What are your irrational birth fears?

[mrsdee1982]

Please tell me I am not alone in having a few irrational fears about birth.

Here are mine.  Make me feel better and share yours.

1) I fear that as a FTM, I won't know I am in labor and I'll be one of those women who give birth on the toilet.  (Pretty sure I'll know when I am in labor)
2) I fear that I won't leave the house on time and I'll be on the news for giving birth on the side of the road (I live 15 minutes from the hospital, so we'd have to really push it for this to be a possibility) 
3) I fear that I'll be on the news for giving birth to a 14 pound baby  (Maybe not so irrational.  Baby girl is measuring big.  Already an estimated 5 pounds and I have 8 weeks to go!)  

[bruunk]

1. Not being in control. I'm a control freak and I'm working really hard to get it in my head that I am not in control of this - my body will do what it needs to do and I can't dictate that. I'm worried that I'll panic because I won't feel in control and that will stall/hamper labor.

2. That I can't do it.

3. I'm worried about getting to the hospital TOO soon. And I get sent away. Multiple times.

[Bluedaisy]

I'm terrified that my son will have a massive, bowling ball sized head.

[Bluedaisy]

Apr 6, 2015 16:35:10 GMT -5 @imapenguin said:

I'm afraid that my MIL is going to show up even though we've told her there will be no visitors until a couple hours after the baby is here. I don't think she considers herself a visitor.

I'm afraid I'll be forced into a c-section because the baby is "measuring big." I don't want one unless its medically necessary and my family has big babies so I know that's not necessarily a medical necessity if size is the only factor.

I'm afraid DH won't be able to provide the support I think I'll need either because his mom shows up and he'll feel like he needs to entertain her or he won't do well with the actual labor process...especially if that process includes a c-section.

I'm also worried about DH in the labor process.  I'm sure he'll do fine but I'm worried that he'll drive me crazy and won't understand how intense it is.

[belle0720]

I'm afraid that I'm going to die during childbirth. I've had a perfectly normal pregnancy and no health issues, but it's always been something I've been scared of.

It happened on an episode of Grey's Anatomy recently and then they kept her heart pumping to get the baby out and naturally(wtf?) I just turn to H and ask him what if that happens to me. I have to stop watching that show while I'm pregnant.

[mrskblack11]

I am just afraid of something happening to the baby. Nothing else seems to worry me.

[bruunk]

I'm not so worried about DH during the process, my mom and sister will be helping (all three people I can look at and say fuck off with out hurting their feelings - and I know will help coach me, etc), so I know he'll be able to tap out if he's overwhelmed or feeling freaked out (do I get to tap out? No? Not an option?). I'm not so worried about IL showing up during labor, more about people showing up after the baby is here - we've said no visitors until we're home and ready, but I'm not sure how well my family will listen to that.

[junch817]

I'm terrified of trying for a VBAC and having my uterus rupture.
I'm also super nervous of trying to have the baby vaginally and him getting stuck and dislocating a shoulder. That is a huge fear of mine.
Very nervous about getting to the hospital in time and making sure DD is taken care of. I'm nervous of a super fast labor and having to take her with us in the car and me screaming in pain and scaring her.
Also scared of how much I'll miss her while I'm at the hospital. Never spent a night away from her.

[laurenlou83]

I'm afraid my water will break while I'm at Target or something and I'll freak out, be embarrassed and start crying.
I'm afraid I won't know when it is labor and I'll either be 10cm once I show up at the hospital, or I'll get sent home 5x because I'm not in active labor.
I have a fear of something being wrong with the baby, or something happening to me during delivery.
I'm cray cray.

[pghtruelove]

1. That I am going to throw up during labor.
2. The epidural won't work.
3. That this labor is going to be completely different from my last one(11 years ago when I was 13) which was fast and easy! I know it's not going to be the same but im hoping for a similar one!
4. That something will be wrong with baby girl :-(

[bendherova]

Delivering another baby with cord around the neck. I had no idea with DS1, but now I know what signs to look for (in terms of personnel in the room, HR, how the residents and docs act). knowing will cause me to panic, even though DS1 was fine. No thank you.

