pregnancy on a regular basis. Learning to be able to self soothe and calm down a bit on your own will take you a long way. I don't think giving up on those things so easily is the right thing to do.
You might suck at meditation, but the more you do it the easier it will get. Even if you get on meds now (which is probably a good thing to do) what are you going to do if/when you get pregnant? Most anti anxiety meds aren't recommended during pregnancy on a regular basis. Learning to be able to self soothe and calm down a bit on your own will take you a long way. I don't think giving up on those things so easily is the right thing to do.
Maybe I need to give it another try. I'm worried about starting medication and then needing to stop while I'm pregnant.
Do you have any suggestions for mindfulness practices that are easy to get started with? I usually just end up annoyed that I have extra quiet time with my thoughts, because it makes me even more anxious.
Post by thechickencoop on Mar 31, 2015 14:59:50 GMT -5
Please, please talk with your doctor, or even your gyn if you use them as a PCP. I'm on zoloft for anxiety which is safe to take while TTC, pregnant, and breastfeeding (I forget what class it would be, but you can look up the medication classes on the Google machine). You need to find something that works for you because living in a constant state of stress isn't good for anybody
I wanted to add that there are activities that can serve as a form of meditation.
I started crochet and it is very soothing. Repetitive moves, keeping your mind and busy, but focused, not racing. It really helps soothe my nerves at the end of a long day and you do not even have to make anything really... though it is fun to have a little blanket/hat/cozy after.
Post by zombiesquad on Mar 31, 2015 15:04:40 GMT -5
I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I agree with the others. Start with your doctor, as I'm sure he/she can provide some safe options. As far as coping in the meantime, I agree with meditation. A little quiet time every day to relax and clear your head may help.
Married since 2010 DX w/PCOS in Feb 2011 Five cycles w/Letrozole+TI+IUI BFP w/injects+IUI in 2012 DD born May 2013 NTNP since 2015 Early miscarriage March 2015 TTA April/May BFP June! DS born February 2016
Post by longhornwino0907 on Mar 31, 2015 15:06:10 GMT -5
Lots of ((hugs)) for you. I'm personally on Prozac for anxiety and swirling, circling thoughts that lead to bouts of depression. I was on Paxil, which was a no-no while TTC, but Prozac has been studied enough and my doc felt okay putting me on it. Definitely talk to your doctor.
Also, you mentioned not liking yoga or meditation. Have you tried walking, running, other types of more active exercise?
kelltothekell, I used to be a daily runner. I don't know what happened really, or why I quit...life, I guess? I tore my meniscus last year and just never got my motivation back, although I fully recovered, physically. I know I felt a million times better when I was running, I just can't seem to get back into the swing.
Working 10+ hrs. a day has been my "excuse", but I know people who work a ton and still find time to exercise daily. I even signed up for a relay marathon (in two weeks), and didn't train, so now I have anxiety about letting down the rest of the team that I'm running with.
This is a good suggestion. I just need to figure out how I got to that point of running every day, and do it again.
You might suck at meditation, but the more you do it the easier it will get. Even if you get on meds now (which is probably a good thing to do) what are you going to do if/when you get pregnant? Most anti anxiety meds aren't recommended during pregnancy on a regular basis. Learning to be able to self soothe and calm down a bit on your own will take you a long way. I don't think giving up on those things so easily is the right thing to do.
Maybe I need to give it another try. I'm worried about starting medication and then needing to stop while I'm pregnant.
Do you have any suggestions for mindfulness practices that are easy to get started with? I usually just end up annoyed that I have extra quiet time with my thoughts, because it makes me even more anxious.
My therapist's office does an 8 week mindfulness workshop. They work on meditation and being in the moment. You may want to ask if your office does something similar or recommends one that does.
Post by icaughtfire on Mar 31, 2015 15:08:41 GMT -5
I also suffer from pretty constant anxiety. My doctor prescribed Buspirone, a category B medication during pregnancy. If anxiety is interfering with your everyday life then you absolutely should talk to your doctor. Good luck to you!
