Bitch about your ILs here!

[homebrewgirl]

Ugh! My MIL drove me nuts yesterday and apparently I'm not alone.
Bitch about the ways your family, friends, or ILs upset you over the weekend.



(I know bluedot had a post already, but I wanted to leave that purely for NMG as that is it's own kind of magic.)

[blondemum]

Mine isn't too crazy, but just super frustrating because it happens EVERY holiday.

FIL always alerts us super last minute of family gatherings for his side of the family. It's annoying because we have my family and DH's mother's side and his, so there's already a lot of places and we need to coordinate where we'll be and when so everyone gets to see X.

I decided to be proactive and two weeks ago asked him what his family was doing and he said "oh nothing, we aren't getting together for Easter this year".
He came over Friday and was all "you're coming to my brother's on Sunday, right?". Ummm no! Because this is the first i'm hearing of it and we already have a booked day because you said you weren't doing anything. He was upset but i'm like WTH FIL?!

[carseat]

We've been disowned by part of H's family because I wasn't up to holding a newborn during loss #5, and because I quietly took some space from someone who couldn't stop complaining about pregnancy. Clearly I'm Horrible with a capital H.

The boys are almost 15 months old and my BIL still has not met them. For no particular reason - he just hasn't shown up to many family things and hasn't come to the kids' birthday parties. But this is all perfectly fine and no one cares. And I'm not going to make a federal case out of it because I don't really care that much, but... WTAF? Why is THAT fine but I'm the worst person ever?

I give up.

Brought to you by BIL not showing up to Easter this weekend for fuzzy reasons.

[laur]

@cara5565 that makes me so angry for you. When H's uncle and aunt lived with us during Sandy recovery my dog gained about 15lbs. He also now stands at the treat jar and moans for treats. 6 years of training ruined in 183 days. I hop your pup feels better soon.

[laur]

MIL brought a ham for Easter. It was like a personal sized ham. Like Nerf football.

Fortunately it tasted like smoker/lighter fluid and there was more than enough to go around. Maybe she shops with nanamamawgramma?

Also she says the baby's name 50 times in a row. She is one, not deaf, and doesn't give a shit that you have a pair of bunny ears on.

[shellbell]

1. Mil brought LO adult garden tools. Thanks? And a bucket. For sand? K, I'll go get sand? (I shouldn't moan about a gift...but sheesh.)

2. Mil asked if we want our new house to have a living room. Well. Yes? I thought those kind of came standard in houses? I also want a kitchen. And a bathroom. #greedy

3. She was here at bedtime, and LO had his lovey. She kept trying to steal it and hide it. She doesn't know him well enough to know that lovey is lo's security item. He doesn't have it all the time, but when he does, it's because he's soothing himself. If you steal it, he melts down. So I asked her nicely once not to take it. Apparently she didn't understand/care. After about the 6th time, I snapped at her not to touch it. DH echoed my request.

4. LO was scared of mil when she came in. He acted like she was a stranger and stood behind me for protection.

[homebrewgirl]

Wow! I'm apparently not the only one who needed this! I'm going to try to get lo down for a nap so I can climb in bed with my coffee and laptop and give you all the attention you deserve. Then I'm gonna just let all my frustration come pouring out.

[shellbell]

OMG it was so bad for homebrewgirl that she's taking to her bed in the middle of the day. T&P.

[laur]

Apr 6, 2015 8:29:47 GMT -5 @cara5565 said:

laur - It makes me so mad. Why is it so hard for some people to wrap their brain around the fact that they're messing with an animal's health? I told my H that I think the solution is just to never bring our dog to their house again. It seems extreme and it's sad that it has come to that, but what else can you do?

If It puts the dog in pain... I completely agree with you. Not to mention the cost of emergency vet bills, just so the dog can have some scraps. People are idiots.

[laur]

Apr 6, 2015 8:23:40 GMT -5 shellbell said:

2. Mil asked if we want our new house to have a living room. Well. Yes? I thought those kind of came standard in houses? I also want a kitchen. And a bathroom. #greedy

I want to say something funny and snarky but I just can't. It's such a weird question.

[laur]

My main beef with MIL yesterday is she doesn't just let the girls act badly, she encourages it.

Like telling T to get under the table and play during dinner. Then E wants down there and if she stands up she will whack her head on the bottom part. Logical solution is no one under the ftable and when I calmly tell T to get out she (MIL) goes "ooooh, mommy is mad".

FTHATNOISE. Trying to pit my kid against me? So she will like nana best? GTFO.

I just keep telling myself next year T will be in all day school and in two years E will be in preschool. I just have to keep it together that long.

