+ + + + WEEKLY GOAL SETTING 4/6/15 + + + +

[icequeen]

Good afternoon, ladies!

Happy Monday! Time for a new week of goals. Please first briefly remind us what your goals were for the previous week and give an update on how you did. You can give as much or as little information as you like. Then, please list any new goals you may have or state that you would like to continue working on the same goals from previous weeks if they have not been accomplished yet, or are long term goals.

Thank you

[spencer1337]

hello! This is my first check in, but i will share my goal that i set with my therapist last week. She wanted me to set a small goal each day, that i know i can get done, thats just for me. It supposed to help me have a feeling of accomplishment since i have a hard time reaching the goals i set for myself. So i did. I planted some herbs in my garden that i have been wanting to do for awhile. It did make me feel good to finally check something off my list. But then i went inside and saw how the house was a disaster area and and i still had a million things to do before dinner and all that good feelings vanished. I feel like i cant focus on all the fun me things bc i still dont have a grasp on even getting the everyday things done! My brain just kept saying that if i didnt spend that 30 min planting that i could have had this kitchen cleaned or a load of laundry done. I'm trying to stay positive, but its been a hard week.

[yoshijo28]

Thank you icequeen
spencer1337 I understand how things seem so overwhelming at times and even if you accomplish one thing you feel like you never made a dent in anything you had to do. But just focus on one thing at a time. It's also really important to carve out some time for yourself like you are doing. It may seem to be adding stress because it takes the place of chores, but it's really important to do anyway.

Goal #1: Do not increase resistance at the gym to compensate for eating more than I am comfortable with.
I guess I accomplished this, but failed when looking at the big picture. I added another exercise day to compensate instead. I even cancelled a work meeting to go to the gym

Goal #2 Put away my clothes each night.
I did this about 50% of the time. I just didn't have the motivation.

I was debating not doing any more ED related goals because I am just getting worse with what I'm doing and am not really trying to meet my goals. I'm giving up on the compensatory ones and will focus on something else.

Goal #1 Eat 2 of the 60 calorie chocolates I got for Easter.
Long term or short term: Short Term
Why is this important: I'm having a hard time eating sweets without the urge to binge or just feeling anxious. Plus, I feel guilty not eating anything from my Easter basket.
How will I accomplish it: cut it in half and try to have a small piece each night

Goal #2 Make sure I have enough energy and am focused at work for a seminar I have a few days this week
Long term or short term: Short term
Why is this important: I'm the main contact person for it and the info I learn will help my team. I just have a hard time with the OCD, compulsive thoughts and not eating enough sometimes to focus.
How will I accomplish this: Make sure I eat close to the class time, try to relax and focus

[icequeen]

Hi y'all,

Last week was good for me. It wasn't the previous week because I was dealing with a really emotional series of events that just made it impossible for me to be perfect. I just couldn't catch a break last week. I was a little disappointed because I wanted to do better.

Goal 1: Eat 150-200 calorie breakfast of fruit and carbohydrates.
I was able to do this on all days except two. Wednesday I wanted to have an extra serving of tuna at lunch so I purposely saved my calories for later. Saturday I skipped entirely because my DD woke up extra early and I couldn't do my run and felt like I didn't deserve any food.

Goal 2: Reduce my running mileage and do extra yoga for two easier workout days (T/F).
I was almost able to do this. I ran 5 miles on Tuesday and did about 10 minutes of yoga (because I ran more than intended), but I had to move my easy workout to Saturday because of weather related reasons. Because I couldn't run alone, I ran/walked for an hour with DDs' jogging stroller and then did abs and pushups so it was probably a little less lighter than a normal day but not much.

Goal 3: Weigh twice a week (T/F)
I was able to do this.

Goals for this week:

Goal 1: Eat minimum 200 calorie breakfast of fruits and carbs.
Short or long term? Long
Why is it important? I'm still weak and shaky towards lunchtime and I struggled with this last week too.
How am I going to accomplish it? I have 3 different plans for breakfast that I will switch up over the week.

Goal 2: Have one easy workout day of 5 miles with yoga.
Short or long term? Short
Why is it important? I don't want running to be something I have to do but for enjoyment also.
How am I going to accomplish it? Tell my husband my plan so he knows not to get me up earlier on Sunday.

Goal 3: Weigh once a week (F).
Short or long term? Short
Why is it important? My eating and exercise is ruled by how much I weigh and I need to let go of my dependence on the scale.
How am I going to accomplish it? Willpower.

