AW....Family Plans and TTC clash & issue with OPP (family)
Apr 7, 2015 17:23:07 GMT -5
Post by KirstenAlecia on Apr 7, 2015 17:23:07 GMT -5
X_POSTED I wanted some input from some of you who may exclusively participate here in regards to the BIL wedding.....being that you all understanding the AMA and the fear of missing out on THE MONTH
Ladies this is gonna be a bit of a read so please forgive me. It is also a 2 subject post. OPP mentioned for part 2.
So I know you ladies know and understand what its like to endure a loss and then have to be benched for several months on end and all you really can do is think about getting on with it again (even if you feel like emotionally not 100% ready....AMA means the clock it is a ticking)
SO.....My husbands brother is planning his wedding to be a destination wedding in Maui for February. This means if we are to go we have to put on the breaks. This was our first month we were given the go ahead to try again. I have to make a decision right now if we make their wedding a priority or is trying for a baby a priority. For the record I'm 39 in August and the clock is ticking. I don't know what to do. My sister in law to be knows we are trying but really wants us there. For the record they came to the family with the idea of a destination wedding wanting to know what we all thought.....basically looking for the blessing of those that they really wanted there. The parents and the siblings essentially......anyone else is just a bonus. We all said that we would make the trip. I think this is where my dilemma falls.
Now, more than likely I would not get pregnant the first attempts but I have to consider that it could happen.
They announced on Easter that this is the plan.
Now taking into consideration wedding site, travel and accommodations are not booked. So honestly once could stand to reason why put our plans on hold for plans that are not set in stone yet. Do i need to have more of a conversation with FSIL about the possibility to make sure she isn't hurt if we succeed TTC? Do i just not worry about? Cross that bridge if we get to it?
OPP warning
AW post #2.
My sister in law is PG and due in July. She has put a lot of space between us since my MC. We were 5 weeks apart and the last text she let me know that my MC made her scared for her own pregnancy and she needed to stay away for her own positive peace of mind. She and my brother and I were very close previously. Ive gone so far as to stay away from my family on holidays (like Easter this week) so as not to be that scary reminder for her. I do however feel beyond hurt. My brother who is my best friend never once even called or even a simple text to see if I was okay after the huge ordeal that our MC ended up being. I seriously didn't expect much from anyone after our loss but to not even have my brother and sister in law check in was hard because of the relationship we had. I feel like she is the only thing that is a trigger for my emotions anymore. I can come across other women expecting and babies and whatever....no problem. One because of the closeness in what would have been with the 2 of us had we both been PG right now, and the fact that she has used every holiday for milestone announcements (pg announcements, gender reveal, name reveal etc). I feel particularly whiny for that last one the feeling of "why can't i get through a holiday without a reminder" But I'm just gonna say even though I try and not feel that way.....the feelings they creep in. Two because Im incredibly hurt by them making me an outcast. They have every right to do so.......i just wish they would text me on a day I'm not trying to enjoy the day with other family or block me from the FB posts she understands its hard for me she said so.....so a little precaution. I did my part and unfollowed on Social media but the last one still came though. Im sure there are no more to come (next will when the LO arrives Im sure).......so for that I'm thankful
The whole take care of yourself first applies to them in this situation......i should understand that and I just still ache with heartbreak over it.
Thank you for the vent ladies. Its just a rough week I guess......i think I'm just not keeping busy enough maybe.
Ladies this is gonna be a bit of a read so please forgive me. It is also a 2 subject post. OPP mentioned for part 2.
So I know you ladies know and understand what its like to endure a loss and then have to be benched for several months on end and all you really can do is think about getting on with it again (even if you feel like emotionally not 100% ready....AMA means the clock it is a ticking)
SO.....My husbands brother is planning his wedding to be a destination wedding in Maui for February. This means if we are to go we have to put on the breaks. This was our first month we were given the go ahead to try again. I have to make a decision right now if we make their wedding a priority or is trying for a baby a priority. For the record I'm 39 in August and the clock is ticking. I don't know what to do. My sister in law to be knows we are trying but really wants us there. For the record they came to the family with the idea of a destination wedding wanting to know what we all thought.....basically looking for the blessing of those that they really wanted there. The parents and the siblings essentially......anyone else is just a bonus. We all said that we would make the trip. I think this is where my dilemma falls.
Now, more than likely I would not get pregnant the first attempts but I have to consider that it could happen.
They announced on Easter that this is the plan.
Now taking into consideration wedding site, travel and accommodations are not booked. So honestly once could stand to reason why put our plans on hold for plans that are not set in stone yet. Do i need to have more of a conversation with FSIL about the possibility to make sure she isn't hurt if we succeed TTC? Do i just not worry about? Cross that bridge if we get to it?
OPP warning
AW post #2.
My sister in law is PG and due in July. She has put a lot of space between us since my MC. We were 5 weeks apart and the last text she let me know that my MC made her scared for her own pregnancy and she needed to stay away for her own positive peace of mind. She and my brother and I were very close previously. Ive gone so far as to stay away from my family on holidays (like Easter this week) so as not to be that scary reminder for her. I do however feel beyond hurt. My brother who is my best friend never once even called or even a simple text to see if I was okay after the huge ordeal that our MC ended up being. I seriously didn't expect much from anyone after our loss but to not even have my brother and sister in law check in was hard because of the relationship we had. I feel like she is the only thing that is a trigger for my emotions anymore. I can come across other women expecting and babies and whatever....no problem. One because of the closeness in what would have been with the 2 of us had we both been PG right now, and the fact that she has used every holiday for milestone announcements (pg announcements, gender reveal, name reveal etc). I feel particularly whiny for that last one the feeling of "why can't i get through a holiday without a reminder" But I'm just gonna say even though I try and not feel that way.....the feelings they creep in. Two because Im incredibly hurt by them making me an outcast. They have every right to do so.......i just wish they would text me on a day I'm not trying to enjoy the day with other family or block me from the FB posts she understands its hard for me she said so.....so a little precaution. I did my part and unfollowed on Social media but the last one still came though. Im sure there are no more to come (next will when the LO arrives Im sure).......so for that I'm thankful
The whole take care of yourself first applies to them in this situation......i should understand that and I just still ache with heartbreak over it.
Thank you for the vent ladies. Its just a rough week I guess......i think I'm just not keeping busy enough maybe.