Number One: Born 06.16.2009 BFP: 01.17.2014 / MC 02.05.2014 BFP: 03.08.2014 / MMC: 05.07.2014 Dx: Partial Molar/GTD. Benched until 01.2015 Number Two: Born 07.22.2016
You might suck at meditation, but the more you do it the easier it will get. Even if you get on meds now (which is probably a good thing to do) what are you going to do if/when you get pregnant? Most anti anxiety meds aren't recommended during pregnancy on a regular basis. Learning to be able to self soothe and calm down a bit on your own will take you a long way. I don't think giving up on those things so easily is the right thing to do.
This. So much this.
I'm not anti-medication when it comes to anxiety at all, but I do think that the non-medication options need to begin at the same time as the medication or not long after starting. They can do a world of good.
I was agoraphobic (would not leave my house). My mother refused to medicate me so I learned how to calm myself. It took a long time (which is why meds are so good for bridging the gap), but it was time well spent. I know that I can calm myself; I know many different ways to achieve that; it can never be taken away from me.
So, this is potentially dumb, but it works for me.
Aside from yoga, meditation, walking, etc, one thing I find that really, really works for me is to take our dogs to the dog park. The park itself is in a great location (right on the lake) so if I get there when it's quiet it's nice to just sit and watch the water. But the other part of it is that the dogs are so happy to be there, it's kind of infectious. And the monotony of throwing the ball for our JRT about 87 million times is also kind of soothing.
As for meditation, I find that some sort of guided meditation works best for me. Listening to a soothing voice talking me through it rather than simply trying to quiet my thoughts seems to work better.
But I also agree that discussing with your doctor is a good place to start.
So, this is potentially dumb, but it works for me.
Aside from yoga, meditation, walking, etc, one thing I find that really, really works for me is to take our dogs to the dog park. The park itself is in a great location (right on the lake) so if I get there when it's quiet it's nice to just sit and watch the water. But the other part of it is that the dogs are so happy to be there, it's kind of infectious. And the monotony of throwing the ball for our JRT about 87 million times is also kind of soothing.
As for meditation, I find that some sort of guided meditation works best for me. Listening to a soothing voice talking me through it rather than simply trying to quiet my thoughts seems to work better.
But I also agree that discussing with your doctor is a good place to start.
This is not dumb at all. I think dog parks are amazing. My dog, however, tends to disagree with me. He's a rescue, so he's super aggressive around other dogs. I told my fiance I need two dogs: one for cuddling, and one for outdoor fun. He's not buying it.
I get what you're saying, though. Being outside always makes me smile. Maybe I just need to make more of an effort to work outside the office or something now that it's warming up.
I was just on my bachelorette vacation in the Florida Keys for a week, and I didn't feel anxious or worried even once. Maybe that's why it's so obvious today when I got back to life and work that I need to do something. I felt so great, and now I feel so icky, overnight.
Do you have any suggestions for mindfulness practices that are easy to get started with? I usually just end up annoyed that I have extra quiet time with my thoughts, because it makes me even more anxious.
What calms you will be different than what calms me. But, I can tell you what works for me.
1. Identifying that I'm nervous/anxious/scared. Saying to myself "Okay, you're over-reacting right now and starting to panic. There's nothing wrong with you, there's nothing else going on here that you can't handle, so this is just in your head. And now you need to start to control it and calm down." I follow that up with some deep breaths, repeats, etc.
2. I try to find something that "sounds good" at the time. How does taking a walk sound? How does getting a drink of water/tea/coffee sound? How does calling someone up and chatting sound? Will finishing some things on my to-do list help me? I go through a lot of things and decide what sounds good, then I do it.
3. Lots of times I find that once I finish some activities, I'm calmer. For example, I have bills piled up on my table at home and a full dishwasher of dishes to be emptied. After I finish up all these tasks and sit down, I realize that I'm lighter/happier/less stressed. I didn't even realize that I was stressed, but when they were done, I realized that I was. I try very hard to keep on top of the tasks that I can control. It helps me feel more control of myself to know that I'm not leaving things hanging.