[flcl]

My goals aren't changing as both are long term goals

Goal #1: engage in a conversation at least once a week about whatever he wants and not just LO, the house, work, etc...
Long Term
Why is it important?: H and I had such a great relationship before LO was born. It's not that we have a bad relationship now but we definitely don't take the time for each other like we did before.
update Last week wasn't the greatest week for us. H has a bad habit of NOT engaging in conversations with me when I need him to and it's frustrating. This causes me to shut down and just stop talking altogether.

Goal #2: begin adding exercise to the weekdays (same as last week)
Long Term
Why is it important?: Exercise has always been a key component to my treatment. Working out on the weekends is easy but with LO, working out during the week days has become a challenge.
update This past week was easy to workout during the week because I was off of work and my p's are still in town. I got to get outside to run a lot which felt great. I miss running long distances but feel guilty with how much time it takes me away from LO.

[bluerainfire]

Still working on gaols from last week- Will be buying a new outfit Thursday, and plan to hopefully go through more rooms of the house next monday if I am not called into work. Still working on my long term goal which is anxiety releated.

some short term goals- working on my resume. why because I am unhappy at my job, and I am making excuses about the flexibility. Pros and cons, I need a flexible job, I had daycare for my son and I enjoy being with my dd and feel like I missed a lot. cons, i am worried I won't get a better job because I think I am not deserving. I have a lot of excuses, but step one is just rehashing my resume.

short term- do a social activity with the dh and or friend without kids around. I need to have adult conversations that are not just work related. I have social anxiety, but I always feel better after I go out.

second long term goal- bite the bullet and see a therapist again- i need help with my issues- problems i have had terrible therapist in the past, and I dread opening a new relationship

[runnergirl812]

Didn't have goals from last week, so here goes for this week:

Goal #1: Finish this Gahtdayum review.
Short term
Why: So that I can keep my job and keep my coworker (who is waiting on it) happy

Goal #2: Keep looking for and applying for jobs.
Long term
Why: Because my health, sanity, and anxiety levels can't take working in a low-walled cubicle for much longer. These last two days I've worked from home and it just "works" better for me. I can open up all the windows, the house is quiet, I can go for a walk, and there's no one dropping in unless it's email or the phone. It's just so much more relaxing. And I think I'll be able to get more done that being in an office.

Goal #3: Start walking everyday (short) so that I can start running again (long)
Long term and short:
Why: Because I am a runner who stopped. Last year I lost all motivation (depression combined with thyroid issues) and I really miss it. I miss the miles and the feeling of having done 4-10 miles. I miss half marathons and 10ks. I miss the solitude and I miss my body. I'm about 10 lbs over my "normal' and it's because I cut out running. So for the short term, I'm walking, then will run-walk, then will run. I will do this!

[Deleted]

Goal #1- Try to control my emotions: Well, this past weekend I went crazy over my stupid chart and TTC. I didn't take anything out on my husband, but I did let CD1 really get to me and cried the majority of Sunday. I'm feeling better about everything today though. I have some updated new goals to try to help me for my next cycle.
Goal #2- Exercise : Last week I didn't exercise at all. I got incredibly lazy and did nothing.

So my goals for last week were pretty shitty. Unfortunately my feelings got to me and they really took over my life. So here are my goals for this week!

Goal #1- EXERCISE AND EAT HEALTHY!!!: I feel like one of the reasons my cycles have been longer is because I haven't been as active as I normally am, and I've been eating horribly! I need to come up with an eating plan and a workout schedule. I just started using my rower machine yesterday, and I'm hoping to use it every other day and run in between. I've gained too much weight in the last year, and I need to get back to feeling better about myself.

Goal #2- Try not to obsess about TTC!: This is a big one for me. I'm doing absolutely everything I can to get pregnant- charting, temping, OPK etc. I need to let things happen and not stress over it. I do not want to go back on medication for my anxiety, so I really need to get my shit together to avoid this. I just need to keep busy, and preoccupied.

GL everyone on their weekly goals!

[icequeen]

