Monday B-fest

[threetaboos]

Anyone have a something they want to whine/bitch about?

My DS who is one is still no where near sleeping through the night. We're still getting up 3-4 times a night and I'm so tired. He will only go back to sleep if I nurse him so I'm stuck. But I'm not ready to wean.

[littlebee26]

Awww! I hope you're both able to get some more rest soon! Awesome on nursing this long! I want to bitch about work. I love my job, I just need help, and a lot of it, and I hope they come through on their promise to hire a new attorney and a paralegal to help me. I've only been in practice 6 months, I'm not super woman!

[anonymouseliza]

I was offered my new job around March 20. I officially started April 1. I asked for and agreed to a transition period for many reasons, but two weeks in, it is horrible. There isn't enough time for either position, I'm stretched way too thin and feeling incompetent. But more than that, my departure has been common knowledge for three full weeks and they are no closer to even posting my position because they wanted to reclassify it. Never mind the anger I feel over their unwillingness to do that while I was in it - I have to let that go, because I couldn't not have stood working with the new directors. But there is zero urgency on their parts. At this rate, it will be the middle of May at the earliest, and I don't think I can last that long. I am so stressed out right now. Old director doesn't even seem to get that this is a huge favor I'm doing here. God knows I am receiving no additional compensation for trying to manage four departments. I just want to be able to devote my whole attention to figuring out the issues in my current department, because there are more than we thought.

[physiomeg]

I have to go to a continuing Ed class today and tomorrow and the only other person from my work that is going is someone I can't stand having more than a 2 minute conversation with. Two whole days with her sounds like torture.

[hollandmama]

Apr 13, 2015 6:40:34 GMT -5 threetaboos said:

Anyone have a something they want to whine/bitch about?

My DS who is one is still no where near sleeping through the night. We're still getting up 3-4 times a night and I'm so tired. He will only go back to sleep if I nurse him so I'm stuck. But I'm not ready to wean.

Idk if this will make you feel better or worse: my DS who will be 2 in 3 months is NOWHERE near STTN either. He wakes up 4-5 times per night only to let us know he's awake, he doesn't BF anymore.

[anonymouseliza]

Apr 13, 2015 7:22:04 GMT -5 @littleliverpill said:

My bitch this Monday is at my own brain. Getting KU has kicked my anxiety into overdrive -- I worry over every little twinge, obsessively Google statistics, and generally just stress myself out over things I can't control. It's been difficult. Add the banishment of wine as a way to relax and it's just been a bit much.

Hugs, lady. It is hard. I promise it gets easier as you go, but it may not go away entirely. I've found recently that finding the right meditations for me has helped my anxiety significantly. I have no off switch for worries, so mindfulness meditation has been suggested by every therapist I've seen. But I didn't click with the first couple I tried and I gave up. Now I've git something that helps and its better in my head now.

Not that I didn't start crying from anxiety in Target while trying choose a prenatal, but it's better.

[hollandmama]

@littleliverpill hugs hugs! stop googling

[littlebee26]

I agree, stop googling! I totally get the anxiety, though. I'm trying to take it one day at a time.

[negirl824]

I read the title fast and thought it was B-Fast... I got really excited because I love love love breakfast hahah I don't have any bitching to do yet today. ((hugs)) to the ladies that need them!

[physiomeg]

@littleliverpill, I do the same knowledge therapy as you call it, and early on I had to just step away from the Internet for the most part. Some days I even have to step away from here! The research stats were truly the only things that calmed me a bit (seeing the % of miscarriage go down lower as you get further along was comforting, I've got to admit). Be gentle with yourself, it's natural to be worried. Just know that while it is out of your control, that also means you're doing nothing wrong. ((Creepy Internet hugs for you))

[AmazingTulip]

Apr 13, 2015 6:40:34 GMT -5 threetaboos said:

Anyone have a something they want to whine/bitch about?