I have other things, but I'll stop there. Living with anxiety is hard. It's especially hard because other people can't see in your head and see your racing thoughts, your pounding heart, your absolute fear and stress over something mundane. It's so invisible that it's strange to hear the thoughts come out of your mouth. But you aren't alone. A lot of have experience so feel free to talk about it here if you want. I bet you'll get a lot of good ideas and feel supported by others who understand just how lonely it is.
Do you have any suggestions for mindfulness practices that are easy to get started with? I usually just end up annoyed that I have extra quiet time with my thoughts, because it makes me even more anxious.
What calms you will be different than what calms me. But, I can tell you what works for me.
1. Identifying that I'm nervous/anxious/scared. Saying to myself "Okay, you're over-reacting right now and starting to panic. There's nothing wrong with you, there's nothing else going on here that you can't handle, so this is just in your head. And now you need to start to control it and calm down." I follow that up with some deep breaths, repeats, etc.
2. I try to find something that "sounds good" at the time. How does taking a walk sound? How does getting a drink of water/tea/coffee sound? How does calling someone up and chatting sound? Will finishing some things on my to-do list help me? I go through a lot of things and decide what sounds good, then I do it.
3. Lots of times I find that once I finish some activities, I'm calmer. For example, I have bills piled up on my table at home and a full dishwasher of dishes to be emptied. After I finish up all these tasks and sit down, I realize that I'm lighter/happier/less stressed. I didn't even realize that I was stressed, but when they were done, I realized that I was. I try very hard to keep on top of the tasks that I can control. It helps me feel more control of myself to know that I'm not leaving things hanging.
I have other things, but I'll stop there. Living with anxiety is hard. It's especially hard because other people can't see in your head and see your racing thoughts, your pounding heart, your absolute fear and stress over something mundane. It's so invisible that it's strange to hear the thoughts come out of your mouth. But you aren't alone. A lot of have experience so feel free to talk about it here if you want. I bet you'll get a lot of good ideas and feel supported by others who understand just how lonely it is.
Thanks joy, these all seem like fairly simple things to do, but sometimes it just takes someone else pointing them out I guess. Right now I think I'm going to give numbers 1 and 2 a try, and realize that I'm having some anxious thoughts, and then have some tea. Maybe I'll start writing down ideas/suggestions, and keep notes of which ones work for me.
Do you have any suggestions for mindfulness practices that are easy to get started with? I usually just end up annoyed that I have extra quiet time with my thoughts, because it makes me even more anxious.
What calms you will be different than what calms me. But, I can tell you what works for me.
1. Identifying that I'm nervous/anxious/scared. Saying to myself "Okay, you're over-reacting right now and starting to panic. There's nothing wrong with you, there's nothing else going on here that you can't handle, so this is just in your head. And now you need to start to control it and calm down." I follow that up with some deep breaths, repeats, etc.
2. I try to find something that "sounds good" at the time. How does taking a walk sound? How does getting a drink of water/tea/coffee sound? How does calling someone up and chatting sound? Will finishing some things on my to-do list help me? I go through a lot of things and decide what sounds good, then I do it.
3. Lots of times I find that once I finish some activities, I'm calmer. For example, I have bills piled up on my table at home and a full dishwasher of dishes to be emptied. After I finish up all these tasks and sit down, I realize that I'm lighter/happier/less stressed. I didn't even realize that I was stressed, but when they were done, I realized that I was. I try very hard to keep on top of the tasks that I can control. It helps me feel more control of myself to know that I'm not leaving things hanging.
I have other things, but I'll stop there. Living with anxiety is hard. It's especially hard because other people can't see in your head and see your racing thoughts, your pounding heart, your absolute fear and stress over something mundane. It's so invisible that it's strange to hear the thoughts come out of your mouth. But you aren't alone. A lot of have experience so feel free to talk about it here if you want. I bet you'll get a lot of good ideas and feel supported by others who understand just how lonely it is.