[bendherova]

Apr 6, 2015 17:02:19 GMT -5 @jemomma said:

Apr 6, 2015 16:59:54 GMT -5 @demanda88 said:

Hands down, I'm terrified of pooping during childbirth.

lol.  It WILL happen. And you will not care when it does, you will be too focused on getting your LO out.  Nurses are usually very discreet about it.

I know I did, but I had no idea it was happening in the moment.

Puking happened too.

[kemdupuis]

1. That I am not mentally and physically strong enough to actually give birth to a child.

2. That DH will pass out and/or not be able to keep it together enough to be the support that I need. We aren't allowing anyone else in the delivery room- and I am freaking that he willbe incapacitated and I will essentially be on my own.

3. That MIL and FIL will not respect our wishes for a week with no visitors. I know my parents will because I have bluntly told them how we feel and they have enough social graces to honor it. DH's parents- not so much.

4. How I will feel and cope with everything afterwards. I know my lady bits are going to be pretty mangled, but I am hoping its not going to be as bad as I have convinced myself it's going to be.

5. That breastfeeding will be too hard/painful and I wont be able to deal.

[wegrowsheep]

Apr 6, 2015 17:58:29 GMT -5 pghtruelove said:

1. That I am going to throw up during labor.
2. The epidural won't work.
3. That this labor is going to be completely different from my last one(11 years ago when I was 13) which was fast and easy! I know it's not going to be the same but im hoping for a similar one!
4. That something will be wrong with baby girl :-(

Totally puked during transition on my last two deliveries...but then, I'd puked my way through both pregnancies so I was pretty good at it, lol. Not the same, obviously. And I won't lie, it was the really fucking intense pain that did it. Labor hurts. But by the time I got to transition, I knew the end was near.

On that note, my fear is that transition will last forever. Not making it to the hospital is an actually possibility, but somehow, I'm not scared of that. I just hate the pain.

Nurses are rockstars at making the messes go away.

[mcp6286]

MIL showing up even though she's been told not to and the epidural making me throw up are definitely my top two also. Also, I'm afraid of the catheter...that it will hurt going in/coming out and of not being able to use the bathroom for 12 hours without it.

I have strangely few fears related to the actual c-section itself. I know in my head that there are many things that could go wrong but I'm feeling very calm about it right now. We'll see how I'm doing in a couple more weeks lol

[nettje]

Apr 6, 2015 17:02:19 GMT -5 @jemomma said:

Apr 6, 2015 16:59:54 GMT -5 @demanda88 said:

Hands down, I'm terrified of pooping during childbirth.

lol.  It WILL happen. And you will not care when it does, you will be too focused on getting your LO out.  Nurses are usually very discreet about it.

I'm pretty sure I pooped on the operating table. One of the nurses was helping me with the spinal (holding me up) and I told her it felt like I had to poop. She told me it was nothing to worry about.

[nettje]

My fear: that I won't make it to my scheduled c-section date... That this LO is going to come early and rather than having everything go smoothly, I'll be rushed in for another emergency c-section. DNW.

[Deleted]

Having a c-section or another episiotomy scare the ever loving shit out of me. More the c-section, since that's major surgery, but it did take me about 6 weeks to heal from the episiotomy last time and it was a good three months before I could have sex. Just nope nope nope to both of those.

[Widget123]

I'm afraid of something happening that will result in me giving birth to a premie (naturally or require them to induce me pre-term). I was scared enough of having a very small DD who was term (worrying if she was getting enough to eat, weighing her at home, etc.)... having a baby in the NICU would terrify me and I wouldn't be able to be with him all the time. Mothers who have been in this situation before are very strong.

[neongreen]

Apr 6, 2015 19:47:02 GMT -5 Widget123 said:

I'm afraid of something happening that will result in me giving birth to a premie (naturally or require them to induce me pre-term). I was scared enough of having a very small DD who was term (worrying if she was getting enough to eat, weighing her at home, etc.)... having a baby in the NICU would terrify me and I wouldn't be able to be with him all the time. Mothers who have been in this situation before are very strong.