My DS who is one is still no where near sleeping through the night. We're still getting up 3-4 times a night and I'm so tired. He will only go back to sleep if I nurse him so I'm stuck. But I'm not ready to wean.

That is tough. My DS didn't sleep through the night until 18 months, when I weaned him. The night wakings started to be habit at that point so I started making DH go to him whenever he woke and then he very quickly started sleeping through the night. 

Good luck mama!

[hollandmama]

now I know what I can bitch about...

I went for a bike ride with DS yesterday, he was super happy because we didn't do it in a long time (he was sick for a while and the wind is freezing cold in here), it was sunny but not so warm... well, we both got a cough... now it's gonna be difficult to say no when he asks a bike ride :/

[expatmama11]

@littleliverpill, I'm googling stuff nonstop as well. I would be so embarrassed if someone looked through my browser history.

[hollandmama]

Apr 13, 2015 8:26:38 GMT -5 expatmama11 said:

@littleliverpill, I'm googling stuff nonstop as well. I would be so embarrassed if someone looked through my browser history.

and this is why you should be using incognito mode

[threetaboos]

I googled a lot last pregnancy. I wish my laptop was working right now. Id post a link to a page someone posted in my last BMB. It was a chart of how the odds of miscarriage go down the farther you get along. It really helped keep me calm to look at it everyday and see my chances decreasing. Hugs to all the moms who are having anxiety right now.

[cnf2013]

I totally thought it was breakfast too negirl824.

State testing. Six days of state testing. Kill me.

[littlebee26]

@littleliverpill, thank you for posting that!

[byjove]

threetaboos, same for DD. It kept getting worse and at 18 months, when she was waking every hour and nursing back to sleep was clearly not actually working, we night weaned and things are so improved- usually up only once or twice now, and no nursing. It was so freeing. We still nurse during the day. We weren't into CIO, but consulted a no-cry sleep coach and she said that was the first thing we had to do. It was not easy, and there was a lot of crying the first couple of nights (not CIO, we stayed in there with her and were trying to soothe her), but it was so worth it. Just file that away in your back pocket for when things get unbearable.

[apunicorn]

Apr 13, 2015 7:22:04 GMT -5 @littleliverpill said:

My bitch this Monday is at my own brain. Getting KU has kicked my anxiety into overdrive -- I worry over every little twinge, obsessively Google statistics, and generally just stress myself out over things I can't control. It's been difficult. Add the banishment of wine as a way to relax and it's just been a bit much.

+1

I'm SO worried and keep Googling and peeing on things. All my lines have been dark and I *almost* stopped worrying and then for some reason I decided to pee on a Clear Blue Week Estimator and it said 1-2 weeks. I'm only 4w2d so it's totally in the norm for it to say 1-2 weeks but I am back to super worry. And same as you, I'm not sure what to do to relax since alcohol and a lot of the herbal relaxation supplements are banned. No advice here obviously but big internet hugs. 

[anonymouseliza]

Apr 13, 2015 7:38:30 GMT -5 @littleliverpill said:

Apr 13, 2015 7:30:52 GMT -5 anonymouseliza said:

Hugs, lady. It is hard. I promise it gets easier as you go, but it may not go away entirely. I've found recently that finding the right meditations for me has helped my anxiety significantly. I have no off switch for worries, so mindfulness meditation has been suggested by every therapist I've seen. But I didn't click with the first couple I tried and I gave up. Now I've git something that helps and its better in my head now.

Not that I didn't start crying from anxiety in Target while trying choose a prenatal, but it's better.

Thanks. I think part of the problem is that I usually combat my anxieties by soaking up as much information as I can -- therapy through knowledge, or something; the more I understand the issue, the easier it is for me to cope. The issue with pregnancy, as I'm discovering, is that A. so much of the information is contradictory and/or fear-mongering (pregnant women can't be used in controlled trials, etc.) and B. so much of the outcome is out of one's control. For so long I was so focused on getting pregnant that actually being pregnant is kind of overwhelming. But I am just trying to take it one day at a time. And stop fucking Googling. (:

I do it too.  Believe me.  I think I've read the first 4 pages of results from "cramping early pregnancy" and every derivation thereof.  I'm an info person too (it's why I know so much about ttc and pregnancy, even in areas unrelated to personal experience).

