Hi all! This is my first time posting on the name site here. I'm currently pregnant with my second baby, EDD July 25th. Here's the question: long story, but I basically have one option for a girl name - it's Sheila. I can't add a second name. Anyone have any ideas on making it better? Nicknames ect.? Any help would be much appreciated!
My family names babies after deceased relatives. My husbands grandmother, Sheila, or Hebrew name, Tzirel, died about 3 years ago. I named my first daughter Esther after my great grandmother, which is 2 generations back, as opposed to Sheila, who's only one generation away. If this baby is a girl, there is no way I can get away with giving another name, especially since Sheila's husband is still alive. So far, there are 3 babies named after her. One is called Tzirel, the other 2 are Sheila. The truth is, I know that I'll grow to like the name once it's my baby, but until then...I'm just not happy with it.
Post by wineandcake on Jan 20, 2015 16:28:53 GMT -5
Can you middle name it? I think having 4 babies named after the same person is a lot. I would choose a first name you love and middle name Sheila.
Why do you HAVE to follow this family tradition? I think of it as the same as having a 3rd, 4th, etc. Eventually it gets to be too much and way too confusing.
Name baby what you love and middle name it, family can be upset, but they all named their babies already and this is your choice.
Hi all! This is my first time posting on the name site here. I'm currently pregnant with my second baby, EDD July 25th. Here's the question: long story, but I basically have one option for a girl name - it's Sheila. I can't add a second name. Anyone have any ideas on making it better? Nicknames ect.? Any help would be much appreciated!
I guess her nickname could be anything you wanted? But as a stretch from Sheila-
I don't mean this to be negative but why do you feel you have to name your child something you really dislike? After a family member that has been honored three times already? I love family names but I think every child deserves their own identity. And I also think parents should not be forced into using family names. It isn't special if you are doing it solely from obligation.
Also, forgive me if I'm way off but I thought Jewish tradition was to use the first letter of a deceased family members name from each side for first and middle but not the actual name?
Post by TheEleventhHour on Jan 20, 2015 21:14:20 GMT -5
Is there really no other deceased female relative's name you could use from your husband's side? I hate the idea of you going with a name you hate. Also why does Sheila's husband care? Isn't three babies named after her enough? I really think you should go back to the drawing board if you don't love it. I know one Sheila and she did not go by a nickname.
Also, forgive me if I'm way off but I thought Jewish tradition was to use the first letter of a deceased family members name from each side for first and middle but not the actual name?
This is true. Traditionally it's just the first letter.
However, that being said, in my immediate family we've done full names - but in the middle name position. My guess is OP's family does something similar.
BUT as a major caveat, the whole point of the Jewish tradition is that we don't name after the living. If there are already 3 Shelias it would be a big kenahora to name your daughter that name.
Also, forgive me if I'm way off but I thought Jewish tradition was to use the first letter of a deceased family members name from each side for first and middle but not the actual name?
This is true. Traditionally it's just the first letter.
However, that being said, in my immediate family we've done full names - but in the middle name position. My guess is OP's family does something similar.
BUT as a major caveat, the whole point of the Jewish tradition is that we don't name after the living. If there are already 3 Shelias it would be a big kenahora to name your daughter that name.
My husbands other grandmother was Bracha, means blessing. My mil would be so beyond thrilled if we gave that name. I don't know...since Sheila's husband is still around I feel like its the right thing to do. By my first I really felt guilty that we didn't name her Sheila. I think I might be a little too concerned about making everyone else happy! Also, about the first letter thing - I've never heard of it. My family is ultra traditional, though.
Seriously? I'm Jewish and think it's way eyenhara to name a baby Sheila at this point because there are already living Sheilas in the family.
Her husband has nothing to do with it, IMO. Time to honor a different progenitor. I love Bracha but it's a tough one for most Americans... What about his great grandmothers or any grandfathers whose names could be feminized?
We named our first after my deceased grandmother using her Hebrew name in the fn spot. My second daughter had DH's deceased great grandmother's name in the mn spot. My step sisters all did the first letter thing for their kids, it's an Ashkenazi tradition.
Why do you feel like you need to use Sheila when there are already 3 girls in your family named after her? It's a little much IMO. I'm not understanding this. Aren't there any other names you can use?
You are all 100% percent right. Yes, there already are 3 babies with this name. Yes, it's my baby and I should do what makes me happy. But let me give you some facts here - since this grandmother died, there have been 4 girl babies born to the family. 3, with my daughter being the exception were named Sheila. Sheila had 13 grandchildren, and I promise you that in a few years there will 13 little Sheilas running around. Just because a cousin already gave the name, it doesn't absolve me of my responsibility to honor this grandmother. My question was that since I HAVE to give this name, are there any cute/original nicknames that anyone can think of. Thank you all for your input!
You are all 100% percent right. Yes, there already are 3 babies with this name. Yes, it's my baby and I should do what makes me happy. But let me give you some facts here - since this grandmother died, there have been 4 girl babies born to the family. 3, with my daughter being the exception were named Sheila. Sheila had 13 grandchildren, and I promise you that in a few years there will 13 little Sheilas running around. Just because a cousin already gave the name, it doesn't absolve me of my responsibility to honor this grandmother. My question was that since I HAVE to give this name, are there any cute/original nicknames that anyone can think of. Thank you all for your input!