spencer1337, I like the idea of having one small goal one day at a time. I never thought of it that way. Don't let the size of the accomplishment detract from the effort it took for you to do it. Small victories are better than none at all.
yoshijo28, I know you are having a hard time but I don't want you to give up on yourself. You are worth recovering. Why do you think you are not trying? Is it because you do not want to get better? That is what I did so I understand. I had to ask myself what would it take for me to want to change, and it really took rock bottom for me to turn around and want to get better. I don't want you to get to get to that point. Good job on your clothes, though! The chocolate one is a big deal. I will be amazed and inspired if you can do it! And yes, PLEASE eat before your seminar. You don't want to get up and lose your concentration and get all fuzzy. It looks unprofessional and is totally avoidable, and nothing to do with your level of talent.
flcl, why does H do this? Is he aware he's doing it? Have you confronted him? Great job on the exercise! Have you considered buying a jogging stroller? I use mine with my DD sometimes. I don't know how old your LO is but maybe that is an option. Regardless, even if you go out for half an hour, that is by NO MEANS excessive time away.
bluerainfire, I think updating your resume is a crucial first step. You are on the right track and good job for realizing that you deserve better and are capable of doing better! Adult convos are also important and I think they will help you for work purposes too. The therapist is tricky, though. You just have to keep trying. Just remember you are not obligated to anyone and there are plenty of therapists. Just call your insurance and have them provide you with a list of providers and do a google search on each one and narrow it down based on who you think you would click with. Don't be afraid to ask for recs, too.
runnergirl812, I'm keeping my FX for youy job apps! I'm also a runner who stopped and you are doing the right thing. It is completely possible to get back into it. Just ease your way back in the same way I described last week. You will get there!
@erin2021, I was thinking about you a lot over the weekend. I am so sorry you had a terrible Easter. So many hugs to you. I am so happy that you sound so positive and I am here for you. Your goals sound manageable and I know you have it in you to accomplish them. The TTC is difficult for everyone, so just know you are not alone. That's why the boards are here.

[yoshijo28]

Apr 7, 2015 9:15:23 GMT -5 icequeen said:

spencer1337, I like the idea of having one small goal one day at a time. I never thought of it that way. Don't let the size of the accomplishment detract from the effort it took for you to do it. Small victories are better than none at all.
yoshijo28, I know you are having a hard time but I don't want you to give up on yourself. You are worth recovering. Why do you think you are not trying? Is it because you do not want to get better? That is what I did so I understand. I had to ask myself what would it take for me to want to change, and it really took rock bottom for me to turn around and want to get better. I don't want you to get to get to that point. Good job on your clothes, though! The chocolate one is a big deal. I will be amazed and inspired if you can do it! And yes, PLEASE eat before your seminar. You don't want to get up and lose your concentration and get all fuzzy. It looks unprofessional and is totally avoidable, and nothing to do with your level of talent.
flcl, why does H do this? Is he aware he's doing it? Have you confronted him? Great job on the exercise! Have you considered buying a jogging stroller? I use mine with my DD sometimes. I don't know how old your LO is but maybe that is an option. Regardless, even if you go out for half an hour, that is by NO MEANS excessive time away.
bluerainfire, I think updating your resume is a crucial first step. You are on the right track and good job for realizing that you deserve better and are capable of doing better! Adult convos are also important and I think they will help you for work purposes too. The therapist is tricky, though. You just have to keep trying. Just remember you are not obligated to anyone and there are plenty of therapists. Just call your insurance and have them provide you with a list of providers and do a google search on each one and narrow it down based on who you think you would click with. Don't be afraid to ask for recs, too.
runnergirl812, I'm keeping my FX for youy job apps! I'm also a runner who stopped and you are doing the right thing. It is completely possible to get back into it. Just ease your way back in the same way I described last week. You will get there!
@erin2021, I was thinking about you a lot over the weekend. I am so sorry you had a terrible Easter. So many hugs to you. I am so happy that you sound so positive and I am here for you. Your goals sound manageable and I know you have it in you to accomplish them. The TTC is difficult for everyone, so just know you are not alone. That's why the boards are here.

Yes, sometimes I've convinced myself I am ok and do not need treatment because I don't have an ED. I want to keep doing what I'm doing because it helps keep me calm. And I'm so close to my goal weight.

[icequeen]

yoshijo28, I get how the ED helps you stay calm. The weight is at least one thing you have power over if you can't keep everything under control like at work, at home, in the world in general. But the thing is, you can't keep losing more weight to deal with the anxiety. There is only so much weight, restricting, and exercising you can do. When you reach the very bottom and haven't learned any other ways of coping with stress and anxiety, it will so so SO much more difficult for you to learn. It's probably better to start working on it now.

[booksntea]

@erin2021 - congrats on not taking your emotions out on anybody - I think that is a huge achievement
yoshijo28 - I think I can understand your desire not to have ED goals. Maybe it is because in some way ED is a symptom or manifestation of something more profound that affects you.(?) Maybe you could try a very gentle simple goal to spend a little time on self care, whether that is through meditation,taking a bath, getting a massage, just as a start of expressing some love for yourself.

My goal last week was to give more of myself to my husband. I think I did this somewhat. We had our first therapy session together in a while and addressed an issue that is very important to him which I don't like to talk about. There is room for improvement though and I need to listen more. I am not sure why I am so resistant to listening to him but I need to open up more to him.