[shellbell]

Apr 6, 2015 8:34:27 GMT -5 laur said:

Apr 6, 2015 8:23:40 GMT -5 shellbell said:

2. Mil asked if we want our new house to have a living room. Well. Yes? I thought those kind of came standard in houses? I also want a kitchen. And a bathroom. #greedy

I want to say something funny and snarky but I just can't. It's such a weird question.

Right? Can you imagine saying to a realtor "we're looking for 2500sq ft, 4 beds, 2 baths, no living room?"

[carseat]

blondemum, H's parents are divorced and this past weekend was the first time in the ENTIRE time we've been together (12 years) that either side has ever made any effort to coordinate around the other. They always celebrate at the same time on the same day and then it's on us to decide where we go. It's ridiculous and I feel your pain.

@cara5565, fuuuuuuuuck. I'm sorry.

laur, something about 'personal sized ham' is making me giggle. Sorry it was gross, and also sorry that she sounds a lot like one of my MsIL. :/

shellbell, I don't even know. What? To all of that. Sorry buddy. (Did I mention all the chocolate?)

[carseat]

Apr 6, 2015 8:38:41 GMT -5 laur said:

My main beef with MIL yesterday is she doesn't just let the girls act badly, she encourages it.

Like telling T to get under the table and play during dinner. Then E wants down there and if she stands up she will whack her head on the bottom part. Logical solution is no one under the ftable and when I calmly tell T to get out she (MIL) goes "ooooh, mommy is mad".

FTHATNOISE. Trying to pit my kid against me? So she will like nana best? GTFO.

I just keep telling myself next year T will be in all day school and in two years E will be in preschool. I just have to keep it together that long.

My step-sister is like this. She constantly calls me a 'mean mommy' and undermines me with my kids. You know, because we leave sleeping babies in their car seats at restaurants, and ask DD to put her toys aside during dinner. SO MEAN. And then she'll talk loudly about 'letting kids be kids' and hand her something I've just asked her to play with after dinner. I've seen how her kid turned out. No thanks.

[5ofthem2ofus]

My MIL is a legit wackado!! I'm. It going to bore you will years of bitching but her passive aggressive meddling has put a wedge between us and family- I get along a lot better with my husband's father side of the family and my mother-in-law doesn't understand why we don't like her side of the family but initially she was the one who started talking crap about me when we first got together. Is one cousin actually said to him right before we got married that she can't wait to hear were getting divorced can you say C U next Tuesday!!!! She doesn't cook but I enjoy cooking for the holidays she gets all pissed off we don't want to show up to her moms house even though usually do make an appearance but it's never good enough! I found out she was telling people
I was keeping DH from the Family before she even really got to know me I found out because she would always tell me how she always stood up for me she always had my back I never understood why when they didn't know me and I realize that she was standing up for me for rumors that she started and had to correct!

We didn't even get invited to Easter which I find funny but I'm sure she's crying to her husband about how we didn't even call or try to find out if there are plans even though again like I said I like to cook so I like to host things at my house with my family.


I really can't handle how she tries to guilt trip my husband into making him feel bad for her by crying! It's a sick game.

And she barely knows the baby she acts as though our DD is her favorite special bond grandchild but she barely aknowledges the baby because apparently the fact that I didn't call her or have her come to the hospital before I had him and then stay with me the week after because she was of no help when I had my daughter I took something from her. LOONEY!

And then we had had plans of meeting up with her at McDonald's right after I lost the baby last month and we weren't going to tell anybody but my husband told her that we weren't up to it And told her why, and she was all like don't worry I won't tell Sarah that you told me! why in the fuck would she think that my husband wouldn't run it past me before telling her?!

[shellbell]

Apr 6, 2015 8:41:39 GMT -5 tLex said:

shellbell WTAF ...a livingroom? Is that a weird critique of the way your current space is set up? (Eg maybe she thinks there should/shouldn't be a TV in a livingroom, I don't know what you have.)

Idk? I take any and all home advice from her with a grain of salt. Her house is barely furnished, let alone decorated.

[5ofthem2ofus]

Apr 6, 2015 8:48:55 GMT -5 carseat said:

Apr 6, 2015 8:38:41 GMT -5 laur said:

My main beef with MIL yesterday is she doesn't just let the girls act badly, she encourages it.

Like telling T to get under the table and play during dinner. Then E wants down there and if she stands up she will whack her head on the bottom part. Logical solution is no one under the ftable and when I calmly tell T to get out she (MIL) goes "ooooh, mommy is mad".

FTHATNOISE. Trying to pit my kid against me? So she will like nana best? GTFO.

I just keep telling myself next year T will be in all day school and in two years E will be in preschool. I just have to keep it together that long.