*Stuck in box*
4 Sheilas seems excessive, even for tradition. That would make me so confused. I think she has been properly honored, I dont think you NEED to name her that.
Bracha, why dont you name her after his other GM or you can find a name you love which has the same meaning? Or do these ladies have middle names you love?
Married 10/10/10! TTC Baby #1 since April 2014 BFP Oct 16 - EP terminated Nov 6 2014 Off the Bench January 2015! BFP #2 June 1 2015 - EDD Feb 12 2016! Baby Boy born 15th February 2016!
You said you can't give her a MN but can you hyphenate Sheila to make it more unique to your baby? Then you can call her by her initials or just her MN. Here are some suggestions:
Sheila Jane Sheila Mae Sheila Anne Sheila Rose Sheila Catherine
My family names babies after deceased relatives. My husbands grandmother, Sheila, or Hebrew name, Tzirel, died about 3 years ago. I named my first daughter Esther after my great grandmother, which is 2 generations back, as opposed to Sheila, who's only one generation away. If this baby is a girl, there is no way I can get away with giving another name, especially since Sheila's husband is still alive. So far, there are 3 babies named after her. One is called Tzirel, the other 2 are Sheila. The truth is, I know that I'll grow to like the name once it's my baby, but until then...I'm just not happy with it.
Honest truth: you don't have to keep doing this. Just say no. Sheila is an ugly name and nobody gets to make you/guilt you into using it on your child. I like Tzirel a lot better, but, really, just abandon tradition at this point. Traditions are nice, but only as long as you actually like what they do for you.
You are all 100% percent right. Yes, there already are 3 babies with this name. Yes, it's my baby and I should do what makes me happy. But let me give you some facts here - since this grandmother died, there have been 4 girl babies born to the family. 3, with my daughter being the exception were named Sheila. Sheila had 13 grandchildren, and I promise you that in a few years there will 13 little Sheilas running around. Just because a cousin already gave the name, it doesn't absolve me of my responsibility to honor this grandmother. My question was that since I HAVE to give this name, are there any cute/original nicknames that anyone can think of. Thank you all for your input!
You have no such responsibility. You're not happy with the name. That is more important.
My husbands other grandmother was Bracha, means blessing. My mil would be so beyond thrilled if we gave that name. I don't know...since Sheila's husband is still around I feel like its the right thing to do. By my first I really felt guilty that we didn't name her Sheila. I think I might be a little too concerned about making everyone else happy! Also, about the first letter thing - I've never heard of it. My family is ultra traditional, though.
Yes, you are. This is your child and you can name her whatever you'd like. This is why I hate traditions like this. It shouldn't be something you feel guilty about if you stray. Plus, 4 Sheilas in one family is a little ridiculous.
If you truly feel that you must name this baby Sheila (I definitely don't think you're obligated), why don't you give her a middle name you love and have her go by that. Everyone in my BIL's family goes by their MNs (I don't know why). It may be slightly annoying at times, but it hasn't been a problem for him.
Post by dreadpiratebuttercup on Jan 21, 2015 15:13:52 GMT -5
You really don't HAVE to do anything. My dad is going to be a bit disappointed that we won't be naming a son after him. And w did consider it. But we decided in the end that he can suck it, because we don't like his name.
Don't give a kid a name you (and probably she) won't like out of some silly sense of obligation.
You are all 100% percent right. Yes, there already are 3 babies with this name. Yes, it's my baby and I should do what makes me happy. But let me give you some facts here - since this grandmother died, there have been 4 girl babies born to the family. 3, with my daughter being the exception were named Sheila. Sheila had 13 grandchildren, and I promise you that in a few years there will 13 little Sheilas running around. Just because a cousin already gave the name, it doesn't absolve me of my responsibility to honor this grandmother. My question was that since I HAVE to give this name, are there any cute/original nicknames that anyone can think of. Thank you all for your input!
But the problem with your "tradition" is that you're claiming it's rooted in Judaism. It's not. It is about one of the absolute most disrespectful things you can do in Judaism. Naming your child Shelia is basically saying to each and every one of those 3 children "I hope you die." It is saying to their parents "I hope your child dies." We are giving you an out. If anyone gives you shit about not using Shelia you tell them that you're not comfortable wishing death on a child. If they continue to give you grief after that, then your family is seriously fucked up.
Ok ok I give in! Drop Sheila. Should we give the grandfather a heads up before we name this baby something else? My husband works for him, so don't wanna ruffle any more feathers than we have to!
Also, going to the next option, Bracha. I would like to give a more modern version of this. Any ideas? Maybe something starting with a Br-, or something meaning blessing?
Post by dreadpiratebuttercup on Jan 21, 2015 16:28:36 GMT -5
I don't see the need to give anyone a heads up. If anything, maybe wait until the baby is here to announce the name.
As for Bracha, maybe use Beatrice or Beatrix? Bracha means blessing in Hebrew, and Beatrice/Beatrix means "blessed". Or at least, that's one of the accepted meanings.
I don't understand why you're willing to consider names that aren't even related to Bracha though, but completely against considering other forms of Sheila. Kind of a double standard there.
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