Do what you need to do to get through.  Just liberally salt it, as I know you are doing.  Seasoning is better.

[anonymouseliza]

Apr 13, 2015 9:07:02 GMT -5 apunicorn said:

Apr 13, 2015 7:22:04 GMT -5 @littleliverpill said:

My bitch this Monday is at my own brain. Getting KU has kicked my anxiety into overdrive -- I worry over every little twinge, obsessively Google statistics, and generally just stress myself out over things I can't control. It's been difficult. Add the banishment of wine as a way to relax and it's just been a bit much.

+1

I'm SO worried and keep Googling and peeing on things. All my lines have been dark and I *almost* stopped worrying and then for some reason I decided to pee on a Clear Blue Week Estimator and it said 1-2 weeks. I'm only 4w2d so it's totally in the norm for it to say 1-2 weeks but I am back to super worry. And same as you, I'm not sure what to do to relax since alcohol and a lot of the herbal relaxation supplements are banned. No advice here obviously but big internet hugs. 

If it helps, I will tell you exactly how the CB Weeks estimator works and why it's wholly unreliable.

But big hugs.  This is an anxious time.  Eventually, you sort of start to live with it being out of your control, which is good preparation for parenthood, where all control is utterly illusory.

[threetaboos]

@littleliverpill yes that's it! Thanks for sharing. I'll be using that again.

byjove that's good to know. I'm not into CIO either so I've been struggling with what to do. Milk probably try that approach sooner than later. I think our other issue is we co-sleep so I need to get him into his own crib too.

[apunicorn]

Apr 13, 2015 9:14:36 GMT -5 anonymouseliza said:

Apr 13, 2015 9:07:02 GMT -5 apunicorn said:

+1

I'm SO worried and keep Googling and peeing on things. All my lines have been dark and I *almost* stopped worrying and then for some reason I decided to pee on a Clear Blue Week Estimator and it said 1-2 weeks. I'm only 4w2d so it's totally in the norm for it to say 1-2 weeks but I am back to super worry. And same as you, I'm not sure what to do to relax since alcohol and a lot of the herbal relaxation supplements are banned. No advice here obviously but big internet hugs. 

If it helps, I will tell you exactly how the CB Weeks estimator works and why it's wholly unreliable.

But big hugs.  This is an anxious time.  Eventually, you sort of start to live with it being out of your control, which is good preparation for parenthood, where all control is utterly illusory.

IT HELPS!!! IT HELPS!!! Share your secrets please.

[byjove]

threetaboos, DD essentially was co-sleeping with us because she was nursing so much. She is back in her own bed too. I'm happy to chat with you about our experience with the transition whenever you like

[threetaboos]

Apr 13, 2015 9:28:55 GMT -5 byjove said:

threetaboos, DD essentially was co-sleeping with us because she was nursing so much. She is back in her own bed too. I'm happy to chat with you about our experience with the transition whenever you like

That'd be great! I'm sure I'll be messaging you soon.

[RoLoMa]

I would like to bitch for a minute about the fact that I have to travel to the east coast tomorrow through Thursday. I am covering a meeting that I don't normally attend for a woman in my office that is 7 months pregnant. However, instead of just having me do her stuff, people are trying to get me to cover everything else. Nope, not having it.

In addition, on my second flight tomorrow the only seat available was a window seat. Sorry other people in my row...it is a 2 hour flight and I definitely can't make it that long without going to the bathroom. I'll probably have to go twice.

Hope everyone's Mondays get better!

[byjove]

oh I have one! My ipad won't charge and I just want to go home, lay in bed, and watch Downtown Abbey. Sitting on the couch and watching is not the same!! I am not sure what's wrong with it. Need a new cord I guess.

