Pregnancy loss for 2nd and 3rd trimester losses

[therealbug]

Hey ladies,

I would like to suggest a separate board for those who suffered a pg loss in the 2nd or 3rd trimesters. From personal experience, the miscarriage board is one that is very hard to relate to when you go through a later term loss and there are many different things that a person who was farther along has to go through (funeral arrangements, nurseries that were already assembled, milk coming in, dealing with government paperwork, etc).

Thanks!

[NariaDreaming]

therealbug would those fall under "child loss"? If so that board is already up

[angelsnight]

I would second that suggestion. The child loss board says it is for the loss of a newborn or older child, so I assumed it meant the loss of an already living child, in which case wouldn't fit for me, a second tri stillborn.

[NariaDreaming]

We can change board descriptions. I'll jump on it when I get home

[therealbug]

Thanks NariaDreaming - I took it the same way as angelsnight did also.

ETA - is there anyway to change the description to specify 2nd tri loss and later? I ask only because I and another TB user who had a 21 week loss was told we did not belong on the loss board on TB because our losses were not "late enough". I do not want someone else to go through that here. 

[NariaDreaming]

Jan 21, 2015 8:53:57 GMT -5 therealbug said:

Thanks NariaDreaming - I took it the same way as angelsnight did also.

ETA - is there anyway to change the description to specify 2nd tri loss and later? I ask only because I and another TB user who had a 21 week loss was told we did not belong on the loss board on TB because our losses were not "late enough". I do not want someone else to go through that here. 

yes. done

[holly321]

How late is considered late enough? Anything second trimester?

[NariaDreaming]

Jan 21, 2015 19:38:58 GMT -5 holly321 said:

How late is considered late enough? Anything second trimester?

Yes. I don't think anyone here is going to throw a fit and tell someone that they "weren't pregnant enough" to fit in on that board.

[angelsnight]

Jan 21, 2015 8:53:57 GMT -5 therealbug said:

Thanks NariaDreaming - I took it the same way as angelsnight did also.

ETA - is there anyway to change the description to specify 2nd tri loss and later? I ask only because I and another TB user who had a 21 week loss was told we did not belong on the loss board on TB because our losses were not "late enough". I do not want someone else to go through that here. 

Can I ask who told you that? We generally direct earlier losses to the miscarriage board just because the questions and steps after a miscarriage are quite different than after a stillbirth but I've always seen it done in a very polite manner. Even if you had a d & e, a 21 week loss is definitely late enough to benefit from the loss board.

[therealbug]

Jan 22, 2015 10:22:53 GMT -5 angelsnight said:

Jan 21, 2015 8:53:57 GMT -5 therealbug said:

Thanks NariaDreaming - I took it the same way as angelsnight did also.

ETA - is there anyway to change the description to specify 2nd tri loss and later? I ask only because I and another TB user who had a 21 week loss was told we did not belong on the loss board on TB because our losses were not "late enough". I do not want someone else to go through that here. 

Can I ask who told you that? We generally direct earlier losses to the miscarriage board just because the questions and steps after a miscarriage are quite different than after a stillbirth but I've always seen it done in a very polite manner. Even if you had a d & e, a 21 week loss is definitely late enough to benefit from the loss board.

It was over two years ago and was from someone who has long since graduated and no longer posts on the loss board. Both the other poster and I actually had live births- so the miscarriage board definitely was not the "right" place for us.  It hurt to have someone who had a full-term loss tell us that we did not belong because we were not late enough and resulted in both of us leaving that board and moving to TTCAL. 

I know how wonderful the loss board is and that what happened to us is not the norm

[flutterfly88]

Thanks for including us 2 and 3 tri losses in the loss board, but now I feel like the name of it might put off someone who has experienced the loss of a child. Could it maybe read late term and child loss or something like that? Not an emergency, just wanted to put it out there.

[heartpresidents]

I'm glad you posted this flutterfly88. I've been struggling with how I feel about the name of the board for a few days now. I know it's just wording, but my son was 8 months old when he passed away so I definitely don't fit into a "late term loss" board.

[angelsnight]

Jan 22, 2015 10:30:29 GMT -5 therealbug said:

Jan 22, 2015 10:22:53 GMT -5 angelsnight said:

Can I ask who told you that? We generally direct earlier losses to the miscarriage board just because the questions and steps after a miscarriage are quite different than after a stillbirth but I've always seen it done in a very polite manner. Even if you had a d & e, a 21 week loss is definitely late enough to benefit from the loss board.

It was over two years ago and was from someone who has long since graduated and no longer posts on the loss board. Both the other poster and I actually had live births- so the miscarriage board definitely was not the "right" place for us.  It hurt to have someone who had a full-term loss tell us that we did not belong because we were not late enough and resulted in both of us leaving that board and moving to TTCAL. 

I know how wonderful the loss board is and that what happened to us is not the norm

I'm So sorry that happened to you and another. Completely ridiculous.

[theophania]

Updated!

[penguininthecity]

Jan 24, 2015 21:25:03 GMT -5 heartpresidents said:

I'm glad you posted this flutterfly88. I've been struggling with how I feel about the name of the board for a few days now. I know it's just wording, but my son was 8 months old when he passed away so I definitely don't fit into a "late term loss" board.

I hear you (neonatal loss here). Was going to roll with things if the description was OK (Type A-,B+ personalitywise).

Very glad y'all have all of us covered in the title now, though. Thank you!