My goal this week is to stop smoking for the rest of the week. I have had a one cigarette a day habit on and off for a while. I generally will have this cigarette if LO is not napping or if there is been some huge stress going on.
The truth is I really enjoy having this cigarette, I do find it peaceful and relaxing.
However, ultimately I think it is bad for me on many different levels.
I commit to meditate this week instead of having a cigarette.

[Deleted]

Apr 10, 2015 9:00:09 GMT -5 booksntea said:

@erin2021 - congrats on NOT taking your emotions out on anybody - I think that is a huge achievement
yoshijo28 - I think I can understand your desire not to have ED goals. Maybe it is because in some way ED is a symptom or manifestation of something more profound that affects you.(?) Maybe you could try a very gentle simple goal to spend a little time on self care, whether that is through meditation,taking a bath, getting a massage, just as a start of expressing some love for yourself.

My goal last week was to give more of myself to my husband. I think I did this somewhat. We had our first therapy session together in a while and addressed an issue that is very important to him which I don't like to talk about. There is room for improvement though and I need to listen more. I am not sure why I am so resistant to listening to him but I need to open up more to him.

My goal this week is to stop smoking for the rest of the week. I have had a one cigarette a day habit on and off for a while. I generally will have this cigarette if LO is not napping or if there is been some huge stress going on.
The truth is I really enjoy having this cigarette, I do find it peaceful and relaxing.
However, ultimately I think it is bad for me on many different levels.
I commit to meditate this week instead of having a cigarette.

Sorry had to fix that! Haha!

Thank you!

[booksntea]

Apr 10, 2015 9:03:21 GMT -5 @erin2021 said:

Apr 10, 2015 9:00:09 GMT -5 booksntea said:

@erin2021 - congrats on NOT taking your emotions out on anybody - I think that is a huge achievement
yoshijo28 - I think I can understand your desire not to have ED goals. Maybe it is because in some way ED is a symptom or manifestation of something more profound that affects you.(?) Maybe you could try a very gentle simple goal to spend a little time on self care, whether that is through meditation,taking a bath, getting a massage, just as a start of expressing some love for yourself.

My goal last week was to give more of myself to my husband. I think I did this somewhat. We had our first therapy session together in a while and addressed an issue that is very important to him which I don't like to talk about. There is room for improvement though and I need to listen more. I am not sure why I am so resistant to listening to him but I need to open up more to him.

My goal this week is to stop smoking for the rest of the week. I have had a one cigarette a day habit on and off for a while. I generally will have this cigarette if LO is not napping or if there is been some huge stress going on.
The truth is I really enjoy having this cigarette, I do find it peaceful and relaxing.
However, ultimately I think it is bad for me on many different levels.
I commit to meditate this week instead of having a cigarette.

Sorry had to fix that! Haha!

Thank you!

oops!! haha!!

[yoshijo28]

icequeen I know you make a good point. I'm still working on that, which is why I haven't given up on therapy yet
booksntea you're right, it is something more than just eating more or not exercising as much, which makes it very difficult to stop the behavior. What it is, I'm not sure, but I'm trying to figure it out! Meditation always makes me anxious for some reason but maybe I just don't know what to do. It is something to look into. Good luck with your goals this week, I'm really hoping you stay stay away from having a cigarette! I know what compulsion to do something that relives anxiety feels like, so I know how difficult it can be.

[icequeen]

Apr 10, 2015 9:00:09 GMT -5 booksntea said:

@erin2021 - congrats on not taking your emotions out on anybody - I think that is a huge achievement
yoshijo28 - I think I can understand your desire not to have ED goals. Maybe it is because in some way ED is a symptom or manifestation of something more profound that affects you.(?) Maybe you could try a very gentle simple goal to spend a little time on self care, whether that is through meditation,taking a bath, getting a massage, just as a start of expressing some love for yourself.

My goal last week was to give more of myself to my husband. I think I did this somewhat. We had our first therapy session together in a while and addressed an issue that is very important to him which I don't like to talk about. There is room for improvement though and I need to listen more. I am not sure why I am so resistant to listening to him but I need to open up more to him.

My goal this week is to stop smoking for the rest of the week. I have had a one cigarette a day habit on and off for a while. I generally will have this cigarette if LO is not napping or if there is been some huge stress going on.
The truth is I really enjoy having this cigarette, I do find it peaceful and relaxing.
However, ultimately I think it is bad for me on many different levels.
I commit to meditate this week instead of having a cigarette.

booksntea, I think you did great! I know it is hard to talk about things you don't want to talk about in front of a stranger and that took a lot of courage on your part. I'm sure YH appreciated it and I hope you can see that in your marriage, both your feelings and his feelings matter equally and both of you should be able to express whatever you are feeling without repercussions. That's why it's great to have a third party liaison between y'all. Best of luck with cigs, this is a huge step. You can do this.