[anonymouseliza]

Apr 13, 2015 9:27:55 GMT -5 apunicorn said:

Apr 13, 2015 9:14:36 GMT -5 anonymouseliza said:

If it helps, I will tell you exactly how the CB Weeks estimator works and why it's wholly unreliable.

But big hugs.  This is an anxious time.  Eventually, you sort of start to live with it being out of your control, which is good preparation for parenthood, where all control is utterly illusory.

IT HELPS!!! IT HELPS!!! Share your secrets please.

Ok, so there are 2 test strips inside it.  One is a less sensitive test strip, looking for a higher amount of hcg (I believe it's over 200 ml/IU, but may be lower), and a more sensitive test strip, looking for the usual amount (25 ml/IU).  So, the way the digitals work at all is through a chromometer.  It's scanning for a color at a certain intensity - digitals nearly always have at least a trace amount of dye present on a test strip, which is why they tell you not to crack them open and look at the strip.  The presence of a second line on the digital is not indicative of pregnancy - in this case, a line is not just a line, the color/intensity of the line matters.

If the chromometer reads that intensity, it will say Pregnant/Yes/Whatever Positive sign.  If it doesn't (which could be just like any other test in terms of why the line may not be dark enough), it returns the negative result.  That's part of why digitals are considered less sensitive. 

So, when you take a weeks estimator test, the dye moves across both tests.  If it's a dark positive on the less sensitive test, the results come back 3+.  If there is enough dye present, but the chromometer doesn't read it darkly enough, it returns a 2 week result.  If there isn't enough color on the top line to trigger any positive, but you do trigger a positive on the more sensitive test, it triggers the Positive/1-2 week result.

Now, the thing is - this still isn't a quantitative test.  It is, in the sense that a less sensitive test strip needs at least X amount of hcg to trigger a positive result.  It's like taking an opk as an hpt - it won't trigger a positive result until your hcg is at least the trigger sensitivity of the test (which varies by brand).  You could then know you have at least that amount.  But the same thing that applies to the lightness/darkness of lines with any other test is equally applicable here - there is some variance in how much dye the test contains, how quickly it moves across the test strip, how much liquid is present, how much the wick picks up - you can invalidate a test result with not enough or too much liquid (which is what I think I did when I took a digital using the same urine that gave me a very dark positive on FR - instructions said 20 seconds, I saw the blinking indicator at 10 and took it out).  The amount of hcg concentrated in your urine may be greater or lessor depending on the time of day or on the concentration of the urine.  A four hold in which you've consumed liquid will be more dilute than one in which you didn't, even though it's the same timeframe, for instance.  So, while these are interesting and reasonably accurate home sciencey tests for a low amount of money, they aren't perfect.  Likewise there is always a possibility of damage to the test itself from improper storage or a battery issue (less commonly, but it does happen).

So you might get an accurate read or you might not.

And none of that touches the fact that you don't know what level you start out at and get a first positive at - betas vary WIDELY in early pregnancy.  Check out betabase.info and pick a dpo - the range is astonishing.  It varies so much - a test can't really account for that, you know?  Someone with really levels at 15 dpo will yield a 3+ estimator, despite being 2w by date.

So don't fret over it.  Really.  There is good reason to not trust the tests as far as you can throw them.

[apunicorn]

anonymouseliza, you are AMAZING. Thank you so much for this detailed explanation. This logical breakdown is precisely what I needed. Again thank you thank you thank you.

I also read the whole thing as if it was coming from a baby elephant (your avatar) and that just made the whole experience even better. If little elephant says that the tests are bad pregnancy viability indicators, then I am fine. Therapeutic little elephant.

[littlebee26]

anonymouseliza,thank you for that! I have to talk myself out of peeing on sticks every morning. I have a digi that I saved because I thought well, it'll tell me I'm more weeks later on and it'll make me feel better. I think I'll continue to talk myself out of POAS.