GTKY: Things You Thought You'd Never Say

[dreemkin]

What are some things you've said that would have never come out of your mouth before having kids?

[dreemkin]

Mine are:

"Aw, look at that cute little butthole"

"Stop licking your hand" (to my two year old)

[cougarette]

"I need to clean your boys". (I will start using the correct terminology eventually)

[aggiebug]

I feel so refreshed I got 4 hrs of sleep!

[Deleted]

A lot of poop related things for sure, like "Your such a good pooper" or "That was a nice fart!".

Also "I think we should leave now so that we have a lot of travel time." DH and I were notoriously late for everything before we had a baby.

[wimcgrath]

So many that I can't even think of them! (I also have a ton of these from being s first grade teacher).

"Fart it out, girl, fart it out!"

"Doesn't it feel good to have a clean butt and 'giney?"

[lilyelayne]

"Poop it out!"

"You eat with your mouth not your hands."

*hefts right boob, then left boob* "it's about time for him to eat"

[cginge]

H and I made up a duet-style song called "Poo-poo's, Come Out"...also, "Everybody Has A Stinky/Pee-Pee Diaper, Sometimes." And then these horrible songs get stuck in our heads. So we are then humming/whistling them. It's bad.

[PikoPiko]

Please just fart in your sleep.

[miniwheat]

"Babe, come look at this diaper. I think she ate a coupon."

[kartish]

"Hands don't have milk, boobs do!"

[missys]

"Leave the diaper out I want to check and make sure" (paranoid FTM)

"We can be an amazing aunt and uncle" MH after LO scream fest last night and the first time he has conceded to being one and done lol

[michelle142]

Most things are said to my 3 year old...

"Please don't ride the dog"
"Your penis is not for squeezing"
"Yes, you're right, your sister does not have a penis like you do"
"We don't lick other peoples hair, that's gross"

[WittyLittle]

"uh-oh...Poooooo eeeeeverywheeeeere!" in a public bathroom

[misshart00]

"Please don't grab your brother's penis."

"Don't sit on your brother."

"That is your brother's bed and he's asleep. Please get out."

[PikoPiko]

Honey, feel my boobs.

[dacora]

"What a good poop!" "Oh, I'm so glad you pooped." "Do you need help with that poop?" Basically anything regarding poop.

[mamabisme]

"Yaaaay!!! Yellow poopies! Mommy loves yellow poopies!!" (said after winning a battle against oversupply and the resulting green poops. It seemed like so long that they were green and i was so excited to see yellow again).

[misshart00]

"Which one of you stinks?" I really didn't want to change two diapers.

[tropicbreeze]

"You will feel so much better if you just poop"

[PikoPiko]

Uh oh, little penis is erected!

[boxerrrmama85]

"What a beautiful poop. Mommy loves your beautiful poop."

"Yes, I fucking hear the baby" ( to my sweet husband who thinks I don't hear our child fussing as she wakes)

4 hours of sleep is amazing!

[2mrsks (mrs&mrsk)]

"Please don't pee on me.. Please don't pee on me".

"There's poop all over you!"

[osumegs]

Apr 13, 2015 10:17:08 GMT -5 kartish said:

"Hands don't have milk, boobs do!"

This.

Also, while smelling my shirt: "babe, do you think this is poop or mustard?"

[abb1701]

"Stop playing with mommy's nipple and eat"

I never thought I'd quote Shrek this much but our new moto is "better out than in!"

[mands1125]

Apr 13, 2015 13:18:56 GMT -5 mamabisme said:

"Yaaaay!!! Yellow poopies! Mommy loves yellow poopies!!" (said after winning a battle against oversupply and the resulting green poops. It seemed like so long that they were green and i was so excited to see yellow again).

Haha this was me today totally!

[WittyLittle]

One from my sister with her two year old... too funny to miss
"Get your willy off your paci!!!"

[misshart00]

"Is this sweat or breast milk? Or pee?"

[dramacat]

At LO who was grunting and waving his arms: "you don't use your arms to poop! You push with your legs!"

[dramacat]

Also: "thanks DH for saving those poopy diapers for me to see". And actually meaning it.