"Free-Range Parenting"

[alayne926]

So, I came across this article www.ksdk.com/story/news/2015/04/13/meitiv-free-range-parents/25712107/ and I wanted to get other's thoughts on this.

I also read this blog about the history www.scarymommy.com/maryland-children-free-range-parents-detained-again/

Discuss!

[ajm11]

I think it's totally okay for a 10 year old to be at a playground 2 blocks away if they're with another kid/kids of the same age, but I think the park that was 1 mile away is too far regardless. I probably would not trust a 10 year old with a 6 year old, and I definitely wouldn't want a 10 year old going alone. Maybe I'll change my tune, but I'm very paranoid.

[Deleted]

As someone who has spent the last 10 years exclusively representing parents who are involved with social services, I am completely outrages for that MD couple. This does not even remotely rise to the level of child endangerment, at least as it is defined in my state. I would tee that case up for jury trial in a heartbeat if it landed in my case load as a formal case filing. Good luck finding 6 random jurors who will all agree that those parents need supervision. And what a waste of resources that are being drawn away from families who actually need them... the drug addicts trying to get clean, the mentally ill parents trying to learn to balance that with parenting, the families dealing with out of control teens, and the children of parents who just don't give a shit and need to have their rights terminated. This county's priorities are way out of order.

As for free range parenting in general, our neighborhood is fairly free range and that's why I love it. DS (8 yo) walks to the school bus by himself in the morning and I am just aware of when it returns so I can keep an eye out for him in the afternoon. If he wants to go to a friends house I don't walk him there. I call the parents and let them know he is on his way and vice versa for their kids. The other boys in the 'hood come by to ask him to ride bikes and off they all go together. The neighbors look out for the kids by all keeping an eye on them an getting to know them, not by jumping to paranoid, fear mongering conclusions that involve the police. I love the self confidence that a little bit of independence has given DS and make no apologies for letting him go unsupervised for short times. It has gradually increased since he was about 5 or 6 and will continue to as he gets older. I 100% agree that if we hover over our kids at all times we are doing them more harm than good, in the long run.

ETA:  Granted I was those kids age in the 70's and we all roamed free all the time back then.   My parents would be in jail for life based on today's "child welfare" standards.

[alayne926]

Apr 13, 2015 16:12:48 GMT -5 @jimbobcooter said:

As someone who has spent the last 10 years exclusively representing parents who are involved with social services, I am completely outrages for that MD couple. This does not even remotely rise to the level of child endangerment, at least as it is defined in my state. I would tee that case up for jury trial in a heartbeat if it landed in my case load as a formal case filing. Good luck finding 6 random jurors who will all agree that those parents need supervision. And what a waste of resources that are being drawn away from families who actually need them... the drug addicts trying to get clean, the mentally ill parents trying to learn to balance that with parenting, the families dealing with out of control teens, and the children of parents who just don't give a shit and need to have their rights terminated. This county's priorities are way out of order.

As for free range parenting in general, our neighborhood is fairly free range and that's why I love it. DS (8 yo) walks to the school bus by himself in the morning and I am just aware of when it returns so I can keep an eye out for him in the afternoon. If he wants to go to a friends house I don't walk him there. I call the parents and let them know he is on his way and vice versa for their kids. The other boys in the 'hood come by to ask him to ride bikes and off they all go together. The neighbors look out for the kids by all keeping an eye on them an getting to know them, not by jumping to paranoid, fear mongering conclusions that involve the police. I love the self confidence that a little bit of independence has given DS and make no apologies for letting him go unsupervised for short times. It has gradually increased since he was about 5 or 6 and will continue to as he gets older. I 100% agree that if we hover over our kids at all times we are doing them more harm than good, in the long run.

ETA:  Granted I was those kids age in the 70's and we all roamed free all the time back then.   My parents would be in jail for life based on today's "child welfare" standards.

I totally agree with you. As a kid in the early 80's, we walked to and from school and friends' houses and as long as we were home by the time mom and dad got home from work, we were golden.  