Yep. At this point, I just want to keep these twins in as long as (safely) possible, and while I know it's not the end of the world, I'd be beyond thrilled if they don't need any time in the NICU. I can't say I'm jumping for joy over the idea of the spinal whatever for the c-section, but I'll manage.

[santoki77]

Apr 6, 2015 16:59:54 GMT -5 @demanda88 said:

Hands down, I'm terrified of pooping during childbirth.

Probably my biggest fear as well!

Oh. And my DH fainting in the delivery room

[billyhorrible]

Apr 6, 2015 19:33:53 GMT -5 @bubbs119 said:

Apr 6, 2015 19:27:32 GMT -5 nettje said:

I'm pretty sure I pooped on the operating table. One of the nurses was helping me with the spinal (holding me up) and I told her it felt like I had to poop. She told me it was nothing to worry about.

Nurses who are active in bedside care are not phased by poop in the slightest (with some very few exceptions). This is not a concern I have. Everybody poops. I am however concerned about having H see me poop. NO THANK YOU PLEASE. 

DH says this was the worst part of the birth.  Seeing a giant head coming out of my vagina didn't phase him as much as he thought it would, but he was not thrilled about the poop.


My only irrational fear is a stillbirth.  The thought of going through all this and going home from the hospital without a baby terrifies me.

[sugarkissed]

Uterine rupture while trying for a VBAC is a huge fear of mine, second only to something being wrong with the baby.

[wormgerm]

I'm with billyhorrible here. Stillbirth is my number one fear.

[cnumbers]

My fears are ..

1. Not being able to do it, mentally or physically, I'm scared I'll get too exhausted or that I just won't be able to push a baby out through my hoohah.

2. I'm scared of embarrassment. That I'll be too embarrassed by people looking at my lady bits that I won't be able to focus, I'm also scared of pooping myself.

3. Csection. I hate any form of surgery & I know it may be nessicary but yeah I'm scared of that possibility. I'm also afraid I'll bleed to death.

[noeliav]

Number one fear is not coming out of this with a take-home baby. Then, not making it to the hospital/birth center before the baby is delivered. Transition scares me, honestly, but I've been through it before, and came out alive, so (rationally) I know it will be fine.

I didn't poop during delivery, but DD did, lol.

[jcprn]

Apr 6, 2015 19:59:50 GMT -5 neongreen said:

Apr 6, 2015 19:47:02 GMT -5 Widget123 said:

I'm afraid of something happening that will result in me giving birth to a premie (naturally or require them to induce me pre-term). I was scared enough of having a very small DD who was term (worrying if she was getting enough to eat, weighing her at home, etc.)... having a baby in the NICU would terrify me and I wouldn't be able to be with him all the time. Mothers who have been in this situation before are very strong.

Yep. At this point, I just want to keep these twins in as long as (safely) possible, and while I know it's not the end of the world, I'd be beyond thrilled if they don't need any time in the NICU. I can't say I'm jumping for joy over the idea of the spinal whatever for the c-section, but I'll manage.

At my breastfeeding class like 4 weeks ago there was a woman pregnant with twins at 36 weeks. She even looked, dare I say, comfortable. I thought that was super impressive.

[silv3rlining]

Hemmoraghing again, but being worse than the 1st time.

[mirage86]

The two on my mind:

1. That the baby will be breach and they'll just go straight to C-section without even trying to get it to turn. My mom gave birth vaginally to 9 babies, 3 of the first 4 were breach, (myself included) and she had me with only 1 push! I kind of hate that they don't train doctors around here to know how to deal with breach births, just in case that is what happens when the time comes.

2. I only measured 26 wks at my 28 wk appointment, so my Dr. said that we'll keep an eye on that and do an ultrasound next time if I am still measuring behind. Now I keep having SS moments when I worry that the baby isn't growing enough and that I will have to be induced right away because something is wrong.