This is the hardest thing. When you know your over reacting and saying things that make absolutely no sense but your anxiety is so high you can't stop yourself.
You might suck at meditation, but the more you do it the easier it will get. Even if you get on meds now (which is probably a good thing to do) what are you going to do if/when you get pregnant? Most anti anxiety meds aren't recommended during pregnancy on a regular basis. Learning to be able to self soothe and calm down a bit on your own will take you a long way. I don't think giving up on those things so easily is the right thing to do.
Maybe I need to give it another try. I'm worried about starting medication and then needing to stop while I'm pregnant.
Do you have any suggestions for mindfulness practices that are easy to get started with? I usually just end up annoyed that I have extra quiet time with my thoughts, because it makes me even more anxious.
There are a lot of guided meditations, which I think are a lot easier to get into than just sitting cross legged with your thoughts. Lately I have had IF triggered anxiety, so I am doing the Circle and Bloom guided meditations for IUI/IVF. They also have them for just TTC. The lady's voice takes a little getting used to, and some of it is a little hokey, but it does help me relax.
I understand the hesitancy to get on medication. I was on Wellbutrin and some of the side effects were worse than the anxiety/depression it was suppose to help. But there are so many options for medication out there, don't be afraid to try something else if the first type doesn't work well for you. That's what your doctor is there for, to find something that actually works for you. I finally did and I was kicking myself for not doing it sooner! If you go the medication route don't be afraid to be a squeaky wheel.
Good luck, I know how debilitating anxiety can be and I hope you find the tools to manage it.
July 2013 started TTC 7/20/2014=BFP; CP confirmed 8/1/2014 Dec 2014: Diagnosis = Unexplained IF 12/24/2014 Medicated TI (clomid)=BFN 1/22/2015: IUI #1 cancelled due to cyst 02/17/2015: IUI #2 cancelled due to another cyst 3/31/2015: IUI with Femera, 1 good follie, great sperm count = CP, my December Rainbow became an Angel
So, this is potentially dumb, but it works for me.
Aside from yoga, meditation, walking, etc, one thing I find that really, really works for me is to take our dogs to the dog park. The park itself is in a great location (right on the lake) so if I get there when it's quiet it's nice to just sit and watch the water. But the other part of it is that the dogs are so happy to be there, it's kind of infectious. And the monotony of throwing the ball for our JRT about 87 million times is also kind of soothing.
As for meditation, I find that some sort of guided meditation works best for me. Listening to a soothing voice talking me through it rather than simply trying to quiet my thoughts seems to work better.
But I also agree that discussing with your doctor is a good place to start.
This is not dumb at all. I think dog parks are amazing. My dog, however, tends to disagree with me. He's a rescue, so he's super aggressive around other dogs. I told my fiance I need two dogs: one for cuddling, and one for outdoor fun. He's not buying it.
I get what you're saying, though. Being outside always makes me smile. Maybe I just need to make more of an effort to work outside the office or something now that it's warming up.
I was just on my bachelorette vacation in the Florida Keys for a week, and I didn't feel anxious or worried even once. Maybe that's why it's so obvious today when I got back to life and work that I need to do something. I felt so great, and now I feel so icky, overnight.
Sometimes just walking around the outside of the building once or twice on a nice day helps, too. Or driving home with the windows down.
What calms you will be different than what calms me. But, I can tell you what works for me.
1. Identifying that I'm nervous/anxious/scared. Saying to myself "Okay, you're over-reacting right now and starting to panic. There's nothing wrong with you, there's nothing else going on here that you can't handle, so this is just in your head. And now you need to start to control it and calm down." I follow that up with some deep breaths, repeats, etc.
2. I try to find something that "sounds good" at the time. How does taking a walk sound? How does getting a drink of water/tea/coffee sound? How does calling someone up and chatting sound? Will finishing some things on my to-do list help me? I go through a lot of things and decide what sounds good, then I do it.