My step-sister is like this. She constantly calls me a 'mean mommy' and undermines me with my kids. You know, because we leave sleeping babies in their car seats at restaurants, and ask DD to put her toys aside during dinner. SO MEAN. And then she'll talk loudly about 'letting kids be kids' and hand her something I've just asked her to play with after dinner. I've seen how her kid turned out. No thanks.

Then I'm a mean mommy also!

[carseat]

If it's any consolation the personal sized ham and living room-less house are making my morning.

5ofthem2ofus, ugh, I'm so sorry. She sounds really, really awful.

[shellbell]

Apr 6, 2015 8:44:06 GMT -5 tLex said:

My MIL was a peach at the mass we attended during LO's naptime just for her yesterday. She turned to me while I was BF'ing c and said "there's a mother and baby room you know" and I said "the Pope said, "mothers, feed your babies!"" And grinned at her. Then when H took loudly fussy LO to the baby room she made a big loud whisper fuss to me saying "he doesn't have to do that, he doesn't have to miss the service, it's okay if she cries out here."

Ahhhhh the good old double standard. Your boobs are distracting to other worshippers, tLex. Your screaming baddler is not.

[shellbell]

carseat when I buy my living room-less house, you and your gang are invited to my housewarming. It'll be so much fun to host you all in my master bedroom!

[carseat]

Apr 6, 2015 8:55:51 GMT -5 shellbell said:

carseat when I buy my living room-less house, you and your gang are invited to my housewarming. It'll be so much fun to host you all in my master bedroom!

You're going to have the sexiest parties.

[5ofthem2ofus]

Apr 6, 2015 8:52:06 GMT -5 carseat said:

If it's any consolation the personal sized ham and living room-less house are making my morning.

5ofthem2ofus, ugh, I'm so sorry. She sounds really, really awful.

I guess I just can't get over how manipulative she is, she plays as though she's this free-spirited hippie like easy-going person but once I step back and started looking at everything inside she's actually quite calculating-

One time we were having an argument on the phone me her and my husband he had her on speaker and she was bitching about me saying I had said something or something about a text not getting translate well to her- I had finally just said tell her to text you from now on and not text me because obviously she's not understanding what I'm trying to say or are saying and she goes (I don't think she knew she was on speaker) she goes to my husband why would she just say that she just said she's done with me she wants nothing to do with me she's never want to talk to me again that's what she just said my husband looking super confused said that's not what she said at all!

[homebrewgirl]

Ugh blondemum that's frustrating. Is there someone else in his family that your H or you can use as your contact for gatherings?

@cara5565 oh my god! I'd be furious! Poor little doggie- ((hugs)) to both of you.

carseat everytime I read about your ILs I just want to smack them and hug you.

shellbell I'm about to compain about gifts in a minute, so no judgement. WTH with taking his lovey!?

[homebrewgirl]

Apr 6, 2015 8:30:41 GMT -5 shellbell said:

OMG it was so bad for homebrewgirl that she's taking to her bed in the middle of the day. T&P.

Eh, mostly I'm just lazy.

[blondemum]

tLex, I love your reply about BFing

carseat, I was actually thinking about you this weekend with YH's family, I hope it went well for you guys (other than BIL not showing).

[blondemum]

homebrewgirl, not really - I think the problem is that none of them are organized at all to get anything together until last minute. FIL is the youngest of four and most of his siblings don't have kids or have kids who live far away, so there aren't a lot of people and most of them don't have other family so I think they assume everyone will just be available at the drop of a hat.

[homebrewgirl]

laur "ooooh mommy is mad." Oh hell no!

tLex I love that you said "feed your babies" you rule lady!

5ofthem2ofus Just wow.

[carseat]

Thanks for letting me bitch about that. You ladies are the best. ♥ The kicker is that this is a BIL that we're supposedly on good terms with. The last time we saw him (Christmas 2013) everything seemed fine. That was a long ass time ago. I know part of it is that we were excluded from so many family things for a whole year, but he's made no effort to be at anything where we could have seen him in that whole time. My SIL (his wife, H's step-sister) is at everything. And I love her - she's wonderful and extraordinarily kind. And so is this BIL! It's just kind of weird, and I'm really only bothered by it because of the way I've been treated for taking space for much less time and for a really damn good reason.

Dysfunctional Brady Bunch.

[katm84]

Ugh, so sorry for you all. This makes me glad my IL's live 7 hours away. I hate it for LO because she doesn't know them at all, and they've only seen her twice since she was born. Even though they're retired and take several long vacations all over the world throughout the year, they're too "busy" to come spend time with their granddaughter.

[laur]

I will say that H always has my back. He is the first to stand up for me when she pulls shit so at least there is that.

But she did tell T that the easter bunny got confused and hid eggs at her house which she brought to Great Aunt's house and hid for him. What a tangled web we weave when we are a fucking moron.