Someone please tell me this is normal***OPP warning***

[bellefontaine]

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My only IRL friend I can confide in about IF called this evening to tell me she's PG.
She struggled for 7 years to conceive her first (She's several years older than me) and has been a great source of encouragement for me in the last year especially. They weren't even trying for a third. She was so upset that this happened so unexpectedly for her while my heart is still aching for a child. Which further proves what a sweet, considerate person she is that she immediately thought of my feelings. One half of me is thrilled for my dear friend yet at the same time I can't help feeling sad. I don't want to feel sad! I want to be 100% happy and I feel so guilty for even having these feelings. I've dealt with all the feels from the regular OPP's over the years. But this is different. This is a fellow IFer that I'm personally close to, and I hate myself for feeling less than completely happy. I feel like anything I confide in her now about my situation will taint her happiness. I've lost a friend to be open and myself with. That's so selfish! I'm a terrible person.   

[astop87]

I feel exactly the same way with both my sisters. My older sis had a baby yesterday and I bawled my eyes out (not in front of her of course) the day she announced her accidental 3rd pregnancy. Then my younger sis is now 4 months along. I want to be over the moon happy for them but my stupid feelings keep getting in the way. I hate myself for thinking this way. It's a struggle to hold myself together when they talk about diaper brands and shopping for rocking chairs. I want so badly to fit in with them. These things are tough. That's why we have this board. I have no one else other than the ladies here to talk to. You're in good company.

[Winolicious]

Sorry. I know it's hard. Its not quite the same but I started TTC with my best friend and I taught her how to chart etc and she got pregnant three months in and I'm still here. I know the internal struggle of being happy for them but being so sad at the same time.

Hugs!

[tumbleweed]

bellefontaine I think your feelings are completely normal. I have had all gradients of anger/jealousy/hurt when it comes to OPP. You are in good company here...your feelings are valid. (((hugs)))

[bellefontaine]

Jan 20, 2015 21:04:27 GMT -5 astop87 said:

I feel exactly the same way with both my sisters. My older sis had a baby yesterday and I bawled my eyes out (not in front of her of course) the day she announced her accidental 3rd pregnancy. Then my younger sis is now 4 months along. I want to be over the moon happy for them but my stupid feelings keep getting in the way. I hate myself for thinking this way. It's a struggle to hold myself together when they talk about diaper brands and shopping for rocking chairs. I want so badly to fit in with them. These things are tough. That's why we have this board. I have no one else other than the ladies here to talk to. You're in good company.

My younger sister went into labor 3 weeks early with her "oops" baby. Which also just so happened to be the day before my HSG. Maybe that's why I'm extra emotional these days. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone! 

[Ann612]

First of all, totally normal. Don't beat yourself up.

Second - I don't think you should stop confiding in her, so long as you still feel support/comfort from doing so. PG or not, she gets the pain and the struggle. I think she'd be more upset if you stopped confiding in her actually.

[remylove1011]

Totally ok to be upset and having a hard time with it. I agree with Ann612 that you can still confide in her if you're feeling supported.

[cateyes]

It is totally normal and ok to have such mixed emotions. Even when I am overjoyed with people who get pregnant, I can't help but feel sad or jealous. I don't think you will lessen her happiness if you still confide in her ether. You guys can share in the joys and sucks of the journey and it may even bring you guys closer together.

[meredithcarole]

That is completely normal. When I found out my closest friend was PG a few months after my loss (and this was during the time I started suspecting I was having some TTTC problems) I literally ugly cried for 24 hours. I had a very hard time with it for about a month. I eventually saw a therapist because it really became the embodiment of all my anger and disappointment. However you feel is okay. I hope it gets easier for you.

[cinzink]

It sucks but is normal. It really hurts though. I try so hard to be happy for friends and family but it's so challenging. I have a hard time spending time with new babies too, even if they are my niece or nephew. The best I can offer as a temporary bandaid is lots of wine. ((Hugs))

[bellefontaine]

Thanks everyone for making me feel not so awful!

[rachaeleigh]

All of your feelings are ABSOLUTELY normal :-)

[sundaybrunch]

Jan 20, 2015 21:08:43 GMT -5 tumbleweed said:

bellefontaine I think your feelings are completely normal. I have had all gradients of anger/jealousy/hurt when it comes to OPP. You are in good company here...your feelings are valid. (((hugs)))

This.  Exactly.

[angm123]

Your feelings are 100% normal. I struggle daily with OPP, even close friends and family. I thought my BFF was announcing a pregnancy today via text messsag (long story) and I nearly threw up my lunch. My heart stopped beating and I thought I could pass out. It's so painful, no matter how happy you want to be for someone.