3. Lots of times I find that once I finish some activities, I'm calmer. For example, I have bills piled up on my table at home and a full dishwasher of dishes to be emptied. After I finish up all these tasks and sit down, I realize that I'm lighter/happier/less stressed. I didn't even realize that I was stressed, but when they were done, I realized that I was. I try very hard to keep on top of the tasks that I can control. It helps me feel more control of myself to know that I'm not leaving things hanging.
I have other things, but I'll stop there. Living with anxiety is hard. It's especially hard because other people can't see in your head and see your racing thoughts, your pounding heart, your absolute fear and stress over something mundane. It's so invisible that it's strange to hear the thoughts come out of your mouth. But you aren't alone. A lot of have experience so feel free to talk about it here if you want. I bet you'll get a lot of good ideas and feel supported by others who understand just how lonely it is.
Thanks joy, these all seem like fairly simple things to do, but sometimes it just takes someone else pointing them out I guess. Right now I think I'm going to give numbers 1 and 2 a try, and realize that I'm having some anxious thoughts, and then have some tea. Maybe I'll start writing down ideas/suggestions, and keep notes of which ones work for me.
Yes, they are simple, but I bet you've tried them and they didn't work. That's okay. Calming yourself is like building a muscle - it needs to praticed and strengthened. Over and over. Don't be discouraged when it doesn't work right away. It comes with time and patience. And persistence.
*Hugs* I too suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. I agree with people about talking to a doctor about medication. You may want to go that route and if you do, more power to you. There are plenty of meds that have been study with pregnancy that are considered safe. Oddly enough, once I forgave myself/let myself take meds I found myself being able to cope without the meds better. I had ativan for panic attacks but refused to take it because I was afraid of becoming addicted. Once I let myself do it and stopped feeling bad about it, knowing it was there if I needed it made me feel better about it. Weird I know. But now if I panic, I try to stop without the meds first and often succeed.
Another thing I agree with is finding out what is bothering you and working on it. My biggest fear was that I was dying. I've been to therapy and such and it was all I could think about. I took the time to get checked (full body check, cardiologist because of all the heart symptoms etc.). Once I knew that I was healthy, that I was okay, it was easier to shut up the negative voice. I think really identifying what is scaring you is the first step. And believe me, even when you think there is nothing, there is something.
Hugs! My DH is going through this right now too. Its tough. I agree with the others. Try to find other things that calms/soothes you. I like joy advice. I think I am going to have DH try this.
Maybe I need to give it another try. I'm worried about starting medication and then needing to stop while I'm pregnant.
Do you have any suggestions for mindfulness practices that are easy to get started with? I usually just end up annoyed that I have extra quiet time with my thoughts, because it makes me even more anxious.
My therapist's office does an 8 week mindfulness workshop. They work on meditation and being in the moment. You may want to ask if your office does something similar or recommends one that does.
I did this over last summer when I was trying to get off anxiety meds. It was a really good price too. It has really helped manage my anxiety and I now do it 20 minutes a day. It was really hard at first getting myself to do it daily. Going for a walk or run helps. If at some point my anxiety or panic attacks get worse again then my doctor said she would just work with my OB to find the best medication to be on while I was pregnant. I am sorry that you are feeling like this. You may want to also talk with your doctor to see what other suggestions they might have.
******Loss Mentioned***** Me-Stage 3 Endo DH-MFI Nov and Dec 2014-Letrozole+trigger+IUI=BFN Jan 2015: IVF#1:ET cancelled due to severe OHSS FET #1: April 2015=BFP 4/10 & M/C 4/27 & D&C 5/15 Hysteroscopy and polypectomy 7/31 FET #2: Aug-Cxl FET #2.1 9/18-BFFN FET #3: 10/23-
Post by anonymouseliza on Mar 31, 2015 16:03:25 GMT -5
I haven't read all the responses, so apologies for being repetitive or contrary.
I have a history of depression and anxiety (generalized, social, etc.). I avoided meds for a long time, but needed them after my son died. I weaned off to continue ttc and did ok. Not great, but ok. When I got pregnant with my DD, my OB asked me to try and hold off as long as possible before going on meds. She said there were safe meds to take if it was necessary, but not taking them was better if I could manage. I made to about 24 weeks before it became completely unbearable and my sleep was fucked up and I was a total wreck. I went onto Zoloft and stayed on for a year. When the prescription ran out, I stopped. But I coped ok for awhile.
