Advice please.
Apr 8, 2015 16:30:01 GMT -5
Post by carolyngrace on Apr 8, 2015 16:30:01 GMT -5
First I want to say that your situation is the WORST. The only thing I can compare it with is a situation with a friend, and I can't imagine going through that with my sister. It sounds like you're trying to handle it as tactfully as you can. Any of us can agree that it's hard to not talk at ALL about your pregnancy/baby, and even if you did that she would still be hurt/offended by seeing your bump.
The similar situation I was in regarded me getting engaged/married while my friend was breaking up with an abusive boyfriend, very depressed, and feeling like she'd never find someone. Our fights went a lot like the ones you're having, and she basically said she couldn't handle being around me. When she WAS around me she was seriously mean about anything related to my happiness. So... we sort of cut each other off. We didn't talk for over a year. When we DID start talking she had started therapy and met someone new. A couple years after that she got married and is in a totally different place, and we've become good friends again.
All that to say, it seems like you just need to give her lots of space. For her AND for you. There isn't going to be a magic answer that makes her happy for you. I have no idea what that looks like, logistically, since you're family.... but my advice would be stop trying to make it work, for now. Tell her you love her and that you're going to keep your distance until you're both in a better place. At least that way you won't have fights that hurt each other further.
The similar situation I was in regarded me getting engaged/married while my friend was breaking up with an abusive boyfriend, very depressed, and feeling like she'd never find someone. Our fights went a lot like the ones you're having, and she basically said she couldn't handle being around me. When she WAS around me she was seriously mean about anything related to my happiness. So... we sort of cut each other off. We didn't talk for over a year. When we DID start talking she had started therapy and met someone new. A couple years after that she got married and is in a totally different place, and we've become good friends again.
All that to say, it seems like you just need to give her lots of space. For her AND for you. There isn't going to be a magic answer that makes her happy for you. I have no idea what that looks like, logistically, since you're family.... but my advice would be stop trying to make it work, for now. Tell her you love her and that you're going to keep your distance until you're both in a better place. At least that way you won't have fights that hurt each other further.