I think about my niece and nephews who walk to and from school (ages 11, 8, 6) and wonder if someone is going to call DFS on my sister for allowing that to happen.  Or if, God forbid, I allow DS to walk to the park around the corner from our house when he's older.  I love that our street is getting more and more kids and that the older ones all play in the cul-de-sacs together.  I hope that when DS is older, he can be trusted to have the freedom of having a "fun" childhood that doesn't involve mom and dad right there with him.  He needs to make mistakes and learn from them or he's going to be a young adult that has no decision making or problem solving skills.  

[ombradellarosa]

I can't believe how wrong it was for the police to lie to those children, keep them in a car for hours, and then take them to CPS instead of home and not contact their parents. If you're going to pick them up, whatever, but at least take them home or at the very least CALL the parents! I can't imagine how they think it was better for the kids to do what they did, and I think it's excessive in any case.

[leenziepops]

My sisters and I ages 12, 10, 8, 5 would all go to the park about two blocks away. I see nothing wrong with my parents allowing that.

[dmoney]

Personally I see nothing wrong with it but in the State of Maryland (I live here) in order to be left alone you the child has to be 12 years or older and in order to watch a sibling they have to be 13 or older. I can see where a random neighbor who doesn't know the children or their level of responsibility could be concerned. But if the Park is 2 blocks away i would 100% be fine with it. Now where we live there is a park about 3 blocks from our house, my only concern with letting this LO walk there and back alone (if we are still living in the same house) is the problem of crossing the street. The road that you have to cross to get to this playground is a major 2 lane road and there are accidents on it all the time.. That would be my only concern.

[missk0411]

I think CPS is overreacting here in threatening charges of neglect or whatever. If I recall, the park is about a mile from their house, and while I might be comfortable letting a 10 year old walk there, I'd be less comfortable letting them supervise a 6 year old on the way. And it really depends on the route. If it is through neighborhood streets and paths, that's fine. But the street that they referenced in the first 'offense' is both a neighborhood street and then becomes a major commercial street that has on ramps to a highway. Obviously I would not be comfortable letting kids (or most adults) walk that part of the route.

[alayne926]

Apr 14, 2015 8:45:50 GMT -5 @littlechivette said:

The bad thing is, the parents already had CPS looking into them before this incident, if I recall correctly. So it's certainly not helping the parents cause.

No, it's not.

I don't think the parents handled it well knowing well that the state had rules about supervision of children (even though I think it's a little ridiculous)

I also don't think that the police or CPS handled it well....the police lied to the children about taking them home and then didn't call the parents for 3 hours.  CPS surely has other families that they should be worrying about.

[alayne926]

Apr 14, 2015 9:16:06 GMT -5 @littlechivette said:

As ridiculous as it is, I kind of understand why the rules are in place. We have had 3 girls I think? Go missing from the Charlottesville area in the past few years and I get amber alerts more often than not. We also had a little boy go missing just a few weeks ago, I won't go into details but it's sad world that we live in.

It's not just the world we live in, if you look at statistics from 20 years ago, nothing was different.  Children still went missing and bad things still happened.  We are just bombarded 24/7 with bad news from every angle, you hear about everything that happens right away.  

[Deleted]

Apr 14, 2015 9:16:06 GMT -5 @littlechivette said:

As ridiculous as it is, I kind of understand why the rules are in place. We have had 3 girls I think? Go missing from the Charlottesville area in the past few years and I get amber alerts more often than not. We also had a little boy go missing just a few weeks ago, I won't go into details but it's sad world that we live in.

You're only aware of it because we live in a world of instant information and everything that happens anywhere travels worldwide in a second.   There are actually less child abductions now than there were in the 70's and 80's. 

[Deleted]

When I was 7 my best friend and I (who was also 7) were almost abducted by a man impersonating a police officer. The only reason we were not is because our parents raised us free range style and taught us who strangers are etc so we were both really quick about it and asked to see the police officers badge and why he wasn't driving a police car. When he had no badge we just ran as fast as we could away from him. Bottom line is I think it's better to not shelter a child because in the long run it can actually make them more susceptible in a dangerous situation.