I hate talk therapy. It's expensive for me, and I have a very hard time getting comforatble with a therapist. So I tried alternatives. When I was walking 7,500-10,000 steps a day and eating well (reduced caffeine and significantly reduced sugar), my anxiety was practically non-existent. It would pop up, but not anything I couldn't handle. I also tried a number of guided meditations, and it was so much better than trying meditate on my own. Some are stupid and it took me out of it. But others clicked with me. If I do them regularly, I find myself a lot more peaceful and able to shut down the intrusive thoughts when I do meditation regularly. There are tons of programs and apps to try - give them a shot. One therapist had me trying to do something with bells and for me, it was ludicrous. But a hypnosis program worked well. It's try and try until you hit the right thing.
Post by lovetruly2015 on Mar 31, 2015 16:20:16 GMT -5
This might sound like a bizarre suggestion, but have you considered some other form of meditation/therapy like painting, knitting or dance classes or something like that. You know something requires some kind of concentration without being mentally overwhelming. For me whenever I'm really overwhelmed about something I need to blast my music as loud as possible and work on some sewing or painting projects. They force me to pay attention to what I'm doing but they are easy projects that don't stress me out further. I can just focus on what I'm doing and ignore everything else.
If yoga and meditation are giving you to much time to think instead of decompressing maybe finding something that would require some mental focus would be a good option. Not that yoga and meditation don't require mental focus I know they do.
I hope I'm make sense if not I'm sorry.
Edit: I haven't read everything so if I repeated something someone said already sorry.
edited again because I can't spell and my emoticon didn't work, damn mobile app.
It is pretty well known and was actually recommended by 2 of my therapists! I have the book and the handbook and highly recommend it. I think I can be more honest with myself than I can with a therapist. It might be worth a try for $18.
July 2013 started TTC 7/20/2014=BFP; CP confirmed 8/1/2014 Dec 2014: Diagnosis = Unexplained IF 12/24/2014 Medicated TI (clomid)=BFN 1/22/2015: IUI #1 cancelled due to cyst 02/17/2015: IUI #2 cancelled due to another cyst 3/31/2015: IUI with Femera, 1 good follie, great sperm count = CP, my December Rainbow became an Angel
Hi, What I have to add is most definitely repetitive, but I feel it's important to provide support to those in need. I also have battled anxiety and other mental health issues for most of my life. I also take multiple medications as part of my treatment. I'm currently sitting on the fence with changing to lower category medications. I agree with previous posters that walking is a great way to reduce stress. It gives you the opportunity to literally "step" away from stress for a minute. As far as therapy goes, I had the same issues as you with scheduling and cost. Now I see my psych once a month for 45 minutes. Sorry, for the disjointed response. I just wanted to let you know there is one more person here that you can relate to.
Post by fozziebear on Mar 31, 2015 17:02:11 GMT -5
I was diagnosed with anxiety a few years ago. What a wake up., sitting in the emergency room, my kids scared because I was shaking uncontrollably, my hands and arms. I was scared, H was scared. I started therapy within a month. All the things I thought were triggering my anxiety had nothing to do with my anxiety. Getting myself help was hard, but SO with it. I know what triggers me, who triggers me. I cannot control the people, but therapy helped me to figure out my response.
As we start to TTC again, knowing my triggers is the best thing I can do for myself.
You need help, you know you need help because you're posting on a message board asking for help.
I'm so sorry you're feeling so anxious--it's the worst. I made the personal choice to stop taking anxiety meds before TTC. To stay sane, I see a kickass acupuncturist. She has changed my world. Also, exercise is huge. I started going to a group fitness class 4x/week. It's good for me to workout with others because it challenges me and makes me feel accountable.
I'm happy you're reaching out for support. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help!! ((hugs))
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